❂ ❂ ❂ ❂
It has been two days since the storm and I hadn't talked to Bellamy since. Which meant no sleeping in his tent, which meant no sleep. I actually hadn't talked to anybody except Finn. I sat alone in my tree outside camp. Despite Miller's attempts to get me to stay inside the wall, he backed down once I threatened to kick his ass. The smell of the trees and the fact I was away from everyone else lightened my dark mood. I heard footsteps approaching. I pulled my knee closer to my chest hoping whoever it was would leave me alone.
"Lacey? You up there?" I heard Bea yell, to be honest out of all the people in the camp it could've been, I was glad it was her.
"Yeah." I answer loud enough so she could hear.
"Can I join?"
I shrug even though she can't see me, "Sure."
Within a minute she was on the platform in the middle of the tree with me. she sat with crossed legs looking at the different scratches I had made in the tree. She looks back at me sending me a small smile.
"Are you okay?" She asks, "I heard about everything that happened."
"I'm okay, I just haven't slept in two days and I like being up here because I'm away from everyone else."
"Nightmares?"
"Yeah, I just can't stop thinking about my dad, and Bellamy with the grounder." I explain leaning my head against the branch behind me.
"Why does that bother you so much?"
"It didn't bother you?"
"Of course it bothered me. But you seem to be the person taking it the hardest other than Octavia. And we all know she's practically in love with the guy. What's your excuse?"
"You'd understand if you knew how I grew up." I reply placing my head on my knees again.
"Then tell me." She says, "I'm your friend, you can tell me anything right?"
"Right, but I'll do you one better. I'll show you."
She furrows her brow, but she doesn't stay confused once I turn around and lift up my shirt. I haven't been able to look at my scars back there in a long time, but I knew they were there and I knew there was an abundance of them. I felt her her hand graze one before she pulled my shirt back down. I turned back to face her and noticed how her eyes remained down. She didn't look up.
"I'm sorry Lacey." She starts, she looks up at me, "Bellamy didn't know that. He also thought what he was doing was right."
"So did my father." I state plainly.
She nods again looking off before meeting my eyes again, "But there's a difference. Bellamy didn't want to hurt you, he wanted to save you, protect you. He was willing to do anything to do that. Your father wasn't."
I chuckle, "And what makes you think that?"
"Are you really that blind?" She laughs, "The way his looks at you, how he got scared when you disappeared with John, and how terrified he was at the thought of digging your grave. He has feelings for you."
"He barely knows me." I mutter looking down to the ground.
"Lacey, come on, you mean to tell me you have no feelings towards him?"
I stay silent. Thinking back to the almost kiss by the lake and how whenever he touches me electricity sparks through me. I knew the answer, but I didn't like it. And I didn't want to say it out loud, because that would make it real.
"That's what I thought." She says rolling her eyes, "What you saw may have scared you, but the idea of losing you scared him a hell of a lot more." She remarked before getting down.
I hate when she's right. I sat there for a few more minutes before getting down. I walked through camp quietly. Everyone was working on creating rations and prepping meat. Though if we were to die it would be exposure rather than starvation. As I walked through I bumped into Clarke who was leaving the video screening room.
"Hey," She smiles, "I was just about to look for you. Can you do me a favor?"
"Sure." I shrug.
"There's an old emergency aid depot, not far from here." She hands me a piece of paper, "These are the exact coordinates. There should be supplies for us, to get through winter. Take Bellamy with you."
"Why Bellamy?"
"He's Bellamy, the protector, leader. You can't go alone, so take him." She explains with an nonchalant shrug, "Plus if you need back up he's probably the strongest person here."
She was right. So I just send her a quick smile before walking into the drop ship. I saw him standing off to the side but he had his back to me.
"Bellamy?" I call getting his attention.
He looks up at me with a sympathetic expression, "Princess?" He asks, testing the water.
I ignore the attempt at reconciliation, for now, "The Ark found some old records that show a supply depot not too far from here." I tell him mechanically.
"What kind of supplies?" He asks walking over.
"The kind that might give us a chance to live through winter." I sigh stuffing my hands in my jacket pockets, "Clarke is sending me and I could use the backup."
"Why are you asking me?" He asks with a smile on his face.
"Clarke told me to." I say with almost no emotion in my voice.
