Behind closed doors (Clexa AU)

chapter 8

Lexa lead Clarke to the kitchen. She set the kettle on the stove and waited for the water to boil. They haven't said a word to each other ever since Clarke spoke those three words. She knew that she missed Clarke deeply. There hasn't being a day that went by that Lexa didn't think about Clarke, what she was doing, where she was and what she was wearing.

"I miss you too Clarke." Lexa finally said. She was looking everywhere but Clarke. Avoiding those beautiful Blue eyes . Lexa then noticed that Clarke was only wearing a tiny hoodie and she was from the outside. Then the thought clicked. Anya? Lexa excused herself and went outside. She found Anya chatting with Echo, obviously about her 'because they don't have anything better to talk about' was Lexa's thought.

Echo moved away from the two but close enough to see Lexa but not too near to hear what they were saying. Lexa looked upset, and after some chitchat her face relaxed later on and they both walked inside the house. 

Lexa returned in the kitchen and found Clarke exactly where she left her. She was playing with her fingers. A telltale that Clarke only does when she's nervous. Lexa quickly ignored the urge to touch Clarke's hands and busied herself with making two cups of tea. She didn't need to ask how Clarke took it because she already remembers how the woman likes her tea like the back of her hands. 

"Thank you!" Clarke said when Lexa handed her the cup. Lexa nodded and joined Clarke on the stool next to her.

Clarke was surprised. She thought Lexa would want to create some distance between them but Lexa was being very kind and acting normal. Well the new normal between them. She thought by now, Lexa would be screaming her head out.

"I'm guessing you came to talk about something." Lexa cleared the silence. Clarke turned to face her for a few seconds before staring at her cup.

"How are you? Like really how are you doing?" Lexa sipped her coffee like what Clarke was asking wasn't important.

Her lips pursed. Such nice, feminine lips. Clarke wished that kissing her wasn't on her list of 'hold-on's'.

"I am feeling okay, today." Which was true. The last days having been horrible.

"What type is it?" Lexa sighed, "honestly i don't have energy to talk about it. At least not now." She wasn't mad, Lexa just felt exhausted. Anya will want to talk to. She still hasn't told her mom and if Diyoza finds out, she won't hear the end of it. So what she's asking for is a little space from the subject. 

"How is your daughter?" Lexa finally asked. Everything just felt awkward . this conversation their current proximity. Everything.

Clarke looked at Lexa in the eyes. Searching for something, anything .

Lexa's eyes were soft and sincere. "She is alright. She went from O being her favourite to Costia being her favourite aunt."

Yeah Lexa had heard all about that. She has being in contact with Jake ever since he found out about their marriage. At first he was mad and gave Lexa an ear full, filled with emotional lecture because lets face it, Jake is like a second father to her. She later told him about her illness and made him promise to not tell Clarke until she read the divorce papers. 

Jake had gushed about Madi a few times saying she had a strong spirit just like her. Its crazy if you ask Lexa how someone she has never met can have her personality. Even Costia mentioned it when Lexa was talking to Derrick. 

"That's good to hear." Silence . "Fuck this is so awkward and its time for my favourite TV show. Grays anatomy. You want to join?" Lexa sounded so excited and a little weight was lifted from Clarke  because she could agree, yes it was becoming awkward to breath normally.