I have never actually went through a break-up. You know the ones that you feel like you can't eat and you toss and turn all night in your sleep ones?
Those kinds.
My first boyfriend was Oscar and that wasn't even a real relationship. We only dated for a fraction of 2 weeks before we realized that we weren't really that compatible.
Even when we broke up then, I didn't experience those kinds of symptoms because Oscar was still there. We were still friends. Now, I was actually dealing with what it was to lose someone you love.
The day we ambush Oscar, Madi and I literally left in tears.
Twelve years of closed friendship broken as we left his house. We couldn't even talk to one another. We weren't even sure what to say to one another.
Oscar is our third piece. He's a part of our make up of flesh and blood and having him ripped away from us was painful. Even though we saw him in the hallways, it felt like he had gone. Passed away.
I couldn't stop thinking about what I should have done differently to keep our friendship because I couldn't help but believe that this was all my fault.
That if I hadn't stared into Lucas' window then I wouldn't have been on his radar to bully. That I wouldn't have cause the fight and then that wouldn't have ended my friendship.
I hated losing people.
When my dad left abruptly it was enough to give me a serious issue with people suddenly leaving. I got paranoid with my mother and brother disappearing from my sight. I always clung a bit more than I should and it took years for me to actually let up.
My therapist said that I was progressing beautifully. Too bad, I often relapse tragically.
I walked over to Madi's car and leaned on it, waiting for her to come to the vehicle. She had to stay after class to talk to her teacher for some after credits.
I watched the student body milled about, thinking how in less than 9 months we would be graduating and so much has already changed.
"You're deep in thought" his raspy voice came out from on the side of me making me jump.
"Lucas" I span around to see him standing there with his hands in his pocket. "Aren' you suspended?' I asked watching him roam his eyes over me. I wasn't sure if he was checking me out or making sure if I was really in front of him.
"Yes, I am, but I have to come here to actually talk to you considering you locked me out"
He's talking about the fact that after school, I practically run in my house and have made it a permanent thing to have my window locked.
"Yes, you told me to stay out of your way" I threw his words back at him. He smiled, nodding.
"You're smart" He stepped back assessing me with his thumb rubbing along his bottom lip.
"Are you going to tell me why you and Oscar fought again?" I raised a brow and he dropped his hand before looking away. "Lucas?"
"So, you're not that smart?" he looked back at me with his brows raised.
I felt my blood boil. "No, I am not apparently, because every time you give me a reason to cut you out of my life, I still find myself talking to you." I folded my arms and turned away from him. Keeping my eyes on the school in search of Madi to magically pop out of it.
I felt his presence come closer to me, but I still didn't look over at him.
"Playboy said something that he had no rights in saying. So, I taught him and his friends how they should watch what they say." I looked over at him and he stepped back. "Albeit, I am not happy with the procedure. I should have been more thorough" He stared back at me with a squint.
"What did he say?" I breathed out and his face harden.
"That's none of your business" he snapped, causing me to inhale sharply.
"Then, what is my business?"
"You just can't take some of it and shut the hell up. You always have to pry deeper, huh?" he argued and I felt my nose flare.
"Yes, especially when it has something to do with my friend" I screamed at him, stepping up to his face.
"Too bad, Playboy isn't your friend anymore," he smirked and my mouth pinned shut as I stare at him.
He was right.
But, that didn't mean it didn't hurt to hear the truth out loud.
I stepped back from him, my arms coming back across my body again.
"Is that what you came here for? To bully me?" I asked. My voice was small and I didn't think he heard me.
"No, I came here because I wanted to see you. This was my only option" he licked his lips and then sighed. "I am not apologizing to him again," he told me and I nodded.
"Fine"
Our conversation was cut when Madi came to the car, her brows bunched up on her forehead.
"Hi," she said, slowly as she looked at Lucas and me. He didn't reply. He just span around on his heels and marched over to his bike, grabbing his helmet.
"You know I am sick and tired of that guy not responding to my greetings " Madi complained as we both walk closer to her car to get in. I yanked open the door and got in.
