•Damon's POV ~
"Mr. Knight, are you listening to me?" The doctors voice cuts through the room, bringing my attention back to him.
I turn my head to look at him and raise an eyebrow, "Can you not see that I'm with my wife?"
"I understand that you want to be alone with her, but I need you to understand that it's been almost two months." He lets out a sigh and puts the pen that he's holding in his coat pocket. "Sir, during the first three weeks, your wife didn't show any signs of progress at all."
"I don't give a fuck how long it's been! I'll wait fucking years for her to wake up if I have to!!" I argue, venom laced in my tone.
"Mr. Knight!" He raises his voice with a hint of annoyance. "We needed you to sign a consent form after the third week stating that you give us permission to take your wife off of the ventilator. I know you don't want to hear this but she isn't going to wake up. Now, I need you to sign the consent form."
One, did this piece of shit just raise his fucking voice at me? Two, what kind of doctor talks to the family of his patients like that? Three, who the fuck does this bald mother fucker think he's talking to?!
I gently place Roxie's hand down and stand up before walking over to him. He tries to take a step away from me but I quickly wrap my hands around his throat and lift him up, strangling the life out of him.
"Do you know who the fuck you're speaking to??!!" I ask through gritted teeth as he tries to pry my hands away from his neck. "Who the fuck do you think you are telling me that my wife isn't going to make it?!"
"S-sir, I'm sorry." He apologizes, his face turning a deep red color as he struggles to breathe.
"Get the fuck out before I rip out your tongue and shove it down your fucking throat!!" I yell, before throwing him towards the door.
He stumbles and trips over his own feet, causing him to fall down but he quickly gets back up and runs out of the room, closing the door behind him.
I blow out a breath of frustration and walk back over to Roxie's bedside. Sitting down on the chair, I grab her cold hand and hold it in between my own hands before kissing her palm.
"I'm sorry for yelling, baby. That dumb fuck was pissing me off." I apologize to her in a low tone.
Looking over Roxie, I can't help but admire her. Even in her current state, she's still the most beautiful woman I have ever laid my eyes on.
Her skin is pale and cold all over, she hasn't moved at all... not even a tiny inch. The color in her hair is fading and she has a tube going down her throat that's breathing for her.
As much as I hate to admit it, the damn doctor is right. She didn't show any signs of progress during the first three weeks and even after that, she still hasn't.
I place her cold palm against my cheek as tears fall down my face, "You can't leave me. Please don't leave me, baby."
The tears blur my vision and I blink them away so that I can look at my wife clearly. Her chest slowly rises and falls with every breath.
"If you leave me, I won't be able to live with myself. I can't raise the kids on my own. I need you, my love." I whisper while closing my eyes.
Every time I talk to her, I expect to hear a response back but all I get is silence. The only sound in the room apart from my voice is the machines that she's hooked up to. The one that keeps track of her heartbeat echos throughout the silence of the room.
"Why can't you just wake up? If you wake up, I swear I'll take you home and keep you in my arms forever. I'll never let you go, baby. I'll never let you out of my sight ever again." I lean down and kiss her forehead. "All you have to do is wake up."
I sit and watch her, waiting for any signs of movement. Waiting to see if her beautiful eyes will open up once again.
When she doesn't move or open her eyes, I blow out a deep breath and stand up. My fingers run through her hair and I look away from her with tears in my eyes.
Before leaving her room, I lean down to kiss her head. My lips linger there for a few moments and then I walk out and make my way up to the rooftop.
Once I get there, I walk to the edge of the roof and lean over, looking all the way down to the street. The people at the bottom look like a bunch of tiny ants running around.
"You're not going to jump are you?" Sarah's voice cuts through my thoughts, causing me to stand up straight.
I turn around to face her and see her with a worried expression. She's standing a few feet away from me with her arms crossed over her chest.
Sarah came back to New York a week after the attack at the mansion and Roxie getting shot. Charlotte had called her to let her know everything that happened and Sarah came back as soon as she could.
A week after she returned, we all attended Theos funeral. Marcus was obviously messed up about it the most. They grew up together after all and were practically brothers.
Sarah has always been calm in situations like this and she does her best to keep everyone else calm. With the life that we live, it's good to have someone like her around.
"No, I'm not." I tell her while walking away from the edge of the roof. "What are you doing up here?"
She shrugs her shoulders, "I could ask you the same question. In all honesty though, I figured you might want to talk."
