"Mr. and Mrs. Reed?"
I instinctively looked up even though that wasn't my name.
"You can come see her."
I was the first to my feet, her parents quickly following as we all tried to contain ourselves from sprinting down the hallway. It was a different room than Shawna was first in, but the same set up. Same plain ugly walls, and harsh fluorescents. But this time as we stepped into the room, Shawna was awake, sitting up and waiting for us.
"Hey!" she beamed, looking much, much better than when we had left her.
Her parents rushed over and showered her in hugs and kisses, while she giggled at all the attention she was getting. I stood back, just soaking in the relief that was rolling over me in waves. She was right here. She was okay.
For the past couple of hours, I had been driving myself mad with wild thoughts. What if the doctors screwed up again like they had before? What if something happened to her? What if she lost too much blood? What if we didn't have the same blood type and I couldn't donate mine?
But there she was.
"Mark," her voice called me over. Immediately I grinned, and she sent me one right back. "What are you doing? Get over here."
Laughing to myself, mostly because I felt like a teeny bopper at a boy band concert, I made my way over to her. Once I was close enough, she held her arms up in an obvious invitation, and I leaned in so she could throw her arms around my neck and pull me to her, gripping me in a tight hug. I wrapped my arms around her small body, squeezing her back, my heart thumping so hard she could probably feel it. She could probably hear it. Everyone could probably hear it.
As we pulled away, but not completely, I met her eyes. "Hi," she whispered.
"Hi," I whispered back.
Someone cleared their throat behind me and I quickly let go, taking a full step back. Her dad was giving me a pointed look, though it held no malice at all. How could he be angry about anything at a time like this?
We all gathered around her and went over what had happened, breezing over the details of the actual accident. That would have to wait for later, it was too heavy for this moment together.
Shawna showed us her leg. It was still purple, but not nearly as bad. I wouldn't be able to get rid of that image any time soon, that was for sure. We talked for a long time, and eventually, Shawna started yawning every few minutes.
"We should let you get some rest," her mom, sighed. "You've probably got a lot of anesthetic in your system."
"Okay," Shawna agreed easily. "What are you guys going to do?"
"Probably go check in on your siblings, then we'll be back. We can bring them with us, if you're feeling up to the energy."
"Chaos," her dad amended with a smirk.
But Shawna's eyes lit up, "Yes. Bring them, please."
Her parents laughed at her enthusiasm, "Alright, we'll see you tomorrow as soon as visiting hours are open. Sweet dreams, kiddo."
"Yep," she grinned, as they started to exit. I got up to follow them, a little disappointed to have to leave so soon. Despite the fact that I'd been sitting in this dang hospital for almost five hours now. But Shawna caught my wrist, "Can you stay for a minute?"
"Of course," I nodded, sitting down again.
"Bye guys," she sent them a look as they lingered in the doorway.
Thomas narrowed his eyes at us, "No hanky-panky, got it? I'll be telling the nurses to keep an eye on you two."
"Dad," Shawna groaned, pinching the bridge of her nose. "You're seriously embarrassing."
He laughed as his wife grabbed onto his arm and pulled him out of the room, closing the door most of the way out.
"Geez," she sighed, shaking her head. "They're dorks."
I laughed, twisting so that I could intertwine our fingers, "Says you."
She let out a soft laugh and looked over at me, her eyes shining. My heart picked up again. I thought I had been relieved from it since she hugged me, but every time she looked at me it would start up again and there was nothing I could do to control it. Just being with her was driving me crazy.
"Oh please," she rolled her eyes, playfully. "I'm way cooler than them."
"Whatever helps you sleep at night, weirdo," I chuckled, running my thumb over her knuckles. I could hear her heart rate speed up just slightly, the beeping on the monitor going faster. It gave me a little swell of happiness to know that I had even the smallest effect on Shawna. But I was very glad I wasn't the one hooked up to the machine, my heart was going way too fast to even pretend to be normal.
