Entry 909
Sunday 24th March 2019
I spoke to Naomi today and she made me realise something...
In the morning Blade made a public announcement about what happened yesterday with the yacht. He did his usual intro telling everyone who he is and that he's the head of safety and security blah, blah, blah, and he then got to the point; "Yesterday afternoon," he announced, "A yacht containing fifteen people almost crashed into the seafront at Cowes. Due to an incident onboard and an engine failure, the yacht caught fire and exploded before it made impact with the Cowes seafront. The yacht contained a number of survivors who were based in Brighton but had to flee when their base became overrun with infected. On route the survivors picked up a number of other survivors. Of the fifteen people on board, twelve have sadly died, two have survived and will be introduced into general population after the obligatory 24-hour quarantine period, and it is reported that one person evacuated the yacht and fled in the life boat after the yacht caught fire. No existing islanders were harmed and all infected have been disposed of. The current threat level remains at code green. Thank you."
After I'd heard the announcement, I went to see Naomi. I got the bus and travelled to Sandown, and when I arrived at Naomi's I was aware of how anxious I felt. I wasn't panicking but I could feel an increase in my heart rate. Stood on Naomi's front doorstep I closed my eyes, took a deep breath and knocked on the door. A few moments later the door opened and Naomi answered. She looked very surprised to see me. "Oh. Luke," she said. "Yeah, hi," I replied. "I wasn't expecting you," said Naomi, "I thought it was the baby sitter." "Oh, if you're busy I can come back later," I said. "No, no," said Naomi, "I was just going to go into the centre of Sandown and get some bits and bobs. Tell you what, you come with me and then we can go for a walk on the beach. The sitter won't mind hanging on for an extra hour or so."
I walked into Naomi's and played with Sophie for a bit. It's weird seeing how fast she's growing up. Not long after, the babysitter arrived, Naomi and I left and after I went with her into the centre of Sandown so she could get a bit of shopping, we both went for a walk on the beach. The beach at Sandown is nicer than the one in Cowes. The Sandown beach is nice and sandy but the Cowes one is a pebble beach. Anyway, Naomi and I walked along the beach and we had a good chat.
"It's quite nice here," I said to Naomi as we walked along the beach. "Course it is," said Naomi with smile, "Why do you think we live here? Nice beach a five-minute walk away from the house. It's great." "Anyway," I said, "I just wanted to say sorry for going in a mood with you about the whole Natasha and infected thing." "Don't be," said Naomi, "I can totally see why you got angry. I didn't think about you. I was just so focused on making sure Natasha's proposals didn't get any support, that I didn't even stop to think about any collateral damage." "Collateral damage?" I said. "Yeah, sorry," said Naomi, "That came out wrong. I'm saying that I didn't think about how my plan to sabotage Natasha would affect you and the others." "I just can't believe you stood there and watched me blame Kyle when things are already bad between us," I said. "I know," said Naomi, "I really am sorry. I should have said something." "And then you just stood there when Sci-Fi Cyn blamed me," I said, "Why didn't you tell us what you were up to?" "I couldn't," said Naomi, "You'd have told Sci-Fi Cyn, she'd have told Blade and the lot of you would have tried talking me out it, and I didn't want to be talked out of it. I still think I did the right thing you know, Luke? I'm not sorry about what I did. I'm just sorry about the way I did it. We cannot live on an island where there's a sh*t load of infected all gathered together being used to pull carts and looked after just in case there's a cure one day. It just can't happen." "Yeah, well, your little stunt on the stage the other day has had an impact," I said. "Good," said Naomi, "God knows what life will look like if Natasha wins this election." "f she does win, Blade is still in charge," I said, "He'll find a way to implement Natasha's strategies in a realistic way." "Jesus, Luke," said Naomi, "You're talking like she's going to win." "I suppose we don't know who's going to win?" I said. "Luke, Natasha can't win, she just can't," said a firm Naomi, "You know that don't you?" "Yeah, but the reality is that she might," I said, "We're voting." "You said that like you're not bothered who wins either way," said Naomi. "That's not fair," I said, "I don't want Natasha to win but if we are trying to rebuild society, we need a democracy." "We need common sense," said Naomi, "If we give people on this island too much freedom God knows how things will end up. If Blade pedals this democracy agenda too much, these islanders might end up electing a new leader. TJ could end up being in charge." "God, that sounds like a nightmare," I said. "Yeah, well that could be what we have to contend with if Blade keeps going on about democracy," said Naomi, "Don't get me wrong, I'm all for democracy but there needs to be structure in place. Telling people that they can vote to keep infected people quarantined is madness. It's like letting Americans vote to elect people like Donald Trump as president." "Yeah, well, I don't think we would have ever have lived in a world where people are that stupid that they'd vote for someone like Donald Trump to be president," I said. "Well I'm telling you," said Naomi, "If Natasha's proposals get in, I'm not going to abide by them. If I see an infected, I'm going to kill it."
