What happens now

CHAPTER XXIV

Arizona

I walked out of the on call room right after our conversation. I didn't know what to feel. I felt numb the moment she said she's married, or was married? I couldn't focus, I was confused, and I felt the world swirling around on me.

"Robbins? Are you okay?" Bailey asked.
We were jammed into a case together and I was grateful that she climbed on board with me on this. 
"I'm sorry what was that?" I couldn't think straight, my head was a mess.
"I said, Are you alright?"
"Yeah."
"Don't lie to me."
"Okay fine. I'm not okay."
"Go on."
"My girlfriend is married."
"Wait? Torres? You two tied the knot?"
"No! What I mean is, she's married. Not to me, but to another person."
"So what are you the mistress?"
"She's not cheating on her marriage with me Bailey, well that is kind of the case considering that she's still married. But she left him because he cheated. He didn't send in the divorce papers that's why she's still married." I said as I put my head on my hands.
"What are you gonna do now?"
"I'm still processing everything. I truly didn't expect this to happen, but it's here. And I love Callie and I don't want to lose her but what if, what if she goes back to him? What's gonna happen to me?"
"Robbins, Torres is not going to leave you. I can see it in the way she looks at you and I know she loves you very much. Trust me, you might want to keep her. Don't let that man take her away from you. Did she say who the guy was?"
"The new trauma guy."
"Well no shit. Now that is twisted. I'll leave you to ponder on that. Meanwhile, care to join me? We need to study for this surgery. This is all new to me."
"Sure. I'm right behind you."

We hit the books and we stayed there until we had enough to get us through the procedure. 
"We've been here a while. Wanna grab lunch with me Bailey?"
"Sure. Let me just finish this up a little bit."

We went down to the cafeteria and I was confused when I didn't see Callie anywhere. She was usually big on eating right and never skipping meals. She was a health nut. We sat down at Teddy's table and joined in with the fuzz.

"Have you guys heard about the news?" Teddy initiated.
"What news?" Bailey asked.
"The new trauma guy is out of the market. Turns out he's married. But that was according to the nurses. They saw a wedding ring when he took charts and other papers today."
"Oh yeah about that. He's married to my girlfriend. That confirms it." I said sarcastically.
Teddy spit her drink and looked at me in shock.
"You're kidding right. Wait you're not??"
"Nope. Callie told me right after we got out of the meeting earlier."
"Where's Callie now?"
"I don't know. I haven't seen her since earlier."
"What if they're hook--"
"ALTMAN!" Bailey scolded.
"What? I'm just saying what if--"
"You don't get to talk." Bailey said once more.

I looked down my lap and played with my fingers. I felt someone squeeze my shoulders and I looked up to see Bailey smiling at me.

"Don't listen to your friend here. Why don't you go find Torres? Talk to her."
"Thanks Bailey. Page me when you need anything okay?"
"You go get your girl."

I stood up from my chair and went to look for Callie. I called her phone and she didn't answer. I went to the Ortho floor and looked for her in all of the rooms. I went to the bathroom last and I could hear her in one of the stalls.

"Callie?"
"In-- here."

I opened the stall to see her on the floor breathing like crazy. I dropped down, wrapping my hands around her, and cradled her as she rode out her panic attack.
"Calliope, what happened?"
"It's all so overwhelming Arizona. I feel like everything is falling apart on me. I feel like I'm losing you and I don't want that to happen." She held unto me as she cried.
"Baby, I'm not leaving you okay? I just need time. But I'm not going to leave you." I kissed the top of her head and put my chin on top of it.
"My dad is flying in today. He's going to make sure George is going to sign them and I know my dad. He's going to make the divorce final in a snap. Knowing him, he's probably going to send the papers himself. And I'm very much thankful for that."
"That's a good thing right?"
"IT'S THE BEST! I JUST WANT TO GET THIS OVER WITH!"

