Lost Bronze~
A faded yellow that creeps into brown. Suggests a sickliness in mind, a repetitive thought process that is demonstrably neglectful of physical health.
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"So, the first thing you're going to do when you get there?"
"Sleep." I answer Kohei Fujimoto, who walks alongside me down the gymnasium hallway.
Like my prompt visit with McKayla, Kan allowed me to speak with another gymnast before my late night practice as long as I stayed entirely away from Leonardo. I chose to talk with Kohei, hoping to catch up on the basics for London.
Everyone else in the Road to London camp seems to know all about England, from the nuances in the accent to the tall city buildings. They have spent weeks planning what they're going to do upon arrival. I haven't, of course, since Kan has forced me under a rock for the duration of camp.
'For my protection.' He'd said.
"Sleep? Are you kidding, Jungkook?"
We cross the hallway, striding over to the atrium. During the daytime the atrium is mostly empty, save for a few gymnasts that sit in cushioned chairs by the vast, floor-to-ceiling windows. For entertainment, the gymnasts range from staring at their smartphones to reading books to zoning out on the emptiness of the Arizona skyline. I turn to Kohei.
"What else would I do? The time difference between here and London would make me jet-lagged. Kan wouldn't want that for competition. I have to be well-rested before the big day."
I leave out the fact that even on the big day, all the sleep in the world wouldn't get me a first place medal. Nope, that award is off the table. It's already designated for Leo to wear only.
No matter what, I'll force myself to lose for him.
Kohei motions to a seat by one of the windows, and I plop into it. "Agh, whatever. Sleep is great, I guess, but when I get there I'm going to eat a scone or, uh, fish and chips, or...what else do they have in London? I know they probably have great food, from what I've heard. I just can't think!"
I laugh. Kohei's optimism makes me feel a lot better about the trip.
"Uh, I don't know...tea?"
"Tea?" He shakes his head, musing over the silhouettes of hills in the distance.
The sun is just starting to set, tapering behind the horizon and casting a marigold yellow hue over the sandy ground. It truly is beautiful here, albeit hot as a motherfucker.
"Out of all the foods you could have chosen, you pick tea? That's not food...unless you're on an all liquids diet, haha."
I wince internally. If only Kohei knew the half of it.
"No, I'm not. And I don't even like tea that much." I try not to sound too bitter, but it's difficult.
Kan's strict dieting regimen not only has me tired out easier, but my ribs show now more than ever. If Leo could see them...he would be immensely angry with me, mad that I went against his word not to push myself too hard.
At this point, I can't help turning down food anymore. It's a rotten impulse, a trained aversion towards anything that hints at a possible caloric intake. If my hand picks up a snack, it's automatic nausea. Although I'd like to eat an entire fridge of snacks to feed my hunger, I can only manage to stomach half a snack. It's awful.
I really hope that the final banquet at camp doesn't serve platters too rich or heavy. If so, my stomach might eject it right back out. That would NOT be a welcome sight at a celebratory dinner. Not at all.
"Hey...look." Kohei draws my attention to something on the other side of the room.
When I glance over, I see a well-dressed, tall man wearing glasses. I'd put him in his upper forties...and with those sturdy shoulders and that mature stance, he has to be someone experienced in an athletic field.
A new judge? No...I don't know.
"Who is that?" I whisper to Kohei. He shrugs, enraptured by the power in the man's walk.
Seconds later, the man strides right past us. He briefly makes eye contact, walks a few paces, and then does a double take back at our seats. I'm perplexed as he approaches us with a polite grin on his lips, and a quick glance at Kohei reveals he's just as perplexed.
"Hello, Jeon Jungkook. And Fujimoto..." He pauses, seeming to grasp for something in his mind. "Kohei...yes, Kohei. That's your name, right?"
Kohei nods, taking in this new visitor curiously along with me. We've never seen him around here before.
"Oh, anyway." The stranger chuckles, but I don't know what's funny. "You two are outstanding gymnasts! I've watched a lot of your routines before, and I have to say, I'm quite impressed. Jeon's parallel bars are powerful, and Fujimoto's floor is so graceful. It's a true pleasure to meet you. I'm Mr. Raisman, but you can call me Logan."
