"What?" The word ripped out of Ahsoka like a snarl. Her piercing eyes focused solely on the man behind the desk.
Kakashi glanced at her warily, sweat dropping along side the slight panic in his eye, "Ahsoka...Calm down."
She ignored him, not giving him the reassurance to the possibility of her anger subsiding as she glared at the newly reappointed Hokage. Hiruzen looked straight at her, not wavering, if anything...he looked saddened.
"I'm sorry, Ahsoka... but it's the way it has to be," He said, "You both must understand the situation...Naruto can't have any form contact with either of you."
He kept his voice steady, ignoring the everlasting molten gold glare, "It would be suspicious for the students of the Yellow Flash to be seemingly involved in the life of a child that looks suspiciously like him conveniently after his passing. Minato's enemies would not take long in taking him out."
Ahsoka's eyes flared, "We can protect him! Neither of us are weak. We can take out any threat that comes at Naruto!"
"Yes, both of you are incredible talents..." Hiruzen leaned forward, "...But so are many of Minato's enemies...I will not take that chance."
"Then leave him to us!" She threw her hand to the side. Despite the bite in her words they came out calm, as if she didn't need to shout to convey her anger, "We can take care of him. There is no need for us to be worried of someone striking if one of us is always with him," Her head whipped to her right, eyes locking on Kakashi, "Right?"
Kakashi was not one to form bonds easily, he was never one to care too much either...but this- "I'll do anything to ensure Naruto's safety," He said, "I owe it to Minato sensei."
Ahsoka turned back to the Hokage, a hint of desperation in her eyes, but the man only shook his head, "You are both much too young. Not to mention, you will be too busy with your Anbu duties to even be there for the child. And..."
His gaze sharpened, "...Konoha's Fiery Ember and Kakashi of the Sharingan are not without enemies themselves."
Ahsoka stared at the man, mouth agape as the sudden wave of cold defeat crashed down on her anger, after all, there was no point in being angry. It wasn't going to change his mind. Her eyes took on a heart wrenching look as the reality truly sunk in because...he was right.
They would put Naruto at risk if they were a part of his life. And as much as she hated to admit it...the two together might not be enough to protect him.
Kakashi's own face was taut, but his eye was wistful, as if he were holding all of those bottled feeling behind that one dark orb. Feelings he didn't think he'd feel so strongly...but he did, and it ate him up inside.
Hiruzen himself felt his heart ache at the looks directed at him.
"I know you feel like you have to be there to protect him," He began gently, the sincerity of his words displayed in his tired eyes as he looked upon the two, "but this is what's best for Naruto...I truly am sorry."
Words stalled. Ahsoka didn't want to think about it- about the fact that she wouldn't be able to do anything for the child of two people that had been like family- it was frustrating. Frustrating and hurting her beyond belief.
This...it was condemning them to cut all ties with what was left of their sensei and Kushina. It was to disregard that something so precious to the people that had been precious to them...even existed.
And it hurt.
Heavy silence filled the room until Ahsoka looked up, her eyes pleading long before she said the words as she met the Hokage's gaze.
"Can we see him..." She said, hoarsely yet softer than the two had ever heard her speak, "...please?"
Hiruzen hesitated, looking at that held back sorrow, that weight, that plead....His soft sigh interrupted the heavy silence as he finally closed his eyes.
Then there was silence.
The stillness that followed was deafening until Hiruzen's hoarse, low murmur broke through, "There is a nurse shift at the nursery at two am." His eyes were still closed as he spoke, his voice barely audible as he made sure the teens were the only ones that could hear him.
Their faces flickered into shock...and then relief as a certain shine of gratefulness appeared in their softening eyes.
Hiruzen opened his eyes, landing on the two with a piercing, heavy gaze that made no one doubt his post as Hokage, "...Don't let anyone see you."
The two teens nodded as they composed themselves, their faces matching in seriousness as they whispered back, "Hai."
The latch on the window opened silently as the two figures dropped into the hospital hallway, their Anbu boots falling soundlessly on the marble floor.
Moonlight poured in from the courtyard, bathing the place in hues of blues and long shadows as Ahsoka and Kakashi glanced at each other, then at the glass panel across the hallway.
Past their reflections, they were met with aisles of lined up cribs. Orphans, all of them, some of the many left without parents by the Kyuubi- one of them being their sensei's son.