"Well, I don't." I respond, sounding more rude than I meant to sound.
I walk back over to where I was before and look out at everything. All the buildings, cars and people. Sarah follows and stands beside me, letting out a low sigh.
"That's fine if you don't want to talk. You could just listen instead." She says, still looking out at everything before us.
I roll my eyes and turn to her, "Look, I love you and all but I don't want to hear it."
"Well, that's too bad then because you're going to have to hear it." She raises her voice as she finally turns to face me.
I raise an eyebrow at her but don't say anything. I'm really not in the mood to argue right now. I just want my damn wife awake and in my arms again. Is that too much to fucking ask for?!
"I'm sure that you heard this about a thousand times already, but I'm going to repeat it and hopefully it'll be the last time you hear it." She says, before sucking in a deep breath and looking up at me with sadness in her eyes. "I know that this is hard for you and it'll most likely be the hardest thing that you'll ever have to do... but you need to let her go."
My jaw clenches with anger and I look at everything else around me except for, Sarah. I swear if I hear one more person say this shit to me, I might just kill everyone.
"Damon, I have no doubt that she's in a lot of pain right now. Do you really want her to suffer like that? Stuck in a hospital bed with a tube down her throat that breathes for her." She places her hand on my arm and looks at me with sympathy. "Roxie wouldn't want this, Damon."
"Don't." I push her hand away from me and take a step back from her. "Don't you dare tell me that bullshit and stand there acting like you know how I feel. You don't."
Sarah looks at me with tears in her eyes and gives me a sad smile before saying, "Well, maybe I do know how you feel."
I look at her in confusion, "What are you talking about?"
She sucks in a deep breath before turning back towards the view, "Antonio Walker. That was the name of my fiancé."
"Wait, you were engaged??" I question with a shocked expression on my face.
She slowly nods her head and says, "Charlotte and our parents were the only ones who knew about it. We were planning on visiting so that we could give the news to everyone else."
"What happened?" I ask, wanting to know more and why she looks so sad.
She looks down at her hands as tears fall down her face, "Antonio had went with my dad on a job. I don't know what job it was because they never told us anything about it. Long story short, they were gone for a few days and when we finally heard from dad, he told me that Antonio was at the hospital and that he most likely wouldn't make it."
Sarah wipes away the tears from her face but they keep on falling. I've never seen her cry before except for when we went to her dads funeral. She's always been such a happy person ever since we were kids.
After calming herself down, she continues, "When I got to the hospital, they showed me to his room and what I saw made my heart break. I'll spare you all of the details except that he was on a ventilator because he couldn't breath on his own. Everyone kept telling me that he most likely wouldn't wake up ever again. I didn't want to believe them so I kept him on the ventilator for weeks, hoping that he would open his eyes. After a while, I realized that he was probably suffering and that I was being selfish. I didn't want to let him go, but I didn't want him to be in pain either while I waited for a miracle to happen."
She looks up to the sky and slowly breathes in the air, "He was and will always be my first love. I loved him too much to be selfish, so I had to let him go. Even though he's not alive by my side, he'll always be in my heart."
A sudden gust of cool wind blows by and I notice a small smile forming on Sarah's face. She places her hands in the pockets of her jacket and turns to me before saying, "I like to believe that he's watching over me, making sure that I'm safe. That every gust of wind is him passing by or every time I get a sudden chill, it's him standing right beside me."
We both fall into a peaceful silence as I look her over. She looks like a weight has been lifted off from her shoulders.
I walk up to her and wrap my arms around her body, hugging her tightly to myself as I say, "I'm sorry about your fiancé. If we had known, we could've been there for you."
She hugs me back and rests her head on my chest, "I wanted to grieve alone. Besides, no one else knew about us being engaged so I think it would've been sort of weird to just call and let you all know that he passed away."
Instead of responding to that, I continue hugging her for a few moments longer before kissing the top of her head and pulling away.
"I'm going to go check on, Vanessa." Sarah shakes her head with furrowed eyebrows. "She looked like she was having pains earlier but I don't know for sure. She kept telling everyone that she was fine."
After Sarah leaves, I decide to stay out on the rooftop for a while longer by myself. A whole bunch of different thoughts run through my mind and I don't like any of them.
I'm not sure how long I stayed here exactly, but the sun is going to be setting soon. I make my way back down to Roxie's room and as I'm walking down the hallway, I run into my mom who's holding Lily's hand.