Mr. Raisman's aura is bright orange as he reaches his hand out to shake ours. His auric clouds hold the capacity of a leader and the intelligence of someone in the upper ranks of society. The longer I stare, I can see his caring nature...but something in it unsettles me. It's almost as if the bright orange hue is temporary, a façade he's forcing upon himself to appear capable.
Almost as if he's new, potentially inexperienced, and must constantly remind himself that he is powerful. The kind of personality that one might expect out of an enthusiastic college student who hosts crazy parties and tries to justify the usage of LSD at his party by pointing to his good grades.
Hmm.
I'm unsure about Logan. When I shake his hand, the red portion of my aura leans forward, out to him. It's the portion of me that usually reaches out for Leo. I'm briefly taken aback by this stranger's impact on my energy. Something about him...
Logan pulls his hand back.
"You're probably wondering what I'm doing here. I'm here to prevent, er, I mean, to help the top male gymnast in the world train. I'm Leonardo Costa's new temporary coach."
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"You need to gain weight."
"You need to answer my question! Stop avoiding it."
Jungkook stomps his foot on the floor of Trainer Snowden's office, irate at being ignored. He's in here for his fifth and final checkup before the Olympics, and the trainer that is supposed to help him figure out things is purposely avoiding his questions. Snowden scrunches her nose, crossing her arms from the spot behind her massive desk.
"If I told you what you wanted to know, I would be breaking patient confidentiality." Snowden rubs irritatedly at her brow. "Jungkook, I can't."
The Korean stomps his foot again, throwing down his patient evaluation sheet, which lists his BMI and body fat percentage results. His BMI is technically falls in the 'normal' category, but his body fat percentage is around 5%, a dangerous number for his health, Snowden says. If he lost five pounds of muscle, he would be considered underweight. Thus, she's attempting to persuade him into eating more before he goes to London.
"Don't throw a fit." Snowden eyes the fallen sheet with disdain. "I can't tell you and that's that-"
"But I was the one who told you about the abuse, so I deserve to know! What happened to Leo's father?"
Snowden balks, shaking her head. Diligently, she bends down to retrieve the form, folding it neatly in her hands. Jungkook death stares at her, his desperation to know the truth turning him brusquely rude. His frustration is aurically palpable as he sits still in the chair, hoping the trainer will tell him the truth.
"I...Jungkook, you can't know that information from my mouth. You're just going to have to ask Leo-"
"I can't ask Leo! Remember? My coach won't let me see him! Trainer Snowden please...please tell me."
The trainer lifts her brows in defeat. She purses her lips, holding her hands on her hips. Jungkook waits.
"Okay, I'll tell you. But first tell me why your coach won't let you see Leonardo. I'm aware of the training arrangements and how they're changed recently...and I've heard from other gymnasts that you sit at a secluded table for banquets. Mr. Garcia himself asked me the other day why you were isolated in training sessions. Did your coach know about the abuse or something? But why would he isolate you from Leo? I believe you know the answer."
Licking his lips nervously, Jungkook tries to step around the truth. "Coach Kan hated seeing me with my number one competitor. He called it fraternizing with the enemy, and from that day on told me I couldn't hang out or train with Leo again."
"From that day on? What day are you talking about?" Snowden studies Jungkook intensely, trying to find an answer in his nervous pallor.
"Um...me and Leo were hanging out in my room. Watching a movie." Jungkook shifts around in the chair, picturing the warm shower water caressing Leo's bare flesh. "But anyway, that isn't the point. What happened to Leonardo's father? Is he gone from camp permanently? Did he get in trouble?"
"You answer this first." Snowden demands, resting her hip against the desk. "I don't believe that your coach would let you be friends with Leonardo for four weeks, only to push him away before the fifth week. It doesn't add up. What did Leonardo do to bug Coach Kan? Why didn't Kan push Leonardo away sooner?"