Not wasting any time, Kakashi quickly signaled Ahsoka to the door to his left, "Come on, this way." He whispered.
Small, sharp, clicking sounds broke the silence as Kakashi finished picking the lock and opened the door, carefully keeping the creaking to a minimum as they finally stepped inside.
They were met with the shadowy nursery as their eyes were quick to adjust. The blue hues spilling from the hallway and in through the glass being the only source of light in the room.
Ahsoka took soundless steps as she went for a closer look, Kakashi joining her side...He had to be here- the child- somewhere.
Ahsoka scanned the many rows of cribs until she sucked in a breath, her eyes falling on a head of familiar blonde hair.
Kakashi's eyes widened as he too spotted it...hair so gold it stood out in the darkness...a color that he knew too well...that they both knew too well.
Ahsoka could barely register her slow steps as she walked towards the crib, focusing only on the child as she approached- slowly and carefully.
The aisles of cribs passed by, until Ahsoka was right in front of the one she had been looking for.
Kakashi's throat bobbed, but he too took hesitant steps towards the crib until the two were side by side, peering down at the small, sleeping child.
Pudgy, reddened cheeks, closed eyes, and three whisker marks decorated the tiny, rounded features of the baby's face. Wrapped in a soft, pale yellow blanket, his body was no more than a tight bundle sleeping soundly into the night.
The Third hadn't lied when he said that the child took after their sensei. The golden hair was a dead give away, but there was something in his features...something that was just so Kushina like...
And all of it, all of it...made their hearts drop.
'Naruto...'
Suprisngly, it was Kakashi who moved first, lowering his hand as he gently caressed a knuckle through the blonde's soft cheek as if he himself were in a daze.
Naruto suddenly stirred, making Kakashi pull back quickly with a gasp as the blonde began to wake up.
"Baka! What did you do?!" Ahsoka hissed.
"I don't know!" Kakashi hissed back as Naruto's fuzzing became increasingly louder.
Ahsoka's head snapped to the door as she reached out with her senses for any signs of people. No one yet, but they would surely come if they didn't get the crying under control.
Kakashi stammered, glancing from Ahsoka to back down at the loud child as he waved his hands unsurely, "I-I-"
Ahsoka moved smoothly, turning away from the door and leaning down to gently pick up the crying child.
Kakashi's eyes grew wide as he watched her lift the baby, placing his small head on her right shoulder, "Wha-What are you-" Kakashi was interrupted by Ahsoka's soft, calming shushing sounds as she turned away from the crib.
She had one hand stroking Naruto's head gently while the other held his back firmly as she began pacing with a bounce in her step, "Sh sh sh...It's okay..Shhh"
The dim light illuminated the two from the right as Kakashi contemplated hissing curses at the auburnette who continued moving in a smooth rhythm, her back still to him.
Clad in the gray's and blacks of her casual Anbu uniform, she would have blended in well with the room had it not been for the small head of bright yellow hair on her shoulder who's crying still hadn't stopped.
If he continued any longer he would definitely wake up the rest of the children, some which Kakashi noted had already begun tossing in their sleeps.
And that was when the singing began,
Mother and daughter dance in the field
'Low the hills
Where the wildflowers grow
Soft and warm, like a mother tucking her child into bed... Kakashi knew that voice, though few times had he heard it during their former team's hardest missions...when they all thought they might die the next day as they lied sleeping on the grass or in the cold hard ground of a cave.
It was those nights that Ahsoka kept watch- a small fire keeping them warm as everyone else failed to sleep after the turmoil of the day or the unease of what the next would bring- that her soft voice would sing to them, tucking them into bed in the most unforgiving conditions.
But sometimes, Kakashi would stay up just to listen to her lullabies...he found it better than finally falling victim to his nightmares.
And often...he would catch the others doing the same thing...Rin, Obito, Minato-sensei...It might have been one of the reasons no one objected when she would almost always volunteered to keep watch during those worst days of the war....they were all a little selfish.
Oh sweet child of mine
let your bonny heart run
There'll be trials long before you've grown
The silver haired Hatake tried to be as quiet as possible as he moved slowly, taking a seat at the one small round table in the room. His eyes never leaving his teammate as she waltzed across the nursery in slow, careful steps.
When the sky grows dark
And the air turns cold
Arise, my child be brave.
The flowers may wilt,
The sun may fade,
But time can't take courage away...
