Burning desire

Mackenzie|05

I can't believe I'm here. I just wanted to go home, but I had nowhere to escape when the girls showed up at the parking lot accompanied by the security guards because apparently we were going to a bar with the band for their last night of tour party or something. I'm so pissed I feel like an artery is about to explode in my head. How do I find myself in these situations? That's karma or some shit.

"You can go home you know? I'll look after Jordan. Can only imagine how hard it's for you. All of this in one night. I'd need time to process," Lisa whispers at my ear next to me in the couches in the vip section we are in.

"I'll stay, need some fun after all." I weakly smile at her, while the boys come bursting through the doors.

"Dude, we did it! Best last night ever, let's celebrate." That's misha, accompanied by a dark haired girl, a model probably. And oh god, how much I missed these boys, the time we used to spend together. Yes, they remind me of everything, but at the same time they are my oldest friends and once upon a time, before fame, stadiums, paparazzi and magazines, we all would sit down the beach singing and playing together.

I can see by the look in Lisa's face she's thinking the same thing. I hold her hand tightly at that. Don't know what I'd do without her. She's been my sister and my rock through everything, I probably wouldn't have gotten over all that happened without her. I don't think she understands how grateful I am for having her in my life.

My line of thoughts trail to the past, before I snap back to reality when Dane's voice ring in my ears.

"I think it's a shame that you didn't even talk to me backstage, Little sis." He pouts, joking. I get up and hug him tightly. "Missed you," I whisper to his long hair. Dane is my half brother, so you can only imagine that. Our dad married my mom when he was 2, after his mom left them, and he and Steven found their friendship through music. Dane also has history with Lisa, so you can see how we are all enlaced on each other somehow.

Sitting back in my place, Misha orders shots of tequila so we can "celebrate" and suddenly an uncomfortable silence washes through the room when Steven gets in, with all his rock god glory and cigarette between his lips. He looks amazing, and my stomach instantly fills with butterflies over the sight of him. The cigarette is just a plus.

I don't like that he's become this person I can barely recognize, but can't deny it fits him damn well. Back in the corridor when I saw him, he pissed me off. And I hated, hated the way he treated me, the way he looked at me like I was an inconvenience in the room, the way he humiliated me, but I couldn't help but catch glimpses of my Steven during that conversation. He was still there. Either way, I don't plan on falling for that trap again, thank you.

He sits on the cushions across from me, a redhead by his side, and not once does he look my way. The room remains silent until Jordan, looking at all of us, breaks it, "okay, so no one's going to tell me what went down?" Luke agrees, trying to find an answer on our faces but we all remain silent. I would answer, if I wasn't trying to control myself and not take the hair extensions out of the girl, who is sucking Steven's neck, with my bare hands.

We are saved by the barman who comes in carrying our tequila shots, and right after he leaves, a familiar face gets in the room and I can't contain my happiness when I jump in his arms. Peter catches me instantly and holds me for a few seconds, laughing.

He was one of our closest friends back at school and moved to NYC with me and Lisa. Peter became the official photographer of the band and went on tour with the boys a year ago. Haven't seen him in six months.

After realizing what I just did and that we have an audience, I let go of Peter and look back at the skeptical faces of our friends. Steven looks like he could kill someone, and I don't really care.

"Hey, guys! So, what's in for the night?" Peter asks in a cheerful tone as if we hadn't just made a scene in front of them. Not going to lie, we did hookup a few times, but there wasn't feelings involved, and he's one of my greatest friends now.

"Drinks, dancing, girls and going crazy." That's Misha's answer. Obviously. And suddenly I'm possessed by this weird feeling. Yeah, I want to have fun, he can't break me anymore. Lifting the tequila shot in my hands I look at everyone's gobsmacked faces, they definitely didn't expect me of all people to open my mouth, and say, "I'm with misha, let's celebrate the night away and forget about everything!" Before throwing the bitter drink down my throat.

Lisa smiles at me, Jordan starts laughing but grabs her own shot, just like Luke, Peter, and Misha, the latter looking at me with a smirk.

Dane just shakes his head, but chuckles softly before grabbing a shot too. When everyone's got their shots in hand, I lift mine and start my glamorous speech. "Congratulations devils of the night, for your successful career, for everything you guys have accomplished. I'm super proud of you, and more than happy to have been there when you guys started and now here after all. But here's a toast to Steven-"

Everyone goes wide eyed, as if they are not sure I will do this now. But I have nothing to lose anymore. I look at him dead in the eye. "For fighting for everything, and for accomplishing everything. Your dream came true, you've made it here. Hope it was worth it losing what you lost on the way. Cheers!" I wink at him, who doesn't even try to hide his surprise. But as I said before, I don't care. We all drink it up with not a care in the world, but I can still sense his eyes on me from time to time.

After a few more drinks, I finally get up, feeling the alcohol kicking in on my system. "Let's dance!!" I pull my friends to the dance floor and they happily follow me.