LEZ GO!!
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Word Count: ~2.2K
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TW: Pain, torture from a black abyss, um more pain, blood, painful pain, self hatred maybe?, pain
(I don't really know how these things work)
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POV: Evil Xisuma
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Pain.
That's all I felt anymore.
24 hours. 7 days a week. Every. Single. Week.
I don't really know how long it's been, seeing as all I see is nothing. I've been floating through this abyss, being ripped apart and put back together again over and over again until I'm screaming for it to stop.
It doesn't.
The Void has no emotion. No sympathy. No care in the world that it is torturing me. Tearing me into tiny pieces until I'm nothing but particles floating in the wind, forgotten like dust. If anything, it finds joy in my pain. Or maybe it is just doing what it was created to do.
Punish.
The darkness around me seeps into my skin, clawing it's way into my mind to whisper how horrible I am. How useless I am. How stupid. Awful. Shameful. Hideous. Revolting. Dangerous
How no one could love me because all I bring is pain. All I am is pain.
All I feel is pain.
make IT STOP!
But why would it want to do that? I deserve this, no?
I deserve everything The Void throws at me. I did this to myself. It's no one's fault but mine.
Xisuma had every right to do what he did.
Xisuma.
The thought of my brother sends a pain through my heart, more excruciating than anything The Void could ever do.
Does he remember me? Did he forget?
I wouldn't blame him, to be honest. It would be easier this way. Or maybe he does remember, only to find delight in the fact I'm not there to drag him down anymore. I sure hope so. He deserves so much more than anything I could ever give him.
He did this to you!
He deserves nothing!
He is the one to blame!
You should hate him!
But why don't I? After everything that he did to me, I cannot bring myself to hate him. Yes, he may have done this to me. Yes, he may be overjoyed to be done with me. Yes, he may be glad I am being skinned alive until I'm nothing but a skeleton of who I used to be.
Yes, he may hate me.
But, I still love him.
Always and forever.
I can't hate him, no matter how much my brain screams at me to. I can only hate myself now.
I wish I didn't. I never did before. But that was before The Void sank it's teeth into my body.
Into my mind.
Into my soul.
Always and forever
~~
I scream as the latest wave of torture rushes over my body. The Void is hungry, so it feeds off my pain and this time, it decided it wanted me to burn to death.
The air around me started to heat up. At first, it was just an uncomfortable heat, like running around in the sun during July. Then the temperature kept rising, and rising, and rising, until the heat was unbearable. My skin started to turn red and peel.
I don't want to go into too much detail. Let's just say I was cooked alive.
I died of course, but sadly respawned right back into the The Void, still floating in the endless nothingness.
I got a few minutes of peace after that, and nodded off into a nightmare-filled nap.
The pain never went away, though. It never does. That dull ache in my muscles, like I just ran a marathon. Then the wave of intolerable pain, like every bone in my body breaking. Then right back to the ache, like nothing happened.
I got used to it, though. Somehow.
~~
When I woke, The Void decided it wanted to play, and I had no choice but to be it's puppet. It strung my mind up on strings and danced it around the bottomless pit known as self-hatred.
The thoughts that went through my mind would make even the most emotionless person cringe. They were bone-chilling, gut-wrenching thoughts.
Sobs wracked my body, as I curled up into a small ball.
Please. Please stop. Please let me go. Please leave me be. Please.
I'm sorry.
~~
This continued for hours. I'd honestly rather be cooked alive. It would hurt less.
Oh well. Who cares? The Void doesn't. I don't.
Xisuma didn't.
Still, X is the only thing keeping from breaking. Whenever it gets too much, I just think back to when we were young, and it comforts me.
Because, even if Xisuma doesn't, I still remember the time when we were close.
The smell of chocolate chip cookies filled our house, and before Mommy even had the treats out of the oven, me and you were already in the kitchen, bouncing around.
"Alright, alright! Calm down. You can both have one, but they are too hot. Why don't you go play in the living room while they cool down?" Mom asked.
"Otay Mommy!" We happily skipped away, hand in hand.
"I love you guys" she sang as we hopped away.
"Awways" you said through a giggle.
"An' fowewer" I happily finished.
Do you remember Mom's cookies, X? They were the best.
I screamed as you took my toy car. You already had one! Why did you need mine?
So I did the only reasonable thing. Jumped at you, hands swinging.
This time you screamed, startled by my sudden attack, and swung your hands up to defend yourself. Sadly, you still had the toy cars in your grip, and I only realised that as one hit me in the temple.
I crumpled to the floor, defeated. You, of course, dropped the cars and ran to my side, pulling me into your lap like I was dying. I sure felt like it. Tears streamed down my face, as I sobbed in pain. Little did I know, tears were running down your face in regret.
"I'm so sorry! I d-didn't me-mean t-to!" You choked out between breathes. By now, a whole 5 seconds after I was hit, the pain began to subside. I sat up, still crying, and hugged you. Together, we sat, wrapped in each other's arms.
"It's okay." It really was. You regretted it. I deserved it. Now we were even.
"I love you."
"Always and forever?"
"Always and forever."
I wonder if you still have those cars...