It was then that Kakashi realized the meaning behind her words...realized that it wasn't just a randomly picked lullaby...that she sung it specifically for the blonde. Had she made it herself...he didn't know, but those carefully chosen words put knives in his heart.
In just his first day of life, that child had lost so much...and there was nothing the two of them could do about it except be for him in this one moment.
Mother and daughter wander the fields
'Low the hills
Where the wild flowers grow
Naruto's head laid on Ahsoka's shoulder. His crying had long since stopped since the first notes of the auburnette's lullaby filled the room, seemigly calming him down as if he too had stopped to listen. Surely enough, the rest of the children had gone to bed.
But Kakashi watched as the child's eyes stared at nothing in particular, open and blinking randomly...But that wasn't what caught the teen's attention, it was the color, a color just as familiar as the color of his hair.
Oh daughter your proud heart
Is fierce to behold
But remember we reap what we sow
He had bright blue eyes, just like his father....just like Minato-sensei.
Many times had Kakashi looked into those eyes and found a calculating, sharp gaze. Other times he had found icy, cold rage boiling just beneath. But most times...he found peace.
A peace that had glued the team together, even if it was by a thread.
When the sky grows dark
And the air turns cold
Arise, my child be brave
A team...it felt like so long ago they were a team...so long since all five of them went out into the world, fighting, watching each others backs...or at least most of them did.
The flowers may wilt
Guilt...the guilt and the regrets were always the worst of his torments every night. And they came hand in hand. He regretted acting like he did...like they didn't matter to him...that was when the guilt came to play.
The sun may set
The other four were the ones that cared...no, the ones that understood how important each member of the team was...and he had the audacity to be the one still alive.
The sudden burning sensation in the corners of Kakashi's eyes didn't come as a surprise to him as he clenched his shaking fists on the table.
His father, Obito, Rin, and now Minato-sensei and Kushina.
How many more? How many more until it was his turn? They had all died. When would it be his turn?
His lip quivered the slightest bit beneath his dark blue mask. It was all crashing down on him at once. He just couldn't keep it in anymore, not as his eyes were fixed on the wood of the smooth table, tears threatening to splatter on its surface.
But time can't take courage away
That was when Kakashi focused his gaze up ahead, and he felt his eyes slowly widen. A realization suddenly dawning on him.
No...he wasn't the last one.
Ahsoka's hair swayed along with her as she continued pacing, the blue light dimming its warm color as Kakashi's eyes stayed glued to her. The sudden realization forming a knot in his chest... ...there was still one more person with him.
The burning sensation in his eyes could only hold for so long.
Never, not even his most hellish nightmares did Kakashi think would become real, but part of them had. All of the people he cared about were dead, except for one.
Ahsoka...she was still here.
After all that had happened...had the world taken an ounce of pity on him and left him with a single source of light? Or was there more torment prepared for him? Did the world plan to continue to make his life miserable?
Tears brimmed his eyes as he watched her, that one speckle of hope. Despite her singing, the sadness was clear in her tone, only becoming more evident as her swaying came to a stop, looking beyond the glass panel, but her singing continued- if anything, her voice turned graver, softer.
Mother and daughter sleep in the field
'Low the hills
Where the wild flowers grow
There was none of her usual boldness, none of that swagger. There was just...her. Raw and vulnerable. That was when Kakashi's throat tightened, for the first time noticing the shimmer of tears in the corner of her eyes as her eyes stared at the moonlight.
Winter has come on the edge of their steel
And blood falls like tears on the snow
Ahsoka's eyes flickered closed, the tears finally running free. Kakashi's own did too, his own almost sobs catching in his throat as he gritted his teeth. He watched as Ahsoka's brows furrowed, burying her cheek into the softness that was Naruto.
Pained- that's what she looked like- pained.
Her tears left stains on the smooth yellow blanket as they continued to fall, forgetting- or just not caring- that Kakashi was sitting there, watching as the same wave of sadness that he felt crash down on to her as well.
When the sky grows dark
And the air grows cold
Arise, my child be brave
She snuggled closer to the child, holding him tighter as his heavy eyes began to close. The mask finally breaking apart in front of Kakashi's eyes.
The flowers may wilt
The sun may fade
Yes...that mask. Kakashi himself was the one that wore a physical one...but she wore one better. Putting on a smile for the rest, a laugh, that people barely questioned anymore. It had already been two years since Rin's death and one could so easily mistake her for being fine, having moved on just like a proper shinobi should.
