Essence
Three Weeks Later
"Hey, the cookies are done!" Morgan yelled from her kitchen.
"They're done?" I perked up instantly as I got up from the couch and headed to the kitchen.
Morgan and I have been talking nonstop for the past few weeks. Ever since we met at Escape, we've been texting back and forth and talking on the phone. At this point in life, I was very particular about the people that I allowed around me.
I didn't expect for us to actually hit it off the way we did, but we connected instantly and it happened naturally. I've also spent these three weeks in the studio. I recorded four more songs, one of them being the song I sang at Escape.
"Those smell phenomenal." I said glancing at the cookies as I grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge.
"Girl, don't they?"
I watched as she grabbed two plates and placed four cookies on each before grabbing some milk out of the refrigerator. For some reason we just had a random taste for chocolate chip cookies.
"I feel like a big kid right now." She gestured to the milk and cookies. "So, have you thought about the YouTube idea at all? Making your own channel?"
"I thought about it, but I'm still not sure if that's what I wanna do."
During one of our phone conversations Morgan suggested I make a YouTube channel, that way my music could get some exposure. I was still on the fence about the idea because nobody outside of my small circle knew that I was trying to do music and I knew there would be a lot of people who recognized me from the trial.
"I think the channel is a really good idea and you don't have to upload just your music. You can add regular videos of yourself on there so people can get a feel for you outside of the whole case thing."
"I don't know, I guess I'm just scared." I said, dipping my cookie into the glass of milk.
"That's understandable, but you can't keep hiding forever, not if you really want your music to blow up. Whatever you decide to do, just know at some point you're gonna have to embrace the light."
"As soon as I upload any song with my name attached, people are going to start talking, oh she's trying to do music now?"
"Them talking is a good thing, the right person might hear and wanna know what all the talk is about. A lot people get their big break from YouTube, it's a very beneficial platform."
I could see all the advantages of having my own channel, but I wasn't going to jump into that right now, I still had to think on it some more.
"What all do you post on your channel?" I asked her.
"A variety of things. I post vlogs, makeup tutorials, advice videos regarding the music industry, tips on how to start your own business. The only thing I don't put on my channel is my music, I leave that for people to stream. I already told you we should make a singing video together, people would eat that up."
Morgan was kind of big on youtube, she had a million subscribers and over a million followers on instagram. In this business, a lot of times it's not what you can do, but more so who you know. I knew one video with her would make a lot of noise.
"Are you sure you want to be associated with a murderer?" I asked jokingly, but lowkey serious. If I was her I wouldn't be so quick to open up my platform for someone like me.
"You care too much about what other people think and that's a trait that will get your feelings hurt in the music industry. Me personally, I don't mind a little buzz." That was another thing I liked about Morgan, she was very straightforward. "Why do you even think people have negative opinions about you? Have you read any comments? You'd be surprised how many women can actually relate?"
"That's actually not surprising at all." I said, thinking back to the support group.
I knew a lot of women could relate to me, but I also knew that some people liked to go out of their way to try and find something negative to say. But Morgan was right, I couldn't keep hiding.
I wanted to take music seriously and us doing a video together could be a step in the right direction. A lot of people might have known me because of my case, but now I wanted them to know me as a singer.
I stayed over at Morgan's place for another two hours before heading home. I wish I could sit and talk with her all day because the conversations we've had are gold. She knows so much about this business and I was thankful for her sharing some of that knowledge with me.
Now that she was no longer signed to a record label, she does her music as an independent artist. On top of doing music, she also has her own cosmetics line as well as her YouTube channel. That was another thing that I really admired about her - her hustle.
Once I made it home, I noticed Elijah's car in the driveway. It's been a little over a month since he came to visit from Atlanta and he's been gone most of the time. He hasn't been home, he hasn't been at the studio, I'm not sure where he's been. I was glad he was here now though, maybe we could finally have a moment to catch up.