Naomi and I continued our walk along the beach. "Do you remember that time DeShawn dragged up as Desiree and sang 'I am what I am' on the supermarket roof?" asked Naomi with a big smile. [DAY 150]. "Oh God, yeah," I said, fondly remembering, "I'd forgotten about that." "You told me I was brilliant, that night," said Naomi. "Actually," I said, with a giggle in voice, "You said you were brilliant, and I just agreed. You know that was on my birthday. 23rd January 2017." "I miss DeShawn," said Naomi, "He was a good guy." "We've lost a lot of good guys," I said. "We certainly have," said Naomi. I noticed the sad look on Naomi's face and realised that I might have just put my foot in it, and that my comment probably prompted her to think of Seth. "Oh God," I said. Closing my eyes and slapping my palm to my forehead, "Sorry. I didn't think." It's OK," said Naomi, "Really it's me who should be apologising to you." "What do you mean?" I asked. "Well I kind of blamed you, didn't I?" said Naomi. "Yeah, well that's in the past now," I said. "No, don't just dismiss it," said Naomi, "I was a bit of a b*tch to you, wasn't I?" "Well you were a massive b*tch actually," I said, "But anyway, like I said; that's all in the past. You know Seth could still be out there somewhere?" Naomi adopted a rather blunt expression. "I think that might be your way of trying to make me feel better," said Naomi. "No, I mean it," I said, "Kyle came back. We all thought he was dead. Seriously, Seth could be out there somewhere." Naomi stopped walking, put her hand on my arm and stopped me from walking. "Luke," she said, "Seth's dead. I've accepted it now." I started to say something but Naomi stopped me. "Luke," she said, "Just stop. If Seth was alive, he'd have found his way back to me by now and if he couldn't get back, he'd have certainly found a way of communicating with Blade or someone from GRID. Seth's dead. It's sad, but that's how it is. I've done my grieving. My priority is Sophie now. Sophie and this bl**dy election thing." "It must be hard," I said, "You lost him once and then you lost him again." "Well you could argue that technically I didn't lose him the first time," said Naomi, "He was a clone wasn't he. That wasn't the real Seth, but I see what you mean. Anyway, what about you and Kyle?" "What about us?" I asked. "He's your son, Luke," said Naomi. "Yeah..." I said. "Ash told me about all the drama that's gone on," said Naomi, "You going to sort it out with him or what?" "Dunno," I said, shrugging my shoulders, "I suppose I should, but I don't really see why I have to be the one to make the first move?" "Because you're the adult," said Naomi. "So?" I said, "He's fifteen, it's not like he's a little kid. Anyway, he's not going, anywhere is he?" "God, Luke," said Naomi, "You know, I love you and all that but you can be a right pr*t at times." "What do you mean?" I gasped. "Luke," said Naomi, "I saw that nutter Ian Easley eating baby Olivia. Trudy and TJ lost their son Aldi. I had a miscarriage. The amount of times we didn't know where the kids were. All of that time I didn't know Courtney was my daughter and when I did find out we had to kill her and her baby. Your son is living two streets away from you and you won't go around and speak to him because you're too stubborn and pig headed. How will you feel if something happens and he dies tomorrow?" "God, don't say that," I said. "Well stop putting your head in the sand," said Naomi, "If your head is in the sand, your arse is in the air and right now I'm metaphorically kicking your arse, and if you don't sort things out with Kyle, I'll literally kick your arse. Come on Luke. If I knew Courtney was in the next street, I wouldn't let my pride stop me from seeing her, and I'm certain that if Aldi was still alive, Trudy would batter the f*ck out of whoever she had to, to see him. Your son's still here. He's alive. He's in the next street. Make the most of him and appreciate him and enjoy spending time with him whilst you still can. I could feel the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. Everything Naomi was telling me made sense, and I suddenly felt this surge of determination come over me. "I never really thought about it like that," I said. "God, you're a nob," said Naomi, "That's the only way you should think about it. He's your son for God's sake. Sort it out, Luke." Naomi and I carried on walking along the beach but I decided that I was going to see Kyle tomorrow, put my pride to one side and get all this sh*t sorted.
I met up with Ash in the afternoon. He brought Leo to see me at Sails Café and we had a catch up over a cuppa. I told him I'd seen Naomi and that we had a really good chat. "Hmmm," said a cynical Ash, "You've gone all puppy-dog eyed. Please don't try and shag my sister." "Oh God, shut up," I said. "No," laughed Ash, "I don't think I could handle having you as a brother-in-law." "Calm down," I chuckled, "No one's taking about getting married. It was just nice to spend time with her. She made me see sense. I'm going to see Kyle tomorrow. Be a Dad. Be an adult and put this right."
All in all, a pretty good day. I still don't know what job Blade is going to give me, but I'll find out when I find out. Tomorrow I'm going to sit Kyle down, take control, fix things between us and start being a Dad to him.