oh jeez okay first listen to in a dream by troye sivan holy cRAP that album s l a p s. i. its so good.
also i've gone back to my phase where all i want to do is sleep, skateboard, and take really long, hot showers where i just sit on the floor and vibe (sometimes cry), and uhh yeah thats a vibe, so expect more angst ahaha oops.
anyway!! this is an iwaoi one shot because i adore them. it's,,, pretty angsty but i mean its vibey and thats all that matters. i did edit it though woohoo. its,, 2800 words oops
song: in a dream by troye sivan
~~~
Oikawa covered his ears and let out a low scream, so rough that no sound even came out. He was simply yelling just to feel the way yelling feels, to let out all that anger and pain without the sound behind it. He clutched at his brown locks and crumpled into a ball, pulling his knees into his chest and shaking as he took short, heavy breaths. He couldn't help but gasp for air, considering it felt like he couldn't breathe as he sobbed his heart out.
He tugged on his hair again and brought his hands down to his knees to pull them even closer into his chest. Before long, his hands were moving once again, this time reaching for a small ballpoint pen and throwing it across his bedroom, smacking against the door with a loud crack. Oikawa took a deep breath—this time forced and shaky—and stood up slowly, moving over to the pen, which was now lying on the floor a few feet away from the door. He picked it up and threw it again, this time in the opposite direction. It hit the wall by his bed and plopped onto the white sheets, it's fall softened by the fluffy mattress.
Where the pen now lay, a phone sat next to it, its blue alien phone case facing up to the ceiling. Hesitantly, Oikawa grabbed it, taking a second to get his hopes up before turning it on. Maybe, just maybe, he'd received a text message from the one person he wanted to talk to, maybe a missed call—he would even settle for a like on Instagram.
His tears momentarily paused as he flipped over his phone and looking at the notification center. Nothing, absolutely nothing from Iwaizumi, his boyfriend (who was dubbed "iwa-chan is secretly an alien (*⁰▿⁰*)").
Oikawa slid back onto the ground, dropping his phone onto the floor next to him and sliding it under the door to his closet, watching as it disappeared underneath it with ease. He took another deep, shaky breath, and the tears came back at full-force, if not stronger. His chest heaved, his hands shook, his eyes watered, and he hated it. He hated how worked up he got over one goddamn person. One goddamn person who he had been friends with for eighteen years—almost his whole life, considering they met at age six—and dating for two!
Ever since Iwaizumi had gone to America for training, Oikawa had been left alone without his best friend and boyfriend by his side. Iwaizumi had promised he would talk to Oikawa as much as possible, but his responded went from taking three minutes to three hours to three days, and it had already been a whole day since his last response to Oikawa's "goodnight ╰(*'︶'*)╯♡" and since then, he had sent another good morning text and a few others about random things, only to be left on delivered.
He needed immediate responses, and he was not getting that at all, not even on the rare occasion when they called. Oikawa made it a point to call Iwaizumi at least once a week, usually on Saturdays, when he was off work, and Iwaizumi only answered once or twice a month. When he did, he would either be half-asleep or doing something that required his attention, so his responses would be delayed, and Oikawa was not there for it. This had been going on for months, if not longer.
After hitting the wall with the pen another three or four times, Oikawa's unsteady breathing calmed down a small bit as an idea popped into his head. He was standing in the middle of his room, panting and holding the pen in his right hand. He processed the idea again and again, turning it over in his head and partially thinking it through. All of his crying had worn him down to the point where he could barely see any negatives to his idea.
So, he walked into his closet and grabbed his phone from the floor, turning it on and opening it up to Iwaizumi's contact. Oikawa typed a quick message and then stared at it for a long, long time, holding his finger over the send button without actually sending it. Then, suddenly, he took a deep breath and sent it before he could chicken out.
oikawa tooru the alien king
iwaizumi
oikawa tooru the alien king
i think we should break up.
~~~
The next morning, Oikawa woke up with a throbbing headache, still in his work clothes from the day before. After getting up and drinking some water for his head, he walked back to his bedroom and picked up his phone while he went to his closet to change.
As he stripped off his shirt, he opened his phone, going straight to Iwaizumi's contact just like he did every morning. He pulled a clean shirt on over his chest and looked down at the small device, ready to send his daily "good morninggg iwa-chan!! have an amazing day :D." However, he took one look down at his phone and his breath hitched.
oikawa tooru the alien king
iwaizumi
(read 4:27 am)
oikawa tooru the alien king
i think we should break up.
(read 4:28 am)
iwa-chan is secretly an alien (*⁰▿⁰*)
i'm sorry, what?
(sent 4:31 am)
Oikawa cursed under his breath. He cursed himself, he cursed his impulsiveness, he cursed the fact that he had access to his phone in a time when he wasn't able to think. Then he cursed his stubbornness.