"Hey, stranger." I said once I saw Eli in the kitchen fixing a sandwich.
"Wassup?" He said as he spread mayonnaise on his bread slices. "Where you coming from?"
"I was at Morgan's."
"Who's Morgan?" He asked with confusion covering his face and that's when I realized I haven't had the chance to tell him about me meeting Morgan due to his absences.
"Morgan Taylor - the singer. I met her a couple of weeks ago when I sang at Escape, she was singing there too and we hit it off."
"Why the hell was Morgan Taylor singing at a bar? And did I just hear you say you sang at Escape? Hell must be freezing."
"Haha, very funny." I said, grabbing a plate so I could fix a sandwich as well. "Yes, I did sing at Escape and I did so good, you should've been there. I'm thinking about singing there again sometime next week, you have to come to that one."
"Next week? My flight leaves tonight."
I stopped fixing my sandwich and stared as he poured himself a glass of juice. I knew I must've heard him incorrectly.
"You're leaving tonight?" I asked, shocked. "Were you even going to tell me? It seems like you just got here and now you're about to leave?"
"Of course I was going to tell you, it was a last minute thing." He said, calmly. A little too calm for my liking. "I've already been here longer than I expected. You knew I was going back to the A, that's where I live."
"But we've barely spent any time together since you've been here, you haven't even been around like talking about. Plus, I wanted you to help me with my music."
I hated how nonchalant he was being about this whole thing. I may have been blowing things out of proportion, but I didn't care. Yeah he was here for over a month, but I barely saw him the whole time he was here and I missed my brother.
"Essence, I'm just a phone call away, you know that. Besides from what I've heard, you're on the right track. You're killing it in the studio and you even got over your stage fright."
"Yeah, no thanks to you. You haven't helped me at all in the studio, you just put me off on Amon like I was something you didn't feel like being bothered with."
Mon' had been extremely helpful to me and I was beyond grateful. I thought Elijah would be the one helping me, but he hasn't been back to the studio since he introduced me to his best friend. Mon' didn't seem to mind though, he never made me feel like I was a burden.
"That's not true." He claimed. "You wanted to get in the studio, so I got you in the studio. Don't act like I just threw you to the wolves. Mon' is not just my best friend, he's my business partner too, he knows just as much about music as I do."
"But I wanted it to be you." I admitted. "I thought you came here for me, but clearly I was wrong. I don't even know why I thought that. You didn't catch a flight when I got arrested. You didn't visit me at all the three months I was in jail, you just sent me some stupid ass letter. And you didn't even think to call me after I got released, all you could do was shoot me a text. So, clearly you don't give a fuck about me and that's fine."
I walked out of the kitchen before he could respond with more excuses. I was pissed and I couldn't get to my room quick enough. Ever since Eli moved to Atlanta our relationship has been strained.
My relationship with Jeremiah only brought us even further apart and I was hoping during this visit we could fix things. I couldn't understand why he was here if he didn't come for me. He could've stayed his ass in Atlanta.
Once I made it to my room, I slammed the door and laid across the bed. Instead of dwelling on the fact that Eli was a horrible brother, I decided to get my notebook out and work on a song. Amon was going to help me record again tomorrow, so I had that to look forward to. He even said he'd teach me some tricks with the soundboard.
After an hour went by, I heard my room door open. My face frowned up instantly thinking it was Eli, but it was actually my little sister.
"What are you doing?" Emani asked as she walked in with her arms full of toys.
"Nothing, just working on a song."
"Oh." She said, dropping all the toys on my bed. "You wanna play with my new bracelet kit?"
I knew the minute I sat my notebook down and picked up a toy, she was gonna have me playing all night, but I was fine with it. That's what you do when you have siblings, you make time for them.
She already had a trash big brother, unbeknownst to her, and I didn't want to add a terrible big sister to the list. So, I spent the rest of my night helping her make bracelets and playing with whatever other toys she wanted to play with.