Thirteen year old me was walking out of school, into the dark atmosphere of The End. Chorus plants towered over me as I cut through the fake garden to our meeting spot. You weren't there yet, so I leaned against the cold wall of our school, hands in my pockets, head down.
I heard you coming, so I pushed myself off of the wall and brushed my snow white hair out of my face, only to be met with a fist flying at my face. I fell to the ground, startled by the sudden attack. I glanced up, meeting the eyes of one of our classmates, one of your friends no less. He laughed at my shocked expression.
"Aw, poor you. Didn't see that coming?" he sneered, crouched down beside me, and grabbed my face. "You think your so special, don't you. Just because you are stronger does not mean you are worth more than me. You are nothing, you understa-" He was cut off as someone grabbed the back of his shirt, yanking him up and tossed him back like a rag doll. You stood above me, an expression of pure anger on your face. You grabbed onto the cuff of the guy's shirt and slammed him into the wall.
"If you EVER think about going near me or my brother again, I will make you wish you were never born. Do you understand?" Your eyes glowed black with Voider magic. I would not want to be on the receiving end of that glare.
I stood up and brushed myself off as the kid began to nod furiously, scared out of his mind. Serves him right.
"Good. Now get out of here." For the second time in less than two minutes, you tossed the poor dude to the side. He fell, but quickly got up, stumbling over his own feet as he tried running away. He never looked back as he fled.
You walked over to me, assessing the damage to my face. It wasn't too bad, just a bloody nose. "You good?"
I smirked. "Of course," I answered as I flipped my shoulder length hair over my shoulder. You just rolled your eyes, a small smile of your own spreading across your face. Not surprisingly, you pulled me into a hug. I wrapped my arms around you. "Thank you," I mumbled into your shoulder.
"No problem."
We stayed like that for Notch knows how long, neither wanting to leave the other's embrace. We both took comfort in each other's warmth.
"I love you," I whispered. "Always and forever."
You pulled back, keeping your hands on my shoulder, my hands still resting on your sides. We smiled the same goofy smile at the inside joke. "Promise?"
"I promise," I laughed.
Do you remember when we protected each other? I had your back. You had mine. Always and forever?
"I don't want to leave you." You had tears running down your face.
"I don't care what you want."
"But-"
"No!" I cut you off. "You are going! This has been your dream since we were little. Don't let me hold you back." I was fighting hard to keep my own tears at bay.
Of course I didn't want you to go, but I also didn't want to keep you from fulfilling your dreams. So I chose to be selfless.
'At least this time' I thought with a small smile. It was a joke, of course.
At least this time.
"Are you sure?"
"Why in the heckadoodles would I not be sure?" We both laughed at the silly word.
"I'll miss you," you whispered through choked breathes.
"I'll miss you too. Now go before I decide to kidnap you to keep you here!"
"Fine."
At the same time, like we both run on the same wavelength, we stepped forward, wrapping the other in a tight hug. One that had to last us a couple years, seeing as you'll be living at the Admin School.
"I love you," you mumbled.
"I love you too."
"Always and forever," we said at the same time, laughing at the coincident.
We pulled back, staring at each other. I held out my hand. You knew what I was doing, and returned our special handshake we made when we were kids.
"That's a promise," I told him.
"'Till the day we die."
"'Till death do us part."
"Always and forever," we both said in unison, for the second time.
"I promise," X sniffed.
"I promise," I declared. We smiled at each other. It was like looking in a mirror.
You gave me a quick hug, then turned on your heal and ran to the portal, turning back when you were in.
We waved at each other wildly, blew kisses, and jumped up and down saying our final goodbyes in a silly, child-like way.
You disappeared into the portal.
Suddenly, I felt so alone. Even after Mom and Dad died, we always had each other. And now, here I stood, without my other half.
I slouched, my shoulders sagging from the sudden feeling of emptiness. I finally let my tears fall.
No matter what happens now, though, I will always have you when I need you.
We made a promise.
A promise I intend to keep.
"Always and forever," I whispered into the cold, still air of The End, my words getting lost in the nothingness beyond.
We made a promise. Do you remember that promise X? You probably don't...
I am physically and emotionally exhausted, and I feel my eyelids closing shut, the cold feeling of loneliness only getting stronger as I curled into a ball.
One last thought echoed in my brain as I fell into a deep slumber.
Always and forever.
~~
I cried writing this...
Correction, I sobbed. So forgive any mistakes because I couldn't see the screen TwT
Anywho... while I was writing this, my sister came up to me to talk about a camping trip we are going on this weekend with our cousin. (quick background info: our cousin is in her late 20s, and lives with her older parents, her dad is Uncle Rick btw, and our grandma. She helps take care of them.) It will be just me, my sister, and our cousin going, and we will be staying away from her, because ya know...Corona. Anywho, my sister told me that we will have to be careful to stay away from my cousin, because, her words not mine, "Uncle Rick just had surgery and Grandma already has one foot in the grave"
...
-_-
(╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻
SHE IS AN AWFUL HUMAN BEING
Why!?
WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT!?
UGH
xD
jk, I laughed. It was funny.
...
ANYWAY
I hope you liked this chapter!
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I'M OK
no i'm not
~Buh-Buy!! 💛💛