A/n: I'm crying positions is fucking good
I'm so excited for the whole album this week😭💜
She saved us
#ari4president
And also my babygirl made a story so please go check it out by pressing her user which I will put at the end of the chapter
Enjoy! I love y'all! And stream the whole album when it comes out!
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Ariana POV
So far, today's been nothing but busy and I know it's only going to get a lot more hectic.
I left early from my hotel room, lightly kissing a sleeping y/n on her cheek before leaving.
I miss her so much and I know I fucked up but her words that she said two days ago really hurt me too. We both need to work on our communication but if I'm being honest I've never been great with these things.
I don't know what to say or how to say it, and that's what has been my problem in my past relationships. I'm scared because I don't want to lose her. I'm scared because if I lose her, I'll lose a part of me. I'm scared of letting her slip out of my hands.
I'm scared because if I'm being honest, she's the best thing that's happened to me in a long time. I've never been in a relationship with a woman before but she's made everything seem effortless.
With her it's just easy, I'm at peace when I'm with her. I feel like I'm on top of the world when she holds me.
I feel like I'm cloud 9 when she kisses me. It feels like forever with her.
I know I've said that for every single one of my past relationships but this is different.
I have a sense, a knowing that she's meant to be. She's everything and more to me. She makes me feel like a normal person, not just some girl who wears a ponytail and sings.
With my last relationships, I was constantly reminded of the image I was to set out for myself, It was always 'we can't kiss there's paps Ari', 'remember you have fans Ari', 'management isn't going to like that Ariana', 'save your voice for your show Ariana'.
I can take care of myself and I know my responsibilities. With y/n, it's completely the opposite.
She wants to display public affection but it's me who's stopping her, she never tells me to do or not to do something because of my career, she supports me on whatever decisions I make and the best part of it all is that she's honest.
She's always there and even being wrapped around in her arms gives me such a soothing feeling.
But these past few days have been inner hell for me. Every time I see her I want to just hug her and kiss her and tell her that I love her.
I don't know if she'll forgive me, I mean she's also in the wrong, what she said hurt me and I know she knows that.
I hope we make up soon because I miss her and I need her back.
After I left the hotel room, I went to a few meetings with the crews and management.
I haven't even eaten yet but I'm actually not that hungry, I'm too nervous for the show tonight.
I've been in this industry for a long time and I've been doing this for a while,but my stage fright began to get really bad after Manchester, I have a panic attack before hitting the stage and it's always difficult to settle down.
My mom is always there to comfort me but I'm nervous because tonight she won't be, she is going to be sitting in the audience. I brought Courtney for the first show so she can be a distraction but I don't know if she'll know how to handle my emotions before the show.
Sure she's seen me at my worst but when I tell you that it sucks when I go through full on anxiety and panic attacks it's the truth.
I'm currently on my way to the dome/arena to prepare for my first meet n greet of the tour and I'm so fucking pumped.
My fans are the best and I'm so grateful for them. They made me who i am and I wouldn't be where I am if it wasn't for them.
As my driver passes through the domes front entrance, I notice the extremely long line of fans waiting to meet me.
I bite my lip to cover my smile, it always gets me emotional.
This is only about 1/30th of all of my fans and the fact that they decided to spend their time and money on me makes my heart so happy.
I don't deserve all of this and im so thankful that I've had an opportunity to work with so many incredible people so I can make my music for these lovely arianators standing in line waiting for me.
My driver pulls up to the back side entrance of the arena and guides me to my dressing room where I see josh already waiting for my presence.
"Ariana!!!" He cheers. I giggle and rush over to embrace him I'm a huge hug. "One of many to come, but I cannot believe that tonight is that start of the tour!"
I nod "me either, I'm so fucking excited"
He chuckles "I can tell, let's get you all set up so we can get you looking pretty for your meet n greet"
I smile and adjust myself in my chair so josh can get a better angle.
About 15 minutes in, josh is nearly completed when I pull out my phone and record the process.
I hold my phone in my hands as I turn the back camera on, so I'm visible through the mirror, and smile as Josh does his magic. When he notices that I'm filming, he grins and does a peace sign.
I stop the video and post it on my Instagram story along with my Twitter and type the caption:
'See you tonight Albany'
I instantly get a ton of feedback and love on both of the social media apps.
After a few more minutes Josh sighs "all done honey"
I look up and grin at my iconic hairstyle. "Thank you Josh! I love you so much, I'll see you and Daniel for hair and some makeup touch-ups before the show"
He nods "have fun, your meet n greet outfit is on the clothing rack, Julia set your clothes for you already"
"Thank you!"
"Don't worry about it girl, I'll be out of your hair now so you can change"
With that, he exits allowing me to change into a long sleeve sweater and some long thigh high boots.
I leave my room with roshad already waiting outside "this way" he says. I take a hold of his forearm and follow him to the entrance of the arena for the meet n greets.
