i recently got writers block that was probably because of my depressive episode but im feeling better seeing everyones votes and comments on this story.
this is a changlix bonus chapter but it explains more about junho since there is a lot of confusion.
another note, please be mindful of you comments. as you know english is not my strength and there might be some mistakes or misunderstandings. just kindly ask me for clarification instead of assuming or demanding anything from me.
stay safe
♥︎
"are you sure they'll like the surprise?"
"binnie stop worrying about it! they've been asking for one non stop."
changbin sighed in defeat as he still worried about the decision they had just made. felix noticed immediately wrapped his arms around the olders neck making changbin visibly less tense.
"i don't know what i seriously would've done without you." changbin said sincerely as he holds felix close "and we wouldn't have insu." changbin adds shaking his head at the thought of not having the adorable four month old. "don't think about that, you have all of us and we have you. plus all we did was get them a puppy." felix said smiling shaking his head at the olders reaction.
"relax binnie everything will be fine." felix said as he played with few strands of hair on the back of changbins head. felix was caught of guard when changbin started placing gentle kisses alongside his jaw trailing down his neck.
just then the from gate alarm rang making felix get out of changbins hold and rush to open the door waiting for his babies. the moment he unlocked the front door joonie rushed in straight to felix arms.
"lixie! i missed you!"
"you were only gone for three hours."
jeongin laughed as he walked in with insu who immediately wanted to be held by changbin. chan walked in with the small bag with the kids necessities handing it over to felix.
felix smiles as he sees changbin holding insu with one arm while hugging joonsu with his other as they giggle.
once felix gets back he takes hold of insu. "can i have my surprise now?" joonsu asked his parents who nodded as changbin and chan walked out of the living room to get the surprise.
"lixie! innie said i would have more cousins in the future isn't that fun!!" joonsu said making felixs eyes widen as he looks over to jeongin. "i said maybe and in a few years!" jeongin said mostly to joonie who giggled.
felix didn't get a chance to speak when changbin walked in with the small golden retriever followed by chan who was laughing at how changbin carried the puppy.
"a puppy! lixie! you and daddy got me and insu a puppy!" joonsu said excitedly jumping up and down as changbin placed the puppy on joonsus lap.
"yes, chan and innie will show how to properly take care of him." felix said as he held a sleepy insu in his arms. joonsu cheered as he held the puppy while chan and jeongin talked about how to take care of the new family member.
felix smiled at the sight but noticed how changbin held his gaze on the newest portrait. felix looked at jeongin who also noticed and signaled for him to hand insu over while suggesting to chan and joonie to go outside.
changbin stared at new portrait, the one that replaced the one with junho. every single time changbin saw joonie getting excited or his eyes light up he saw junho. joonie constantly reminded him of junho. now the pictures were gone replaced with an updated one of all four of them yet it was still difficult to adjust to.
"we can change it back, you know?"
changbin turned around and looked felix smiling behind him. shaking his head changbin held felixs hand "no absolutely not. i like this one."
"but you miss seeing junho don't you?"
changbin shook his head "im just not used it. i saw the same picture for almost nine years." felix smiled as he gave changbins hand a small squeeze "you know i don't nor wouldn't mind pictures of junho. i know he was a big part of your life and hes also joonies appa. it's a role i would never take away from either you. we can change it back any time you want."
"i love you," changbin turned to look at felix and gave him a sencere smile "thank you for understanding."
felix smiled brightly as he leaned his head on changbins shoulder. "changbin?"
changbin hummed as he continues to stare at the portrait. "we haven't talked much about junho other than that one time. do you want to talk about it?" felix asked making changbin sigh closing his eyes "you don't-"
"let's sit down first." changbin said as he guided felix over to the living room where they saw chan and joonie trying to teach the puppy tricks.
taking a deep breath in changbin starts talking "junhos birthday is coming up-" for some reason changbin couldn't finish the sentence. that's when he realized the reason he hadn't been able to talk about it. felix reached over holding both their hands together giving changbin a reassuring smile; the smile that made changbin feel everything was fine.
"his birthday is at the end of this month, the same month as joonie. november, but it's also the month i lost both yunho and my father.
I remember how junho would joke around about joonie being born the same day as his birthday. we even made a silly bet that if he did I wouldn't change a single diaper." changbin laughed lightly making felix more relief seeing bin less distressed.