"He didn't know Leo was hanging out with me. And no, Leo didn't do anything wrong to irritate Coach Kan. He never did."
"Hmm." Snowden's eyes light up. "Why didn't Kan know you two were hanging out?"
"Uh...because like I said, Kan didn't want me hanging out with the enemy, so I wanted to keep it secret-"
"Were you two involved in the drug scandal?"
"And—what? No! No no no...I've never even taken a drug in my life-"
"How did you know about the drug scandal if I've never told you before?"
Snowden's rapid-fire of questions throws Jungkook for one. He blinks aggressively, worried she's trying to frame him again. Last time it was the locker vandalization, and this time, drugs?
"McKayla told me about it, okay? I swear I'm innocent. I don't even remember the names of the drug enhancer performance thingys she talked about. I swear! Leo is innocent too. Why would the top two gymnasts take drugs, anyway?"
"You're right." Snowden sighs.
For a moment, she seems to think, to muse over the various knick-knacks covering her desk. Jungkook feels himself grow uneasy as her gaze switches onto him, tearing apart his figure to determine the truth. Silence grows between them as thick as molasses, and Jungkook awkwardly knits his fingers together, waiting for her to speak. After a minute, she laughs sadly, tearing her stare away from the Korean gymnast to the sunny landscape out the window.
Out of nowhere, she speaks.
"You know Leo loves you, right?"
Jungkook freezes.
His mouth drops at the woman, widened eyes stinging with the shock of her sudden injection. Nonplussed and unable to speak, Jungkook can only gape at Snowden's triumphant aura. His ears ring with the word love repeatedly, a cantata banging within his skull, trailing red tails around his mind.
Leo...loves him? How would Snowden know such a thing?
"I know everything, Jungkook." Trainer Snowden walks over to his paralyzed form, setting a gentle hand on the back of his chair. She chuckles then, staring off into the corner of the room. "Unlike you, Leonardo has confided in me about his crush since the beginning of camp. Every week he came in here with something new to share about you. He spent whole sessions talking my ear off about how amazing and kind you are to him, and how much he likes you but wasn't sure you liked him back. Despite all his happy shares, he never told me about the abuse that his father inflicted upon him, though. So when you told me about it, I was horrified, and it suddenly made sense why he clung on to you so strongly. He needed you, that light in his life."
Jungkook's mouth opens, closes, opens, and closes again. His mind is numb with the news, heart racing with the idea that Leo shared news of his infatuation freely with another individual. Snowden senses his surprise, nodding to confirm her story.
"I'm not lying. When Leo lost you because of your Coach's orders, he was miserable. He actually came in here and cried that day. Said that it might've been the last day he'd get to see you in camp before the Olympics...before he had to return home to Brazil after the competition. He was inconsolable. Leo's really attached to you, you know, and I'm glad you're there for him. I wanted to hear about the relationship out of your mouth, but you kept avoiding my questions..."
Snowden's voice tilts into melancholy, and Jungkook watches her closely.
This woman tried to get it out of his mouth, tried to lead him to say it, but he never did. And for good reason. Why would Leo trust her so easily? Jungkook supposes Leo might be missing his mother, and wanted a maternal figure to speak with.
"So he...he loves me?" Jungkook feels rising enthusiasm pool in his guts. Of course Leo loves him.
"Yes, for a while now." Snowden snorts, fixing her long black ponytail behind her purple blouse. "He told me after the first week that he fell in love with you. After the English teaching sessions, he said he was a goner, completely head over heels. From a year long crush to fully in-love."
The English sessions? Jungkook cringes as he thinks about those. The entire time his nose was buried in textbooks trying to think up a lesson plan for the Brazilian, he ignored Leo's stare, assuming he was just waiting patiently. Leo loved him since then? But they were so...so different to each other then.
"Wow...I...um, you aren't, you don't think it's wrong to be, erm...to be, well, you know when a man and a man um-"
"Gay?" Snowden smiles. "Nothing wrong with that. If it's who you are, it's who you are. Thinking it's wrong is like thinking your black hair is wrong for being black. That doesn't make sense, does it?"
