Continues from part 1.
I own NOTHING but my OCs Kevin, Alex, and Saya. Everything else, all rights go to their owners.
EXTREMELY sorry in advance for it being so SUPER long. You HAVE been warned lol. Now enjoy.
WARNING: Trigger warning.
THIRD PERSON'S POV:
Farmer's grazing fields with a mutilated cow.
Farmer Carl Denkins - "That's the third cow this month. At this rate all my cattle are gonna die before the winter's through."
The cows moo questioningly.
Officer Barbrady - "This is nothing out of the unusual. Cows turn themselves inside out all the time."
The cows shake their heads.
Farmer Carl - "People been saying they've been seeing UFO's around."
Officer Barbrady - "UFO's?" [Laughs.]
Farmer Carl - "Yeah, and black army CIA helicopters and trucks."
Officer Barbrady - "That is the silliest thing I've ever heard."
(Helicopters fly by above him.)
Farmer Carl - "What was that?"
Officer Barbrady - "That, that was a pigeon."
Farmer Carl - "What am I supposed to do, Barbrady? Just stand here and watch my cattle get mutilated one by one?"
The cows notice something and raise their heads. One Visitor waves a piece of hay and whistles. The cows start running away from them.
Farmer Carl - "Hey! My cattle!"
The "Cattle Ranch" sign falls down.
Farmer Carl - "You see? There is somethin' funny goin' on!"
Officer Barbrady - "There's nothing funny going on. I'll get those cows back."
Mr. Garrison's class.
SAYA'S POV:
I very nervously stand in front of the whole class waiting to be introduced. I'm glad Stan is by my side through this, especially since he's speaking for me.
Mr. Garrison - "Okay class, we have a new student joining us today. Okay Stan, you may sit down now."
Stan - "Sorry Mr. Garrison, but I can't yet."
Mr. Garrison - "And why not?"
Stan - "She's sick, and can just barely talk right now."
Mr. Garrison - "Is this true?" I slowly nod my head yes. "Okay then. You may continue."
Stan - "Thank you. Everyone, this is Saya Phoenix. And she's my long lost twin like cousin! We were like closer than twins we were that close growing up!" That shocked everyone but my friends. Their looks are just PRICELESS. Unfortunately I can only freeze time for a few seconds at a time now, but it's just enough for me to take the picture. *click*
Some random female student - "What did he mean by that? And why are you wearing your hood like Kenny? Are you trying to imitate" Oh fuck, I KNEW someone was going to ask that sooner or later. And I was hoping for later, as in never. But me and Stan looked at each other, and I nodded my head, basically telling him to go ahead.
Stan - "She disappeared three years ago due to family issues." 'Oh thank GODS.' I whisper to him why I still have it up, and he's both shocked AND worried. But I promised him that he can see it later. After nodding his head, he told everyone, "She still has it up is to hide the big cut on her left cheek from an attacker yesterday." Now THAT shocked EVERYONE even more, especially Kenny. I even saw anger, sadness, pain, and something else in his eyes. *click* Yet another class picture to keep lol.
Mr. Garrison - After a few moments, he finally snapped out of it. "Um.. *cough* Okay Stan. Now you may sit down." I watched in sadness and nervousness as my comfort left me. "Now, where to put you." 'Oh Gods, PLEASE not by the tub of lard!' As I look around, I saw that both Stan AND Kenny were thinking the same thing. "How about, right next to Kenny." Me, Stan AND Kenny all released the breath we didn't know we were holding. 'Oh thank heavens.' I go sit next to Kenny on his left in the back. Even though we were both nervous, I can easily tell he was smiling softly at me. And he can tell the same with me.
Mr. Garrison - "And now children, our friend, Mr. Hat, is going to tell us about Christopher Columbus."
Mr. Hat - "That's right, Mr. Garrison. Christopher Columbus discovered America and was the Indians' best friend. He helped the Indians win their war against Fredrick Douglass and a freed the Hebrews from Napoleon and discovered France. And then in 1492 Columbus started a restaurant..." 'Okay, ALL of that is FUCKING COMPLETELY WRONG GODS DAMN IT!' Stan/The Faint Voice - 'Calm down. We all know it's all wrong. We're in this class just to pass time. Okay?' '*Aggravated sigh* Fine. But I still fucking hate it though.' Stan/The Faint Voice - 'I know. I can tell by your faint growling.' '*soft sigh* sorry...' Stan/The Faint Voice - 'It's fine.'
[Mr. Garrison is drowned out by Kyle's voice.]
Kyle - [Whispering.] "Oh, man. I can't just sit here, I have to help my stupid brother, or I'll come home without him and my dad will start yelling, "Where's your brother, Kyle?" "You weren't looking out for your little brother, Kyle?"
Stan - [Whispering.] "Okay, okay, let's ditch school and go find him." 'Oh I'm all for that. At least it's hell of a better than this bull shit.' The Faint Voice - 'Same here.'
Kyle - [His voice is rising to an audible level.] "You know he can't think on his own, Kyle!" "Brush and floss, Kyle!" "Where has that finger been, Kyle?" 'Damn kid. Tone it the fuck down.'' Stan/The Faint Voice - 'Right?'
Stan - "Dude!" 'Really.'
Mr. Garrison - "Is there a problem, boys?" 'Yes, you.' Stan/The Faint Voice - 'Heh heh.'
Kyle - "Yes, Mr. Garrison, I have to go now."
Mr. Garrison - "Oh, really, Kyle? What is it this time? Another prostate tumor?" 'The fucking weird ass creepy ass hat thing obsessed freak say what now?' Stan/The Faint Voice - 'Lol! Good one!' 'Thanks heh heh.' Stan/The Faint Voice - 'You're welcome.'
Kyle - "No, my little brother's been abducted by aliens. [Silence.] It's true! Ask Cartman, they gave him an anal probe."