(not me typing yunho instead of junho, like right idea but the wrong bitch lol )
"junho won and joonie was born four days before his birthday and four days after the day my father passed away. we always said that dad sent us joonie to bring us happiness.
i had never seen junho that happier than when he found out he was pregnant with joonsu. he would make sure to follow everything the doctor recommended. he would walk around talking to joonie in his tummy way before he even had ears.
he read books and books about parenting. we would lay in bed at four in the morning eating french fries talking about what brand of blankets were the best.we dreamed about loving each other forever.
every single november theres one rainy day that just reminds me how that didn't happen.
junho started getting stomach pains as soon as he gave birth to joonie. i didn't see it concerning back then until two months later they were still there and seemed stronger.
the pains were extremely intense that junhos knees whould give out from pain. i remember seeing him in so much pain and not being able to do much but to hold him safely in my arms.
he refused to go to the doctor or any medical facility. no matter how much i expressed my concern he would deny. i didn't want to force junho to do anything he didn't want to do especially on how worked up he would he get about the subject.
as the days passed by he wouldn't leave joonies side and would constantly ask me to work less. during that time he suggested we take that picture, the one and only family picture as three that i would ever have. i have a feeling thats when he knew how severe his pain was.
i took a few days of work to be home with both of them and that's when junho fainted holding joonsu in his arms. i don't know what would've happened if i wasn't there.
he was immediately rushed to the hospital and it was there where we found out. he was at stage four pancreatic cancer and he was given four to six months of life.
junho immediately begged to be taken back home. i hired a nurse twenty four seven and took time off work. i did all the research i could to find the best doctors or treatments but no doctor would give us hope seeing the stage junho was.
november quickly came and that cold rainy day was a sign of what would come. junho got a severe pain that the nurse called an ambulance immediately. junho didn't want to go unless he could hold joonie.
once we got to the hospital the doctor gave me that one look that said what i least wanted to hear. I called everyone to come and say our goodbyes.
junho spoke to jisung first since jisung was his favorite nurse they immediately clicked. junho is the reason i hire minho and jeongin after jisung had talked to him about their job searching. all i know was that he asked to make sure me and joonie would eat a homemade meal. which is the reason why jisung would cook for us before you showed up."
felix softly laughed at the last comment "maybe we should get jisung to cook for all us again." changbin smiled shaking his head before continuing.
"junho then talked to minho and till this day i haven't gotten a clear response from minho. from what han was able to get from him was that junho asked minho to look over our safety and to drive us safely.
with jeongin, i remember how both of them were crying by the end of their conversation. junho asked jeongin to make sure no one with malicious intentions get close to me. which is why he has this joke he plays on every new employee that we're dating to get their genuine reaction.
hyunjin and yunho had the shortest conversation out of everyone. it was because hyunjin didn't want to get emotional. junho simply asked him to have patience with me, I didn't learn about this until the day of our wedding when hyunjin said he would pass that over to you."
felix couldn't help but chuckle "i think im doing a pretty good job at it. considering how you treated me the first few times we ever met."
changbin rubbed his face "i thought you forgave me and we would forget that ever happened."
"now ill forget it, now keep going."
"right, next was seungmin they had the longest conversation. usually seungmin is composed and put together but those days you wouldn't recognize him. seungmin is the only one who has ever shared everything junho said to him. mainly junho knew me better than i knew myself. he knew i wouldn't be able to take care of joonie alone for the few months after he would pass away and basically gave the responsibility to seungmin.
seungmin took care of joonsu to the point anyone would think it was his child. Even with you here, hyunjin and seungmin still treat him like their own."
changbin stopped to take a small break getting a soft kiss from felix as they watched the puppy run across the backyard.
"what about you?"
"me?"
"yes what did you and junho promised each other?"
"junho made me promise to move on. in that exact moment my heart didn't even accept those words. I was mad at him for asking me to that when my love only belonged to him. regardless i had to agree to him.
truthfully i didn't look nor spared a glance at anyone for five years. someone caught my eye but unfortunately didn't pass jeongins test and was just in it for the money. it gave me a bad experience that i thought there was no reason to even try moving on.
thats why when you showed up in november and stared at the portrait i had a feeling that you would hurt joonie. i had never been that defensive over him until you came."
changbin leaned over to give felix a kiss who returned it "the last thing i would do in this world is hurt joonie, hurt my children. And I wouldn't hurt you either." felix said before adding "now I realized why you were so stressed out last november when insu wasn't even born yet, it hadn't even three months since we had found out.
im sure junho is proud of everyone for keeping their promises. im more then positive hes proud at you for being able to move on and live, live your life along with joonie. now you have me and insu!
and my promise to junho is that i'll make sure november is never dull for you anymore.
how let's hurry and quickly stop chan from trying to get everyone in the pool!"
♥︎
i saw some comments saying how changbin sounded like a karen or abusive however i hope this chapter clears that up since his character was only protecting his child.
2180 words finished at 1:05am
ill drop the last bonus chapter sometime this coming week!