Logan
It shouldn't have bothered me that she didn't want me to tag along. Why? I can think of a gazillion reasons why.
First, it's not like we're friends or something.
We're not.
She has made it clear that she doesn't want me here. Although Adam has been nice and everything, I'm not dumb. I know that he wants me out of here too which is why he asked me to get a job in the first place: to convince Jade that I'm getting my shit together so she can ship me back as soon as possible.
And it's not like I want to stay here either. Sure, it's not as awful as I expected, but my life is still in New York City, in the heart of Manhattan. Being here is literally like taking a break from my own life.
I miss the noise, the people, the buildings, and yes, even the humid weather. I miss the parties, the drinking and having sex. So much sex.
But mostly... I miss belonging somewhere. I can never really belong here. Adam and Emily have their own thing, and I'll admit, I'm a little bit jealous. They both have each other. It's clear how much they care for one another. They have dinner every night together, on the same table. That concept is still strikingly foreign to me. I've always had dinner alone either while playing some video games or while driving to some party.
They go hiking together, and do random things like vinyl nights at midnight on Thursdays. They even call each other to talk about how their day went for God's sake.
And that's kind of nice.
Sure, I have Mar in New York, but things are different with Mar. I don't know how to explain it but I think of Mar as a... gazelle.
Yes, gazelle. You read that correctly.
She's meant to roam wild and free in life, from city to city, from show to show. She's always on a plane somewhere. And don't get me wrong, I love that for her. I've always been attracted to powerful, independent women.
But with her career, it's impossible for us to establish a routine: to have dinner together or talk on the phone for an hour. And this is why I've always felt dispensable to her. Even though we've been together for four years.
I take a deep breath but the clench in my stomach won't go away. I feel like shit. Fuck, I could seriously use a drink right now. Or ten.
My thoughts are interrupted by a knock on my bedroom door. It's probably Adam wanting to scold me for thinking about getting a drink.
"Come in."
The door opens slightly and it's Em. Her dark brown hair is pulled up in a messy bun and she's wearing her reading glasses. Fuck, she looks insanely gorgeous. Reading glasses are fucking hot and anyone who says otherwise is basic.
I gulp, remembering her hesitation earlier when I asked what they were doing.
She stands there for a second, just looking at me. My heart clenches tightly at our eye contact. Her eyes are the deepest shade of chocolate brown. God, I hate how gorgeous she is. Especially when she's looking at me like she can see right through my soul. My throat is way too tight to form any words.
Her chest rises as she takes a deep breath. "Adam and I are having a stargazing night in the backyard if you want to join us."
I raise my eyebrows at her. "You don't need to include me in everything you guys do." Although that would be nice, it'd make the homesickness a bit easier to bear.
She rolls her eyes. "I know. My offer expires in five seconds. Also, bring with you the vodka that you brought today during lunch break."
Is it bad that I find her cheekiness extremely hot?
My jaw drops. "How did you -"
Melanie.
Right.
Of course. Why do I even bother?
"Fine," I try to hide my smile as I walk towards my drawer and pull out the vodka. I shouldn't be this happy that she came back. I shouldn't be excited to watch the fucking sky with my uncle and his roommate. God, I would have cringed at myself three weeks ago.
"You just need to help me get the telescope from my room. It's heavy."
I follow behind Emily and that's when I realize that I've never actually been inside of her room before. Knowing her, it's probably minimalistic and -
The moment she opens the door, I'm taken back by the black walls.
Holy shit.
I've never seen a darker place before. "What the fuck is wrong with you?" I breathe out. The walls, the bed, the floor, the curtains - everything is black.
She looks offended for a split second but Adam bursts out laughing. Oh, Adam is inside too. "That was my reaction too when she first painted them black."
I look back at her. "Who does that?!"
"You should be grateful that you have vodka with you. Otherwise, I would have kicked you out."
When I walk in, I notice two things:
First, the room is not as minimal as I expected it to be. She has a lot of pillows on her queen-sized bed which is kind of cute. The pillows are black, of course. I notice that she has polaroid pictures on her wall too.
Second, I notice the stars coming from the projector. "This is actually cool," I comment at the setting.
I help Adam grab the telescope and we set it up outside.
