The party was dying down, my drunken haze was starting to clear and I was ready to go home.
Lucas hadn't left yet, I know this because I saw him earlier outside with the guys drinking. Was I waiting on him to return to me?
Oh, for heaven's sake, I wasn't!
And, if I would like to lie some more, I would even say that when Oscar and Sally arrive I wasn't a bit moved by irritation when I saw them.
Madi, Levi, and I had decided to keep our distance from where ever Sally's presence was concerned. That resulted in us sticking closer to the backdoor of the house, which-by coincidence- gives us a view of the Bad Crew.
"I can't believe you actually came as Aladdin," I said to Levi, who looked down at his Aladdin's outfit and break out into a smile.
I always pictured Levi as a cute person, but tonight, he had open my eyes to a very mature content of him. He wasn't just cute, but really sexy and the Aladdin suit that he had on made it even visible.
"Weren't you going to come as Black Panther?" I continued, trying to stop my eyes from wandering over to his bare chest.
It was definitely the alcohol making me this way, but you have to see what I am seeing right now.
Levi looked like a freaking calendar model. He had on red joggers, but absolutely no shirt. Just a blazer embroidered in gold and oil coating over his chest.
He looked like Mr. December.
Like a firefighter with water glistening on his body.
Like a-
"Did you see how tight your balls get when you wore it?" Madi's voice cut my lusty haze and I choke on hearing what she said.
Levi laughed- his full throaty laugh and shook his head. " No, I didn't buy it. I decided to go with this. I hope Raine doesn't mind me accompanying her" he looked over at me and I just blinked at him.
"Raine?" Madi bumped her shoulder to mines. I shook my head.
"No, no. Of course not. It's cool" I cleared my throat and pry my eyes from looking at Levi like some predator.
I sipped on my drink looking around the party to see how it was still fully packed. I wasn't sure what time it was, but I know it had to be after 11. I should be heading home now, I think. There was a glass wall behind us and I glanced over to see Lucas, now standing and chatting with Sally.
I furrowed my brow wondering what they could possibly be talking about. Weren't they on bad terms right now?
She was smiling at him and he wasn't even doing anything to stop her from laying her hand on him.
I pushed the sliding door open, my feet taking me over to where they were standing before I can really digest what I was doing.
Impulse.
Yes, that's what it was.
Sally spotted me first, her eyes shining in disgust at me as she smirk.
"Oh hi, slut" she waved and I looked at her and then Lucas. He turned to face me, but his actions looked as if he was bored. He raised his drink and took a sip. His eyes still resting on me.
"Not everyone can be like you" I retorted. My words were a bit slower than I would like. I was angry. Why were they talking to each other?
"You're right. So, right" she said as she walked closer to me. "Matter of fact, no one can take my position no matter how much they try" she whispered down at me.
I hated that I didn't had on heels right now.
"And what is that? A Prostitute?" I grated. Sally smiled, stepping back and then looking over her shoulder. Lucas was just standing there, drinking the fight in. He wasn't even moving to my defense.
I felt the first pang shot through my heart.
"I must admit" Sally's voice pulled me from looking at Lucas to see her staring at me with some look of win. "I was insecure, but now I know. You were nothing but a toy to him. He was just using you. You think you know him, but you will never know him the way I do. I'm his peace. You're just a thing that will pass away"
The other pangs came as Sally delivered her blows. Every word sunk into my skin and I absorb it. My body asking me what I wanted to do with it now.
Make me stronger?
Or, let it break me?
I open my mouth to respond, but the sight of Lucas walking forward made a shimmer of hope flash through me. He must have heard her and was now coming to set her straight. I knew he wouldn't just stand there and let her do me like that. However, when the frown that I was use to seeing during the days he bullied me came, I frowned in return and stepped back.
"Raine, go home," he said. There he goes again.
Putting me on the highest cloud just to shoot me down again.
Why did I always let him do that?
I looked at Sally who was smirking and Lucas who was just staring at me.
"Are you serious?" I kept blinking, hoping that not one of those punk-ass tears would drop. "You would just -" I couldn't even finish the sentence.
"Do what?" Lucas stepped forward, his face hardening and I stepped back again. I chance a look at Flint seeing his eyes held with amusement and then to Matt who stood with a frown on his face. I looked back to Lucas approaching me and took another step back, this time I felt something come up behind me.
I quickly look back to see Levi standing there. His chest puffed up and his face as hard as stone. "Raine" Lucas warned, but this time his eyes were on Levi.
I realized then, that I don't get him and I never will. That no matter, how many times I thought I was getting a piece of him, I wasn't. It was just a game. That's all it was from the start and I was foolish to ever think that it stopped.
I masked every bit of hurt in my face, even though I can feel it bursting through my armor like a light pouring through a crack of rocks in a cave, and stepped to the side wrapping my hand into Levi's. I silently gasp how quickly he grasp my hand in return and tightened. At least I knew someone was there for me. That someone was there to hold me up.
I gave Lucas one last look before I held up my middle finger and told him to go eff himself.
Like a madwoman, I span on my heels not missing Lucas's nostril-flaring as he looked down to where my hand was joined with Levi's. I didn't wait for him to say anything.
If we were still playing the game, then I was now in.
~~~
I thought my night was over and done with.
I was way past my curfew and I was way too exhausted to fret.
Madi and Levi decided that before they would drop me home, we should go for ice cream and I complied.
I would be in trouble with my mother anyway, might as well enjoy the road to it.
I texted her I was fine and she sent back a clock emoji.
Caring.