"Figlio, where have you been?" She asks with a worried expression on her face.
"I needed to get some air." I respond, hoping that she won't continue to ask any more questions.
She opens her mouth to say something but quickly glances down at lily before looking back up at me and saying, "Well, Lily wants to see Roxie now."
"Fine, I'll take her with me. I'm going back to her room anyways." I tell her, before leaning down to pick up Lily in my arms.
"We need to talk when you get a chance." She says, as she places a hand on my arm.
I look down at her hand and shrug it off before replying, "No, we don't."
She looks hurt by my response but at the moment, I don't really give a shit. Both my mother and father came back to New York as soon as they heard about what happened. Jax was the one who called them.
I don't even know where they were going in the first place which is why I questioned them about it as soon as I spoke to them. They both have been a little too secretive ever since the masquerade ball and no one seems to know why.
Every time I bring it up, they shut the conversation down or refuse to talk about it. I don't need to talk about my feelings with two people who are keeping things from me.
When I get back to Roxie's room, I sit lily down on the edge of the hospital bed. A happy smile grows on her face as she touches Roxie's arm.
"I drew a picture for you, mommy." She says, as she pulls a folded up paper out of her pocket. She unfolds the paper, holds it up in front of Roxie and points to what she drew. "That's daddy, me, my baby brother and that's you."
She continues talking to Roxie while I stand back and watch. I love seeing Lily talk to Roxie about different things even though Roxie isn't talking back to her.
The sound of Lily's voice calling me snaps me out of my thoughts, "Daddy?"
"Yes, princess?" I respond, while walking up to where she's sitting on the hospital bed.
"When is mommy going to wake up?" She asks the question that I never wanted her to ask me.
I don't have an answer for her because even though I've told the doctors and everyone else that she'd wake up, I'm not so sure that's true anymore.
Luckily I don't have to answer her question because the door opens and my dad walks in. My eyes land on the small baby that he's holding in his arms... my baby.
"Son, we need to talk." My dad says, as he begins to walk closer.
"Stop." I hold my hand out and shake my head. "Get out. I don't want to hear anything you have to say."
"Well, tough shit because I'm not going anywhere." He argues, causing me to raise an eyebrow. "I need to talk to you and that's final."
I stare at him for a few moments in silence before walking over to the corner of the room, "What do you want?"
He comes up to me and lowers his voice, "How are you doing?"
"Look, say what you need to tell me and then get the fuck out so I can be with my wife." I harshly say, making him suck in a deep breath. "I don't have time for fucking small talk."
"You want me to get straight to the point?" He asks, while taking another step closer to me. "Alright, when do you plan on holding your son?!"
"Don't speak to me about my fucking son!" I speak with anger, trying to keep my voice low so that Lily won't overhear us. "That's none of your damn concern."
"It actually is my concern when everyone else is taking care of him instead of his own father." He responds, gently rocking my son in his arms. "You haven't held him not once. You haven't even looked at him. You don't know what your own son looks like. How do you think Roxie would feel about that?"
"Shut the fuck up!!" I raise my voice as I yell, causing lily to slightly jump. I glance at her and lower my voice again. "Keep my wife's name out of your fucking mouth!"
I turn my back on him and look out of the window with my hands shaking by my sides. Tightly clenching them into fists, I release an uneven breath of air.
Please, take care of our kids. Those are the words that she said to me just before she shut her eyes.
I hate to admit it but my dad is right. If Roxie was awake right now, she'd be pissed to find out that I haven't held or even seen our son for nearly two months since he's been born.
The truth is that I've been taking some of my anger out on him. I know it was wrong and none of this is his fault, but I was angry that the doctors saved him and my wife had to be put on a damn ventilator.
I've missed nearly two months of our sons life because I let my anger take control. I didn't hold him after he was born because a small part of me blamed him for Roxie having to be hooked up to machines.
The way I acted wasn't fair to my baby boy and I'll always regret blaming him. I can't take back my past choices but I can do better with both of my kids from now on.
Turning back around to face my dad, I hold out my hands and say, "Give me my son."
He tries to hold back a smile as he steps forward and gently places my son in my arms. His head rests on my left arm as he sleeps peacefully.
For the first time, I'm finally looking at my son. He looks like a mini me. The only difference is that he has Roxie's nose.
Holding him in my arms now, my heart swells with love and pride. I can't believe that Roxie and I made a tiny human together. How could I have been angry with such an innocent little soul?
