At The Edge Of The Ocean

13. First Day Part II

If the forty-five minutes spent with Bessie In the park didn't disperse all the dark thoughts from Meredith's head, they certainly dissipated her anger. Meredith thought that Bessie was the best thing that ever happened to her. She was her balance, her grounding and that little something that made her more humane. In other words, without Bessie, Meredith would be a lonely bitter hag.

Her way back to the hospital was full of remorse for her irrational outburst on Lexie. Her crushed face kept haunting her. None of Meredith's misfortunes was her fault, neither her twisted love life nor her dysfunctional childhood.

And Derek... Did she have any right to reproach him his relationships? After all, they were just... She didn't know herself what they were. All she knew was that he didn't belong to her and was free to act as he pleased.

Meredith went to her office to leave her things and grab her lab coat.

"Meredith?" Derek was currently in his office and given the close neighborhood of their work stations he couldn't not notice her return. "Where have you been?"

"I..." she turned to face him, "went for lunch."

Derek looked concerned as he took in her hollow face, "You went out?"

"Yeah, did something happen? Didn't Dr. Grey pass you my message?"

"Dr. Grey?" he sighed as though he had understood something. "Yes, she informed me of Mr. Robinson's condition."

God, he thinks I'm upset because of Lexie and my daddy issues.

"Meredith, d'you want to talk about it? Your conversation with Lexie didn't go very well, did it?"

"No, please, I don't want to think about it right now."

"Mer-"

"Who's McFoxy?" she shot unexpectedly. The need to know the truth proved stronger than her uncertainties and her pride.

"Who?" Derek furrowed his brows.

Meredith was perplexed. He seemed genuinely surprised with her query. Either he was really clueless on what she was talking about or he did some good acting.

"Never mind. I must check up on my patient. Another patient. She has a tumor and she's refusing to have an operation because she's waiting for her fiancé who might be imaginary."

Meredith readjusted her lab coat and scurried away. Derek stared after her with unease. They were making so much headway that morning and now she distanced herself again.

"What are you doing here?" Meredith asked her friends coming into a patient's room. Cristina was poring over a book, while Alex, George and Izzie were eating their lunch.

"Having our well-earned lunch break," replied Cristina.

"In a patient's room?" she looked over a sleeping form of an elderly man.

"It's quiet here," explained George.

"Yeah, we've sorta moved into the really old guy's room," supplied Alex and added seeing Mer's indignant expression. "Relax, Mer. He's in coma. Has been for years."

"That doesn't mean he's an element of décor! He's a patient," huffed Meredith.

"Wow, you've really gotten into the role of attending," commented Izzie sarcastically.

"Wasn't it you who ranted not to call the really old guy the really old guy?" asked Cristina, not tearing her eyes from the textbook.

"I'm not hungry anymore," Izzie shrugged her shoulders and left the room, not giving Meredith a chance to speak.