I notice the huge curtain and line, the nostalgia hits like a fucking truck.
I wipe my sweaty palms on my sweater and take a deep breath.
"Let me know do you need anything, we'll begin shorty" roshad says and he leads me to the photo area where Alfredo is already standing with 3 body guards surrounding the small enclosed area already.
(A/n: I've never been to a Meet n greet do idk how this works, sorry if I get it wrong)
"First up" I hear a man say as the curtain opens revealing an adorable human.
"Ariana!!! Ahhhh!!!" She starts to sob. I frown and quickly hug her "Awh don't cryyyy, I'm so happy to see you, what's your name?" I respond.
She sniffs and looks up at me like I'm the most unreal thing in the entire universe. I'm taken aback, I always am, people look at me like I've saved their lives, like I've inspired them, like I'm astonishing to them and I'll never get tired of seeing the look on their faces when they first meet me.
It's something I wouldn't give up for the entire world.
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"You're adorable! I love you,bye Casey! I'll see you at the show!" I wave as the last fan leaves behind the curtain.
I exhale a breath that I didn't realize I was holding in and look to Alfredo who gives a big grin and a thumbs up.
"Thanks fredo" I smile.
He nods and picks up his camera to leave.
I exit the curtain and alongside Roshad, I head over to the back stage where the dance crew is already at.
I wave to Brian and Scott and look around for y/n. When I don't spot her I go over to the twins. "Guys where is-"
I'm cut off "don't worry about it, she's just with Courtney in the dressing rooms, sound check starts in 30 minutes, we'll all be there with you when it starts"
I take a deep breath "thank you"
For my sound check, I have a few minutes before some vip fans come in for some questions and personal Arianator time. I smile at roshad, signaling that I'm alright from here, allowing him to set up for the show in a few hours.
I walk up to the sound and production manager Melanie, who's already turning a few knobs and testing the mics.
When she spots me she stands up straight and hands me the hand held microphone. "Ms.Grande! We have everything set if you want to test it out and warm up, the band is already out there tuning and warming up themselves"
"Please It's Ariana, and sure thank you" I grab the mic and in-ear monitor, allowing Melanie to attach the connection box to the back of my jeans underneath my sweater and grin as a man opens the curtain for me to head on stage.
When I do get on stage,it's like a brand new world, Johnny, the guitarist is warming up and brad, the drummer is setting up song with Erica who is the pianist.
They look up and wave in greeting. I beam in response and lift the mic up to my lips. "Hmmm oh yeah" I Sing.
"God is a woman yeah hmm" I remove my left earpiece and turn to Melanie and say into the mic "can I get more feedback please"
She nods and adjusts something on a turn table.
I sing the chorus from god is a woman again, a lot more powerful. This time I turn to Melanie to give her a thumbs up.
She smiles back and slows me to warm up. I do some vocal runs and warmups for a good ten minutes before I walk over to Johnny.
"Hey can we do the second verse leading up to the bridge for dangerous woman" I ask.
He nods and strings his guitar "course Ms.Grande"
I wait for my cue and begin to sing "nothing to prove and I'm bulletproof'n know what I'm doing"
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Y/n POV
"Maybe, I just miss her a lot" I say to Courtney as we walk out of my dressing room.
She nods "I get it and I know she misses you too, look-" she grabs my hand and interlocks it with hers.
"I promise everything is going to be alright"
I grin and remove my hand from hers to wrap my arm around her shoulders "thanks court"
Suddenly I stop in my tracks when I hear my girl singing.
My heart swells In my chest as we come up closer to backstage and I can hear her more clearly. Her voice is angelic, I can listen to it all day.
I close my eyes and day dream and I enjoy her acoustic (electric guitar) version of dangerous woman.
"Y/n?" I snap out of my trance as Jace taps my shoulder.
I open my eyes and raise an eyebrow at him "it's time for sound check, Ariana and the Vip fans are already there, common"
I nod and follow the crew on stage, my heart pounding in my chest.
When I finally come on stage with the crew, I then notice the loudness coming from the limited amount of fans cheering and screaming out for Ariana.
As they see me step out on stage too, they roar even louder "Y/N!!!HIIII"
I chuckle and wave and I sit on stage beside Scott who's sitting next to Ariana.
"Hi guyssss, holy shit I can't believe this is happening" Ariana says into the microphone.
They cheer and hold their hands out.
"Save your energy for the tour, you're going to need it trust me" Scott shouts, calming everyone down with a laugh.
"Okay let's talk, how many of you are actually from here?" Ari asks the crowd.
Less than 10 people raise their hands. "How many of you are from out of state?"
Nearly the entire crowd raised their hands. "Jesus Christ and you came to see me?"
