For Michael, it was impossible to take his eyes away from the beautiful girl across the dinner table. As his body continued to relax, numbed by the mild drugs and slow sips of champagne, his mind drifted away.
He pictured them together, her with her hair and makeup just like tonight, but dressed in white. The same gown her mother wore in the photo at Nicole's childhood home. He imagined whisking her away on a honeymoon. Where would she want to go? An island, maybe? They would play on the beach every day, eating exotic fruits, sipping frozen cocktails as their skin grew darker shades of ebony. The hotel suite would have a stunning view of the saltwater ocean. They'd make love with the sunrise every morning--
His thoughts were interrupted by the first course placed delicately before them. A cucumber and lobster salad. Michael studied her, as Nicole studied her plate, deconstructing and tasting each element, testing her knowledge of ingredients. She talked about the food in a way that didn't interest him, but he smiled anyway, pretending to focus on her words, not just the glow of her bare shoulders and exposed chest. With a long sip of his drink, his mind took him away again.
They would move out, obviously, but not too far from Mother. He wondered how long renovations would take on their dream home. At least 6 months? They could stay at the condo until then, but should start looking for a place right away! They would need lots of space-- land for the animals, a grand kitchen, a library with tall ceilings, and plenty of bedrooms for the children. They should conceive right away too! No need to take the pill once they've married. LaToya and Janet would love to babysit on days Nicole would be in class... though infancy is the most crucial time for children to be with their parents... No, Nicole's schooling would have to wait. She'd surely agree once he showed her some parenting textbooks on baby brain development. Not too long though, just until the children could be left with a nanny. With ten babies, she'd be back in school by--
Michael's face contorted as he tried to calculate the birth year of each imaginary child and the eventual date Nicole would be able to return as a student. Then he heard Nicole laugh, releasing him from his trance.
Nicole: What are you thinking about? You're so focused, you look like you're trying to make your glass levitate.
Michael: Oh! Uh, nothing really-- When does the semester return for you?
Nicole: Second week of January. I'm pretty excited. The English department is offering a study abroad course in London next year. I think I'd really like to go--
London, of course! Rich with history and romance and new foods, she'd love it there! A honeymoon would be ten times better than studying abroad anyway. No grades or tours with the whole class, just the two of them, lost together in a foreign city--
Nicole: And that way we could still see each other for New Years. You know, kiss at midnight and all that... What do you think?
Michael: ... Pardon?
Nicole: I mean, I know it's short notice and you're probably busy, but my family would love to see you again! And there are so many places I wanted to take you to that we just didn't have enough time before. Laura and I would always go out to this field in the middle of the desert and watch the fireworks go off as midnight hits. I think it'd be fun if you were there.
Michael: Oh...
Suddenly realizing the plate in front of him was now a bowl of butternut squash bisque, Michael wondered how long he'd been dreaming. How much did he miss? He saw his date, spinning her spoon nervously in her bowl before reaching for her champagne again.
Nicole: If you can't, I understand. That's okay--
Michael: Actually, Nicole, I should tell you something. I'm leaving for New York tonight--
Nicole: Tonight!?
Michael: Yes... We're taking the red eye out at midnight.
Nicole: Oh... What are you working on?
Michael: It's a new project, you see, and we're still working out the details--
Nicole: When will you be back?
Michael: We haven't got a date yet. It may take a while...
Nicole: Oh. Gosh, I sure will miss you.
Her soul was beautiful tonight, as her loving eyes matched his. Pushing his soup aside, Michael took a long drink from his glass, hesitating before reaching for Nicole's hand.
Michael: I want to ask you something...
Nicole: Yes?
Michael: Would you come with me?
Nicole: To New York?
Michael: Yes.
This time he noticed as the third course was brought out to replace the soup. A linguini with steak seared hard to just the right shade of pink inside. Nicole smiled at the perfect plating, then watched the waitress refill their champagne glasses. She was distracted by the new dish, again dissecting.
Michael: Nicole?
Nicole: Hmm?-- Why aren't you eating? This food is amazing!
Michael stuttered picking up his fork just to blindly tap it against the table linen.
Michael: Nicole, I asked you a question.
Nicole: You don't really want me to come with you, Michael.
Michael: But of course I do!
Nicole: Tonight?
Michael: Sure! Or after Christmas. I got a condo in the city. We'll stay together just like we did at your apartment. Just you and me--
Nicole: But you'll be working.
Michael: Yes, but--
Nicole: So what am I supposed to do?
Michael: Whatever you want, it's New York City!
Nicole just groaned, twirling the pasta between the prongs of her fork. Michael suddenly felt deflated. Her reaction wasn't at all what he was hoping for.
Michael: What about after the new year?
Nicole: But school--
Michael: Well, what if you didn't go back?
Nicole: What!? Why wouldn't I go back?
Michael: You could just... take a break.
Nicole: For what?
Michael: For us...
Squinting in confusion, Nicole sat down her fork and looked up to Michael. His expressions were warm and full of energy, but his words weren't making any sense.
Nicole: 'For us?'
Michael: Yeah, you know, it'll be like how we were... before...
Nicole: You want me to take a semester off to follow you to New York and watch you work?
He shrugged, smiling boyishly.
Michael: It could be fun.
His eyes were bright, but tired. Easily misread. Nicole confused his hope for something soft and playful, making her giggle.
Nicole: You're so silly, Michael!
Michael: But I--
Nicole: Could you imagine? Me, dropping out of school just to sit at your condo and cook and do your laundry all day?
Michael: Not just that! We'd explore the city together. And you can come with me to all my shows. We'll travel!--
Nicole: Right, right-- God, what would my parents say? They would lose it!
Michael: It doesn't matter what they think...