Sure I'm a bitch, crushing all hope he might of had. But I felt like I needed to. His smile drops slightly, but he tried to keep it so it wasn't too obvious.
"I'll get my stuff, meet you in 10."
He gently touches my arm when passing me. It sends a shock through my body. I jump back, from the touch, and my hand finds itself hovering over where he had touched me.
"You can't stay mad at him forever." Octavia states with a smirk.
"Why not." I cross my arms, a determination setting over me, a stupid one but I didn't care at the time.
"Because, you two have the thing."
"What 'thing'?" I laugh raising my brow.
"You know, both of you like each other, neither of you will admit it, but it's true. And besides, you're happy when you're with him. With crappy childhoods like ours, we deserve to be happy." She says standing up and coming over to me, "Don't be the person who is standing in your way."
I step back and walk away without another word. I find myself checking on Finn, who was just about the only person I wanted to see right now. When I walked into his tent his face lit up and that was all I needed to see, to feel a thousand times better.
"How are you feeling?" I ask while lifting his shirt and cleaning his wound.
"Weak, bored..." He winces as I clean it, "Grateful to be alive."
"Well, if you want to stay that way, you should rest." I tell him with a small playing on my lips.
"I'll tie him down if I have to." Raven laughs, but she sounds desperate and I'm not sure why.
"I'm gonna be out of camp today. Can you change his bandages in a few hours?" I ask turning to Raven who nods.
"Wait. Where are you going?" Finn sits up grabbing my arm.
I shrug nonchalantly, "It's a little assignment from The Ark. It's nothing to worry about."
"It's not safe out there." He argues.
"Finn, Lacey's is a big girl. She can take care of herself." Raven pushes.
Bellamy pops his head into the tent, causing Finn to roll his eyes and drop his head onto the pillow.
"Princess..." Bellamy trails, "Let's get a move on."
"Make sure he stays in bed." I tell Raven who nods. I look back to Finn and wrap my arms around his neck, "I'll be back soon." I smile pulling away and kissing his cheek, "I love you."
"Love you too." He smiles back, "Be safe."
I nod and turn towards Bellamy, who's jaw was severely clenched. We walk out of the tent together in silence. And it wasn't comfortable, not like it's been in the past. I hated it. I don't want us to be this way. But at the same time I don't know how to fix it or how to let what I saw go. I didn't quite know what to think about the two of us anymore. He led us over to the ration table where I picked up a few, but he loaded tons into his bag. How many does a guy need?
"What's with all of the rations? This is only a day trip, you know?" I say starting to laugh.
"A lot can happen in a day." He states plainly with a low voice, before starting to walk to the gate.
"Okay then." I sigh walking a head of him.
Anger set over me, mostly because he had been short with me. Yeah it's stupid, and yeah I should get over it but it seems that Bellamy had the biggest affect on my mood. Which was driving me crazy, because I didn't want him to have that much control over me.
"How long are you going to be mad at me?" He suddenly asks after we've been walking for a couple of minutes in silence.
He walks next to me and stares at the side of my head, until I look over. His eyes were trained on me. I look away and smile shaking my head. His tone and the look on his face cause all anger to wash away, there it was again his affect on me. The hold that was too strong to break.
"I'm not angry, anymore. I'm just trying to be. It's impossible though, to stay mad at you." I look down to the ground but I see him smile out of the corner of my eye, "I know you were just trying to get the antidote for Finn."
"You're wrong." He says quickly.
"What do you mean?" I ask turning towards him.
"I know Finn is a good friend of yours, and he's one of us, but I cared more about you getting it. I was trying to get it for you." He says locking eyes with mine again.
I smile and look away. Heat began rushing to my face. I both hated and loved that feeling. I hated it because that means Bellamy could see how red my cheeks got. I bit my bottom lip while nodding.
"Okay, so I know you were trying to get the antidote, for me, you had all the right intentions."
"But?"
"But it scared me, Bellamy." I explain turning back towards him. I had stopped walking and so had he, "I saw my dad. And it's more that that too. I was scared of you." I saw the way his face dropped when I said that, I could tell I hit a nerve.
He reaches out touching my arm, "I'm sorry, Lace. I never wanted that. I just wanted to protect you."
I nod slowly, turning away and starting to walk, "I know that, or at least I'm starting to. And I'm grateful for that. So, thank you."
"You're welcome." He smiles.