Jungkook gradually smiles. "No...I guess it doesn't make sense..."
A brief period of silence settles into the training room. The new knowledge that Leo fell in love with him from the get-go is appalling, and Jungkook considers his first memories with Leo. In under a month, the Leonardo Costa has fallen in love with him and been his lover several times. From awkward bathroom handshakes, to stretching partners, to English lessons and movie nights. The ways things have changed. Jungkook giggles to himself at the thought.
Snowden pats the top of the chair a few times, her joyful face molding into a more serious cast. "Oh, right. I hate to interrupt your laughing, but I need to tell you about Leo's father now."
Jungkook stiffens before the trainer goes on.
"Leo's father got in trouble by the Board, who decided there was enough telling evidence on Leo's person and enough value in your witness testimony to get him removed from camp. Mr. Costa defended himself by saying tough love was part of the training process, but the marks on Leo's jaw proved to be too substantial. He was expelled, and Leo now has a temporary coach, named Logan Raisman."
Jungkook nods. "Thank goodness...I'm happy his dad is gone. Leo never liked that guy-"
"Leo actually defended him. He tried to get the Board to make his father stay. To keep him as a coach."
Snowden shuffles uncomfortably on her feet. Jungkook's brows knot in consternation. That was the last thing he expected to hear.
"What? No, that can't be true. Leo wouldn't want someone who hits him helping him train! That's..." Jungkook shakes his head, dumbfounded. "When did this happen?"
"Last night. The mini hearing was held in Garcia's office. Your name was made secret for obvious purposes-"
Snowden gets cut off as the phone rings on her desk.
It thrums loudly, ringing a gurgling cry into the office space. Jungkook's stomach, which has gone from confused, to pleased, to worried over the course of this meeting with Snowden, now fills with full alarm. His body acts because of some unnamed stimulus, jolting into action. He stands up, pointing at the phone, but doesn't understand why. Snowden frowns at him before lifting the phone slowly off the hook and bringing it to her ear.
"Mhm...yes, this is. Yes." Snowden pauses, listening.
Jungkook studies her aura carefully, searching for signs of how the conversation might be affecting her. Even a blip of joy or sliver of sadness might be useful for determining what's happening on the other end.
"Okay...what about him?"
Jungkook picks the colors apart...anxiety, worry, fear...it isn't looking good. Is Coach Kan calling?
"Oh...oh. I see...that's really unfortunate. Oh...okay, I'll...yes, yes. But his father can't come in here...I'll check on him. Okay, yes. I'll give Leo your blessings, Mr. Garcia. Okay, goodbye."
Jungkook stands on wobbly knees, shaking his head adamantly at Snowden's aura. In her typical violet rays of compassion and understanding are new gray spikes of deep shock and unfortunate grief.
Paired with Leo's name, Jungkook already knows what Snowden is going to say before she says it.
"Jungkook..." Snowden stares at the floor. "Leonardo's mother has passed."
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note from authAURA~
hello.
avoid lost bronze with all of your might! although negativity on its own is bad, repetitive negative thoughts that are compulsive in nature are absolutely dangerous. don't listen to them.
unless, of course, your hidden, semi-demonic devil-on-the-shoulder voices hint at trying to form a murder plot to assassinate me! i'd be delighted to thwart your murderous plans and challenge the knife that you have destined to stab into my chest or the gun you have mentally aimed at my head. (or infinitely many more categories of premeditated murder)
(also, p.s., i hope your murder plans do not entail hand-to-hand combat, because you will experience swift defeat. your own notorious, calculating agenda might reverse on the flip of a dime...and your own head will be upon a platter of mine own!!!)
aside from murder...well, what else is important? nothing. someone, please try to kill me.
love,
izzy.
this video has more to do with conditioning, arguably the most important aspect of gymnastics! here, arthur mariano (also known as arthur nory) takes us through his arm routine on his youtube channel. no, i don't understand portuguese but i don't need to in order to understand eye candy *wink* (and determination, of course)
DUDE'S RIPPED AND CUTE WHO AM I KIDDING? alksdjf;aksdjf