It had been a couple of days since Akasuki had temporarily moved into Kenma's house. The nights had grown colder and lonelier as the pair sat in their designated beds. Kenma in his own, while Akasuki had a makeshift bed on the floor with spare covers from his parents. Akasuki's mind was wandering, eyes set on the ceiling above tracing the spirals dancing through. She thought to herself as the melody of Kenma's game echoed into the silence of the room, are their nights together always going to be so, separate? She shifted turning to look up at Kenma huddled in his bed playing on his game. This, is frustrating. She pushed herself up from the bed letting the covers fall. She hated the silence. Kenma's head immediately lifted in her direction, face lit by the device's screen, whispering,
"what's wrong?"
"I can't sleep," Akasuki lied with a frown.
Kenma glanced around, eventually looking down at his device,
"is it, me?"
Him? Akasuki shook her head carefully lifting herself from the bed, it's worth a try. She sat upon the edge of the bed looking at his game,
"it's not you."
He nodded pausing his game to face her properly. That's adorable, he's giving her his full attention.
"Can we cuddle?" Akasuki asked weakly played her fingers in her lap, "the quietness is getting to me."
Kenma carefully shifted his game to his desk, his ears peaking at the word 'cuddle', reaching over to slide his hand over Akasuki's,
"cuddle?"
She nodded watching a smile spread on his face as he shifted the covers aside,
"with me?"
Akasuki squinted at him chuckling as she laid down looking up at Kenma's blushing expression,
"who else silly?"
Kenma slowly lowered himself beside her, his features hard to follow in the darkness yet Akasuki was able to trace her fingers perfectly across his face as his lips parted,
"we haven't really," he cleared his throat anxiously, "cuddled."
He was right, they hadn't. Not properly. But Akasuki's had her taste of lonely nights in her life wishing for the boys who never liked her back. This time isn't being added to the list. This time, Akasuki didn't want to let him slip from her grasp. Nor did she want a hold too tight.
"There's a first time for everything," Akasuki chuckled, she should be more considerate of his feelings, for all she knows, "but I understand if I'm moving too fast," everyone has varying experiences in love.
She felt Kenma lay beside her, his fingers reaching to play with the ends of her hair, still gazing at her,
"I'm sorry for making you sleep on the floor."
Huh? That wasn't what she was implying.
"It's cool," Akasuki shrugged with a faint smile, "it's better than," her voice faded out, "sleeping alone," or waiting for him to come back but he never did.
The way she never held it against him, she'll always regret that. He shifted again carefully sliding his arm under Akasuki's head, who was watching him distantly.
"Akasuki," Kenma spoke, hm? "Suki," the nickname, her attention finalised on him, I have a question."
A question? She nodded forgetting their place hastily answering instead,
"what is it?"
She felt him take a hesitant breath of air lifting his fingers to her chin,
"are you," was she, "okay?" okay?
What? What does he mean? Did he mean at this current time? Or in the entirety of her life? It's a well riddled question. What was the right answer? She smiled weakly, what was the answer?
"Witw you, always."
Kenma shook his head murmuring under his breath,
"you're an idiot."
"Idiot?" Akasuki blurted, immediately leaning up on her elbows to squint at him, curious for the reasoning of his words.
He hummed like usual. Akasuki waited for me yet nothing else joined his non-existent words.
"I'm confused," Akasuki admitted dimly, noticing Kenma had closed his eyes, she was an idiot?
He loosely tapped her elbows, Akasuki getting the message to lay back down. She didn't really need someone to clarify that for her when she knew it already.
"Let's sleep," he suggested simply.
Let's sleep? Was that all? She subconsciously obliged burrowing herself into Kenma's chest like an old tape on replay. She felt Kenma's arms pull the covers over the pair of them, snaking around her body. She felt a soft kiss upon her head as his whisper tickled her ear,
"you don't have to pretend around me."
Pretend? She wasn't sure what pretend meant anymore. She didn't pretend. She just simply, displaced herself,
"I,"
"Sometimes you look at deep in thought," Kenma whispered, did she? "I just hope it's not regret,"
"Never!" Akasuki blurted, snuggling into Kenma, no way, "I, just get stuck in my mind sometimes."