"Woah, please don't hurt the merchandise. What's gotten into you?"
"Sorry" I mumbled. "He just infuriates me so much"
"Sure, he does" she replied sarcastically and I snapped my gaze to her.
"He does!" I argued and she rolled her eyes.
"I am not arguing with you" she sings and I grunted, folding my arms and slouching in my chair.
~~~
I slammed open the kitchen door, screaming I'm home as I kicked off my shoes and walked further into the house looking for my mom. I knew she was here because her car was out in the front.
She's never home this early, so I was excited to see her.
"Mo-" I stop short when I saw a slim lady with platinum blonde hair sitting ramrod straight at my dining table. She looked over at me with a small smile on her face and she looked downright beautiful.
She looked like Gigi Hadid, but with blonde hair.
"Hi," I said, stepping closer to her. I glanced over at my mother who smiled at me and then back at the woman.
She was very mesmerizing to look at. She had crystal blue eyes and it looks unbelievable.
"Hi, Raine" my mother greeted me. "This is my client, Carol. Sorry, I don't normally do business at home" my mother apologize to Carol and she smiled.
"No, I'm sorry. It's just that the matter was so urgent" she said, "I'm the one intruding" she apologize and my mother shook her head.
"It's okay. I would look into what you give me and contact you on this number okay" my mother got up from her seat and the woman joined her. She shook my mother's hand and then smiled at me.
"You're very beautiful" she commented and I blinked at her.
"Uh-thanks" I replied. She gave a curt nod and then reached for a brown hat and shades to put on carefully.
"Thank you, Allanna" she thanked my mother and then walked out of the house. My mother locked the door behind her before spinning around on her heel and walking towards me.
"How was school, darling?" she hugged me and I pulled away.
"Who was she?" I asked and my mother continued on as if I didn't ask anything.
"That's great. My day was great too. Dealt with some business and finished quickly to come home" she walked over to the kitchen, dumping the tea that she and Carol was drinking.
"Okay, I get it. It's none of my business, but you have never brought work home" I commented and she nodded.
"I don't. I met her waiting in a car across the road. She practically ambushed me when I was unlocking my door, but she's nice. Nothing to worry about" my mother shrugged and come back over to me. "Again, how was school?"
I should tell her about one of my teachers giving me detention for not paying attention in class. Or, that I trip twice in Physical Education and that the subject was just not for me. Or, that I got a B in Maths because that right there is freaking iconic, but I knew she wasn't referring to that.
She wanted to know where I was on my emotional level.
I had told her all about Oscar, Madi and I falling out. She wasn't too happy to hear that my best friend for as long as I knew myself was not anymore. She knew that losing someone you hold so dear was never a good thing to endure. She experienced it before.
"He still isn't talking to us," I told her and she nodded, before walking over to me.
"How are you feeling?" she stopped and leaned on the counter.
"Like a piece is missing," I told her truthfully.
"But, you're-" she raised a brow and I bit my lip.
"I'm strong" I finished for her and she smiled softly at me.
"I know you don't feel it, but you are. The fact that you still tried to restore it was a role of a strong friend. You tried, Raine. That's the best thing you have ever done because if you decide to walk away, you know in your heart that at least you tried"
I bit my lip and nodded, feeling my nose burn along with my eyes.
"It's okay to cry too. It doesn't matter how many times you do either." she reached forward to hug me and I let her for the second time that day.
"Oh, wow. You guys are having a moment. Just let me ahh-" Jus came into the room, causing me to open my eyes as I watch him tiptoe around us to get to the snack cupboard.
I pulled back from mom, the same time as she rolled her eyes but still smiled at her son. "I don't know when last I hug you," she said, with her hands still open and walking over to Jus.
"I'm fine, Mom. Mom, I said I'm fi-" Mom still smothered him with a hug, but it was funny because she only came up to his chest and she squeezed him like he was a tube of toothpaste.
"Aw, I so love you guys" I cooed and ran over to give a group hug.
"Maybe I should have just waited until you guys were finished." Jus groaned.