Cartman - [Embarrassed.] "Heh, heh, that's a, that's, that's a little joke. Heh, heh." 'Yeah, and the punch line is you lol!' Stan/The Faint Voice - 'Ha! Good one Saya!' 'Heh, thanks.' Stan/The Faint Voice - 'You're welcome.'
Kyle - [Kyle walks up to Mr. Garrison's desk.] "Mr. Garrison, seriously, I have to go. Can I please be excused from class?" 'How much do you bet he won't let him'
Mr. Garrison - "I don't know, Kyle. Did you ask Mr. Hat?" '*sigh* Oh my dear fucking Lord. AGAIN with that creepy ass fucking thing?' Stan/The Faint Voice - 'Saya, calm down please. I know you hate it.' 'I should burn that cursed thing.' Stan - '*sigh*' The Faint Voice - 'Please do.' 'Oh I plan on it.'
Kyle - "I don't want to ask Mr. Hat, I'm asking you!"
Mr. Garrison - "Oh I think you should ask Mr. Hat."
Kyle - "Mr. Hat, may I please be excused from class?"
Mr. Hat - "Well, Kyle, no!! You hear me?! You go to hell! You go to hell and you die!" 'That THING said WHAT to my new brother!? Oh that is IT! That bitch is dying, TONIGHT!' Stan/The Faint Voice - 'New brother?'
Mr. Garrison - "Hmm, guess you'll have to take your seat, Kyle." 'No, YOU take a fucking seat! In hell where you belong, you fucking moldy and crusty ass piece of shit hot garbage! No one, and I fucking mean fucking NO ONE talks to my claimed family like THAT, and gets away with it!' Stan/The Faint Voice - 'FUCK she's really pissed off now.' Oh I was foaming, but when I saw Kenny slowly scoot away from me in fear, it TRULY broke my heart, and I instantly calmed down, but then got super depressed. I had to use my limited powers and glamoured myself so that others wouldn't see me crying. AND to make sure he didn't feel any of it as well. Both in sadness cause of the fear I can feel coming off of him in waves that I had caused, and in fear of loosing him for good. I can even slowly feel the pain from the soulmate rejection thing as well. 'FUCK! WHY do I keep fucking everything up?! WHY!?' That's when I started hearing those hate voices again. Maybe I SHOULD just off myself then. Though sadly it doesn't work. It NEVER does. I just keep coming back to the same old pain each time. *CRIES*.
Kyle - "Damn it!"
Cartman - "Hah, hah. Mr. Hat yelled at you." 'Oh please shut up.. *sniff*'
[He farts fire. Poor Pip is stunned.]
Cartman - "Ow! My ass!" 'What?' I slowly look up from my hands to see what's going on.
The class gasps.
Stan - "Dude!"
Kyle - "Damn, Cartman!"
Cartman - [Cartman farts fire again.] "Uh... Ow! My ass!"
Kyle - "Dude, he's farting fire!"
Stan - "It's the alien anal probe. It's shooting fire from Cartman's rectum!"
Cartman - "No, that was just a dream."
Mr. Garrison - "Eric, do you need to sit in the corner until your flaming gas is under control?" 'How is he so calm?'
Cartman - "No, Mr. Garrison, I'm fine." [he farts fire again, setting Pip aflame. Pip runs around the room on fire.] Super depressed or not, I quite literally jumped into action by jumping over everyone, tackle rolled him to the floor, and was able to put the fire out to the shock of everyone. Thank the GODS only his clothes got a bit burnt.
It wasn't until an hour later that class ended for lunch. I told them to go on ahead, and that I needed to use the restroom for a bit. I can't believe they actually bought that. As they left I went to my locker first. I needed to get my medicine out. I had JUST opened it, when it was slammed from behind me. Just barely missing my fingers. I was really tensed right now. But as I was about to turn around to see who did it, I was then slammed into the locker, HARD. Hard enough to make me fall. After I fell, I looked up to see the same random girl from before.
Random Girl - "You think you're so hot, just because you're new. Don't you bitch?"
Saya - "What? What do you mean? And I'm not new. I used to live here three years ago, but just recently moved back."
Random Girl - "Yeah right you fucking skank! And you have BETTER stay away from MY man bitch!" By this point, there was quite a few people around us watching. I tried to get up, but she just kicked me in the left ribs. And thus breaking the already two cracked ribs there. There was even a loud sound of bones breaking. I tried REALLY hard NOT to yelp from that. I need to appear human after all, right? Out of the corner of my eye, I saw someone run for help. Hopefully to get Stan. But I DO still send a destress signal to Alex and Kevin though in the meantime.
Saya - "Wha.. *coughs up some blood, and having some trouble breathing from only one lung now* What are you talking about? WHO'S you man? *starts coughing more, and I tried to sit up more, but it's extremely hard, AND painful* I really don't know what you're talking about." Apparently she did NOT like the answer by the way she tried to growl, bitch please, and then grabbed the front of my jacket. She just barely managed to pick me up.
Random Girl - "You know damn well who I'm talking about bitch! STAN! He's MY man, NOT your's! So stay the fuck away from him if you know what's good for you slut!" Well THAT'S not right. He's NOT her soulmate. I should know, for you see me, Alex, and Kevin have the ability where we can see who are soulmates. Me and Alex can because of The Lab, and Kevin can because of Alex. So yes, this BITCH is NOT my cousin's soulmate. It's actually that Wendy girl. And I'm glad too. From what I can read from her, oh she's just perfect for him.
Saya - "Okay, EW! That's just DISGUSTING! *gags* That's my COUSIN!" She slammed me again, harder this time. But unfortunately I hit the back of my already injured head, and was slowly dying after I collapsed. I heard several male voices yell my name, one of them being Stan, another being Papa, another one being Alex, one I don't recognize, and the last one being muffled. So I guess Kenny DOES still care. Well it's too late now you fucking jerk. But before they could get close, the BITCH yanked my hood back, and revealing my long silvery white hair, and my cut cheek. Making everyone gasp.
