You spent a lot of your time inside your own mind, reliving days and memories you thought held no significant value at the time, but now clutched to desperately, just to remember what it was like to feel alive.
"If we're the only purebloods there, I'm leaving" Blaise adjusted his tie in the mirror, as you rolled your eyes at his typical judgmental comment and leant against one of the four poster beds of the boy's dormitory, waiting for him to triple check himself in the mirror so you could finally go to Slughorn's dinner party. Draco wasn't invited and neither was Theo, but that was expected, Slughorn didn't want to associate with anyone who had Deatheater connections.
Of course Blaise was your friend, but you would've enjoyed someone else's company as well, as Blaise could be a little cruel sometimes in his manner, but you didn't have to worry, a certain Gryffindor by the name of Cormac, who you'd heard of but had yet to meet, had taken quite the shine to you, much to Blaise's amusement. He even walked you back to the Slytherin common room entrance after the dinner party, with Blaise following behind trying to hide his laughter.
You shoved Blaise playfully as you walked in,causing him to laugh a little more now as you grumbled under your breath "God.. you could've at least told him you'd take me back"
Walking down the steps into the common room, you noticed Draco slouched across the couch in his usual spot and Theo asleep over the arm of the one opposite. "I hardly want to be seen with him" you muttered to Blaise and rolled your eyes as he still had a slight menacing grin on his lips.
"Seen with who?" Draco immediately interrupted, looking from you to Blaise, his gaze a little bitter. You both sent each other a small look, both knowing what Draco was like but you sat beside the fast asleep Theo and let out a small sigh, shrugging casually "Cormac McLaggen"
"Y/N's new boyfriend" Blaise added. You sent him a sarcastic smile, you knew he wouldn't let you live it down.
Draco's jaw clenched a little and he averted his gaze to the fireplace, you could see the little green flames dancing in the reflection of his eyes but they almost looked like they came from within given how tense and on edge he looked. "McLaggen. What does he want with you?"
Charming. You sent a glare Draco's way "Has it crossed your mind that people can like others without it being because they want something from them?"
You looked around at your friends, knowing full well the hard image they projected of themselves was hardly inviting or friendly. "Maybe I'm just the most welcoming one out of us all? I mean, that's hardly a feat"
"Welcoming?" Draco scoffed, raising his brow as he looked back at you, that signature lopsided smirk on his lips "Welcoming enough to let that swine McLaggen walk you back and practically come in for a night cap?"
Blaise let out a small laugh under his breath, shaking his head whilst you could feel your cheeks growing redder. "I was simply being nice to him, and Blaise was no help"
Blaise raised his brow and looked you up and down in his usual harsh way. "At least I stopped him from leaning in for that kiss" he broke into a smile and looked like he was holding back another laugh "If I hadn't said the password and unlocked the door, you would've been up against it with him right now"
Your cheeks were a deep red now at the suggestion and you sent Blaise a hard glare "Would not."
Draco tensed up again, his casual playfulness gone "He did what?" He looked from you to Blaise with a cold stare. Blaise quickly sent you a small look in warning and made out as though he was suddenly exhausted, getting up and shaking Theo's slouched self, awake to go back to the boy's dormitory with him. Brilliant. Blaise had made his getaway and abandoned ship.
It left you and Draco alone, and the silence of the otherwise empty common room became louder with the absence of the other two.
"McLaggen" Draco stated, his voice showing disgust at the name, as though it physically repulsed him to say "You don't actually see anything in him do you?" Draco's gaze snapped back onto yours and his intense stare didn't seem to break, his voice holding some sort of genuine insecurity under the bitterness but you knew better than to call him out on it. You felt a little brave tonight though, most likely due to the small drink Slughorn let everyone have with their dinner.
You shrugged casually once again and tried to hide your smirk "Well.. he's not bad looking"
Draco drummed his fingers against the side of the couch. He had forgotten you could wind him up as easily as he could you. "Neither am I" He tilted his head a little, raising his brow at you but you averted your gaze. God. Why did he have to be so cocky.
"He's tall"
"I'm taller"
"He's mature"
"Oh come on, he's only a year older"
"He's talkative"
"You mean he's all talk" he smirked with a slight scoff, and you could've sworn his eyes trailed you up and down but maybe your mind was getting ahead of itself, regardless, you felt your cheeks heating up again.
"You're blushing?" His smirk darkened into a menacing smile and his head tilted with a slight curiosity as you refused to look his way again, eyes trained on the details of the fireplace as you tried to come up with some reason for your red cheeks. "It's the heat of the fire"
Your voice was hardly convincing but you stayed looking into the fireplace even though the brightness of the flames were kind of hurting your eyes. You could see Draco's smug smirk in your peripheral and tried to ignore it, knowing it would just result in your cheeks glowing redder. You don't quite know how long you spent in silence as you had been too busy trying to think of ways to make your blush disappear, until you felt a dip in the couch beside you.
"Just seeing if the fire is any hotter on this side than it is on mine" Draco's voice rang in your ear, clearly in close proximity to you. "As expected. It's not." he teased and you didn't need to look at him to know there was a smug smile on his lips.
"I am not blushing okay?" you retorted and turned your head to send him a dark glare but soon regretted your decision as you saw quite how close he was. You could feel his breath against your cheek and his usual piercing eyes had softened a little, his gaze dropping to your lips slowly. His hand had moved up to brush his thumb over your lower lip, effortlessly. Surprisingly, his touch was gentle and warm. Maybe it was the heat of the fireplace and the stark contrast of the coldness of his metal rings against your chin that had started clouding your senses but you were entranced by him.
"You most definitely are blushing" he interrupted the silence and you were instantly reminded of your crimson cheeks, which of course did not help them one bit. You tried desperately to think of some witty response but your mind was blank and you were speechless.
He whispered a small "Goodnight" a teasing smile on his lips at your utter bewilderment, before he dropped his hand from your chin, and took his leave to bed, sending you a wink before he passed through the boy's dormitory door.
You couldn't even deny it now.
You were definitely blushing.
"Miss Y/N for five minutes would you bother to actually put your mind to good use" You heard a very invasive and nasally voice echo in your head then blinked open your eyes to see Professor Snape in front of you with a very irritated look on his face. Shit. You really needed to get to grips with Occlumency. Voldemort seeing you alive was one thing, but Professor Snape seeing your deepest inner thoughts was even more of a scary notion, luckily for you he had no desire to try any Legilimency today.
You sat up in bed and shrugged, looking at him with a false indifference "I don't need to put my mind to good use when the only use it needs to be for now is dead"
"Truly inspirational" Snape chimed in with his typical sarcastic tone "It's rather baffling that for someone with little to no complex thoughts, you cannot seem to empty your mind enough to become a successful Occlumens"
You glared at him, and you could see his smugness at his own comment.
"Tomorrow I am resuming our classes on the subject, so if you could take the time out of your obviously busy schedule.." His eyes looked around the room a little; a few scattered books, photo albums you'd flicked through and the remnants of a few chocolate frogs and pumpkin juice bottles lined the floor. "..I am sure you would find practising hugely beneficial"
"Do you have to say everything in that way?"
"Obviously" He said in that awful voice of his before sending you a forced and sarcastic sort of smile, as thought it physically pained him to do so, then left, swiftly followed by his own cape.