Devil's Charm~
The darkest red auric color. Holds untold levels of power and determination to accomplish certain goals. However, this color can be used for both good and evil...present in both villians and altruists.
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"I don't see how that's fair at all, Kan! Just let me pay my condolences, I swear I won't spend more than five minutes there-"
"No, Jeon." Coach Kan's voice is an icicle through the speaker, a freezing, hopeless end to any possibility of seeing Leonardo. "I thought I made myself clear that you weren't allowed to talk to him anymore. What happened to him was unpleasant-"
"Unpleasant! What happened was awful, something that can never be reversed or undone. He'll never get his mother back, and you describe it as unpleasant? Oh, please Kan, just let me say a few words to him. Leonardo Costa is hardy an evil competitor when he's grieving, can't you see that? I'm not going to him as another training Olympian, I'm going to him as another fucking human being."
Kan is silent on the other line for a few seconds. Trainer Snowden was kind enough to let me use her phone to call Coach Kan, but she said I couldn't use it for long, since she needed to make lots of calls. She said she needed to call the Board to make arrangements for a roundtrip flight for Brazil so Leo can attend his mother's wake in a few days, when his mother's funeral is set to take place.
"No, Jeon. Maybe after the Olympics you can talk with him, but not now. You have to focus on training, and if you are distracted by his problems then it's going to show in your routines. Do not visit him. I'm serious."
I wish I could chuck this fucking phone out the window. Seriously, Kan? What kind of cold, uncaring parents raised you to be so fucking heartless?
"Kan, please..." I try again. "Only five minutes with him-"
"No." Kan's voice is sharp, tinged with disapproval. "If you visit him, count yourself out of a coach to the Olympics. You're either all in or all out, Jeon. You can't play halfway, and I won't tolerate this kind of behavior any longer. I've trained years with you, seen you grow from a child into a world-class athlete. You've always been dedicated to winning, to competing strong...to being the best version of yourself you can be. But lately, you've been veering off that path. You don't have the same determination you had. You don't have the winning spirit in your eyes. I don't know what the fuck happened to YOUR plans, but MY plans haven't changed. I expect you to win at the Olympics. If you visit Leonardo Costa one more time, it's a nail in the coffin. I'll drop the title of your coach after pulling you out of the Olympics."
My heart nearly stops.
Not going to the Olympics?
Not carrying out the fate which I've been destined to achieve since childhood?
What would all the practice I've gone through be for? Everything would be wasted, the cost of practice, of coaching, of injury and mental strain...the effort, and grueling hours spent training...the blood from countless ripped hands, all the sweat rinsed down the drain during after-practice showers...the tears of failed routines, the chalk inhaled...my parents' encouragement, South Korea's support...
It would all mean nothing.
Nothing.
"Okay." I whisper, hardly realizing what I'm saying. "Okay...I won't visit Leonardo."
Coach Kan hangs up his line, leaving me with a beeping phone in hand and an empty heart.
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Jungkook paces the corridor deeply disturbed, biting his nails while his feet stutter out a choppy rhythm.
In no previous time in his life has he ever felt so useless, walking miserably around the complex in his Adidas training jumpsuit.
He's in a position where he can do nothing, can offer no comfort to the person who needs it the most. Leonardo could be ailing miserably by himself, lost to the worst parts of his mind without someone to pull him out.
His mother, his superhero back in Brazil whom Jungkook has heard lots of endearing stories about...is gone forever. The battle fought she fought with leukemia was no fair fight, and no amount of chemotherapy or medication could save her in the end. Fate decided to take her prematurely and break Leo's heart.
Jungkook accidentally bites a chunk of skin off his fingernail, cursing as the area starts to bleed. His feet move faster and faster back and forth in front of the lobby restrooms. His mind is lingering on Leonardo, but a portion of his thoughts are stuck on himself and the threat that Kan said.
"I'm going to the Olympics." Jungkook mumbles aloud in Korean, sucking the blood off his finger. "I'm fucking going to the Olympics."
"Hey, Jungkook...what are you saying?"
Jungkook pauses his pacing to spot the person he has been waiting for.