I helped her get up and we left the bathroom together. Bailey paged me and I was hesitant to leave Callie.
"You gonna be alright while I'm gone? I'm going in on a surgery with Bailey."
"You go rock that surgery babe. I'll be fine."
"Okay. I'm gonna go now."

xxx

I entered the scrub room to see Bailey already scrubbing.

"So, how did it go?" She asked.
"I think we're going to be fine."
"Good. Now let's do this."

She raised her hands, which was an indication that she was done scrubbing and entered the O.R.
I gripped the sink and took a deep breath before I started scrubbing. I needed to focus on the task at hand and worry about everything later.

The surgery took 6 hours and although the patient crashed a few times, we were able to resuscitate. The patient pulled through and we were hoping the she recovers well and won't need another emergency surgery, as the possibility of that was high.
Bailey and I watched from the glass as our patient woke up and hugged her parents.

"How does it feel Bailey?"
"I feel fantastic. This is my first surgery with a peds patient and I feel like I did good."
"You did great."

She turned her body to face me and opened her mouth to say something.
"Why don't you go home? You've been in a roller coaster of emotions today."
"And by home, you mean at Callie's?"
She nodded.
"I can't go back there. Now with us like this."
"You're going to need each other to get through this bump on the road. But anyways, I'm gonna get going."
"Bye Bailey."

She left and I stood there, admiring the sight of my patient with her parents.

My shift was over and I contemplated on whether I should go to Callie's or to my house. I knew I needed some time alone to think this through but what Bailey said made sense. So out of my judgement, I went over to Callie's.
I stopped on the door and I couldn't bring myself to knock. So instead, I left and shot her a text that I was going to crash in an on call room since I was too exhausted. I went to my house and lazily made myself dinner out of the contents of my fridge. When I tasted what I made, I dumped it in the trash as it was disgusting. 
I sighed and sat on the stool. I just got take out since I was a hopeless case when it came to cooking.
After dinner, I went straight to my room and slept alone on my bed.

xxx

I woke up to a sinking feeling in my stomach. I hated waking up alone and I hated being away from Callie. 
I got out of bed and took a shower. I didn't bother making myself breakfast since it just made me think of Callie. I went to work, sad and unenthusiastic.

"What's up with you?" Mark asked when I got into the lounge.
"Haven't you heard? My girlfriend is married to the new trauma guy and I'm hoping that they're not anymore by today, since it's been only one night and I already miss her."
"Robbins, Callie came into my apartment last night, crying."
That made me look at him.
"Why? What happened?"
"She's such a worry wart when it comes to you. She cried because you didn't come home."
"But I told her I slept here last night."
"Well, she called Teddy since she knew that Teddy usually spends the night here Altman told her that you weren't in the hospital."
"Crap."
"You didn't have to lie you know. You could've told her."
"I know. I just didn't want her to think that I'm never coming home to her. I told her I needed time."
"But still, you should've told her the truth instead of making some crap up."
I sighed and ran my hand through my hair.
"Where is she?"
"Her dad picked her up. He said they were going somewhere."
"Great."
"Callie loves you Robbins. Just in case you're doubting."

He left for his surgery and I went on with my day. I called Callie a few times and texted her but no answer. I was getting restless and just wanted to know where she was and was she coming back soon.
During lunch, I sat with my people and I didn't join in that much. I picked at my food and just wasn't feeling it.
"Is Arizona okay?" I heard Derek ask.
"By the looks of it, she misses Torres." Bailey figured.
"Has anyone heard from Callie?" Teddy asked.
"I was with her this morning. She felt excited about something. Maybe the divorce will be finalized today." Mark said.
"Hopefully. I can't stand perky bubbly Arizona being this down." Derek commented.
"I know. When she's down, everything goes down too. She's that contagious." Said Teddy.
"Will you guys stop talking about me?" I snapped and banged my hand on the table.

I stood up and didn't bother looking back. I took the rest of the day off, emailing the Chief and called in sick. I went to Callie's apartment and waited outside since I forgot my keys to her place at home. I sat outside and stared at the wall in front of me. The next thing I knew, I leaned further into the wall behind me and let my eyes close, in hopes that when I wake up, Callie's back.