That would've been way more embarrassing.
"You kind of scared the heck out of me, you know." I kept my eyes down, feeling heat rise up the back of my neck. She would never know how crazy it drove me in that waiting room, not knowing how she was doing. Not being able to do anything.
"I'm sorry," she made a face. Then she was quiet for a while, thinking. "We totally should've gotten a picture of that bruise, though. It was sweet."
"I was a little preoccupied."
"But it was cool, right?" she looked at me expectantly.
"Sure," I rolled my eyes. "It looked cool." She grinned at me and I huffed, resting my elbows on the edge of her bed. "I won't be able to get it out of my head, though."
She reached over and brushed away some of the hair across my forehead. "One time Allison went paintballing with some of our friends from school and she got shot in the leg from close range... her bruise was sick. Like, so good. It was huge and colorful. I've got a picture of that one, I'll have to show you."
"So you've got a thing for bruises?" I chuckled, sending her a bizarre look.
She shrugged, "I kind of like those things. Scars, bruises—"
"You like when people get injured?"
"No," she chuckled. "I just think they're... sort of mini battle scars. You know? Like, physical proof that you were brave."
"Hm," I hummed thoughtfully. "You know... I've got a couple of scars." Shawna held back a smile, and wiggled her eyebrows, "You do, do you?"
Shawna held back a smile, "Oh you do, do you?"
"Yeah, I mean, I have been in a couple of fights here or there..."
"Wow. You must be really brave."
"Or very stupid."
"Nah. You're smart. You're friends with me, after all." Her smile softened after a moment. "And I really do think you are one of the bravest people I know."
I sent her a flat stare because are you kidding me? She was the one that just went through a car accident and freaky surgery. I was literally incomparable.
"You're ridiculous," I told her. "You've been through so much. All I did today was sit in a chair. That's nothing"
"Hey, what are you saying? I sit in a chair all day every day," she scowled playfully. Reaching over she gently tapped my nose, "Thank you, for today."
"Shawna, I did nothing--"
"For being you." She smiled when I rolled my eyes. "Seriously. You really... you helped me through this."
I lowered my gaze. "I wasn't even there..."
"I know. But I was thinking of you. And that... I don't know. That really helped me push through the pain."
"Are you in pain?" I sat up, worried.
"No, no. Not now. I mean, after the car, you know," she pulled a face. "I was lying th-- I was thinking of you and I... I knew I needed to get through this to see you." She took in a deep breath, but smiled, eyes flickering between mine. "I told you that you added something to the world."
I swallowed hard, rims of my eyes burning. "Shawna..."
"And," she added. "Because I knew I couldn't leave this earth without helping you get better at wheelchair basketball. Seriously Mark, you suck so much."
I rubbed at my nose and breathed out a laugh. Man. This girl. I was never going to be able to keep up with her, was I? One minute she was yanking on every single one of my heartstrings, and the next she had me laughing.
I couldn't imagine what my life would be like if I hadn't met her. I didn't even want to try.
She was amazing. She was so incredible. She was--
"Shawna, I think I love you."
Every alarm system in my body went off at the same time. Whoa man, did you actually just say that? My chest hurt, my stomach hurt, everything felt like it was suspended in time. All I could see was Shawna. What did I just do? What was she going to say?
Those clear blue eyes found mine instantly, and somehow I knew. Every panicked thought of doubt disappeared in that moment, because I knew. And she knew, too.
"You think?" she teased. "After all this time, you think? Geez." She shook her head. "If I have to be hospitalized for you to say that you love me, what's it going to take to get you to kiss me?"
My heart tripped over itself a couple of times as I reached up and cupped her face with both hands. I was so careful, so gentle, unwilling to be the thing that caused her pain.
I leaned in a little closer, absorbing every moment of anticipation, as our eyes searched each other. Every second felt stretched. Every touch of skin, amplified. Every moment, monumental. As our noses brushed, I whispered, "Absolutely nothing."