Nicole: And they were afraid of me bringing home a baby before we were even sleeping together, just imagine if we were living together! They wouldn't be able to sleep at night!
Michael: But--
Nicole: Oh God, could you imagine, me with a little baby?--
Michael: I think you'd be a great mother, Nicole! You're loving and warm and--
Nicole: And selfish and love my peace and quiet... Geez, I get so frustrated just cleaning up after you. Imagine you and a screaming toddler! With handfuls of crayons and food on their little face. Babies are so dirty and loud and I'd never be able to sleep! What a nightmare.
Michael's dream was her nightmare.
Nicole was laughing as she shook her head and reached for her champagne. Michael just stared as she pressed the glass to her lips. He was at a loss for words.
Nicole: I remember when I had lunch with all the girls on Family Day. It was so strange... All they would talk about were babies and marriage. Like it's the most important thing in life. And maybe it is, but that's all so foreign to me, you know? I don't understand things like that-- And they don't understand anything about a life like mine either. I wanted to get to know each of them as women and individuals. Their interests and passions-- what excites them, you know? But we never got that far. Those women put their lives on hold to have a family and, in a way, they've lost themselves. We're so young! I just wanted to shake them and say 'slow down'... I feel like I'm still learning who I am, you know?
He swallowed hard. His body weak from wine and an empty stomach. Michael looked down to his steak, then cut into its warm flesh. The juices ran a little. He took a bite.
The waitress approached again, replacing their plates with "braised lamb shank with chicory and potato dauphinoise," whatever that meant. She topped off their glasses until the bottle dripped to nothing.
His daydreaming had faded. All Michael could do now was stare at the plate before him. He was sad and disappointed. But he didn't blame Nicole. He couldn't. She was consistent, unchanging in her stance from their last discussion on marriage. They agreed to be selfish. Marriage didn't allow selfishness, it required work and constant compromise.
Nicole: You look so tired...
She was at his side, gently easing her way to sit on his lap. He welcomed her, relishing in her warmth and soft hands and sweet smells. She kissed his cheek and fingered the curls at his neck.
Nicole: I'm so full. I might rip out of this dress if I keep eating-- like The Hulk!
She laughed, finally forcing him to smile a little though he didn't say anything back. His fingers danced along the seams of her gown. Reaching for his fork, Nicole stirred it on his plate, then brought it to his lips. The food was good, tasting better, Michael thought, because it was from her hands. She spoke softly, continuing to feed him one small bite at a time.
Nicole: Thank you for all of this, Michael. I feel like Cinderella or something... My whole life became a fairy tale once I met you. Do you ever think about how rare it is that you and I are here together? The stars really aligned just for us to meet that night, you know, but to get to where we are now... After all the obstacles and things that make us so different, we're still here.
Michael stayed silent.
Nicole: You've made me such a better person in a way. I'm more open-minded, I think. You taught me so much new culture with music and films and books, but also in seeing how you treat people and how the world treats you. Judging you. It makes me want to be better. I want to love humanity the way you do. I think about our first date a lot, you know. And the way most of the world lives in black and white. We force each other into categories of smart or dumb or rich or poor or ugly or beautiful or right or wrong. It shouldn't be that way. You live in this dream world with all the shades of color! It makes the world a much more beautiful place, I think. So, I might not be able to see all the colors yet, but I see a lot clearer than I used to. And I thank you for that.
He looked up at her, watching the way she continued to play with the fork on his plate. Her words were patient and genuine. Then she laughed, turning back to him sharply.
Nicole: Sorry! I was rambling. Oh boy, I think this champagne is having an effect on me!
Michael laughed with her now. It was having an effect on him too. The waitress joined with the final course. Nicole gasped when she saw it, having completely forgotten about the chocolate cake Michael promised. Then embarrassed by her childish reaction, she hid her face behind her hands. Michael laughed, squeezing her closer. This was the reaction he'd been looking for all night. Regardless of its direction, he was thrilled to see it.
Both plates sat before them, perfect twins of rich dark chocolate. He couldn't help but grin as Nicole anxiously dipped a spoon into the layers. The taste was sweet, but not too sugary, warm and a little sticky. There was a perfect balance of salt and bitterness. Michael watched Nicole close her eyes and press her lips tight together. She dropped the spoon to brace her hand on the table, the other hand covered the exposed skin of her chest. It looked like she was having an out of body experience.
Michael: How is it?
Nicole: Michael, I-- It's so good...
Her words drifted to a slow, lingering sigh.
Nicole: It's like...
He'd recognized this euphoric expression from her several times before.
Michael: Sex?
He noticed the shift of her legs as she nodded and a slow smile formed. He gripped her tighter as she leaned forward, pulling off another bite with her spoon. This one for Michael. Their eyes locked as she fed him, Nicole eager to see his reaction... Oh, it was good. Very good. But Michael contained himself, nodding simply as his tongue passed over his lips.
Nicole: It's incredible, isn't it?
Still nodding, Michael pulled her in for a kiss. The taste of chocolate on the other's tongue reminded them instantly of the night with Debussey on the hotel floor. Michael's fingers flexed hard on her silk-covered hips until she pulled away just enough to see his eyes. His voice was gruff as he whispered.
Michael: I'd rather have sex.
His forwardness surprised them both, invoking a soft, but audible gasp from Nicole. Michael didn't shy away, only making the warmth in her belly grow to flames in an instant. She chuckled a little, now feeling the overwhelming urge to challenge him back. Twisting into him, her knee casually searched his inner thighs. Nicole pressed her lips to his earlobe.
Nicole: I have a secret...
Michael: Hmm?
Her pause felt like minutes as she wiggled on his lap.
Nicole: I'm not wearing any panties.
Oh boy.