Behind closed doors (Clexa AU)

Chapter 5

"Lexa lets not rationalize this and just talk this through."

The papers were still glued to her hand

"There is nothing to say, you can take that home with you. If there is a need for additions or subtractions you can contact Titus and Anya, i don't have an entire day."

Her voice was strong, firm and icy. Which was confusing Clarke. Was she mad or not?

"How_why this decision?"

"Like i said before, READ!"

The burst of her anger made Clarke jump a little

"The least you owe me is an explanation." Lexa burst out laughing

"You are funny. I owe you an explanation? I'm i the one with secrets to tell, am i the one lying just so you can spend time with Nyilah? I'm i the one ashemed to be seen in public with me? Am i the one pulling out of this relationship? Am i the one building our relationship on lies?

Clarke runs a hand through her hair.

i can save us right? There is still time. I just need to come clean.

"At least let me explain." Lexa scoffed "please, I will accept your decision after."

"My decision is starring at you. But i'll let you explain because i would like to be given a second chance if i were in your shoes."

"I'm not ditching you to see Nyilah." Lexa just relaxes in her seat. Obviously waiting for Clarke to continue. "Nyilah has been helping me with something..someone."

"Do you remember the last time i was in Europe?" Lexa does not respond so Clarke just continues and explains everything that happened to her and how she found out she was pregnant and kept the baby away from everyone.

Lexa was on her feet, keeping a very good distance away from Clarke but also wanting to hold her.

It was devastating and no woman deserves to be treated in that way no matter how sour the story became at some moments. She wanted Clarke to have all the time in the world right now because she still needed to understand something. Why?

Clarke explained everything till the recent events. Her deciding to tell her friends and Madi meeting her friends and was going to meet her grandparents today.

"Madi is a nice name." Lexa said in a small voice. Clarke would have missed it if she wasn't looking out for every reaction on Lexa's face.

"I never meant to keep her or us a secret. I was just afraid of what Murphy would do if he finds out that i'm happy with you and if he finds out Madi is his daughter. I didn't want to risk it. I also didn't know if you would accept Madi or not"

She watched has Lexa's face turned to disgust. "Are you fucking with me right now?"

"Lexa you once said you didn't want kids." And she saw her mistake right there but the words were out of her mouth and into Lexa's ear.

"No, you're not going to use what I said at 17 has a fucking excuse for keeping the child as a secret from your fucking wife. Was our marriage a fucking trashcan to you because you sure threw in a lot of garbage in it."

"That is not true?"

"And what is? That you trust Nyilah over your wife?"

"You know that is not true. I was afraid of everyone's reaction."

This shit was going left and fast.

"But i'm not everyone. I was supposed to be your wife. You didn't trust me enough to let me protect you. Trust, loyalty and honesty are what you couldn't give me, instead you fucking flashed them down the toilet. I'm happy that you are a good mother to that child because she is innocent in all this."