I can just barely see Alex push her out of the way and kneel in front of me. He asked me something, but it sounded like he was under water. I slowly turn to Kenny on my right, and with fastly fading and darkening vision, I saw him crying. I turned back to Alex to see him yell something to Papa, but by this time everything was a slow warped sounding. I saw them panic as my eyes were slowly closing, and just as the darkness was taking over, I felt Kenny hug me, and cry on my chest. Then the darkness fully took over, and I knew nothing else.
I'm not sure how long it's been, it felt like hours. I slowly opened my eyes to see my galaxy filled room. Looks like they must have finally found my galaxy lamp. As I was about to sit up, or at least try to, there was a soft knock at my door. When it opened, Alex came in smiling softly, and sadly at me, and sat on the side of my bed.
Alex - "Hey sis, how are you feeling?"
Saya - "Hey. Really tired, and I have a splitting headache."
Alex - "Well that's to be expected considering what she did. She got charged with attempted murder. Yes, you did die. After we left. But they don't need to know that. Right? Also, when the cops came to take her away, she tried to say that YOU attacked HER, but it didn't work when there were a LOT of witnesses, AND the cameras caught it all too."
Saya - "Yeah, I know. But it still hurts though. Good. That's what she fucking gets. Right. Ha, dumb bitch. How's Stan and Kenny holding up? Are they okay?"
Alex - "Yeah, they're okay. Though everyone was shocked to see Kenny act like that. He was acting like you died, even though you did. Five seconds after we left. But, it's like he KNEW somehow."
Saya - *sigh* "That's because he DID knew. He felt it through the just barely there connection through the soul marks. Also, I can hear his thoughts a bit more clearly now too. It's faint, but I can hear him in the back of my mind. And apparently he can hear mine as well."
Alex - "What? How? WHEN?" I can tell he was really shocked to hear that, and I don't blame him at all either. I'M still shocked about it as well.
Saya - "Yeah. I know. I'm shocked too. We must have made skin contact, I think it happened when we were Air Gearing a few days ago. Our faces must have touched, or something like that. I'm still not entirely sure." I finally managed to sit up with him helping me. We talked for a few more minutes when suddenly, "AH!" I have NEVER felt something like this before. Not even from The Lab. *shivers*.
Alex - "Saya! What's wrong!? What happened!?" He started to panic a bit. And I don't blame him either, considering what all happened. He had to catch me from falling off the bed though since I just suddenly went forward.
Saya - "I- I don't know. It felt like I just got zapped by something. AH!" Then I felt like I just got trampled by a stampede, THEN hit by a car, my head being ripped off, and then something inside of me SNAPPED. 'Wait.. No. No, it.. It CAN'T be. NO!' I started to REALLY cry and scream by this point. "KENNY!" I felt and heard Alex run out of the room and was screaming for Papa. I can't believe he's gone. Like, ACTUALLY gone. NO! *CRIES* I was SO upset that I didn't notice Alex came back with Papa. Not until I felt Papa hug me. I DESPERATELY latched onto him for dear life, while truly sobbing on his chest. He must have told Alex to leave us for right now, and to go eat. By the smell of the food, I guess it's lunch time? I don't know, and I really don't fucking care. All I care about is having my mate back! Why? WHY did he have to die!? WHY DAMN IT!? It must have been an hour or two before I was just left in hiccups. I must have said everything out loud since he kept saying that he'll find a way to bring him back. Even though we both know there isn't. Ten minutes later I finally let go of him, and I told him to kill me so that I can be with him. But we both know that I'll just come back again. He didn't want to at first though.
Papa - "Are you sure Saya?" I saw his eyes full of pure sadness.
Saya - "Yes. I'm sure. I need to be with him. Please. We both know that I can't live without him regardless though. Right?"
Papa - *sad sigh* "I know Saya. But you KNOW how I feel about all this. Right?"
Saya - *softly sighing* "I know Papa, and I'm truly sorry for asking you to do this. Again. But please? I can't STAND this pain. Please Papa?" I started to cry again, but from the pain this time. He was extremely reluctant to do it, but he was able to do it for me. Thus making me smile softly and sadly at him as thanks.
Papa - *deep sigh* "Fine Saya, I will." He put his right hand on my chest, and exploded my heart. I softly tell him thanks as I died.
KEVIN'S POV:
I sigh in pure sadness for doing that. Again. She KNOWS that I DESPISE killing her. But she was right about her not being able to live without her mate. And the pain WAS actually killing her painfully slowly. As I gently laid her down, I saw that the soul mark was very slowly gaining it's colors back. But by how slow it was going, it would be a few days before all the colors are returned. After making sure she was comfortable and cleaned up, I left. After returning to the kitchen to find Alex not even eating. He looked up as soon as I entered, and knew what happened by the sadness in his eyes. He ran to me and hugged me. We were both softly crying for the next five minutes. We both knew it had to be done, no matter how painful it was. Especially since we both had to kill her before to either end her suffering, or to stop her after losing full control of her demon self.
Afterwards we sat down and slowly started to eat. Even though we both know she'll be back tomorrow, it still hurts. And we kept glancing at her very empty seat. Worried for her mental health. Ten minutes later we got done, cleaned up, checked on Saya to see her slowly coming back, and went to bed. Not knowing what tomorrow brings.