Shawna's eyes closed, and so did the distance between our lips.
At first, the kiss was slow and cautious, as first kisses were meant to be... but it felt right. I barely registered that Shawna's heart monitor had now picked up double time in the background, only focused on this feeling. This special first between us. This moment that would change everything.
After a few seconds, I tried to shift position. I was bent over her at a funny angle that was making this enjoyable experience slightly less so. But I moved too far and somehow managed to knock our foreheads together with a clunk, effectively ruining the moment.
I mean, I would've continued, but Shawna was laughing too hard to keep going.
"Sorry," I mumbled, knowing my face was going to be red.
Shawna was still chuckling as she reached up and cupped my cheek in her little hand. "You are too cute to be real."
I frowned. "Cute?"
"That's a good thing, Mark."
"But. I'm a dude!" I complained, dropping my head onto her stomach in shame. "We are not cute."
She ran her fingers through the hair on the back of my head, which may have just become one of my favorite feelings in the entire world. Second only to the lip-locking that had happened seconds ago.
"Hm... well, you're cute."
I managed some sort of groan of complaint, but arguing with her wasn't worth making her stop playing with my hair.
Unfortunately, I heard the door open with a click, and when I lifted my head, one of Shawna's nurses was coming in. I leaned back in my chair, but grabbed onto Shawna's hand, not sure if I could physically be apart from her right now.
"Everything okay?" the nurse checked, coming to Shawna's other side.
"Is everything okay?" the nurse checked, coming to Shawna's other side.
"Yeah, everything's great," she answered.
The nurse tapped a few buttons on one of the machines, reading the screen. "Okay. It's saying your heart rate spiked higher than normal, and set off some warnings, so just wanted to make sure you were feeling alright."
"Oh... yeah, I'm good." Shawna nodded towards me. "He just kissed me for the first time."
My face was on fire again. "Shawna."
She started giggling and even the nurse was trying to fight back a smile and obviously failing. "Well, that adds up," the nurse smiled, making note of something.
Oh gosh, this was going to be the funny story at the nurses station tonight, wasn't it?
"I'll be out of your way, call if you need anything." The nurse paused in the doorway, looking back at me. "Don't get her too worked up. She needs to rest." I let out a deep sigh at Shawna's snickers. Then the nurse winked, "But have fun."
Shawna erupted into more laughter as soon as the nurse was out the door. I tried to cut her off with my best glare, but it had no effect at all. Bringing her hand up with mine to press it against my forehead, I sighed, "You suck so much."
"But you love me anyway."
She said it so casually that it made my heart jump, even though I had been the one to say those words only minutes ago.
I slowly nodded, something settling deep in my chest. "Yeah. I do."
Shawna brushed the back of her fingers across my cheek, smiling softly, "Well, I love you back."
I couldn't stop my own smile. "Good."
"Good."
I laughed, unable to hold it back. Is this what it felt to be really happy? Like, so happy that I could actually burst. Like the sun had somehow taken up residence inside my chest and was filling my whole body with light.
"I'm going to kiss you again," I warned her, leaning forward
"I'm going to kiss you back," she replied with the same tone.
"Well that's good, otherwise it'd be really awkward," I told her, hovering an inch away from her lips.
"It would be," she agreed.
"What are we waiting for?"
"I don't know," she fought back a smile, her eyes twinkling.
"I'm going in..."
"Okay..."
"It's happening..."
"Alright..."
"I am—"
"Oh shut up," Shawna laughed before forcing our faces together.
And this time it wasn't awkward. Because we knew what we meant to each other, not only in this moment but in every moment that had led us to this moment. That every act of kindness, every knowing look, every subtle touch, every whispered secret, every piece of who we were... had brought us here.
To being together. To choosing each other.
To being somebody in this world who really mattered to somebody else.
#shipShark