But he knew better than that, the proof of that mask falling was right in front of him. The same question he had asked himself a million times echoed in his brain....Why him?
He avoided people, only focused on missions, and he was an emotional wreck, he couldn't help her, he had nothing to offer...so why him? Why would she only show this side to him? Why put that burden on him?
Kakashi caught himself, casting his eyes down at the table. A burden? No. She could never be a burden, not to him.
She was...she was...
He loosened a breath, wet eyes staring back up at her to see her elegant profile. Her head tilted as she kept her tear stained cheek pressed against Naruto.
And a feeling came over Kakashi. A welling pressure in his chest.
The truth was...he didn't know what she was...He only knew that she was there, and that she despite all the hurt she had faced, she kept moving forward, even if she was just as tired of death as he was.
From where she found the strength to do so...Kakashi didn't know. The only thing that was clear to him- about anything that he felt- was that...he relied on her.
And that maybe...just maybe, that light could reach that dark corner of him as well.
And with that small bit of hope, Kakashi's tearful eyes stayed glued on Ahsoka as she cradled the child, holding him close to her as her voice became softer and more labored, struggling through her tears.
But time can't take courage away
No, time can't take courage away
The moonlight shimmered off Ahsoka's light auburn hair as her eyes remained closed, her voice finally breaking.
Time can't take
courage...away...
Silence followed, the only sound being the deep, slow breathing from the blonde now laying fast asleep on Ahsoka's shoulder as her cheek stayed pressed against the small child, holding him tight.
That was when the Aoyama's head snapped to the door- making Kakashi sit up straight- the heaviness in her eyes disappearing as it was replaced by alarm.
"We have to go." She said stiffly, taking quick and measured steps back towards the empty crib as quietly as possible, placing the sleeping child down
Then Kakashi heard it as he stood up- footsteps coming their way. He turned to Ahsoka, who was giving the child one last look.
"Let's go." Was all he said.
The heels of the nurses shoes clicked on the marble floor as she approached the door bathed in the blue moonlight. The keys jangling with her every step.
She quickly reached the door, immediately fumbling with the loud keys until she finally heard it unlock. Creaking it open, the nurse stepped inside, head moving from side to side as she scanned the peaceful room of sleeping babies.
Not a thing out of place.
"Hello?" She called out into the dimly lit room, but there was no response.
Not a sound was made as two shadows seemed to materialize on top of the Konoha Hospital roof. The clear night sky stretching endlessly over a destroyed Konoha. Thankfully the hospital had been one of the few places the fox had not wrecked havoc upon.
Kakashi turned his head over to his right where Ahsoka stood, gazing out at the sleeping village. Her face set in a distant expression- If she could sense his eyes on her, she didn't show it.
The thick silence continued- but it wasn't an awkward one- it was one of mourning, reflection. There were so many words to say....but they stayed silent. No words were truly needed. It was all said back in the nursery. A mutual understanding that they were alone.
Ahsoka finally turned to him. Her heavy honey-colored eyes meeting his onyx one which matched her own expression. And then, he saw the weakest upturn of her lip as her tired eyes stayed on his.
Yes they were alone, but they were alone together.
And that, despite every hurting part of Kakashi's soul, brought him some comfort.
A/N: I am a person of very few talents and music...is not one of them. So this is not my song.
The song is " A Song of Adarlan" by Victoria Carbol from the Bookish Songs playlist. And I tried not to make it too cringy lmao.
It is based off one of my favorite book series "Throne of Glass" (Though personally I like "A Court of Thorns and Roses" better) by Sarah J Maas.
It is a very pretty song and I really recommend listening to it. Maybe if you want to go the extra mile even rereading the scene with the music. It gives it a certain *je'ne se quoi*
It also fits very nicely with how I imagined Ahsoka's singing voice to be like. I also picked this song because the lycris kind of reminded me of how Naruto's life will be like...maybe you guys get what I'm saying.
Though it will be in rare occurrences, I will be using more songs (again not mine since I can't write music). Some of them you might know others you won't, but hopefully you enjoy them either way.
***Next update will be March 3rd-9th-ish
PS. I recently released my Tag Book to celebrate 10k!! So if you wanna know more a little more about me go check it out.