"I should just go as a nurse or something"Madi grumbled as she picked up the nurse costume that look way too small for her.
It was Friday now and the last day before Halloween.
It was also the day that we decided it was a good idea to go shopping for Halloween Costumes.
It was the worst thing to ever do.
Firstly, all of the good Halloween costumes were already gone, and even if we find one that was manageable finding our size was another factor.
My school was known for having spearheaders who host a selective amount of parties throughout the school year. Lizzie Allan holds the opening party, Sally's hold her birthday party and for Halloween it was Jordane.
She was born on Halloween night and took the day as seriously as Christians took the birth of Jesus on Christmas.
For us, however, it was just another event we get to dress up for, drink until we're numb, and have a grand time of our lives.
"They don't even have a nurse costume my size" she whined and then flung what appears to be a huge banana costume on the side.
I have no doubt on why that is still in the store.
"Maybe we can just wear something from home?" I suggested and she span around giving me a death glare.
"I am not wearing something that people have already seen me in" she snapped.
I rolled my eyes "Do you think people really keep a record of who was who the year before?"
She blinked at me, "Yes. Yes, they do" with that she spun around, bending forward to pick up another costume.
I frowned, turning back to the shelves I was looking for, and picked up a Jasmine's costume. Hmm.
I can work with that.
"Maybe you can go as Catwoman," I suggested. It was an easy costume to get. She just needed a black onesie and black tights and some ears. I looked over to find a size for me.
Please have a large, please have a large.
"Yo, I can pull of Wakanda right?" Levi shouted from the back of the store and I laughed.
"You mean Black Panther?" Madi asked, rolling her eyes.
Levi walked over to our aisle holding a Black panther suit and raise it up. "What do you think?" he asked.
I nodded in approval the same time Madi gave a verbal answer, "I think it's good, but are you really interested in your balls being constricted" she asked.
My mouth fell open as I looked over at her.
"Madi"
"What? The suit is tight!" she pointed over to Levi, who just rolled his eyes.
"I'll get a bigger size," he said before walking off.
"It's still going to squeeze your balls!" Madi shouted over the store and I ducked in embarrassment. I picked up a costume and threw it at her.
"What?" she asked.
"What is wrong with your mouth, girl?" I laughed and she joined in with me.
I found the right size for my costume, but as I reached forward I saw a Thing One and Two Costume. The flashback of last year's Halloween came to mind. Madi, Oscar, and I went as Thing One, Two, and Three. We bought an extra costume and made the two into three.
It was so fun, because we bought the hair and even painted our faces with stripes.
A frown quickly covered my face as the memory faded away into reality.
We weren't inseparable anymore.
Oscar was completely different now.
After his visit a week ago, he still remained silent towards me and I didn't mind. He didn't have the right to throw jeers at me about who I may or may not like when he was dating Sally.
They laid it heavy in the hallways with their PDA, all the while Oscar still remain mum with Madi and me.
Sometimes watching them made me feel sad. That my best friend-ex best friend was probably happy and I couldn't share it with him because he made it impossible for me to. Sometimes watching them made me feel angry because he developed into everything that he said he hated.
I tried to not watch them at all.
"Jasmine, huh?" Levi said as he stood beside me. I didn't even feel him come near.
"Yeah, the only thing my size" I joked, lifting it up in the air and then tucking it under my arm.
"A whole new world" he quoted and I raised a brow at him. He just shook his head. "My little cousin forced me to watch it with her every single time we visit. I, eventually stopped going to when I found out"
I laughed. "I feel like you're secretly into it" I bumped his shoulder and he laughed.
"If I had to admit, it is a good movie"
"See!" I pointed out and he just laughed.
"Okay, I'm just going to go as a ghost or something" Madi mumbled coming over to us. We both looked at her, seeing her frowned.
"I have a black leotard home if you're still interested in Catwoman," I told her as she started walking out of the store. I couldn't let her go because this was actually the 7th store we had come to and I was tired.
She spun around, her hand going on her chin in thought. "I did see some ears" she bit her lip and then walked back into the store.
Levi and I let out a sigh of relief and when realizing that we did the same thing burst out laughing.
~~~
When I arrived home from the gruesome task of shopping with Madi, I was beyond tired. I knew that I wouldn't be able to do any kind of homework or any of my Friday night routine without at least an hour's nap.
I trekked towards the kitchen to get a cool glass of water, freezing in my spot when I saw my mother sitting at the dining table with papers spread all around her.
"Hi mom," I said, looking back through the glass window by our door. Was I that tired that I just passed her car?