I listen to Madi complain the whole ride about Lucas' behavior, but I knew she was only like this because she was drunk as well and that she didn't have a point.
Lucas and I weren't a couple and the more I got that in my head, the more I won't be doing dumb stuff like tonight.
"Call you tomorrow" she squealed as Levi just said goodnight. He wasn't drunk, obviously. He was our designated driver. When he arrived, Madi decided to tag him as the DD and got completely wasted.
I would like to think that she got that way because Flint had also ignored her the rest of the night, but she was still the smart one. She didn't go and confront him for talking to another girl.
I furrowed my brows as I realized that my mother and Jus cars weren't even there. Walking inside the house, I switched on the lights all the way to my room as I wrote a text to both of them.
Me: I'm glad to know you both won't say when you're going out, but I have to give updates.
Mother: I'm by Callie. Will come home in a few. Don't question me.
JusPus: You're not my mother!
I sent a thumbs-up emoji to my mother and a middle finger to Jus.
I entered my room, switching on the lights only to have a scare when I see Lucas sitting on my bed holding a piece of paper.
"You drew this?" he asked, showing me the sketch I made with him sleeping.
Unfortunately, I wasn't going to do the dance with him. Instead, I release a huff before folding my arms and glare at him.
"What are you doing in my room?"
Lucas looked up at me with a confused face. "What am I not allowed in here now"
"No. No, the hell you are not. Why don't you go to Sally's room"
He sighed, standing up and putting the drawing on my desk.
"Raine, you don't understand"
"I am so sick and tired of you telling me that. Am I too slow to understand? Or, you don't see me worth knowing?" I stepped back when he stepped towards me.
"No. I just don't want you in my-"
"Mess" I raised my arms in exhaustion with the word. "I am tired of hearing that too." I pointed out.
Lucas didn't say anything. He just had his jaw clenched.
I shook my head, "You know what I don't even know why I am angry because it's not like we're a couple or anything. You don't even like me. So, nothing should really matter, right" I walked past him, reaching for my dresser to get my bonnet.
"You're correct. We are not dating" he answered and I froze, tying my bandana on my head.
Why did that hurt? This was information I knew.
I recovered, resuming to tying my hair down without looking back.
"I don't want you here," I said, not looking in the mirror. I didn't want to see him.
"I want you to stop hanging out with Levi" I furrowed my brows. Was he serious right now?
I span around to see him staring at me intensely.
"You don't have rights to tell me what I should and shouldn't do" I spoke slowly just in case he really was missing a few screws in the noggin.
"Little One, I am not asking you this. I don't like the vibes I feel from him" he stepped forward. I laughed.
"No," I said between my laughter. The audacity of him asking me to stay away from someone was funny. "You're just being jealous." I span around to my mirror, busying myself by taking off my jewelry.
I have seen the way Lucas carries on when he sees Levi and me together, but it was a long shot to call him jealous, especially when he never admitted to liking me. He probably was just territorial.
Yes, he was that.
"And, so what if I am," he said. Those words had me spinning around and looking at him with wide eyes.
This crazy mother looker said what?
"Yo-you're not, because that would mean you like me and you- you don't" I stuttered. Lucas groaned, stepping closer to me.
Was this another play in his game?
"Are you dense or something?" he asked, his body covering mine. I shoved him back. I was already confused about what he was trying to say, I didn't need his presence to distract me even more.
"If you are true to yourself, speak your heart, because I am not playing with you anymore," I told him, the words he had quoted in one of our conversations. It was something he said his mother used to quote when he was younger to tell him say the truth or what was on his heart. The last part I added on because I needed him to know that saying those words was not cool. If was playing a game, then he should leave out those emotional triggers because that was just cruel.
"I like you, Raine," he said the words slow. His face scrunching up as if he didn't like how it tasted. Like it pained him. "It's just I know I can't be with you right now. When I say I can't have you in my mess, I mean that. I am not playing a game with you" he scrunched his face tighter.
"But, Sally can be?"
Sorry, I guess the green monster hadn't died yet.
Lucas stepped closer, "Raine, Sally, and I have no ties. At least no ties that I have formed. It's deeper than what you see, but I promise you I don't like her that way"
"Have you slept with her?"
Damn, girl.
Lucas faces scrunched up again, "Hell no." I frowned.
"That's hard to believe" I mumbled. Lucas cupped my cheek.
"I know, but I have never touched her in a romantic way. You see, I- we are involved with something that's bigger than us and I can't really tell you about it because then you'll know too much and I don't want you hurt. I never really planned to even like you, but you have this annoying way of butting into places that you shouldn't be in. You caught my attention and I would never do anything to hurt you. You have to know that. So, please when I tell you that I don't want you getting into my mess, please listen to me"
I stared at Lucas as I listen to his words. I can see the honesty filling his eyes and I couldn't help but notice they were completely different from the ones that I saw earlier tonight. They were kind and sincere, not vacant and cold.
"You like me?" I whispered and he rolled his eyes.
"Was that all you got?" he smirked and I smiled a little.
"No, I got everything and I have to digest that before I actually move on, but I can take the fact that you liking me right now," I told him.
He laughed before he leaned down. The softness of his lips had me melting immediately. I reached my hands up to wrap around his neck as he pulled me closer.
In that kiss, I knew immediately that Lucas had sent me crazy. He was sending me out of my damn mind and I was smiling being thrown headfirst into the chaos.
The little person in my mind was damn near throwing boulders with red flags painted on them. Flashing red lights were blinking behind my eyes, but I was shutting it out because Lucas has just played his hand, and he won royally.