There was no way Oikawa was going to admit to his mistake. Like, it's Oikawa. He was perfect, right? Yep. There was a reason he appeared that way so much. And if he were to own up to this and explain it, it would not only make Iwaizumi laugh at him so hard he would barely be able to breathe, but it would also hurt Iwaizumi's feelings a lot—the fact that Oikawa was thinking such horrible things because of his work in America would be painful for him. Iwaizumi wouldn't admit it, but it would bug him a lot. He would start to feel horrible about being in America for work, and that wasn't what Oikawa wanted,
So he did what any sane person would do: Leave the message on read.
~~~
Five months slowly rolled by. Oikawa was still at the same job with the same people (Well, except for his coworker, Kyoutani, who had quit three months ago), and he was doing fine. Yep, just fine. Absolutely peachy. It wasn't like he thought about Iwaizumi every day, no, not at all.
It wasn't like he thought about his mistake every damn day.
Okay, that was clearly a lie. Not a day went by where Oikawa didn't think about his ex. There wasn't a day where he didn't mentally beat himself up for his stupid, hasty decision that night.
It took him three months to realize that, hey, maybe stubbornness wasn't a good reason to let friendships end, but once he did, it was too late for him to go back to save his relationship with Iwaizumi. He was too much of a coward for that.
"Oikawa-san!" someone said next to his desk. "You're zoning out again."
"Ah, my apologies," he explained quickly with a small bow. "I was just thinking."
"I know what will help you real fast!" his coworker said. "You need a drink, man. My treat."
"Oh, no, it's okay, you don't have to."
"No, I insist. I think it could help. Just one drink?"
Hesitantly, Oikawa looked up, giving a soft, grateful smile to his coworker. "Ah, okay. Thank you, Yahaba-san."
"Do you want to head out now? It's already half-past nine."
"That sounds good."
~~~
Usually, Oikawa was a flirtatious drunk, always going around and telling crappy pick-up lines to all the cute people in the bar. But, he only did that when he went drinking with Iwaizumi, and he hadn't done that in a long, long time, not since before he and Iwaizumi had started dating. Once they got together, they only drank together, usually in smaller, less-crowded bars or just at home. But more recently, Oikawa had just been drinking on his own, only on some of the worse nights. So, tonight, he only had a single drink—it just wasn't the same without Iwaizumi.
Oikawa hiccupped and looked over at Yahaba, who was almost done with his first drink, and then looked at his hands. "I'm s-sorry," he mumbled, rubbing the edge of his class with the tip of his finger. "I can pay for tonight."
"I don't think money is your biggest worry right now, Oikawa-san. What's bothering you?" Yahaba asked, voice quiet over the roar of the bar.
Suddenly, Oikawa burst into tears, putting his face in his hands as he sobbed. His shoulders shook, his chest heaved, and he let himself fall apart in front of his coworker. "I'm sorry," he said shakily, wiping his tears as much as possible even though they kept falling. "I-I ruined my relationship with my boyfriend over a stupid, impulsive decision. I miss him s-so much."
"What do you think you need to do to fix this?"
"W-what?"
"You should apologize to him. Maybe that could save your relationship."
"But how? I doubt he wants to talk to me anymore."
Yahaba thought for a moment, taking a small sip of his drink as he did. "Do you know where he lives?"
"Uh, yeah, why?"
"Go."
In Oikawa's slightly-intoxicated state, Yahaba's idea made perfect sense to him, so much so that it sounded like an absolutely wonderful idea. And because he didn't learn anything from the last time he made a 'good' decision, he started to nod slowly and soon, his nod got more and more sure until he was finally able to full agree with the idea.
"Okay," he said, downing the rest of his drink, "okay. I got this."
"Yeah, Oikawa-san!" Yahaba cried, starting to get a bit tipsy. "Go get your man!"
~~~
In the dark, midnight sky above, thunder rumbled through the dark clouds, making Oikawa jump as he crossed the vaguely familiar street to get to the apartment complex he had once been so used to visiting. The storm has been approaching since before he left the bar, coming closer and closer as if it was following Oikawa. He flinched as a cold, wet raindrop smacked his head, soaking into his hair and making him shiver slightly.
He clutched the sides of his jacket, trying to keep himself warm as the rain fell harder around him, soaking through his clothes and into his skin. He felt sick to his stomach and his chest felt warm, the effects of the alcohol finally hitting him.
By the time he got across the street, the rain had completely saturated his hair and the shoulders of his jacket, a few drops dripping down his face into his eyes. And then, he was climbing up the stairs, seeing by just the dim porch lights in front of each apartment and the lightning flashing overhead. As he came closer and closer to the familiar apartment, something overcame him, making him stop in the middle of the stairs, still dripping wet and dizzy from the alcohol now sitting in his stomach.
