(Home)Less Without You

30

TW's:
*Mentions abuse
*Suicide attempt (thoughts)
*Death (CPR)

'GEORGE, stay with me. George, listen to me.' I softly hit his head, but he didn't reply anymore. 'George, can you hear me? Please can you hear me? Squeeze my hand if you hear me.'

Nothing happened, he didn't squeeze my hand, he didn't reply. He did nothing, he was just laying there lifeless, he really seemed dead...

I heard footsteps coming closer, Darryl and Zak ran towards us. The sirens had stopped so I think they arrested George's dad. Zak kneeled down and looked at George in shock.

'What happened?' he yelled.

'H-he- get away. I have to do CPR. I learnt that after my dad died.'

I pushed Darryl and Zak away and rolled George to his back. I made sure he was able to breath, but he wasn't breathing. He wasn't breathing at all. I lifted his chin up, making sure he was able to breath, but he still didn't.

'Is there an ambulance on its way?'

'Yes, I think so.'

'MAKE SURE, you idiot,' I yelled completely stressed out. 'Call again if you THINK so, don't be dumb, idiot.'

'Yeah, of course, I will call again,' Darryl said, he grabbed his phone and started calling.

I softly put my hands on George's chest and I started doing CPR on him. While pushing my hands up and down his chest, I kept looking if he started breathing again or not. I heard Darryl call the ambulance again in the background after a while.

'We need an ambulance, my friend is currently doing CPR on my half dead friend, be quick.'

'Can he hear me? Does he know how to do CPR?'

'I do,' I said out of breath. 'He's not breathing.'

I kept pushing up and down on his chest and he seemed to breath shortly after a few minutes. I kept going, feeling his pulse and listening carefully to his breathing. When I had done minutes more of CPR, I almost started to give up. I would definitely continue, but it didn't feel like he would ever wake up. He laid there, completely still. He didn't breath, he was dying.

'No, please. George, please,' I screamed through my tears. I kept pushing on his chest, I couldn't even see anything anymore because of all the tears in my eyes. I looked at George's face. Completely beaten up, everywhere was blood. I pressed my lips on his cheek and kissed his forehead. 'I'm so sorry. Stay strong, George. I won't let you die. I CAN'T HAVE MY MUM, DAD AND YOU DIE.'

I kept doing CPR and after a while the ambulance arrived. Since we were on top of a building, a helicopter was also called. Just before they started doing CPR on George I quickly and shortly kissed his lips.

'I love you,' I whispered in his ear. 'Don't die, George. Please don't die. I would love to be your boyfriend, please stay here for me. Please.'

I got pushed away and Darryl and Zak got sent away. I stayed on the top of the building, looking over the edge. What was the purpose? I could just do it, I promised George, but he was dying.

I stood up, walking closer to the edge, but I got immediately grabbed by my shoulders.

'Don't, what's your name?' one of the men here asked me.

'Uh- Clay.'

'Are you okay?'

'What the hell do you think? My friend is dying, do you really think I'm over here smiling? NO. I LOST MY MUM AND MY DAD AND NOW MY FREAKING CRUSH. And I didn't even get to say goodbye, they pushed me away. I- I wanted- I-.' I fell on my knees, furiously hitting the ground. 'Why didn't I forgive him immediately, I'm so sorry I didn't forgive him. I could have had him as my boyfriend now, I could have kissed with him and NOW HE IS DYING.'

The man grabbed my hand. 'Calm down, he isn't dead. He might survive this.'

'How can he survive this? He got kicked so much.'

'What happened?'

'His dad beat him up for being gay and- and liking me. And I was mad at him because he made up lies that I sexually assaulted him and- I didn't want to forgive him and I said he would never be my boyfriend and he tried jumping and- now he is dying.'

'I'm so sorry.'

I suddenly heard a woman scream. 'He has no heartbeat at all. He might give up.'

And that's when my world seemed to crush in one hundred pieces.

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