My dad clears his throat and looks at lily before saying, "What do you say we go get some ice cream with nonna?"
"Yeah, let's go!!" She excitedly shouts with a huge smile.
He laughs and walks up to her, "Say goodbye to your mama first."
Lily turns around on the bed and kisses Roxie's cheek before saying, "Bye, mommy. I love you a lot!"
After she says her goodbye, my dad places her on the floor and grabs her hand. He gives me a light smile before walking out of the room with, Lily.
Slowly, I walk back up to Roxie's bedside with our son and look down at her. He moves a little bit in my arms and a cute yawn escapes his mouth.
I smile down at him before sitting in the chair beside the hospital bed, "Baby, this is our son, Lorenzo Blaze Knight." Carefully, I lay him down right next to Roxie. "Lorenzo, meet your mommy."
Sitting back in my chair, I watch the both of them with a loving look in my eyes. Our son sleeping beside his mom is the best view I've seen.
A couple of minutes pass before Lorenzo starts moving and making little noises. He looks like he's about to start crying. I quickly stand up from the chair and pick him up, gently rocking him in my arms.
"Shhh, it's okay. I got you." I softly whisper just before he begins to open his eyes.
When they open, I notice that he also has Roxie's emerald green eyes. I smile down at him as I gently touch his face. He lifts his hand and wraps his tiny fingers around my index finger, holding it in a tight grip.
"I love you too, son." I tell him before leaning down to kiss his forehead. "Do you want to see your mom?"
He makes a small noise while giving me a smile, which I take as a yes. I sit him up on my arm while holding the front of his body with my right hand so that he won't fall forwards.
As I hold him close to Roxie's side, his eyes land on her face and he smiles again. He begins moving his legs and arms as if he's excited to see her.
My heart fills with love and I hold him even closer to her. Once he's close enough, he reaches out and puts his hands on her face.
"Our baby boy is smart." I tell her while smiling down at them. "He's knows you're his mom. I love you all so much, all three of you. I have everything I could ever want. I have my little mafia princess, my little mafia prince and my beautiful mafia queen."
Lorenzo starts to cry so I lay him back down in my arms and softly rock him side to side. His eyes slowly begin to shut and it doesn't take long until he's completely knocked out again.
I sit back down in the chair with Lorenzo sleeping in my arms as I look over at, Roxie. With my right hand, I grab ahold of her left one and give it a gentle squeeze.
"I'm so sorry, baby." I apologize as all of the happiness that I was feeling leaves me. "I'm sorry that you had to go through so much shit. I'm sorry that you never got to have a moment without any drama. I'm sorry that I let you down. I told you that I would protect you and I failed."
How could I have let this happen? I was supposed to be able to keep her safe. What kind of fucking mafia boss fails at protecting his wife?! Why did she even agree to marry me? I mean sure, I would've still put the ring on her finger but she never said no.
I put her through so much pain, especially with that psychotic mistake I regret even looking at. My choices in the past weren't the best ones and because of them, I hurt her.
She was in so much pain and I never stopped to try to take the pain away or anything. Who am I kidding? She's probably still in pain because of me.
I never wanted this to happen. I love her so much, even more than my own life. I can't stand knowing that she's hurting because of me. It breaks my heart in a million different ways.
Sitting by her side, holding her hand and watching her closely, I can't help the thoughts running through my mind. The thoughts that I never wanted to think about.
After a couple of more minutes just sitting there in silence, I let go of her hand and stand up. Releasing a deep breath, I make my way out into the hallway and head towards the waiting room.
There, I find my parents standing in a corner of the room talking. Lily is sitting with Jenny and eating her ice cream. V is pacing around the waiting room with Jax staying close by her side, and Sarah has just hung up the phone.
I'm guessing everyone else is at the mansion or some other place. When Sarah looks up and sees me, she immediately walks over with a concerned look on her face.
"You okay?" She asks as she puts her hands in her pockets.
"Yeah." I respond before hesitantly shaking my head. "No, umm... can you hold Lorenzo for a while?"
Her eyebrows furrow in confusion but she nods her head and holds out her hands, "Of course I can."
I place him in her arms and she holds him protectively, the same way a mother would hold her baby. That just has me wishing Roxie was the one holding him right now.
"Are you leaving?" Sarah asks as she fixes the blanket that's wrapped around Lorenzo.