McKayla Maroney strides up to him, no sight of a smile on her light pink lips. She stops a few feet away, and he studies her hands. He sighs in relief at the sight of her smartphone clasped between her fingers, ready for videotaping. If Kan won't let him visit Leo, then sending a video will have to work for now.
"Oh, nothing...I wasn't saying anything important." Jungkook points at the area behind McKayla, his grim face settling with concentration. "Okay, stand over there, go. Yes, now aim at me, make sure to get my full body in, okay. No, we can't shoot the video by this window...let's go over here. Wait, this window is worse, too bright. The video will have a glare! No, Leo can't see this...let's try filming by those plants. Nope, those are awful, never mind!"
Jungkook scowls at the plants, irritated by their crooked leaning against the walls. Leo won't be happy seeing these horrendous objects in the shot. He'll see how they droop and might be reminded of his mother's death. Jungkook has to make sure nothing sad or forlorn appears in the frame, nothing that might make Leo feel worse than he already feels.
For that reason, Jungkook has been practicing his smile in the bathroom mirror all morning, working on making his grin appear natural and caring instead of revealing the anxiety and sorrow he feels underneath.
"Jungkook...maybe you need to cool down a little-"
"No, McKayla! This has to be perfect! I have to send him this video, and we don't have much time. Kan said I only have ten minutes before he wants me on treadmill, and we've already wasted a minute trying to decide where to shoot the damn thing." Jungkook pounds a fist against the hallway wall, gaining the attention of a few passing female gymnasts. He ignores them, twisting to face McKayla again. "Let's shoot here. This wall is mark-free, and-"
"It looks perfect, yes, let's film here." McKayla raises the phone to eye level. Jungkook frowns, recognizing her tactic of trying to rush him past his critical eye.
But he doesn't have time to contest the wall's capability, and so he smooths down his unkempt hair, zips up his jacket so Leo can't see the exaggerated poke of his collarbones, rolls out his shoulders, and relaxes his face muscles. McKayla gets a nod, and the phone starts recording. Jungkook takes a deep breath.
"Hi, Leo."
Jungkook forces a relaxed, brief grin on his face. He waves gently, staring at the lense and trying to picture the Brazilian watching the video on the other end.
"I heard the news of your mother in Trainer Snowden's office...and I'm sorry. I really am. Your mother was such a kind, caring person in your life, and I know she meant a lot to you."
Jungkook's face fills with healthy sadness, just enough to be considered sad without being depressed. He doesn't want to be overly robotic in the video to Leo, but he can't dwell on melancholy either. He has to cheer Leo up, not hurt him.
"I think...I know that whatever your mother left this Earth with, she was utterly proud of you, Leo. Like you told me, she rooted for you since the beginning, supporting her little Leo in a leotard. She watched you in your meets, witnessed all the golds you won over the years...and she held your hands before the harder competitions to calm you down. Although she isn't here now, I'm sure she's still by your side in spirit, cheering the loudest for you. It's okay to cry, but know there was nothing you could do...she wanted you to go to the Olympics and even if you didn't get to see her...don't take it out on yourself, Leo."
Jungkook's eyes tear up as he speaks, picturing Leo's mother passing away without family at her side. He thinks of how lonely dying without anyone else present might be, and realizes how awful passing away without speaking final words to loved ones would be. Dying in isolation is a fear shared by many humans, and Leo's mother likely felt isolated at her time of departure.
Jungkook winces when Leo's voice suddenly pops into his mind from the day when he was choosing whether or not to return home to Brazil.
"You said...you said I had nothing tying me here, t-to the camp and the Olympics. But I do." Leo had said...
And that something was Jungkook.
Jungkook made him stay. Jungkook prevented him from seeing his mother before she died.
Suddenly, Jungkook's speech falters as his mind fills with doubt.
"Uh...I'm sorry for...for holding you back from seeing her...I...that's all my fault. You, you should have gone back. You shouldn't have stayed here, Leo, there was no point in staying, I ruined it for you! I ruined it...and on top of that, we can't even see each other anymore!"
McKayla flinches behind the phone, and a few bystanders grant the Korean suspicious looks...for good reason.