They cheer and I hear one person in particular yell "of course bitch I love you"
I chuckle and scan their faces. It's incredible to see them look up to Ariana with so much passion and admiration. The fact that she's changed so many lives through her music makes me have so much respect and adoration for her as well.
"I love you too! Oh my god uhm okay well as you can see I'm not alone up here, everyone welcome my dance crew!" Ariana says.
The crowd cheers and I hear a few call name out.
"One by one I want all of them to introduce themselves and tell you a fun fact about them too, I need it to be dead quiet in here because their gonna be talking without a microphone and In case you didn't notice there's a lot of you guys and big fucking arena they need to speak loud in" Ariana says.
They clap politely and pay attention as Scott waves to everyone.
"Sup guys my name is Scott Nicholson but I'm pretty sure most of you know me and uh one fun fact is that I've been Ariana's choreographer for about 7 years now" he says.
Everyone slaps and they turn to me. My palms become sweaty and my stomach gains butterflies.
I clear my throat "uh hi guys I'm y/n y/l and-"
They cut me off by cheering and shouting Ariana and I's ship name (ariy/n).
I blush and try to laugh it off. They soon settle down and I continue to talk "one fun fact about me is that I...uhmm oh! This is my first world tour I'll be dancing in"
They clap and a few fans reach out to try and gain my attention.
When I look towards them they wave, I wink back making them squeal and jump up and down.
I giggle and allow the rest of the crew to introduce themselves.
After they've finished, Ariana lifts the mic "The crew and I will be answering a few questions you guys have before we have to go and prepare for tonight with the help of Jayme who will be randomly selecting the fans, everyone say hi to Jayme!"
The woman in the audience that looks like a manager on tour smiles and lifts her hand in greeting as everyone acknowledges her.
Jayme scans the small crowd and picks on a female who's wearing a hoodie with Ariana's face on it.
Jayme tells her something before giving her the mic. "H-hi my name is Abby!"
The crew waves and Ariana says into the mic "hi Abby!"
"Uhm well first of all I love you so much and my question is what's do you think is going to be your favorite song to perform?" She asks.
"I love you way more and uhm...I think break up with your girlfriend" she responds. That makes my stomach twist into knots. Even if we're not really verbal with each other, she still has a way of making me fall weak on my knees.
"Any reason why?" Abby pushes. Ariana shrugs "you'll have to see for yourselves"
Jayme then selects a few more people until she reaches a teenage boy with a pride flag wrapped around his shoulders.
"Hi my name is Sebastian and this question is for both you and y/n" I gulp as he continues.
"First of all I just wanna say, I don't know if the rumors are true what y'all are cute as fuck and honestly you guys made me inspired to come out because i thought that if a celebrity can be openly in love with the same gender then so can I and I'm externally grateful for you guys" he croaks out.
Ariana lifts the mic "baby you are beautiful and you better flaunt that, you deserve to be celebrated and I'm so touched to hear that"
Scott then hands the mic to me "the fact that I made a difference in someone's life is incredible and you deserve to love who you want to love, and this is not only for you but it goes for the rest of the people in the lgbtq+ community,.....come out on your own time, no one can pressure you to do it only you know when it's right and that's coming from me, a bisexual Latina who came out when I was 23 but hey! That's when I was ready" I reply.
Everyone claps and Scott and Jace who are on my sides run my back and tell me how great I responded.
I hold the mic in my hands and wait for Sebastians response "thank you, that's true and no one could've said it any better, uh anyways my question to you and Ariana is, are you all selected dance partners for the tour?"
I blush and turn to Scott in hesitation ,who just whispers in my ear.
I nod and lift the mic "maybe, you'll see tonight"
That makes everyone go crazy and I'm pretty sure their going to be awaiting something spectacular and I'm planning on making tonight's show that and more.
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"There you go sweet pea youre all done and you look amazingggg!" My makeup artist says as she finishes a few final touches after my hair was completed.
I look up in the mirror "I look great thank you!"
She nods with a smile "my pleasure hun, I finished a little early so you have a little under ten minutes before the show"
I hear the dozens of fans in the dome along with normani finishing her act after social house had gotten off stage and my heart begins to thump out of my chest.
"Thanks Macy! I'm going out to check out norm-"
I'm interrupted by Courtney bursting into my room.
"Y/n I need your help" she says with urgency and desperation.
I furrow my eyebrows "what's going on?" I ask worriedly.
She looks at me with a nervous gaze.
"Its Ariana"
A/n: soooo should I double update? ;)
If I get good feedback I'll update again tomorrow or Friday before the album releases
Eeeeee I loved this chapter though
Stream positions and holy shit her album comes out in 2!days 😭😭😭
I claimed track 5 wbu? AND OMG 34+35? 😏😏
We love a sex album anyways I'm so ready and I love y'all
Stay positive stay healthy and stay safe❤️
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Xoxo, Camrenansnormimah/ brittney
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