Akasuki paced outside the gym door clutching her bag at her side. Class had finished twenty minutes ago which Akasuki had spent five minutes of avoiding the boys and the next fifteen pacing outside. 'Don't bother coming to practice if you keep that attitude'. Did he honestly mean that? She frowned, she wasn't sure if she's lost the attitude or not, she's avoided thinking about everything until now. She should continue to avoid thinking and practice, she reached out to push the door open, buzzing from her pocket stopping her. Hm? She pulled out her phone, Yamaguchi, did he want to talk? She accepted it bringing it up to his ear,
"hey."
"I couldn't wait, I'm outside," he blurted.
What? Akasuki glanced towards the gate seeing a dark figure under a street light,
"I'm coming."
She hung up making her way towards him, she supposed that he wanted to talk in person then. She stepped out into the street, Yamaguchi holding out his hand as she crossed the road towards her joining her side, his eyes avoiding hers,
"hi."
"Hi," Akasuki whispered nervously rubbing her palms together.
"I felt that we should talk face to face," Yamaguchi admitted.
She nodded, that made sense.
"I think I should start," Yamaguchi whispered, okay she wasn't sure what he was going to start on.
She closely focused on his face as his slim lips parted,
"I've realised that," he paused glancing up at her, "we both have feelings for other people," he frowned, "and before you say anything," he took her hands into his, "I really do think you're an amazing girl but you just aren't, my girl."
Wait so, he likes someone else? Akasuki nodded slowly squeezing Yamaguchi's hands softly staring into his face. She understood the amount of courage it must've taken for him to tell her, and she appreciated that,
"I'm sorry," she frowned, "I really tried to stop feeling that way for,"
"Kenma?" Yamaguchi whispered.
Yeah, that name probably haunted him, Akasuki nodded slowly,
"when," this is gonna hurt, "did you find out?"
He chuckled softly,
"its,"
"Tadasahi, I'm ready," someone called, she glanced behind him to see Tsukishima stood with his hands in his pockets a couple of metres away.
She glanced at Tadashi who lifted his hand, his cheeks reddening under the light,
"I'll be there in a sec Tsukki!"
He glanced at her rubbing his neck, wait, does he, she lowered her voice to a whisper,
"is it him?"
The words left a sweet taste on her tongue, this was the right thing to do but she didn't want to give up the idea that someone wanted to try with her. Things were bumpy with him but, if she lost him now, how would she cope with things? There's only been one before him and that, didn't end well. Yamaguchi clenched his eyes with a nod whispering,
"dumb I know."
Not one bit. She glanced away, she didn't want to say goodbye, Tadashi was one of the people she felt who could genuinely like her and he proved he did. But per usual, they always end up leaving.
"hey," he reached up to cup her face, "tell him how you feel, be honest," the truth was a dangerous weapon, "speak to him, just like you spoke to me," but speaking to him was calm and easy, speaking to Kenma was confusing and heart racing, "Suki," he moved her eyes to meet his tender gaze, Tadasahi, "you'll be happier with him," happier.
This was the way it always was; she couldn't stop her selfishness from taking over. She shook her head, clenching her eyes and her lips quivering, distant memories taking over. The moment her eyes open, the person before her wasn't Tadashi. His hands lifted to her face, spreading a cool substance over her lips, before swiping away under her eyes,
"shush, don't cry," sobs, she hadn't known for months, left her lips, his eyes twinkling in response, "it's only for a couple of days, until I've sorted it out, okay? Just," his lips curled into a teasing smile, "wait for me, alright?"
"I don't want you to go, please," Akasuki sniffled trying to stop her tears, "days turn until weeks and, weeks until months," she took a staggered breath, "what, what if he does exactly the same," tears started to roll down her cheeks as she let out quiet sobs.
He was all she had known alongside the boys. The one who cuddled her whenever she felt down, the one who would hype her up when she needed it, he wasn't a partner, he was a true friend. Yamaguchi pulled her into his arms squeezing her tightly shushing her,
"hey hey, don't cry, I'm not leaving you Suki," he brushed his hair behind her ears, "we'll still hang out, have sleepovers, friend dates," he chuckled loosely wiping her tears away, lifting her face to his, "just be honest and whatever happens, I'm here for you."
"How, can I be, honest," Akasuki breathed out, "when I don't know, sleepovers.'
Her thoughts and emotions were jumbled together like a ball of elastic bands, the fear of attempt to separate them threatening those closest. Yamaguchi soothed her,
"say whatever comes to mind, it tends to be the most honest thing, okay?"
She nodded, salt slipping over her lips,
"I'm scared he's, gonna hate me, and I'll destroy the team," or worse, make it impossible to forget him.
"Now, who's the dumb one," Yamaguchi whispered, "he's gonna love you okay?"
Love? Her eyes widened at the thought, more tears slipping. Yamaguchi, shocked by the sudden display, started to ramble,
"I, I didn't mean love, I meant like, he'll like you! Not that he won't grow to love you! Because he will!"
His rambling faded from her senses. Why is everything so confusing? All she wanted was a simple, quiet life but instead, she joined a team of boys that have flipped her entire life upside down. She can't endure the heart ache of love, she's done it once, she couldn't do it again. Yamaguchi pulled away glancing back at Tsukishima before reaching out to tap Akasuki's cheeks,
"I, I don't know what to do, should I get the others? Do they know how,"
"No," Akasuki blurted, it's embarrassing, she always holds a strong mentality around them, she can't let that fall too, she gritted her teeth wiping her eyes aggressively, "I'm fine."
Yamaguchi sighed shaking his head,
"I'm gonna get Kuroo," he pulled out his phone beginning to type.