STAN'S POV (surprise!):
As we were leaving for lunch, I had a bad feeling about something. But I don't know what. It wasn't until someone came running to us, and told us what was happening that I did. So we ran as fast as we could to see what happened. I was panicking about losing her again. 'Please no, not again!' As we were running, I saw that Kenny was starting to cry. Odd. But not only that, there was a 6th grader and a doctor running with us? But apparently they know Saya since they screamed her name too when we saw her. There was also a fifth male voice screaming as well. He sounded familiar, but not at the same time. When we got there, I froze both in shock, AND in fear. There was a lot of blood on the lockers. I started to cry when I saw that. I also saw the 6th grader and Kenny go to her side, but before they did, the girl in front of her yanked Saya's hood down. Revealing her still beautiful silvery white hair, and the cut on her cheek. Making everyone gasp. It looked like he was trying to get her attention, but it wasn't working. Kenny was really crying when she slowly looked at him, then the 6th grader. We both started to panic when Saya was closing her eyes. Especially when Kenny hugged her, and was crying on her chest. Shocking EVERYONE since he has NEVER done that before. With anyone. Hm, I wonder.
The doctor must have called the police since I saw two of them coming our way. I slowly walked up to the 6th grader, and asked, "Is she okay? Is my cousin alive?" When I asked that, Kenny started crying more. Scaring me even more than before. The kid looked at me calmly and said, "Yes. She's alive. But barely though. But she'll be okay tomorrow. She's a fast healer. Always has been." I sigh in relief when he said that. I was about to ask him something else when there was a commotion behind me. What I saw was kind of funny in a way. The girl that attacked Saya, was fighting the cops, and saying that Saya was the one to attack first. And try to blame the 6th grader for "hitting" her. That didn't end well for her since there were a LOT of witnesses, AND the cameras caught it as well. Apparently she was getting charged with attempted murder. When I turned back around, I saw the 6th grader, the doctor, AND Saya gone! What the hell!? Where'd they go!? As I was looking around, I saw that Kenny was sitting against his locker which was right next to Saya's, and was hugging his knees still crying. So I went to him.
Stan - "Come on Kenny, you heard him. She's fine. And I'm sure we'll see tomorrow morning for school. Okay?"
Kenny - "*sad sigh* (Okay. If you say so.)" 'And hopefully she really IS okay. Even though I was feeling her fading fast somehow. *sigh* I'll think more on it later. Right now I'm really hungry.'
Stan - "Okay. Now come on, let's go to lunch." I help him up, and we leave for the cafeteria. 'God I really hope you're okay Saya. I CAN'T lose you. NOT again God damn it.'
THIRD PERSON'S POV:
Train station. Cows flock in from all around and stand in line, waiting to board the train out of town.
Train Conductor - "Hey, you cows can't get on this train! This is a people train. You cows have no business on a people train, all right? 'Cause you're cows."
The cows are all staring at the conductor.
Train Conductor - "No, no, no. Don't try any of that cow hypnosis on me, all right? 'Cause it's not gonna work."
Officer Barbrady - [Drives by with his lights flashing.] "Hold it right there, cows!"
Cows split up and run off mooing.
Officer Barbrady - "Come back here! Now then!" [He pursues them.]
Cafeteria
STAN'S POV:
First Kid - "So then I had bad, bad gas."
Second Kid - "Ya, seriously, killer.
Cartman - [Cartman farts fire.] "Oh!! Whoa, I sure am hungry."
Stan - "How can you eat when you're farting fire?" 'Really dude!'
Cartman - "Shut up, dude, you're being totally immature." 'No, YOU are fat ass.'
Kyle - "Hey, look, there's Wendy Testaburger."
Stan - [Gasps.] "Where?" [He finds himself looking right at her. An epiphany plays while hearts dance around Stan's head. Stan smiles, and it soon goes from ear to ear] 'Oh sweet heavens, there she is. The most gorgeous girl I have EVER seen, and have the privilege of meeting. Let alone TALK to. My soulmate. Well, I sure HOPE she is.'
Cartman - [Singing.] "Stan wants to ki-iss Wendy Testabur-ger."
Stan - "Shut up, fat ass! I don't even like her!" 'I can't believe I just fucking SAID that! [Starts to panic a bit.]
Cartman - "I'm not fat. And you obviously like her because you throw up every time she talks to you."
Stan - "I do not!" 'Actually, why DO I do that? I'm going to have to ask Saya the next time I see her. Oh God, please be okay.'
Wendy - "Hi, guys."
Kyle/Cartman - "Hi, Wendy."
Wendy - "Here, Stan. This is for you." [Wendy hands Stan a note.]
Stan - "Bleech!" 'WHY DID I JUST TROW UP ON HER!!!!'
Wendy "Eww!" [She leaves.] 'Oh great, now she hates me.'
Kyle/Cartman - [Their eyes follow her out.] "Bye, Wendy."
Kyle - "Dude, what does the note say?"
Stan - [He glances at it.] "Holy crap! It says she wants to meet me at Stark's Pond after school." [A look of wonder comes over his face.] 'Can it be? Is she going to show me her soul mark? Oh I REALLY hope she has the soul mark that's supposed to represent me somewhere on her! Oh God, please don't let it be like, puke or anything like that!'
Kyle - "Whoa! Maybe you can kiss her."
Cartman - "Or slip her the tongue."
Kenny - "(Or look at the cat on her feet, then touch her.)" 'Really Kenny? I know you're trying to distract yourself, and try to keep your mind off from what happened and all. But dude, come on!'
Stan - [That gets his attention.] "What? How do you know she has a cat?"
Silence, Kenny waits to see if the other guys got the message, then laughs. The rest follow, realizing what Kenny meant. 'Oh my God Kenny.'
Kyle - "Come on you guys, we need to figure out how to get out of school so we can get my little brother back."
'And hopefully be able to go see Saya too. Oh wait, we don't even know where she lives. Fuck!'
The cafeteria kitchen. Chef stands behind the counter, ready to serve food. The boys enter.
Chef - "Hello there, children."
All of us - "Hey, Chef."
Chef - "How are you doing?"