"Hi, baby" she greeted, flashing a bright smile my way before looking back to her work. I walked closer to the table, glancing down at the amount of files she had all over the area.
"Wow, you're gonna have a great weekend!" I sarcastically said. She glanced up at me before flipping over some of the papers and some pictures.
"Want to join?" she asked sarcastically because she knew her daughter did not do well with doing her kind of work.
"Mom, I got your looks, not your brain" I reached for a paper trying to decipher what it means, but all I saw was laundering and exhortation.
"Big case, I see"I put the file down and looked at her, she was staring at me weirdly.
"How have you been, Raine?" she asked instead.
Shoots.
My mother and I were close.
Not just 'we talk every day close', but 'she knew me better than I knew myself' close.
She was the one that saw through me when I was hiding my first menstrual cycle. Yes, I was one of those kids that was embarrassed by it because I wasn't sure what was happening with my body.
Like come on, one moment I was fine and then next I was having unexplainable pain and then I'm leaking blood.
That would freak out any girl.
My mother did sit down and talked to me about it, but nothing really prepares you for the experience.
She also knew when I started to have an interest in guys. Not sure what tipped that off, but she immediately came and sit me down. She started going on and on about things that I didn't even think about that I can do with a guy.
I was just going to kiss them and that was it. I was not aware of the so much touching and feeling that can come along with that afterward.
Awkward.
"I've been good," I told her, moving my eyes down at the file by my fingertips. The less she saw my eyes the less she would know.
She hummed. I chance a glance at her to see her staring at me intently.
"What, Mom" I looked back down.
"Have you been good because of the Macaughlin boy?" she asked. I felt my heart dropped and then sped up.
Crap, she knows.
Lucas didn't take my offer in sleeping by my home, but over the course of the week, he did make time to stop by my room.
The total of times we did the deed, was two.
The second time, Lucas had on soft joggers and I had on a big t-shirt and cotton panties.
Fricken epic.
I have been very careful to make sure that I wasn't loud and that when he came my mother wouldn't be suspicious when my room door was locked.
Those times that Lucas would come over were different than seeing him in school. He wasn't a Bad Crew member when he sat on my bed and we talked about everything.
We spoke about our favorite things like colors- mines being blue and his being black. Our favorite movies- I had too many to count and his was Fight Club, favorite food- Seafood and his Lasagna. We went into childhood stories like when I first broke my leg because I was running from a dog Justus had provoked and he told me how he and his dad had built a treehouse that he lived in at one of their houses.
He told me that he was the only child and he sometimes wonder what it would be like to have a sibling. I told him that it really wasn't all that it was cut out to be. I was joking because I didn't want him to feel lonely.
He asked about how Madi and I became friends and I in return asked him how he got with Flint and Matt(Sally being left out for obvious reasons, of course). He said that Flint was his Dad's best friend son, who he just grew up with and became close and that Matt and him actually fought before becoming friends.
We spoke about everything and I soaked in all of that which was Lucas Macaughlin, but what I noticed was the pieces that he left behind.
The huge pieces that would make up the picture, he had hid behind his back.
Pieces like his mother and where did he went for that year. He left out the pieces of why his father wasn't the same father that he spoke so fondly of. Why did he move around so much? What was the training for? The explosion?
He left those out, but I wasn't going to pry into his life any further. At least not right now.
He deserves to be comfortable and if he trusted me enough, he would go ahead and share them.
I force a nervous chuckle, because really what else do you do when you are caught red-handed and still trying to avoid facing the truth.
"Mom, what are you even talking about right now?" I walked passed her because having her brown eyes on me--staring at me, was making me sweat.
She got up-like the prying, annoying mother she can be-and followed me into the kitchen.
"Well, I noticed him here a few times before you got home from school. He told me that you guys have been hanging out. I assume you would have told me that little information"
My eyes bulged out as I sipped on a glass of water turned away from her.
What?
Lucas spoke with my mother?
He told her that we have been hanging out?
I gulped the water down, nearly choking in the process, and span around to her, "Well, we have" swallow, avoid eyes, "just for a school project", shakes head, "it's nothing really. We aren't close"
Lies.
Lies.
Lies.
My mother nodded before coming closer to me, her eyes more sharper than before. "So, why are you so flustered?"
Lying wasn't my best trait. I often got caught in the act way more than I would like. However, I still always try to give it a go.
Call it insanity, I call it consistency.
This moment called for me to suck it up and lie like never before.