"No, I'm..." I pause for a moment, thinking back to our earlier conversation. "Getting rid of her pain."
Sarah's head snaps up and she looks at me wide eyed before letting out a sad sigh, "I'm sorry."
Instead of responding to her, I glance at Lily and Lorenzo before running a hand down my face and walking away. When I get closer to Roxie's room, I spot one of her doctors at the nurses desk.
I walk up to him and say, "Go find Doctor Greene. I need to speak with her."
He looks up from the papers that he was reading and crosses his arms, "Sir, Doctor Greene is with her husband and daughter right now."
"Fuck." I mumble under my breath before asking, "Do you know when she'll be back?"
He shakes his head, "No, but I'm guessing it wouldn't be anytime soon. When she was on the phone, it looked important. After she hung up, she informed me that she had a family emergency."
I try to keep my anger from rising with this news, but I guess there's nothing I can do. Doctor Greene has been a huge help to us and I wouldn't pull her away from her family when they're having some sort of emergency.
"If there's anything you need, I'd be happy to assist you, Mr. Knight." He says as he looks at me nervously.
Good, he should be nervous after the way he was running his damn mouth earlier. Maybe I should just slit his fucking throat right now.
"Where's my wife's other doctor?" I ask, my face showing how much I'm annoyed.
"He got pulled into surgery not that long ago. I'm afraid it's going to be hours until he's free." He tells me before rubbing the back of his neck. "Do you need my help with something?"
I roll my eyes, not seeing any other options and say, "I've made my decision."
He tilts his head in confusion for a few seconds before his eyes widen and his mouth drops open in surprise, "O-oh, umm... okay." He clears his throat and stands up straight. "You could go ahead and spend a few moments alone with her if you'd like while I get the consent forms."
I release a long breath of air and instead of saying anything to him, I turn around and walk back to Roxie's room. Once I'm inside and by her side again, I grab her hand and press my lips against her skin.
"My beautiful queen." I whisper, looking down at her with tears in my eyes. "I'm going to make your pain go away."
A few moments later, the doctor comes in and walks over to me with a clipboard in hand, "I just need you to sign the consent form."
Without wasting a moment or taking time to rethink my decision, I grab the clipboard from him and he hands me a pen. After signing where I needed to, I give it back to him and turn around to face Roxie again.
I never in my life since I've met her thought that I'd ever have to do this. I really didn't want to. It feels like I'm killing her myself and I know that it'll haunt me for the rest of my life. I just couldn't bare to sit back while she's most likely suffering in silence.
The doctor goes around to the side where the machines are at while I hold onto Roxie's hand again. He begins to take her off of the ventilator but I just keep my eyes glued to her face the entire time.
It finally hits me that I lost her and my tears come pouring down my face. I won't be able to spend another night with her in my arms. I won't be able to kiss those perfect lips of hers and tell her how much I love her. She won't be there with me to see our kids grow up.
My chest starts to hurt and I wonder if that's what it feels like when your heart is breaking. My vision gets blurry because of the tears that have built up in my eyes. In all my years of living, I have never cried as much as I'm crying now. That's all because of her.
She's the woman who stole my heart and she's the woman who's going to take it with her.
The noise coming from the electrocardiogram grabs my attention. When I look up at the machine, all I see is a long flat line on the screen. Roxie no longer has a tube going down her throat to help her breath. She's not breathing at all anymore.
"I'll give you a few minutes alone." I hear the doctor say, but I don't pay attention to him.
When the sound of the door shutting reaches my ears, that's when I completely break down. I sit at the edge of the bed and bury my face in her neck, crying my heart out.
I don't want this to be real, but I know that it is and that's what hurts even more. My tears pour out nonstop as I push my face deeper into her cold pale skin.
I'm not sure how long I stayed crying while practically laying on my wife but after I calmed down, I stood up and wiped the tears from my face.
Looking down at her, I decide to do one last thing that I know I'll never get the chance to do again. I hold her face in my hands and lean down before placing my lips on hers and kissing her softly.
Her lips aren't soft and warm as they used to be, but I don't care. All I wanted was just one last kiss from my wife. Even if she isn't kissing me back this time.
♾♾♾♾
I know this wasn't the happiest chapter ever but I hope you all enjoyed reading it nonetheless. Thank you for your support! Love, Author Lynn!🖤
I'll see you guys in the next chapter but before I go, Gimme Kiss!😘