Burning desire

Mackenzie|07

"In another life
I would be your girl
We'd keep all our promises
Be us against the world(...)"
-the one that got away
(Katy Perry)

I shouldn't have come here, shouldn't have went to the stupid concert, shouldn't have drunk, shouldn't have danced with him.

I can deny it to myself all I want, but I do still love him. How could I not after what we had? Because that kind of love is not the type to vanish fast or vanish at all. Don't get me wrong. I'm not the type of girl whose life stop because of a boy. Actually, the way he broke me only made me gather more strength that I put into my clothing line "state of grace."

But he made a mark on me, our relationship was anything but simple. We loved each other with a burning passion that I can't even explain.

I can feel his sight on my back after I finish renting over my love for New York. After the Rihanna song started playing I couldn't take it. Couldn't act nonchalant because it was too much. Having him back, dancing and drinking. No, I couldn't. But I knew damn well that if my Steven was still there, he would follow me. And now here we are.

"Yeah, I get the same feeling honestly. Is great being here. I'm lucky for staying until we finish the album," he says as if it's the most normal thing in the world. My heart stops beating. He's staying for good? Oh no. My brother didn't mention anything to me. What the hell?

I gather some strength to ask him, not really ready for an answer, "you guys are staying?" I hold my breath, clenching my jaw and not looking back.

"Yeah," he tells me warily. "We are to record our new album in New York. I'd say 6/7 months here?"

Oh boy.... this was just the beginning of the nightmare, and I don't think I can trust myself around him. "Mhmhmm. Nice, I guess?" My heart pangs against my ribcage, and oh my god, the air is being restricted at my lungs.

Steven doesn't immediately answers me, but I don't know what he's doing since I'm still not strong enough to look back. "So, where are you living?" Small talk. That hurts. After the long way we've come just so our conversations can come down to small talk. That's the worst part. "I live in Brooklyn. With Jordan and Lisa." I'm straightforward. One of my qualities according to old Steven.

He chuckles behind me. "You're a Brooklyn baby then. Still likes Lou Reed?" I can't help but smile over this. Thank god is dark and I'm not turning around.

"Yeah, I'm a Brooklyn baby. With my rare jazz collection on the living room," I chuckle, making a reference to the Lana del Rey song. Steven nods, a small smirk gracing his lips, making my stomach turn in excitement. Ahg, I hate the physical reaction he gives me. "You still write songs?" I can feel the curiosity in his tone. That's a delicate point. Songwriting is something that always reminds me of him...because it has always been linked to him.

"Sometimes. When I need to say something and to let it go, but don't know how. I don't write as much anymore though, focusing on college and my clothing line." Truth is I've written a lot in the past years, but he doesn't need this information.

I can feel his broad body standing next to me now. Looking down at the city, he silently nods over what I just said.

A cold wind sweeps over us and I feel myself shivering. He notices and without saying anything, Steven takes off his leather jacket and hangs it on my back, being left with only his black long sleeved shirt that holds his body tight, defining all his muscles underneath. Yeah, I was right about those abs.