Kyle - "Bad." 'Poor Kyle.'
Chef - "Why bad?"
Kyle - "Chef, have you ever had something happen to you, but nobody believed you?"
Chef - "Oh, children, children, that's a problem we've all had to face at some time or another. Here, let me sing you a little song. It might clear things up."
♪ I'm gonna make love to you woman ♪
♪ Gonna lay you down by the fire ♪
♪ And caress your womanly body ♪
♪ Make you moooooan and perspire ♪
♪ Gonna-- ♪
Stan - "Uh, Chef?" 'oh God no, not again!'
Chef - ♪ --get those juices flowin'-- ♪
Stan - "Chef." 'Please stop!'
Chef - ♪ --we're makin' love gravy-- ♪
Stan - "Chef!" 'Damn it stop!'
Chef - ♪ --love gravy, lovelovelovelovelove gravih! ♪
Stan - [shouts loud enough for Chef to hear] "CHEF!!!" 'Ow. Well that hurt my throat.'
Chef - ♪ Love luh-- ♪
"Huh?" 'Oh thank God, FINALLY!'
Silence. Kenny nods towards Kyle.
Chef - "Do you feel better?"
Kyle - "No!"
Chef - "Oh, come on children, what could be so bad? It's Salisbury steak day." That I'm pretty sure Saya would have LOVE. She was always more of a meat eater, considering she's part wolf thanks to her mom's, my Aunt from my mom's side, dormant blood. She's lucky though. Cause all I got, was some cat characteristics. I guess that's why I'm such a fucking push over. *sigh* Oh well. Right? I just hope our soulmates will except us for not just WHO we are, but also WHAT we are as well. If not, we'll die from the rejection. It's happened a TON over the years. So hopefully we don't ever join them too.
Stan - "Visitors took Kyle's baby brother."
Chef - "What?!"
Chef tosses a food tray aside and runs to the other side of the counter.
Chef - "What the hell do you think you're doing in school eatin' Salisbury steak?! Go find him, damn it!"
Kyle - "Mr. Garrison won't let us out of school. He thinks we're making it up."
Cartman - "You are making it up." 'No we're not fat ass.'
Cartman farts more fire, the anal probe pops out, moves around and puts its metal arms on its hip, looking annoyed at Cartman's determination that it didn't happen.
Stan - "Whoa!" 'What the-.'
The probe goes back into Cartman's ass.
Cartman - "What?" 'What the fucking hell just happened!?'
Kyle - "That was cool!" 'Hell yeah that was!'
Chef - "It's uh some kind of symbiotic, metamorphosis device."
Cartman turns about so Chef can check out the probe.
Chef - "This could mean the Visitors want to communicate with us."
Cartman - [Turning to face Chef, testily.] "Oh, I see. Now you're going to join in on the little joke huh?" 'God damn it fat ass! This ISN'T a fucking joke damn it!'
Chef - "It's no joke, children, this is big!" 'Ha! We told you!'
Kyle - "Please, Chef, if I don't get out of school and get my little brother back from the aliens, my parents are gonna disown me." 'Well, I wouldn't go as far as THAT.'
Chef - "Uuh, hold on now, hold on now." [To himself.] "Uhyouyouyou you gotta help the children."
Cartman - "Oh, you guys sure are going a long ways to try and scare me. I want my Salisbury steak!"
Chef - [Pulling on the fire alarm] "Fire drill! Fire drill! Everybody out!" [To the boys.] "Okay children, this is your chance!"
Stan - "Killer! Thanks, Chef." 'Oh hell yeah! You rock Chef!'
Chef - "Mahahahahan oh man, first contact with the alien Visitors. I've got to get myself ready."
The boys' neighborhood.
All of us - [Singing.]
♪ We got out of school, ♪
♪ No more school today, ♪
♪ We got out of school... ♪
Cartman, interrupting the song with a fiery fart.
Cartman - "Oh!! You guys, my ass, seriously..!"
Stan - "Okay, Cartman, you can stop farting fire now."
Cartman - "I would if I could, you son of a bitch!" 'No, you are.'
Kyle - "Okay, so how do we get my little brother back?"
Cartman - "Uh-Would you stop going on about your little brother? I know it was just a dream, I know I didn't have an anal probe, and I know that I'm not under alien control!"
A radio wave strikes Cartman and he gets big blushy cheeks and starts to sing.
Cartman - ♪ I love to singa, ♪
♪ About the moona and June-a and the springa, ♪
♪ I love to singa, ♪
♪ About a sky of blue-a or a tea for two-a... ♪
A second radio wave reverts him to normal and all is quiet. Dogs bark in the background.
Stan - "What the hell was that?" 'Oh man, Saya would have LOVED that lol! Can't wait to tell her that!'
Kyle - "He is under alien control. That thing in his butt is linked up to the Visitors!"
Cartman - "Ah, son of a bitch!"
Cartman - "You guys, shut up. I'm not under alien control." 'Then what the hell was that?'
Kyle - [Kyle yells into Cartman's ear. His voice echoes.] "Hey!" 'Ha! I always KNEW never had any brains! And if there were any zombies, they would never go after him lol!'
Cartman - "Uh..."
Kyle - "If you Visitors can hear me-"
The voice echoes in Cartman's head.
Cartman - "Hey..."
Kyle - "Bring me back my little brother God damnit!"
Cartman - "Ow!" [Faces Kyle.] "That hurts, you buttlicker!"
Stan - [Stan notices a spaceship hovering overhead.] "Kyle, look! It's them."
Kyle - "Give me back my brother!" [He throws a rock at the spaceship. It fires back with a flash of light, hitting Kenny and knocking him into the road.]
Stan - "Oh my God! They've killed Kenny!" 'And Saya's going to kill ME!'
Kyle - "You bastards! Come back here! Coomme baack!"
The spaceship leaves.