The silence falls back over us, but this time it's comfortable. And I can't help but smile. This is what I liked, this is what felt right. He pulled out two of his rations and handed one to me. I plopped a nut into my mouth.
"You know the first dropship is gonna come down soon." I start, "Pretty sure you can't avoid Jaha forever."
"I can try." He replies with a low tone, obviously something he didn't want to talk about, "I don't see you talking to him either."
"That's different." I shoot back.
"No it's not." He argues.
"Yes it is." I state sternly and before he can reply I change the subject, even though I brought it up, "The depot is supposed to be around here somewhere."
"You're being extremely evasive." He tells me with a roll of his eyes.
"No I'm not." I reply with an extreme amount of defensiveness in my voice, "There's got to be a door."
We begin to walk down the small hill. I notice the old ruins of tall buildings in the distance, as much as I wanted to explore I had to stay focused on the mission. My mind kept wandering despite how hard I was trying to focus.
"Maybe he'll be lenient." I suggest, but I knew he would shoot it down.
"I shot him, Lace. He's not just gonna forgive and forget. And before you try to push me to see him, you should see him."
"It's different with me." I argue, "We should split up to cover more ground."
He nods, "Stay within shouting distance."
I walked further down the hill. The idea of seeing Jaha scared me. I knew I would have to eventually, but I wasn't ready to be told once the exodus ship comes I'll be dead. I didn't want to die. After all I've gone through to live, I wasn't allowed to die. Not like that. As I walk around my foot lands on something hard. Something metal. A smile spread across my face as I moved the dead grass and debris out of my way to reveal a door.
"Bell," I call after him, he looks over to me, "I found the door."
He trotted down the hill and he moved more of the leaves and things off of the door. I tried pulling it open but it didn't budge.
"I think it's rusted shut."
"Watch your foot." He instructs as he pulls out his ax.
I take a step back. Once I'm out of the way he swings his ax down a couple of times before he thought it was good enough. We both pull on it to open it. There was a staircase going down, but after that it was darkness, something I wasn't fond of. I swallow my fear and take a step into it. I pull the two flashlights, I had packed in my bag, out and hand one to Bellamy.
"Really think this place hasn't been touched since the war?" He asks me as I pass him the light.
"A girl can only dream." I mutter looking around.
Cobwebs were everywhere. Which to surprised me. If this place was designed to survive nuclear warfare, how the hell did spiders get in here? We walk down a second flight of stairs and I stop when we come across a skeleton laying across the stairs. I swallow the bile threatening to come up and keep walking down the stairs.
"Hell of a place to die." Bellamy comments.
It smelled awful down here, everything had water coating it. Either that or it was something else. Which made me feel even more disgusted. The cobwebs seemed never ending.
"This place it disgusting, so much for living down here." I say, "Damn it. Anything left down here is ruined." As we started looking around there was almost nothing here, "They must have distributed most of the supplies before the last bombs went off."
Bellamy opened a box of light sticks and lit them up. He tossed them down the room to give us some other lighting. I walked over to a shelf with a box on it, when I opened it I was met with stacks of bright orange blankets.
"I found blankets." I chirped.
"Excited about a couple of blankets?" He questions with a derogatory tone.
"Well, it's something." I reply, I was happy about my find and no shitty attitude of Bellamy's was going to ruin it, "And something is more than what we have now, which is basically nothing."
"How about a canteen or a med kit or a decent fricking tent?!" He asks angrily looking around.
"Bellamy, it'll be fine."
I kept looking around the selves that I had found the blankets on. Hoping to find something else that had been left untouched. I jumped and nearly screamed when I heard one of the barrels crash into the ground.
"Goddammit, Bellamy! You scared the shit out of me!" I yell at him.
"Oh, my God." He says getting down on the ground and looking at something I can't see.
"What?"
I make my way over to him where he was holding something. Guns. The barrels were full of guns, and Bellamy looked all too happy to find them.
❂ ❂ ❂ ❂
Hey guys another update, hope you like it!
Idk what else to really say...
I've been working a bit on the sequel for this book so I'm getting pretty excited about all of that. And as I watch season 4 I get excited picturing where Lacey is in it.
Anyway...
Questions Time: What did you think of Bea's talk with Lacey? And what do you think will happen with Lacey and Bellamy in the next chapter?
Random Question Time: What's your favorite song right now?
Mine is Don't Leave by Snakehips
•callie•