South Side, Baby ~ Shameless

19

I don't move for days and everyone knows not to bother me. But Ian never listens.

The first thing he does when he comes back to the house is go upstairs and force me out of bed. He has to carry me because I have no feeling in my legs. He checks my monitor then hurries downstairs when he sees the number, dropping lower each day that I won't eat.

"Why haven't you made her eat? She's close to a seizure." Ian says. He sits me down in a chair and holds me up as i shiver. He grabs a pop and a candy bar and forces me to eat it.

"I'm gonna be sick." I tell Ian.

"Try to keep it down, Liv." Ian says. I try my hardest but he hands me the trashcan and I throw up.

"Come on we have to go bail Lip out of jail." Ian says grabbing my shoes. I slip them on my feet, struggling because of my stomach.

We bail him out with Mandy and he hugs me first. I nearly start crying when he wraps his arms around me. "How you doin', little sis?" He asks.

"Pretty fucking shitty. I need to sit down." I say and slide to the floor as my monitor starts to beep.

"Okay let's get you to urgent care." Lip says picking me up. "God damn that baby gets any bigger and I won't be able to do this."

——

The doctor tells us I've lost five pounds since my last ultra sound which isn't good and could hurt the baby.

They pump me full of insulin and send me on my way.

I hold my back as I walk because god damn this bump is huge.

Fiona hugs me when I get home and sits a plate in front of me. I try to eat as much as I can.

"How's Ollie making you feel?" Fiona asks me.

"I don't know if it's him or bipolar but I just feel sick." I tell her.

"You experienced a huge loss and you are functioning still. Barely but you are. Do you want me to go with you to the funeral tomorrow?" She asks. I nod and try to stand up.

I go upstairs and lay down grabbing my phone. I go through my voicemails and listen to the same ones over and over.

Hey, baby. I miss you and the baby. I'll be home soon. I love you.

I do this every night before I go to bed and like every night I start uncontrollably sobbing to the point Ian lays next to me.

——-

Fiona wakes me up a hour before I have to be at the funeral home. I put on a black dress and shoes and go downstairs. Fiona hands me orange juice and I drink it. She's dressed in all black too.

We leave soon after in Jimmy's car. The car ride is silent like everything is here lately. I haven't even been back to our apartment since he died. This is the first time I'll see him since the hospital.

"Will you be okay tonight? I have my night at the club." Fiona asks. I nod.

We walk in and i stop when i see him laying in the casket. He's so pale and frozen. He looks at peace.

I cry the whole time and don't remember much after because I black out. Just like Addy's funeral.

I wake up to Ian drilling into the door. "What are you doing?" I ask throwing my legs over the bed.

"Trying to keep Frank out so you get a bed at night." He says. "How are you feeling?"

"Like I'm gonna get sick." I run to the bathroom and throw up. I throw up so much that I start dry heaving. Tears run down my face and I get up.

"I'm going downstairs." I say. Frank comes inside with some drunk friends and shoves me when I get downstairs.

"Frank! What the fuck she's pregnant!" Fiona yells helping me up.

"Pick a bed boys!" Frank yells running upstairs. I sit on the couch and hold my back as I get pains in my lower back.

"Fuck!" I cry as a strong one hits me.

Fiona runs down the stairs and over to me. "It's too early for him to come and I don't think they're braxton hicks." I tell her.

"Okay lets go to the hospital and we can hopefully stop it at least for a few more weeks." Fiona helps me up and we get into Jimmy's car.

They take me in immediently and do an ultrasound.

"How many weeks did you say you were?" The doctor asks.

"Twenty six." I say holding my back.

"You're looking way more than that. I can give you a shot to stop the labor." He says. I nod.

"Please. This shit fucking hurts!" He gives me the shot and makes me stay there for a while before sending me home.

I go home and sleep the rest of the night until Frank starts his bullshit. He tries getting into the room with Carl and Ian and I.

"Fucking Christ Frank! Let me fucking sleep!" I scream at him. He stops and tries Debbie's room.

I wince when I get a contraction. "Fuck." I grab my back and Ian jumps up.

"Is the baby coming?" He asks.

"I don't know. They gave me a shot to stop the labor because I'm thirty weeks. Not twenty six but it doesn't feel like any different." I tell him standing up.

"Should I go get V?" He asks. I shake my head and walk to the bathroom. I end up throwing up like I do every night.

——

I walk downstairs the next morning to the house full of kids for Debbie's daycare. I throw up like clockwork every morning.

Mandy comes downstairs in no pants like always and grabs a coffee. "Where's my brother?" I ask. She nods towards the stairs. I waddle up and into his room. I stop at the top and stand there for a minute as a contraction hits me.

I manage to get to Lip's room and I slide to the floor. "I think this baby is coming. Can you go to the hospital with me?" I ask. He nods and helps me up. "I want to smoke first."

We smoke a blunt then go downstairs and he puts my shoes on me.

I just want this kid out of me already.