Kyle - "Damn it, we were so close!"
Stan - "Hey look," [Kenny gets up.] "I think Kenny's okay." 'Oh thank God.'
Kenny - "(Don't worry, I'm alright. Argh!)"
The fleeing cows run over Kenny.
Stan - "Owww." 'Nevermind.'
Kenny - [He gets up again.] "(Nope, I'm all fine. Agh!)" 'Oh, never-'
Officer Barbrady mows him down with his police cruiser. Kenny ends up along the curb, lifeless. The boys approach.
Stan - "Wow, poor Kenny." '*sigh* Nope, nevermind. Again. Oh man, Saya's going to be SO devastated when she finds out.'
Kyle - "Now do you believe us, Cartman?" 'Yeah!'
Cartman - "No!" 'STILL dude!?'
Kyle - "Cartman, they killed Kenny!" 'Exactly!'
Cartman - "He's not dead."
Stan - "Dude, Kenny is dead!" 'Sorry Kenny'
Stan picks up a stick and hits Kenny's bloody body.
Stan - "See?"
Cartman - "Shut up, you guys."
Kyle - "He's dead, Cartman!" 'Really sorry about this Kenny.' [He pulls Kenny's head off his body.] 'Ouch.'
Cartman - "God damn it, I didn't have an anal probe!" [He walks off.] "Screw you guys, I'm goin' home."
Kyle - "Go on and go home, you fat chicken!"
Cartman - [Off screen.] "Dildo!"
Kyle - "You're all I have left, Stan."
Stan - "Sorry, dude. I gotta go meet Wendy Testaburger." 'And see if she can help me find Saya's house.'
Kyle - "You can't! Poor Ike must be so scared, up there all alone. You gotta help me, dude!"
Rats feast upon Kenny's body.
Stan - "Dude, like Chef says, I've gotta get a piece of lovin' while the gettin's hot." 'Whatever THAT means.' [He hurries away.] "Rats.", I hear Kyle say in the distance.
Rats drag Kenny's head off.
CARTMAN'S POV (didn't see THAT coming, huh? Lol!):
Cartman's house.
Mrs. Cartman - "Hello, Eric."
Cartman - "Hi, Mom."
Mrs. Cartman - "How are you doing?"
Cartman - "Well, I'm pissed off!"
Mrs. Cartman - "Here, I made you powdered donut pancake surprise."
Cartman - "I don't want powdered donut pancake surprise. All the kids at school call me fat!"
Mrs. Cartman - "You're not fat, you're big boned."
Cartman - "That's what I said."
Mrs. Cartman - "You can have an eensy weensy bit, can't you?"
Cartman - "No!"
Mrs. Cartman - "Just a weensy eensy woo woo?"
Cartman - "No, leave me alone mom!" [He walks past her.]
Mrs. Cartman - "How about a nice chocolate chicken pot pie, then?"
Cartman - [He stops in my tracks.] "What? Well, that does sound pretty good. [He returns to sit on the sofa while his mom goes off to get the pie.]
Cartman - "Uh, Mom?"
Mrs. Cartman - "Yes, hon?"
Cartman - "If anybody calls or comes over, I'm not here, okay?"
Mrs. Cartman - "Sure, hon. You want some Cheesy Poofs, too?"
Cartman is in disbelief she even asked.
Cartman - "Yeah, I want Cheesy Poofs."
STAN'S POV:
Stark's Pond. Kyle decided to join Stan.
Kyle - "Well, it looks like she's not going to show up, Stan. Let's go look for the Visitors now."
Stan - "But her note said she'd be here."
Wendy appears out of nowhere.
Wendy - "Hi, Stan."
Stan - "Bleech!" 'Damn it, not again!'
Wendy - "Eww!"
Kyle - "You can't talk to Stan, Wendy. He throws up when you do." 'Only because I get SUPER nervous around her!'
Wendy - "But why, Stan?"
Stan - [He tries to hold it in.] "Bleech!" 'DAMN IT!'
Wendy - "Eww!"
Kyle - "Look, can you guys just get down to business so we can go find my little brother?"
Wendy - [Turns to Kyle.] "Huh?"
Kyle - "Just make sweet love down by the fire." 'What fire?'
Wendy - "What happened to your little brother?"
CARTMAN'S POV:
Cartman's house. Cartman is on the sofa watching TV.
News Reporter - "As the reports of UFO sightings increase, more mysterious crop circle patterns are appearing in fields all around South Park. These crop circles, when viewed from above, form strange patterns."
A plane circles around a field with odd patterns on it, and a cameraman pans out to reveal the outline of Cartman.
Cartman - "Hey, that kind of looks like... Tom Selleck."
News Reporter - "Could it be that aliens are trying to make contact with us, here on Earth?"
Mr. Kitty - "Meow."
Noticing Mr. Kitty eyeing his pot pie.
Cartman - "No, Kitty, this is mah pot pie."
Mr. Kitty - "Meow."
Cartman - "No, Kitty, you bad kitt--!"
Mr. Kitty - "Meow."
Cartman - "No, Kitty, it's mah pot pie!"
Kitty hisses.
Cartman - "Mom! Kitty's being a dildo!"
Mrs. Cartman peeks in suggestively.
Mrs. Cartman - "Well, then. I know a certain kitty-kitty who's sleeping with Mommy tonight."
Cartman - [Confused.] "What?"
STAN'S POV:
Stark's Pond. Kyle is explaining what happened to his little brother.
Kyle - "...and now I have to go home without him and my parents are going to have me killed." 'Dude, tone it down will ya?'
Wendy - "Well, why don't you go get the fat kid?" 'What?'
Kyle - "Why?"
Wendy - "Well, if the fat kid has something implanted in his ass, maybe the Visitors are using him as part of their plan. You should use the fat kid as bait to bring them back." 'Why didn't WE think of that!? Damn you're smart!'