The Jeon Jungkook is making a pretty big scene, yelling and tearing up for no clear reason. And the McKayla Maroney is filming it. Jungkook knows he has to wrap it up fast, before word of this odd behavior gets out to anyone. Luckily, the other gymnasts are too far away to understand what he's saying, but if they did, Kan might have a reason to take his Olympic spot away.
"I'm sorry Leo..." Jungkook's false smile breaks down, and tears fall freely down his cheeks. McKayla gives him an alarmed look, mouth pursed with worry. "I'm sorry I can't be there for you."
Jungkook pictures the little plush teddy bear with the heart markered on its stomach, and his heart constricts. That was Mrs. Costa's gift to her son...the same bear that Coach Kan had held in his angry hands and thrown across room 333.
Both him and Kan ruined Leo's chances of being happy. Jungkook held him back in Phoenix when he should have gone to Brazil...and Kan forced Leo away into isolation.
Jungkook's realization of the bad treatment they've shown Leo scares him, but makes him bold. The tears that fall from his eyes feel cold and melancholy against his cheeks, but his voice is warm.
"Remember my promise to you? The only I told you about visiting you l-later? I'm keeping that promise, and I don't care if it c-costs me."
McKayla shuts off the camera before Jungkook can break down in a storm tears, urging him away from the prying eyes of other gymnasts.
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"We're sticking with the piked Melissanidis on vault. On high bar you have another release to get the E+D combination points. And...what else? Right. On floor, the press-handstand combo we removed to replace with the flair. More difficulty means higher starting value...wait, Jeon, are you even listening?"
"Hmm?" Jungkook leans forward against the stacked mats, deepening his split. "Yes, I'm listening."
Kan tuts and slaps the clipboard down, eyeing his mentee with disgust. "I thought you said you were fully focused now. Were you lying to me?"
Jungkook mentally groans. How can he be fully focused when Leo's mother just died? But of course, no one knows of his romantic affair with Leo save for Snowden, who's bound by patient confidentiality not to tell anyone. Kan might suspect his feelings for Leo, but he dares not say it out loud.
"I am focused, Kan. I'm at my best weight, I'm hydrated, pushing my oversplits past 200 degrees, and I've watched my routines countless times. Like you were saying, I'm doing a piked Melissanidis on vault, and I have another release on high bar, for the E+D combination sequence bonus-"
"That's enough." Kan juts his chin out at Jungkook, upset at his snarky way of speaking but glad that his mentee wasn't zoning out. "Let's move onto parallel bars..."
For the next thirty minutes, Jungkook goes through a variety of flexibility stretches, from shoulder pulls to splits to back bends. He rolls out his ankles, wrists, and neck, and makes sure to attend to the muscles in his thighs. Kan lays on him all the information he needs for the Opening Ceremony, which is set to happen next week. Two days remain in Phoenix, with the last banquet planned for tonight. Jungkook doesn't expect Leo will attend the banquet, given he's still in mourning, and Jungkook doesn't want to go since he lost his appetite permanently.
"...and that's everything I think you'll need to know." Kan sets down the last of the info sheets, lifting his gaze to rest on Jungkook. "Any questions?"
Jungkook extends his arms above his head, deepening the seated back stretch. "No, I think that's everything-"
"Excuse me! Anyone in here—oh!"
The door to the aerobic studio flies open, admitting another person into the room. The man's eyes are wild, frantic in searching for something. Eventually, he spots Coach Kan and his shoulders drop.
"Where is the medical room on the second floor? I have a gymnast injured down by the pommel horse. Is it down the hall?"
Coach Kan stands up, almost smiling. Jungkook watches with a sour feeling in his mouth as Kan's aura changes to a competitive dark red that seems to rejoice in this man's news.
"Yes, right down the hall. Third door on the left, there should be someone in there willing to help you."
Logan Raisman nods in thanks, briefly eyeing Jungkook's expression of horror before he takes off down the hallway.
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note from authAURA~
hello there.
devil's charm is my favorite color on this planet! did you know? well, now you do.
{insert funnier note here}
goodbye,
izzy.
here is another floor routine from 2017—i gotta say those press handstands are *chef's kiss* and they display how immensely strong he is.
kudos to you, ARTHUR/LEO!