When we finally sit down, Adam is laying down between me and Em. Yet, I'm acutely aware of her presence.
Emily opens the vodka bottle and takes a gulp. "Let's get wasted."
I expect Adam to say no, but he surprises me by taking the bottle from Em.
Little did I know that by "Let's get wasted", they meant to play a game of "Never Have I ever" where I'm on my 10th shot and they're still on their fourth. Why? Because the game is more like, let's-confirm-that-Logan-is-a-sex-freak.
"Never have I ever..." Adam pauses before smirking at Em and looking back at me. "Never have I ever had sex in a public space."
This game is not fun. Of course, I had sex in a public space. Who doesn't?
I take another shot, which makes them both laugh. I roll my eyes, "Okay, you guys are annoying. Can we stop with the sexual questions? I get it, I have been a little bit more adventurous for my age."
"A little?" Em teases.
"Fine! Never have I ever sucked a dick. Happy?"
Adam lets out a laugh before taking a shot and I raise my eyebrow at Em for not taking one.
"Come on now, I've been embarrassingly honest this entire time. You can just admit that you've given head before."
She blinks before looking away. Huh? It takes me a second to register that she's never actually gone down on someone. "Holy shit. You've never given head?"
She shrugs.
"What?! That's crazy. Are you like Charlotte from Sex and the City?"
Adam bursts out laughing while Emily's annoyance grows. "Who is Charlotte from Sex and the City?"
"You've never watched Sex and the City?!"
"No?"
"I think the real question is why have you have watched Sex and the City?" Adam teases.
"I've been with Mar for four years, okay? I've watched every weird thing that you can think of."
She used to watch it all the time and eventually I became... familiar with it. It's not like I pre-ordered tickets to the premiere of the 2010 movie six months before it hit the big screens. I didn't.
"Anyways, Charlotte doesn't give head 'cause she's classy. Are you one of those girls?"
"That's none of your business."
I know. But she's soo intriguing. And mysterious. And deep. Every time I think I figured her out, I realize that I've only peeled just another layer. Is she a virgin? Fuck, she might actually be a virgin. Only one way to find out.
"Never have I ever had sex," I say, watching her expression attentively.
She sighs. "You're such a kid. That's not even the way we're supposed to play the game! You have to say something that you've never actually done and -"
Holy fuck, she's a virgin.
"You didn't take a shot. You're a virgin?!"
She glares and I can't help but laugh. "This is hilarious."
I never thought that I'd think that a virgin is hot. Fuck my life.
"Never have I ever been to an orgy," Adam randomly states. Is Adam high?
I take a shot only to find them staring at me with a blank face.
"What?!" I snap.
"Well... care to share?" Adam asks.
"About orgies?"
"Yeah."
I hesitate for a second as I think back to the few times Mar and I went. They weren't really erotic, to be honest. "The ones we went to smelled like weed."
"Ones? Plural form?"
"I've been there three times. The first time was because Mar wanted to try. I mostly felt uncomfortable and just wanted to leave. The second time was my friend's birthday. So I was drunk, I don't remember much. The third time was Mar trying to get me to like the experience and still failing."
Adam shrugs. "You're just not a voyeur."
"Can we stop talking about sex?" Em sighs.
I can't help but laugh. "Yeah it must be hard to not be able to relate," I tease her a bit.
Warmth spreads in my chest as she glares at me. "Unlike you, I don't need to get my high from self-destructive activities."
Huh?
"I'm so confused. Are you saying that having sex is self-destructive?"
I fight the urge to burst into fits of laughter.
"No. Having sex with you is self-destructive."
God, I would literally fuck her brains out if she lets me. The things I'd do to her - Logan junior is already hard just thinking about it. Did I mention that her being a virgin makes her ten times hotter?
"I find it ironic that the girl who climbs the highest peaks of the world is talking about non self-destructive activities," Adam comments.
I scoff. "Anyone can climb a mountain, it's not that hard." On the other hand, handling seven sex rounds is a different story.
Emily smirks. "Alright, let's make a bet then. If you lose tomorrow, you're doing the dishes for the next month."
I laughed at her before shaking her hand. "Great, that means I'm exempt from going anywhere near the dishes for the next four weeks because I sure as hell will not be losing tomorrow."