I wasn't sure why I was even doing it anyway. My mother never had a problem with any of my guy friends, but then again, it was only Oscar and he was only that, a friend. We didn't do the naughty things that Lucas and I did. I didn't have a reason to be flustered in front of my mother.
"Because I just came from shopping with Madi and it was hot outside"
Mission failed.
I saw my mother's brow raised and I knew she had found the loophole.
Madi was a difficult person to shop with and I always vented how I hated the task. However, the weather outside was far from hot. It was a whopping 70 degrees out there!
Fahrenheit!
"Ok!" I snapped, frowning as my mother's brows raised even higher into the air.
"We have been hanging out, but that's it nothing else" I waved my hands frantically in the air. My mother stare at me for a while, her eyes running over my body before she hung her head down.
What the hell was she thinking?
"Raine, Lucas is a good kid. You're a good kid, too" she started speaking as her eyes rise to meet mines. My heart thumped loudly. I was waiting for the but.
"But?" I asked.
She bit her lip, a habit I inherited, "And, you're going to do things good kids do. I just want you to be a bit more careful" she sighed.
"You don't have to worry. We haven't done the deed or anything like that. I swear" I told her, hoping that she would believe me. Her eyes widened and I wondered if my confession was a good thing.
"I-I, I wasn't thinking about that, but now that you said it, h-have you done it?" she asked quickly.
I span around, walking away feeling her on my heels. "No mom, weren't you listening. We have just been hanging out" I need to make it to my room. I need to get in there and closed the door.
"Raine Packer, I promise you if you are out there doing that- that thing, you need to be smarter-"
"Mom, I am not having sex!" I screamed. Justus made an appearance the same time I said the word and turned around to go back into his room.
I groaned.
"Do you remember our talk?" she kept going. "How I told you about protection? And, remember waiting is even better! Marriage is a key time to start!" she followed me into my room. I was trying to close the door, but the woman was quick to slide in before I can.
"Yes, mom I remembered. I won't do it until marriage and if I just happen to slip up, protection, protection, protection. You can not be a grandmother" I rolled my eyes, repeating her words to me.
My mother groaned, slamming herself onto the bed. "I can't believe you're going down that path already. I thought I had at least a few more years. I mean I knew Justus wasn't going to last as long, but my baby-" she looked up at me with big eyes. "You're still my precious baby and I don't want you to grow up yet"
Apparently, every word I was saying was just flying over her head right now.
I walked over, rolling my eyes as she reached out to gather me on her lap. "What were you even talking about at first?" I try to change the topic. I really wasn't in the mood to deal with an unnecessary emotional mother.
"Oh, I just was saying that he's a good kid, but he's going through some rough times right now" I turned to look at her.
"What do you mean?" I wanted to ask her if she knew about the abuse too, but I promise Lucas that I won't tell anyone about it and my mother was included.
"Well, I'm working on a case --that is confidential of course, but I noticed his name, and then I saw him a few times here and figured you guys were friends. I just know that sometimes hurt people- hurt people and I wanted you to be safe around him or just really understand where he's coming from"
I slid off her lap, deciding to sit adjacent to her.
I had no idea that Lucas's case with his dad was already in legal hands.
Was it the reason why he didn't want me to interfere? Because it already had so many technical things going on already.
"Raine, I am not saying that you can't be friends with the boy anymore. I am just saying that you should be more aware" my mother tried to explain as she grasp my hand.
I was still stuck on what Lucas might be going through.
Although we may have talked and actually bonded over the course of a week, we still never venture into his home life.
There were so many questions that I wanted to ask him. So many answers that I needed him to give me, but I knew that he would have closed in on me. That he would revert to telling me to stay out of his business.
So, no matter how bad I wanted to know if the rumors were true about his family, or what really happened with the boy that night. Or, even what happened to the park, I stuffed it down every time we talked.
Even during lunchtime when Flint, Matt and he would come to sit at our table and we would have a small moment to ourselves where he would be chomping on my veggies and I thought it was the opportune time to ask him about it, I didn't.
Perhaps, I was just pushing away his flaws so that it won't mess with my fantasy about him. Or, that I held just a tad bit of fear of actually knowing.
Either way, I was still trekking head on first with no safety helmet with Lucas and that was scary. My mother warding me off should have raised more flags, but I was even more intrigued than ever.
Too bad, it was just adding onto more questions that I still couldn't ask him.
Author's Note:
This book was in my drafts way before Chadwick Boseman died.
I am truly a fan of his work and Black Panther is one of my favorite films ever. I hope he continue you to Rest In Paradise!