TRIGGER WARNING
again i don't want to romantisize this, fuck, sorry. <3
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Matty's arms wrapped around my waist and his lips dragged down my neck sloppily. I looked at him, beads of sweat forming on his forehead. I kissed his lips gently and he grinned at me and practically giggled.
"God, I missed this." He mumbled. "I missed you."
I opened my eyes and stared at the carpet of Bryony's bedroom.
I reached for my phone and turned it on.
I began to read the texts from Matty.
'Lizzy can we talk?'
'Lizzy, please.'
'Lizzy I love you.'
I sighed quietly and shut my eyes before replying.
'I love you too.'
I got up, finally showered, threw on a pair of black skinny jeans, a long sleeved black top and a grey sweatshirt with a pink rose on the front. I looked okay for once.
I dried my hair and did my make up, badly, but I looked better than usual.
I could hear Sylvia and Becca talking in the kitchen through the floor. I laughed quietly, they were the two loudest people in the house.
I wanted to talk to Bryony, Tom or Charlie, juat to get some sense out of someone, but they were all either out or in some lecture, so I called Matty.
He answered in no time.
"Hi." He said.
I sat down on Bryony's bed as I began to feel lightheaded.
"Hi." I replied quietly.
I thought about his lips and his hair and his eyes and hands and tried to imagine him in the room with me.
"I-I miss you."
"Yeah, I miss you too." I said.
"How long has it been?" He asked.
Too long.
"About, I dunno, almost a month." I said.
"I know, I just wanted to hear you saying it." He mumbled. I shut my eyes.
"Can I see you?" I asked him. He was so silent that I could hear him walking around.
"I don't know."
I sunk my teeth into my thumb nail and carelessly tore the tip of it off, wincing as it peeled some of my skin with it.
I heard him take a sharp intake of breath, sounding like he was about to cry.
"I miss you, Lizzy, and it's killing me."
I said nothing.
"This is killing me." He choked out.
"Then why can't I see you?" I asked him.
"Because that will hurt even more."
"Matty, are you drunk?" I asked him. He sobbed.
"Yeah." He let out a pained laugh.
"What are you doing?" I asked him, standing up and slipping my shoes on quickly.
"Right now?" He asked.
"Right now." I confirmed.
"I'm sitting on the bathroom floor, staring at the tiles on the floor." He giggled and I frowned.
"What are you doing in the bathroom?" I asked as I opened the door and began to run down the stairs.
"I don't know." He admitted. "I'm really high, though." He mumbled.
I frowned.
"Right, I'm coming over now. Don't move at all, don't do anything stupid." I warned him.
"No, don't come over." He said, just as I opened the front door.
"Where are you doing, Lizzy?" Sylvia shouted from the kitchen, I ignored her.
"I'll call Geroge then." I said, shutting the door hesitantly.
"No, don't call George, or anyone for that matter."
"The police-"
"Lizzy stop." He whimpered. I leaned against the wall.
"Matty, I'm not going to let you do something stupid all because I fucked George." I almost shouted down the phone.
"You what?" Becca practically screamed at me from the kitchen. "Fucking hell!"
I laughed quietly, Sylvia didn't tell her after all. I prepared myself for all of the rumours spread on Twitter.
"But-"
"No, Matty. It was a relationship, not the end of the world, okay. Sure, you're my world and I dunno if I'm yours, but there are so many more important things than this, like you're family, or-"
"Lizzy I just want you so much." He sobbed. I dragged my hand through my hair.
"Then let me come over."
I walked out of the door and ran down the road.
"What are you doing?" I asked.
He sobbed.
"Matty tell me, what are you doing?" I clungto my phone as I ran breathlessly down the street.
"Lizzy." He cried.
"Matty what are you doing?" He laughed. I frowned.
"Thinking of you."
"No, what are you doing?" My feet were beggining to hurt and I realised I wouldn't even get there in time if he did something stupid.
"Matty!" I almost shouted.
I hailed a cab and one stopped by me immediatly. I opened the door and slid in, shutting the door behind me and told the driver Matty's address.
"Matty, I'm on my way now." I told him.
"Okay." He whimpered.
I curled my toes up in my shoe.
"Don't do anything stupid." I told him.
"I can'y make any promises." He whispered.