Kyle - "Hey. You're right, Wendy. Come on, Stan, we have to go get Cartman." [He moves out.]
Wendy - "Come on, Stan." [She walks past him, following Kyle.]
Stan - "Bleech!" ' *sigh* Oh fuck it, I give up.'
Wendy - "Eww!" [She walks away.]
Stan - "Hey, wait. When do I get to make sweet love?" 'Wait, did I SERIOUSLY just asked that!?'
A bird flies into his puke and starts waddling around in it.
Cartman's House, a short time later.
Mr. Kitty - "Meow."
Cartman - "No, Kitty, you can't have any!"
Mr. Kitty - "Meow."
Cartman - "No, Kitty, this is mah pot pie! Bad Kitty--!"
Cartman farts fire, setting the cat ablaze.
Cartman - "Eh, 'scuse me, Kitty."
Mrs. Cartman enters the room with Kyle, Stan, and Wendy.
Mrs. Cartman - "Eric, look who's here."
Cartman - "Dude, weak mom."
Kyle - "Come on Eric, we can go play at the bus stop."
Cartman - "I can't, my mom said..."
Mrs. Cartman - "That's okay, Eric, I think you need to go spend time with your little friends."
Cartman - [Quietly.] "But mom, I don't want to spend time with my little friends--"
Mrs. Cartman - [Stern.] "Don't be difficult, Eric! Now, you go out and play in the fun snow."
Cartman - "God damn it!"
Mr. Kitty then runs by in flames. 'Poor kitty. Saya will probably kill Cartman for doing that.'
Forest at night. Cartman's right foot is tied to a tree.
Cartman - "You guys, I have to get home."
Stan - "Don't be such a fraidy-cat, Cartman. This rope will make sure they can't take you on board again." 'This isn't going to work. I just know it.'
Cartman tugs his foot testing the rope.
Cartman - "Oh, man, this sucks."
Kyle - "How come the Visitors aren't coming for him?"
Stan - "I think we have to signal them somehow."
Cartman - [Cartman farts fire.] "Ow!"
Wendy - "Hey, he's like Rudolph."
Kyle - "Yeah! All you have to do is fart some more, Cartman, and the Visitors are sure to come!"
Cartman - "Really? Uh, I don't think I have to fart anymore tonight."
Kyle - "Sure you do!"
Stan - "Come on Cartman, fart!"
Cartman - "I don't wanna."
Stan - [To Kyle and Wendy.] "He can't hold it in forever."
Kyle - "Fart, damn you!"
Cartman - "Okay, that's does it! Now listen! Why is it that everything today has involved things either going in or coming out of my ass?!" [Farts. An anal probe comes out of his butt and expands.] "I'm sick of it! It's completely immature." 'No, you are for still not believing us damn it!'
Stan - "Hey, it's happening again."
The probe is now a large satellite dish. '*sad sigh* Man, if only Saya could see this. She'd love it. Especially since she's so much into space and all that.'
Kyle - "Whoa, look at that."
Stan - "Now, do you believe us, Cartman?"
Cartman - "You guys can't scare me! I know you're making it all up." 'Oh come on dude! STILL!'
Stan - "Cartman, there's a 80-foot satellite dish sticking out of your ass!"
Cartman - "Sure, you guys, what-ever." 'UGH!'
The dish sends a radio signal out to space.
THIRD PERSON'S POV:
Chef's yard. He's sitting in a lawn chair with a can of ZOOP in his hand. An Igloo cooler is next to him.
Chef - "Oh, boy. The aliens are going to make first contact. Hey, down here, we are ready for your wisdom!" [He looks at his watch.] "And you've only got 20 minutes before Sanford and Son is on."
Forest.
STAN'S POV:
Cartman - "You guys, I am seriously getting pissed off right now! I know there is no such things as aliens!" 'YOU getting pissed off!? I'M past being pissed off at you for not believing us still you fucking fat ass!'
Three small ships descend, followed by a mother-ship.
Cartman - "Oh, God damn it!"
Mr. Garrison - [Driving by, he stops.] "What the? I tell you, there's some crazy stuff going on in this town."
Mr. Hat - "You can say that again, Mr. Garrison." 'Saya was right, he IS creepy!'
Stan - "Come down here, you stinking aliens!" [Three Visitors appear.]
Kyle - "Uh, uh..."
Stan - "Go on, Kyle, ask 'em for your little brother back."
Kyle - "Vi, Visitors, this morning you took my brother, Ike. He's the little freckled kid that looks like a football. At first, I was happy you took him away. But I've learned something today. That having a little brother... i- is a pretty special thing."
Stan - "Yeah." Even though I don't have one, I have my little cousin who I think of as a little sister. And I'm extremely grateful to have her back again.'
Kyle - "Ah, heck, Mr. Visitors, I'm just a kid all alone in this crazy world, but if you could find it in your hearts or whatever you have, to give my brother back to me, it sure would make my life brighter again." I saw him starting to cry.
Stan - "That was beautiful, dude." 'Really Kyle.'
Kyle - "Did it work?" I saw him looking down.
Stan - "No, they're leaving."
Kyle - Hey, you scrawny-eyed (Bleep), what the... (Bleep) is wrong with you?! You must be some kind of (Bleep) to be able to ignore a crying child!"
Stan - "Whoa, dude!" 'And I thought Saya WAS bad! Damn!'
Kyle - "You know what you (Bleep) like! You like to... (bleep) And... (Bleep) And... (Bleep) And... (Bleep) And... (Bleep) And... (Bleep)."
Stan - "Hey, Wendy, what's a... (Bleep)?" [She shrugs.] 'Huh. Maybe Saya will know. Oh hey! I didn't throw up that time! SCORE! *mental fist pump*'
The spaceship door opens.
