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10- ...Even if it kills me

"Felix...why...why did you leave me?"

Chan broke down tearing up as he gripped Felix's wrists tighter.

"Channie..." the younger responded sadly.

"Y-you just left me! With no explanation! I've been looking for you for so long..." Chan sobbed, the younger was also dropping tears hearing his confession.

"Chan-"

"You said you loved me...and yet you left me...you left me all alone...I couldn't find you for weeks..." Chan looked into his sad eyes.

"I do love you Channie...I-"

"Then why the hell did you just leave me?! You disconnected your phone! You left without a trace! Just like before..." Chan stepped back speaking louder with hurt and anger.

"Channie I was coming back!"

"When? Tomorrow? Next month? Next year? When Felix?!" Chan snapped.

The younger wiped his tears away listening to the older, feeling guilt from hurting him.

"I-"

"You said you loved me...yet you left...without a care..." Chan shook his head wiping his own tears away.

"Chan I do love you! I left because I do...to protect you..." he sniffled.

"What...?"

"Because...I know you would get involved...this is my mess. Not yours...you didn't kill Jackson's gang, it was me...so now karma came back to fuck me over with Jackson's blackmail..." he cried.

"Baby..." Chan cupped his cheeks looking into his eyes, the younger crying even more because he missed Chan calling him that.

"So the only way...to make sure you were protected no matter what...was for me to...leave. But...it wasn't forever...Channie I was coming back when I would finish the deal with Jackson"

The older immediately pulled him into a hug, missing the younger in his hold after so long.

"It was only 16 days Felix...and that felt like forever you were gone...I can't handle it" Chan held him tight tearing up again.

"Channie..." he whimpered into his neck hugging Chan back.

"I was miserable...just like when you left the first time...I hated every day being alone..." Chan cried.

"I'm sorry Channie...I'm so sorry...I wanted to do what was best protecting you...and that meant distancing myself from you..." he said sadly looking at him.

"But sweetie, you leaving me...just like that...is just as bad if the cops were to catch you. I can't live without you" Chan said softly looking into his brown eyes.

"Channie..." the younger whispered.

Chan pulled him into a deep and passionate kiss, feeling the love and warmth he's missed for weeks. The younger kissed him back slowly slipping his arms around his neck.

They were in their own world, just focused on one another as Chan left more soft kisses on his lips and cheeks.

"Lix...I love you...please don't ever leave me like that again...please come home..." Chan pleaded kissing him again.

The younger gave a small nod looking down.

"Ok Channie...I'll come home...I won't ever leave you again. I promise but...I have to deal with Jackson..."he sighed.

"No you don't, I took care of it. Your job assignments are done" he gave a small smile stroking his thumbs on the younger's freckled cheeks.

"What...? H-how...? I still owe him-"

"Not anymore, not when the other person uses blackmail as well" Chan teased a bit.

"What?? You did? So...I'm free from him?? But-"

"Babe, that's why I said that day I caught you...I always have a plan~" he kissed his nose.

"Oh..." Felix blushed looking down again.

Chan smiled stroking his hair.

"Lixie..." he whispered, the younger hummed looking at him.

"Please whatever the problem is...don't feel like you have to deal with the burden all alone. You're not the leader of a gang anymore...you're my boyfriend...my soulmate. We share worries...ok?" Chan said softly.

"Yes Channie..." he smiled back.

"And don't ever leave me again...ok? My heart can't handle it..." he said sadly.

"I promise...Channie is cute when he misses me~" Felix teased a bit.

"Well this cute criminal made me that way~" Chan teased back slipping his arms around his waist.

"Don't worry, my sexy cop made me the same way...I missed you like crazy Channie..." Felix gave a pout cupping his face.

"Oh ya? So you missed all of this?~" Chan smirked before pulling him into a heated kiss, the younger squeaked feeling Chan slip his tongue in.

"Mmm...Channie..." Felix gave a needy moan, Chan definitely missed hearing that as he pressed his body further against Felix's. Backing him further against the wall as he snuck he hands to Felix's ass.

"I can tell you have baby~" he teased against his lips, pressing his knee between Felix's legs against his front. The boy moaned again gripping his hands on Chan's shirt.

"Y-yes Chan...I miss you fucking me~" he teased near Chan's ear.

"Well fuck, we have a lot to catch up on don't we? Let's go home cutie~"

"Ok Channie~
And yes we do~"

Just as Chan grabbed his hand, he stopped again.

"Wait...where have you been staying all this time Lix?"

"Oh! You're right! I need to get my clothes and pistol...but with Jacob!" He smiled.

"What?! The cocaine addict??" Chan gasped.

"Channie he isn't an addict! He's nice and my friend!" Felix pouted.

"Well...at least that's good-"

"But he is the best cocaine dealer around!" He giggled.

"My god...Lix-"

"And we make brownies together!"

"Good lord..."

Well...at least he wasn't doing any drugs himself...