Chapter 45 - Vulnerable Thoughts & Changes of Heart

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The following days, I only prepared myself for what was to come; the rest of my life. All seventh years had begun packing their belongings and awaiting the day that we would part ways with the institution that had seen us grow from naive and young to knowledgeable and powerful.

I had finally come to terms with my aunt's departure from this life, only because I knew that it was part of some mysterious play in destiny's cards. In one way or the other, her death helped finalize the stage of my life I had once believed I was desperate to leave. Life only gets more difficult moving forward, but what lies ahead is definitely worth living.

This year, I arrived at Hogwarts with a narrow-minded attitude towards people and life itself. Spite and hatred for those who had done me wrong or whom I simply disliked. A nonchalant and unbothered attitude towards events from which I did not properly cope or just the daily occurrences of life. I was desperate to escape my current reality because I was only sure of who I could become, not of who I am or was. Somehow, my academic ambitions and thirst for knowledge were merely the validation necessary to compensate for what was missing from my life. Knowledge is nothing but the intelligent's addiction, but I was trapped in my sleepless nights and uncontrollable desire to surpass others and even myself. But I had yet to discover the beauty behind the madness.

My cold exterior eventually thawed as I opened myself to the possibility of friendship, despite animosity towards some remaining. Slowly, but surely, I started noticing people, environments, and circumstances that I was once blinded to. I exited the lonesome comfort zone I had created for myself and set more concrete goals for myself regardless of the intentions behind those aspirations.

Tensions built and hatred lessened as my inner struggles and feelings were tapped into and explored truly for the first time. I became more understanding and aware of myself and of others, I had lived an isolated life prior to those realizations.

I had let my guard down only to be struck by an indescribable infatuation that led me on a mission to redeem a lost soul and on that quest I discovered too many hidden truths. Then, I grieved. I grieved for the physically dead and I, at one point, grieved for the dead of soul.

Now, as I lie in my chambers staring at the delicate ring given by my beloved, it dawned on to me that my vulnerability did not come without suffering and surrendering of my heart; but vulnerable thoughts soon became brave actions that provided me resilience, strength, discernment, clarity and made me lose all fear of the unknown. Everything, somehow, came full circle. Everything I wanted and needed has been granted to me, despite taking a completely unexpected path in order to obtain it.

I, along with the individuals that have decided to stick around, had changes of heart.

In the blink of an eye, hatred turned into love, conflict turned into resolution and imprisonment turned into freedom.

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