A thought raced into his head and he almost had to sit down for it. What if Iwaizumi shut him out? What if he didn't even care to listen to him? Or, what if he wasn't even home? The thoughts buzzed through his head, scaring him and making him quiver even more than the cold rain did.
Thunder boomed again above Oikawa and he jumped, holding into the stair's railing for support. He took a deep, calming breath and another step forward. Then another, and another, until he reached the door he used to be able to just walk right into.
He knocked twice.
His hands shook violently as he brought them back to his sides and he bit his lip, trying to push back his worries.
Five long, horrible minutes passed. Oikawa started to back away and was about to turn around and go back to the stairs, but the lock clicked, and slowly, carefully, the door opened.
Oikawa nearly melted at the sight of Iwaizumi standing at the door, in a pair of blue sweatpants and a loose tank, his short hair messy and mouth open in a tired yawn. His eyes got adjusted to the light (albeit dim) and went wide when they landed on Oikawa. "What . . . what are you doing here?"
Oikawa tried to keep his composure, tried to stay calm under Iwaizumi's gaze, but he couldn't. At the sight of his ex, he let go of his feelings, all of the built-up emotion he had been holding onto those past months, everything. And suddenly, he was throwing his arms around Iwaizumi, his breaths staggered and his eyes filling with tears again. On top of the alcohol, exhaustion, and now seeing his ex, he couldn't help being so emotional.
"Iwa-chan, I'm so, so sorry," he said, hugging him tightly. "I'm sorry. I missed you so, so much."
It took Iwaizumi a moment, but he slowly (but surely) wrapped his arms around Oikawa's torso in return, pulling him into his chest. Oikawa buried his face into his shoulder and Iwaizumi did the same, both wallowing in each other's presence for the first time in too long.
"You're soaking wet, dumbass," Iwaizumi said, not bothering to let go.
"It's raining," Oikawa answered with a small laugh.
Iwaizumi rolled his eyes and let go with just one of his arms, keeping his left one around his ex-boyfriend and using the other to lead them back inside. Oikawa just stayed clinging to his neck the whole time.
Once they were inside, Iwaizumi let go and slapped Oikawa's arm.
"Ow! What was that for?"
"You know damn right what it's for."
Oikawa took in a deep breath. "Yeah, I know. Iwaizumi, I'm so sorry. I wasn't thinking that night and I was too stubborn to do anything, Iwa-chan, I'm so sorry!" He bowed deeply, pleading silently for forgiveness.
"Oikawa, I know why you did it. And I'm sorry. I shouldn't have let it go on for as long as I did. I was so busy I barely kept our relationship going,"
"So . . . we're both sorry?"
"Yeah."
"Okay! That cancels everything out. Now, Iwa-chann, can you please bring me some dry clothes?"
Iwaizumi sighed, but stood up to comply nevertheless. He left for a few moments before returning quickly with a pair of grey sweatpants with green aliens (which were actually Oikawa's, he just kept them at Iwaizumi's place) and a blue hoodie. Oikawa changed quickly (Iwaizumi turned around so he didn't see, because he was a gentleman), and then they both sat down on the floor, facing each other. Oikawa kept glancing around the room, looking anywhere but at Iwaizumi, even though he desperately wanted to stare into those beautiful brown eyes of his.
"So, Shittykawa," Iwaizumi started, saying the old nickname easily, "why are you here at—" He checked his watch, "—12:56 AM?"
"Well, it's a long story, you see—"
"How much did you drink, dumbass?"
"Hey! Why'd you assume I was drinking? I'm hurt, Iwa-chan."
"Just answer the question, dumbass."
"Okay, okay, I didn't drink that much. Just enough to show up at your doorstep unannounced in the middle of the night, even though I had no clue whether or not you were even home," Oikawa said.
"That sounds like a lot."
"I'm fineee, Iwa-chan. I just . . . missed you. A lot."
Iwaizumi rolled his eyes and grabbed Oikawa's shoulders, pulling him into his chest in a hug. "Well, I'm here now."
"Yeah, you are." Oikawa buried his face into his chest and sighed happily. "Thank you. I promise I won't ever be that impulsive again."
"Ha, good luck."
"Okay, I promise I won't be that stubborn ever again."
Iwaizumi literally burst out laughing at that one.
"Don't bully me! I promise I won't ever leave you again."
"That's better. And I'm glad to be with you again. Don't think for a second I'm ever letting you live this down, though."
"Iwa-channn!"
"I love you, you idiot."
"Aww, Iwa-chan! I love you, too."
Oikawa hugged him tighter, all the memories from before everything went down coming back to him. It felt so, so amazing to be back with Iwaizumi, in his arms again, and nothing—not even Oikawa's own stubborn ass—was going to get in the way of that.