What? No, no, she tried to grab his phone,
"don't!"
Yamaguchi held her back hunching over himself as he typed, why did he do that, turning to her with a satisfied smile taking her hands, why did he always help her,
"stop being dumb and take care of yourself," he glanced back at Tsukishima then back to her.
Right, she's preventing him from confessing his feelings. She squeezed his hands forcing a weak smile, it's not just about her,
"go take care of yourself."
Yamaguchi squinted at her sensing her hidden pain,
"stop hiding everything, I'll call you later."
She nodded rapidly clearing her throat playfully pushing him away,
"go!"
He grinned at her stumbling back,
"yeah?"
"Yes!" Akasuki exclaimed pointing away at Tsukishima, "go!"
He nodded turning around to go towards Tsukishima,
"I know you can't tell them about your feelings for him so just tell them I called it off!"
Why is he so sweet to her? Fuck, she hoped he is able to go through with his plans and that it works out for them. She watched the pair wander away, Yamaguchi grinning wildly as he spoke to Tsukishima, the light in his eyes growing excessively. She could see it now, from further away, he never had that look in his eye for her. Fuck, why can't someone look at her like that? Not just anyone, why can't he? She sniffled wiping her tears away,
"fuck."
"Hey," a voice spoke out causing Akasuki to jump back in surprise her eyes shooting towards the gate.
Kuroo stood there with his arms crossed, fuck.
"You scared the shit out of me," Akasuki muttered, turning away from him.
He chuckled loosely joining her side, catching the movement of Tadashi and Tsukishima wandering away with the sound of laughter through the darkness,
"what happened?"
She shrugged wiping her nose on her sleeve. She didn't want to make Yamaguchi out in a bad light but he was right, she can't tell Kuroo they ended it because they both like other people,
"he just, said it'd be better if we met other people."
There was a silence before Kuroo reached out to pull her shoulder into him,
"hey,"
"Kuroo," Akasuki whimpered, her emotions slipping out, "do you think he'll come back this time?"
Kuroo frowned at her, unsure of her words,
"come back? Who's coming back Suki?"
Huh? She shook her head, no way. No. She said too much. She wiped her nose again, murmuring,
"I think, I'm gonna go home," she turned on her heels, it's no use.
"Suki," Kuroo groaned grabbing her arm, suddenly lifting her into a cradle carry, what the fuck?
All she could manage to say was,
"Kuroo, put me down."
No reply as he started to walk into the gates.
"Kuroo, I said put me down," Akasuki repeated trying to wiggle out his grasp.
He's so strong. He continued to walk ignoring her, what is he doing? They reached the gym doors, Kuroo carefully placing her down on her feet, Akasuki glaring at him,
"explain," she wiped her nose again, "why you did that?"
He cleared his throat putting his hands on his hips, bringing his shoulders back,
"I'm going to show you eight reasons why boys don't matter," he pulled open the gym glancing in with Akasuki.
Eight reasons? Her eyes scanned over the gym, the boys practicing amongst each other, does he mean, them?
"I know relationships," they weren't technically together, "are difficult, but sometimes life is better without them," her eyes fluttered to Kenma scooping the balls up throwing them to Yaku, "they just mess with everything and everyone," the realisation was slowly sinking in, "you're better without him."
She can't confess anything because it'll be the start of the destruction of Nekoma's team. But Kuroo's right, she's better without him, once she gets through the acceptance phase, she can handle it. She can't let everything crumble again. She tightened her jaw, looking up to Kuroo,
"I hate how you're so right."
Kuroo grinned reaching to wipe the remaining of her tears away, squeezing her shoulder,
"I know, so," he gripped her shoulders moving her into the gym whispering, "now go practice, with your friends."
She nodded smiling weakly looking over her shoulder at him,
"thanks, Kuroo," before jogging over to Yūki and Sō, "Yūki," friends, "how's your neck?"
He glanced up at her noticing the redness of her face,
"it's okay, are you," she needed to stop him there.
"Good," she squeezed his shoulders, Yūki sharing a look with So, "why are you just standing around? Shouldn't you be doing something productive?"
Sō briefly grinned scooping up one of the balls,
"wanna throw me some?"
Come on Akasuki, how many times have you pretended before, you can do it again.
"Duh," Akasuki claimed taking the ball from his arms
Jogging up to the side line of the court facing inwards, her eyes catching Kenma, stood on the opposite side now setting balls for Taketora, her eyes glancing over his concentrating face, just look away, it's that easy. She pulled her eyes away to Sō running up to the net, she brought the ball just above her head forming her hands into a firm w shape, pushing out with her palms, the ball leaving them loosely, arriving at Sō's palm as he smacked it down on the other side of the net. Holy shit, her mouth fell open as Sō ran up to her holding his hands up,
"that was probably the best set you've done!"
She brought her hands up to smack his, his fingers wrapping around hers preventing her to let go, as he exclaimed further,
"I'm proud of you!"
Friends, right? Her eyes shot over to Kuroo watching from beside Kenma. A hand lightly slapped her back as Tamahiko appeared beside her,
"that was really good, you been practicing?"
She couldn't help but smile at the sudden praise,
"I must be playing in my dreams."
She's actually done something useful, she glanced back to Kuroo now talking with Kenma, looking over to her with a smirk, he knew they would find a way to make her happy. He knows everything. Tamahiko chuckled,
"give it another go, I'll help you."
Sō threw her another ball, Akasuki doing the exact same thing as last time, except this time Tamahiko moved her position accordingly advising on the amount of pressure to use and where to aim, Sō watching eagerly like a kid waiting for sweets.