He chuckled stroking her face,
"I hope you start to free yourself," free herself?
What did that mean? As Kenma's heartbeat became the rhythm leading her sleep, eyes becoming heavy Akasuki started to feel a deep nagging within her head. A voice filling her mind as sleep dragged her away,
"you always come back to me."
Cold fingertips ran down her spine, forcing her to expel an unpleasant growl from her lips, twisting in the bed,
"why do you, always do that?"
A sharp chuckle lifted her ears,
"because you hate me."
"Hate you?"
Her eyes slowly opened. The air escaping her lungs as two fiery eyes intensely salvaged her weakened state. A helpless question left her lips her hands trembling,
"Kenma?"
"Kenma?" as if the eyes were angered, they grew larger in size and more furious in flames, "you're calling out for him and not me?"
She was frozen to her spot, stuck to the bed as her eyes scoured the room for advantage points. She soon gave in to her useless attempts, focusing on the monster before her,
"who, who are you?"
A terrifying scoff arose from them, the eyes drawing closer, practically inches from hers, hissing into her face,
"oh Suki," the head shook in disappointment, "how could you forget me?" the eyes drew closer almost sinking into her own, an overwhelming fear paralysing her entirety, "I am your past," features began to form before her, "your present," recognisable features of a boy coming together like shards of glass from a broken mirror, "and your future," with the last of the words, his face formed into a handsome boy around her age.
No way. It couldn't be. Right? It couldn't be.
"Goodnight Suki," his whisper harsh and teasing.
No. No. She always knew what followed the routinely goodnight. With a smirking face, his hand shot out, muscular fingers clamping over her mouth as she let out a horrifying scream.
Fuck, Akasuki shot up from the bed, sweat trickling from her face, what was that? She glanced down to Kenma huddled up by her side, thank god he's okay. She reached out to brush aside his hair, his skin unusually come to the touch. Why is he so cold? They closed all the windows earlier. She laid back down, maybe she should warm him up. She leaned into him pressing a soft kiss against his forehead, he's so cute. As she pulled away, she noticed his eyes open, a sluggish evil burning within.
"Kenma?"
His lips twirled into a torturous grin; hands outstretched in attempt to silence Akasuki once more. Her eyes shot open; breath heavy as she was bathed in the early sun. What the fuck? With staggered breathing, she glanced down at Kenma who was still asleep. She hoped this wasn't another nightmare. Please, she begged shifting to face Kenma, whispering,
"Kenma," no response except the rising of his chest, "Kenma," she reached out to stroke his face, "Kenma," panic was starting to course through her.
His eyes abruptly opened causing Akasuki to jump back, Kenma grabbing her arm to stop her from tumbling off the bed pulling her into his chest,
"you idiot."
Her cheeks burned at the embarrassment. She actually thought it was another nightmare. She took a breath of air as she relaxed her head against his shoulder. This is the real Kenma. It's okay. Kenma froze as Akasuki took her time steadying her heart rate. It felt so real. He's not coming back. He can't.
"I," she started to whispered, there's no use bringing up the past, "had a bad dream."
Kenma brushed her hair back pulling away to gaze at her paled face. This was so embarrassing. Why did she have to have one when she's with Kenma? No way did she want to start associating the pair.
"Um, I'm not sure if this helps," Kenma started, Akasuki looking to meet his drowsy face, "whenever Kuroo has a nightmare, we," he weakly smiled as if thinking of distant memories, "go out, shop, eat, maybe talk," she chuckled at the thought of Kenma sitting in silence while Kuroo rambled on, "would that help?"
Distracting her mind was a great idea. She couldn't imagine anything better.
"Please," she stroked his face smiling, "I'm sorry for waking you."
Kenma shook his head forcing his weary face into a smile,
"it's okay, I assumed you had a bad dream."
Assumed? He shifted under the covers to face her fully,
"let's get ready to go out."