(Home)Less Without You

27

TW's:
*Suicide attempt

'CLAY, COME BACK.'

I turned around furiously with tears streaming down my cheeks.

'What do you want?'

He grabbed my shoulders. 'I love you, please- please don't kill yourself.'

'I have no reason not to.'

'YOU'RE EXACTLY LIKE YOUR DAD.'

'Now you've gone too far.'

'You are like him, Clay. I heard you scream, I heard you scream you hate him because he was selfish and he left you. YOU'RE DOING THE SAME. I love you, I freaking love you and you just want to kill yourself and leave everything behind.'

'You don't love me.'

'I DO, I'm gay, I'm in love with you. I liked the kiss, I wish to kiss you again, I want YOU to be my freaking boyfriend.'

'That's not going to happen.'

'I know, I freaking know, but still. You can't leave me, you will just be the same as your dad-.'

'You've gone too far.'

'Why do you hate your dad?'

'Because he left his sixteen year old son alone.'

'And what do you do when you kill yourself? YOU LEAVE ME BEHIND.'

'You almost killed me by kicking me out. You would care so much, we all believe you.'

'I'm in love with you.'

'No, you aren't. You're probably not even gay and you're just trying to save the situation for yourself.'

'Oh no, I'm just making up the fact I'm gay with all this hate around me.'

'You can't prove me you're gay, so I won't believe you.'

'Why would I lie about being gay?'

'To save your own situation.'

George grabbed my shoulders and looked at me. We kept staring at each other and I saw his cheeks getting a little redder. I completely went back at last time, the time I kissed him. The time I messed up everything I could have messed up. Even though I wanted to kiss him so badly, I absolutely wasn't going to. Whatever he did, I wasn't kissing him. I suddenly saw him leaning in a little and I moved away from him. Now when I promised myself not to kiss him, he wanted to kiss me.

'I don't want to kiss you anymore. Never. You ruined that, whatever you do, I won't kiss you ever again. Get off me, leave me alone.'

'I-. Well thanks for the rejection. Thanks for just basically telling me I'm crazy.'

'You rejected me way harder. Don't reject me and then kiss me after. You screamed at me and you kicked me out, I just moved away. Who is worse here?'

'I want to make it up to you.'

'You can't.'

'Please, Clay. I really love you, please.'

'Sure,' I said. I pushed him away and walked away. I started walking down the stairs, leaving George alone on the roof. I heard footsteps behind me after a while and I look around me. George was walking down, very slowly. He was far away, but I could see tears streaming down his face. He apparently didn't see me and he fell down, sitting on the ground. I saw him pulling up his knees, resting his elbows on them. He hid his face in his hands, crying his eyes out. I could hear him loudly sob.

'Clay, I love you. I really do,' I heard him whispering. 'I just-.' He suddenly stood up and walked back up the stairs. I startled, what was his plan? He walked up more and more until he came on top of the building again.

I stood up and ran after him, it took me a little to get to the last stairs and I came again on top of the building. I looked around me, looking for George and suddenly saw him standing. Standing at the edge of the building.

'No, don't you dare,' I said.

'Why the hell did you come after me after rejecting me?'

'You rejected me too and you came after me too.'

'I don't need you. You didn't care about me either, you wanted to kill yourself and you didn't care about me. Why should I care about you now then? Just leave me alone.'

I slowly walked closer. 'Please, don't.'

'Clay, it's too late. You don't believe me, you don't understand me. I want you, but my dad will kill me if I give in to it. Now I finally gave in to it and you don't want to. You know- I will get killed either way, I can better do it myself right?'

He turned around again, facing the edge. 'Bye, Clay.'

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