Behind closed doors (Clexa AU)

Chapter 12

A week Later.

"Shit!" Clarke hissed after stepping on Madi's logos. "Madi I told you to park your toys after you're done playing with them." She does not even understand why she still plays with them. 

"Sorry mom." Sarcastic tone. Picking up the toys from the floor into her bustket. 

The door bell rang and Madi rushed to open it. Her mother was in a bad mood today, spoons kept dropping in the kitchen. "Madi ask who it is before you open the door." 

"She says her name is Lexa."

More spoons drop to the floor. "Let her in." Picking the utenciles, droping everything in the sink. She looked down at herself, she only had an oversized T-shirt and her comfy black underwear. Standing up straight and thanking whoever is listening for the kitchen covering her down part. Lexa walks in talking to Madi.

"Mommy can Lexa stay for breakfast." 

She tilted her head for only a second. Avoiding the woman who was once her wife. 

"Madi go upstairs, " 

After saying goodbye to Lexa she ran upstairs. "No running please!" Clarke called while making pancakes. Its only 7am on a Saturday morning, what was Lexa doing here. Plus she isn't strong to walk around.

"Morning Clarke." Lexa pulled a chair and sat down. She could tell Clarke was not wearing anything other than the T-shirt. So she looked everywhere but Clarke 

"What can I do for you?" Her tone sounding harsher than she intended.

"To talk." She let out a sigh. "Can you look at me."

"Why? So that you can remember that you're angry with me. Do you want to recall the lies that I told you. Is that it?"

"I want to look at you and see the woman I fell in love with."

"Lexa stop...." 

"You are right Clarke, you did lie, you were selfish and stubborn, because you didn't trust me enough, we got divorced."

Clarke turns to face the thief that stole her heart out of her chest. Now she walks around like a zombie, only with no heart.

"I trusted you ...i get you were upset but did you have to pull the divorce card on me. I was trying to give you what you wanted." She yelled, knowing full well that Madi can hear them.

"I wanted my wife." Lexa yelled back, standing from the stool. "I admit i overreacted, that is why i put the note inside, giving you a chance to make a choice, once again you choose the wrong one. I was hurt that you spent our time lying to me. Then you tell me about her(points upstairs) how did you expect me to feel about you trusting Nyilah over me? Once again you put yourself first over us. I left for my treatment, i came back because i knew Murphy was following your ass."

"I always put you first.."

"Did you ask me? Or did you just assume that i wouldn't accept you and Madi after i find out."

The pancakes are now burning. She turns off the stove, taking a deep breath.

"I'm sorry." Clarke whispers enough for Lexa's ears.

"I apologize Clarke." They look at each other . "it was not all your fault. I should never have tasted you with the divorce papers like that, when i knew you wouldn't read it right away.

Lexa walks to her side. Standing in front of her. "I want to move passed that ." she takes her hands. "But I need to stop blaming you for everything."

"Lexa you have the right to be mad. We became strangers in our relationship. I'm the one who decided to keep us a secret."

"Were you ashamed of me "  her tone sounding sad.

Clarke pulls her hands away and then places them on the woman's cheeks, rubbing her warmly.

"No, never. Lexa I was scared of what Murphy would do and look what happened when he found out, he was going to kill me and you jumped  in and then and then and...."

"Its okay, there is no lawyer that can get him out of prison, we have that taken care of." 

Which was a fact. 

"Lexa I'm so sorry...I ruined..."

"You ruined nothing that can't be fixed. I mean it Clarke we need a new start."

"You once said that you wanted to get to know me has a mother." She let's out a smile.

This started off awkward but she likes were all this was going. Lexa was considering being a couple again. If someone told her about this, Clarke would have laughed in their face because of how Lexa seemed to have been treating her. Cold.

"That's because you were a mother behind closed doors. You  were not a mother in my eyes and has a parent, its about your child, you can't be selfish, I have to understand that." 

They stare at each other. Understanding and a little of trust in the mix. It was refreshing to actually find a common ground, now one more important thing was left.

"I think you should tell your daughter that you're married." Lexa smiled and pulled away with a blush.

"What? I mean I know were about to get together but what?"

"Well." Her smile deepened. "I decided to go down the secret road and do something behind closed doors too."

"Okay..." She joined Lexa by leaning on the counter. "I don't get it."

"The divorce papers were fake. I had Titus draw them up, I needed an out he came up with a way. I needed to know if we still loved each other. We both needed that space. So I'm guilty of making you believe you were single for all these years. That is why mom kind of hates you at the moment because she found out just when I returned before your show." 

"Are you kidding." Shocked, her face pale as white ." so we are still married? What was actually in the file?"

"This is why you need to start reading Clarke." Lexa pulled her by the hem of the t- shirt, eyeing her legs like a predator. "Jokes aside i'm sorry, like i said before i overreacted and i shouldn't have."

Clarke is still blank. "We are still married?"

Lexa nods and Clarke pulls her in, keeping the kiss PG.

"Was Anya in on this too?"

"She wasn't at first but then after talking to you about it she read the entire thing . Anya always knew we were married and Titus of course, for other reasons."

Clarke just shook her head and kissed her once more. Lexa was crazy, her crazy woman