Ms Wilson's Replacement

15: Past Life

“Believe me, when we kiss, and we will, you will know we kissed.”
~Aisling Magic

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Rule # 2: Remember you are Ms Wilson.

I lay in bed unable to sleep. Eli dropped me off many hours ago and after kissing me on my cheek, he waved me goodbye. It is four hours since then and every time I close my eyes, the memory of the kiss we shared is what I see.

The kiss although accompanied by Eli fondling was harmless, the reaction my body makes to that memory is the issue. And the past few hours I've rolled around in bed, wondering why that is.

I remember how delicately soft his lips were as they touched mine and how his touch although possessive was gently and lovingly. I remember wanting more even as we pulled away only because I didn't want to get carried away.

Anna wouldn't have done that, maybe she would have wanted her fiancé to come home with her, especially after the way he was at dinner. Right? right?

Things would have been so much better with my simple life and my simple job and my simple friends, Paula and Luke. I remember the last time I saw him over a week ago.

Flashback...

I opened the door and there stood Luke with two cans of Monster and a box of pizza and most importantly, a broad smile on his face.

"I know I didn't call, I had to come and check up on you and I brought these because I know how much you hate me coming over without bringing food." He held up the pizza and the two cans to further prove his words.

I grinned at him and pulled him inside before closing the door.

"Whoa, someone has been doing their homework," Luke said, staring at the floor where Anna's documents which I was going through were scattered on and also my jotter was open.

"I forgot to tidy up," I excused myself before covering the documents up.

"Sample contract," he read the words written on the front page and before I could make up the words I should say in my head, he continued "Have you been given a new job I don't know of?" he raised a curious brow and Luke's curiosity had gotten him into countless troubles in the past, but he never learnt and at this point, I didn't think he ever would.

"No, I'm not," I picked the documents up from the floor, adding, "but you know it's not good to be snooping around other people's stuff." I scolded, taking them to the kitchen and dropping them on the dining table.

"Sue me then" he folded his arms and took a moment, "Are you going away?" he suddenly asked with a very serious tone, the light in his eyes going out a little.

My heart weakened within my chest at the change in his emotions and I looked away from him.

"Is that why the man came over to the supermarket asking questions about you?"

That must have been the person Anna used to get knowledge and information about me. Luke was a smart ass and he was going to put two and two together. "I'm not going away; this is for a friend of mine."

"You have a friend I don't know about?"

"Okay, I love you, Luke, but you need to back off and stop asking questions I don't want to answer!" I snapped, my face already burning. This is already difficult for me without him trying to meddle in it. I inhaled sharply and moved to sit down.

"I'm sorry," he apologised, "I'm just bothered for you and if something is up, you can tell me"

"Nothing is up, Luke," I lied through my teeth before looking up at him. "This has no hand with the man asking questions about me, I am fine."

He sighed and sat down beside me, "Fine, no more questions."

I turned on the TV and we watched in awkward silence while taking the pizza and monster which Luke came in with and although I knew Luke had a lot he wanted to say, he didn't dare open his mouth.

Choosing to break the ice that was now between us, I asked, "How was work?"

"It was great, I missed you though, how's your arm now?" he inquired, carefully observing the arm that was now out of the cast it had been in for the last two weeks.

I chose to ignore the 'I missed you' part and focus on the part where he just asked me how my arm was now feeling. I raised the arm a little to properly evaluate the process, "Good from the look of it," I giggled before dropping the empty can on the centre table between us and the TV.

"Great, you always find a way to bounce back from a complicated situation."

I laughed inwardly, muttering 'not this time to myself.'

I picked another slice of the pizza and took a bite without giving a reply.

"You're alright?" he asked bringing my eyes from the TV to him and his eyes were silently begging me for the truth even though I couldn't reveal it.

"What do you mean?" I tried to play the dumb game which wasn't my best quality.

"The Quynn I know always had a witty or savage reply for almost anything I said and when she didn't, she would mimic my voice so I think you know what I mean."

Luke wasn't going to ever let it go and for the good of both of us, that was exactly what I needed him to do. So I did the only thing I knew would save him from the mess I was in, I leaned in and my lips closed over his soft and puzzled ones.

I had to admit that it wasn't the best choice, but it was the only one I could think of when Luke had me backed against the wall with his unending interrogation.

Although shocked, he regained himself and he kissed my lips tenderly.

Parts of me that I thought were death awoke to the kiss and the moment felt incredible, way more than I wanted to admit and I needed more.

It had been more than two years since I last kissed someone or been with someone and honestly, it felt too long.

We pulled away and I was trapped between feeling guilt and feeling satisfied. Guilt because what I did might have as well ruined the friendship we had and satisfaction because I have finally put him in a confused state and I was sure that I wouldn't be getting any more questions from him.

"Well, that was intense," Luke admitted as he cleared his throat and adjusted himself a little on the couch.

I covered my face as the guilt overcame the satisfaction and a better feeling settled in my throat. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have kissed you."

He took my cold hands into his, "Never be sorry, especially if it's about kissing me."

"Never be sorry, especially if it's about kissing me." I mimicked his voice and we both burst out laughing.

Flashback ends

Maybe if I didn't take Ade's money seven months ago, everything would have been different and I wouldn't be tortured in a messed up reality now. I wish I had given Luke the chance to love me like he wanted to, maybe things would have been different, but there is no use wishing for something that can never happen. Or hoping to go back in time because that's impossible.

I may never get to rewrite my wrongs with Luke, but at least I can try to keep him safe by doing what I need to here.