Max found Polly in the betting shop one morning. "Auntie Pol, mummy's gotten sick again."
"It's okay, love. It's natural." Polly assured the little boy. "Come sit with me, I'm sure she'll be down in a moment."
"'Cause of the baby?" He asked, climbing up onto Polly's lap as she worked in her office.
"Yes, darling. But she'll be alright."
They had told Max about the baby a little while after they got Tommy's letter back. Though it was bittersweet, Tommy remarked that he was happy and hoped that he would be home soon. Though he didn't give false hope about being there in time for the birth. At that point in Amelia's pregnancy, everyone had given up hope on that happening. Especially as more news about the war hit the homefront. And more men were starting to come back.
It was horrifying. Men burned, deformed, missing limbs. Their stories started to circulate around Birmingham, the things they'd seen. The things they'd done, what others had done. The horrors they'd witnessed. Knowing the Shelby boys were in the middle of all of that, made Amelia sick to her stomach. She began to go to church with Polly every week. But it never seemed to be enough, so she started to go multiple times a week, sometimes every morning. Even when there was no service, she would go and sit in the empty church and pray.
She was never particularly religious. Her parents seemed indifferent to the church, as they were more focused on succeeding in life. They never saw prayer or submission to God as a way to move up in the world.
Amelia felt almost guilty that she was trying to use religion. Trying to comfort herself with prayers to a God she never really believed in. But at that point, she felt so helpless that she needed to do something.
The priest of the church began to recognize her as she went to church more often. He offered to sit with her for company.
At first, Amelia just agreed to let him sit with her. Then, she began to tell him about her fears and her doubts.
Telling a man of the cloth about her lack of faith was a bit funny to her. But Father Carr didn't seem to mind.
"Sometimes I think that it's all just a cruel joke," Amelia admitted one day. Max was with Martha and the betting shop was quiet, so she took the free time to visit the church. "To take Tommy away from me while I'm pregnant."
"Some things are hard to explain. We ask why God would allow for war to happen. We ask why he allows hardship in our lives. It is beyond our knowledge. Sometimes, religion doesn't have all the answers like some people think."
Amelia looked up at the stained-glass windows that allowed some of the dim light to come in. The particles of light mixed with the hazy smoke from the candles lit at the altar. "I just want him to come home to me."
~~~~~~~~~~~
Danny Owens was the first in the Small Heath group to get seriously injured. While out of the tunnels, in one of the trenches, he was hit by a piece of an artillery shell.
"For fuck's sake, if you're gonna get injured, don't get hit in the neck," Arthur said as he held a shirt to Danny's wound right at the base of his neck.
"It just grazed me," Danny replied, trying his best to stay calm and breathe.
"It'll be okay." John kept him propped up so he wouldn't bleed to death.
They all learned early on that no one liked tunnelers. They were seen as a danger if they were nearby. So, no one liked to see them in the trenches. That meant they had to take care of themselves and each other.
"Hold 'im still," Jeremiah commanded as he examined the wound, dowsing it in alcohol.
Danny let out a scream through his gritted teeth as he fought John and Arthur's hold.
"No more getting hit with whizz-bangs, Danny," Tommy commanded, holding Danny's feet down so he didn't kick anyone.
"Yeah, or else we'll start calling ya that." John grinned.
The men chuckled, even getting a bit of a smile from Danny. "Alright."
~~~~~~~~~~
It became clear after the first trimester, that this pregnancy would not be as easy as Max's had been. Amelia began to have spells of dizziness and nausea that could last for days. Polly said it was because of stress, so she tried her best to keep the woman calm and at ease. But there was nothing she could do about the boys still being over in France.
Everyone was frightened, even Amelia although she wouldn't admit it. She felt afraid that she was failing her second child before they were even born.
Max was starting to pick up on the anxiety around his mother and became very clingy to her. He would wail and cry if she was even in the next room. She couldn't leave him for more than half an hour before he would panic. He began to sleep in her bed, terrified she would disappear in the middle of the night.
"He doesn't want you to go anywhere." Polly surmised one afternoon when Amelia could finally get the young boy to go down for a nap. "He remembers Tommy leaving so he doesn't want you to leave either."
Amelia felt so helpless. She couldn't even comfort her own child because the world was in such chaos.
Polly had to stop her from reading the news or listening to the radio. She wrote to Tommy telling him to keep his letters to his wife light. She said Amelia couldn't handle any bad news.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
On Max's sixth birthday, Amelia tried her best to keep everything together. She threw together a party. Polly closed the shop for the day and all their friends and family gathered. Well, the friends and family that were still there and not serving overseas.
Amelia bought toys for Max, some she signed 'daddy', just so her son felt like Tommy was near. He had already sent a letter wishing his son a happy birthday and wishing he could be there to celebrate. Max seemed sad his father couldn't come to attend the party, but it wasn't any different to any ordinary day. It had been over a year since the Shelby boys had left. Next March would mark two years and that was something Amelia wasn't ready to face.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
On the morning of the party, Amelia found Max looking at a picture of Tommy in his uniform.
"You alright, love?" She asked softly. "Are you excited for your birthday?"
"Yeah." He replied quietly, his mind off wandering.
"What are you doing with daddy's picture?" She wondered.
"Dunno. Just looking." He shrugged, not looking away. "Don't wanna forget what he looks like."
Amelia couldn't shake that feeling of heartache the rest of the day. Even during the festivities and among familiar faces. She felt utterly alone. She didn't know how she was going to survive another year without Tommy.
After Max had opened all his gifts, everyone was sitting in the parlor enjoying each other's company. Amelia felt distant, standing near the couch, half-listening to the conversations around her.
Then, she picked up on a conversation Charlie was having with one of the Strong men who had come to celebrate with them.
"Yeah, right on Farringdon. Those fuckers." Charlie muttered. "Twenty-two people dead. Only a matter of time they set their sights on Birmingham."
"For fuck's sake." The other man shook his head. "Thought this was a war among countries, not a war on the innocents. They wanna bomb each other, go ahead, but they can't be fucking bombing regular people like us."
Without having much access to the news under Polly's advice, Amelia hadn't heard of the bombings or attempted bombings on British soil. Suddenly, shock and panic overtook her entire body. It felt like her heart stopped completely and her vision went black.
Luckily, Charlie was able to catch the pregnant woman before she hit her head on the coffee table. The party ceased the fun and immediately rushed to Amelia's aid. Polly shoved to the front and checked on her.
"Call a doctor!" She shouted when she saw Amelia's pale face.
Max began to cry for his mum as Ada comforted her nephew best she could.