Ike - "Help me doy tair." 'Oh thank God. And I'm sure Saya will be extremely relieved to know he's fine now.'
Kyle - 'Ike, jump down, now! For the love of God, Ike, jump!" 'Dude!'
Ike - "Don't hurt me." 'Poor Ike.'
A herd of cows runs away from the ship, but a trio of Visitors stops them in their tracks. The cows moo and quiver with fear until the middle Visitor raises its hand and addresses them.
Visitor - "Moo... Moo...Moo...Moo... (Greetings, cows of Earth. We come in peace.)"
Cows - "Moo?? (Really??)"
Kyle - "Come on, Ike! I promise I'll be nice to you from now on!" 'No you want. Or, at least not as bad.'
Ike - "Don't kick the baby." 'That will only last for a few hours, or for about a day.'
Visitor - "Moo moo, moo. Moo moo, moo. Moo. (We have experimented with all the beings of Earth, and we have learned that you are the most intelligent and wise.)"
Cartman - "What the hell are they talking about?" 'Really. If Saya was here, she'll know. She's always been able to understand animals WAY better than anyone I've ever known.'
Cow - "Moo moo? (Why did you turn some of us inside out?)"
Visitor - "Moo moo, moo. Moo. (Oh, that was Carl's fault. He's new.)"
Visitor Carl - "Moo...moo...moo. (Yeah, sorry about that. My bad!)"
Kyle - "Ike!"
Visitor - "Moo moo. Moo moo. Moo. (Take this device. It is a gift from us.)"
The cows look at each other and moo in agreement.
Kyle - "Ike! Do your impersonation of David Caruso's career!" 'That'll work.'
Ike - "It's my turn!"
Ike dives from the ship into the snow. The satellite goes back into Cartman's butt.
Visitor - "Moo moo. Moo moo. (Farewell cows, peace be with you!)"
The Visitors disappear. The spaceship pulls Cartman up but the rope keeps him grounded.
Cartman - "You guys, get me down from here!" [He farts fire, burning the rope. The tractor beam takes him into the ship and the spaceship flies away.] "Ow! Help! Sons o' bitches! Dildos!"
Stan - "Phew, I'm sure glad that's over with."
Kyle - "Yeah. Boy, am I glad to see you, Ike."
Ike - "Oh, he fly out the sky." 'Oh, the fat ass is gone. Oh well.'
THIRD PERSON'S POV:
Chef's yard.
Chef - "Wait, where are you going, alien Visitors? Come back!"
A blonde arrives with a brunette.
Blonde - "Well, Chef, where's this amazing thing you were going to show us?"
Chef - "Well, it's in the bedroom, ladies. Come on in."
Forest.
STAN'S POV:
Kyle - "Come on, Ike, we can make it just in time for dinner." [They leave.] 'Finally some alone time with Wendy.'
Stan - "Thanks for your help, Wendy." 'And for sticking around with me for so long.'
Wendy - 'Whatever, dude."
Stan - "Hey, I didn't throw up." 'Yes! FINALLY!'
Wendy - "Cool!" [She's happy now. They both look at each other like they're going to kiss, and that music plays again. Wendy puckers up. Stan gets queasy.]
Stan - "Bleech!" [He barfs right on her face.] 'GOD FUCKING DAMN IT!'
Wendy - "Eww!"
Stan - "Sorry." '*disappointed sigh*'
Wendy - "Hey, look. A French fry." 'Wait, is she REALLY looking through my puke right now!?'
Stan - "Cool."
Wendy - "And what is that?" 'Holy shit, she really is! The fuck!?'
Stan - "I think it's part of a Cheesy Poof."
Chef's song starts up and the camera pulls away.
Wendy - "Hey, what's that?"
Stan - "That's uummm... a hamburger from... that's from, like, two days ago." 'This is SO damn weird, AND gross.'
Wendy - "Oh hey, what about that?"
Stan - "I don't know what the hell that is..." 'What IS that thing?'
Bus Stop
STAN'S POV:
Stan - "Gee, the bus'll be here any minute, and Cartman still isn't around." 'Shit, and neither is Saya. REALLY hope she's okay. I'm getting really worried.'
Kyle - "Yeh, we're running out of friends." 'Ouch dude.
Stan - "I wonder what that thing was that the visitors gave the cows."
THIRD PERSON'S POV:
Cows out on a pasture
Cows - "Mooo."
Officer Barbrady - "Ha ha cows! I've got you cornered. Let's see you get away now." [One of the cows step on the plate on the alien device. A bolt of lightning strikes Officer Barbrady. His glasses fly off, and cheeks become rosy.]
♪ I love to sing-a ♪
♪ About the moon-a and the June-a and the Spring-a ♪
♪ I love to sing-a ♪
♪ About a sky of blue-a or a tea for two-a... ♪
[Cows begin hopping about gleefully]
Bus Stop. Cartman falls out of the sky, landing on his side next to Kyle and Stan.
STAN'S POV:
Cartman - "Puh!"
Stan - "Oh, hey Cartman." 'About time.'
Kyle - "Wow Cartman, the visitors dropped you off just in time to go to school." 'Like he'd care. He'd rather be eating, and watching Phillip and Terrance.'
Cartman - "Ah, man, I had this crazy nightmare last night."
Stan - "Really, what about?" 'Oh what now fat ass?'
Cartman - "Well, I was standing out in a field, and I had this huge satellite dish sticking out of my butt. And then there were... hundreds of cows and aliens, and then I went up on the ship and Scott Baio gave me pinkeye."
Stan - "That wasn't a dream, Cartman. That really happened."
Cartman - "Alright. Why don't I have pinkeye then?"
Kyle - "Cartman, you do have pinkeye!" 'Oh Saya will REALLY get a kick out of this lol!'
Cartman - "Ahh, son of a bitch!"
End of episode one!
(8029 words minus this.)