Simultaneously it had been the worst and best week of Ezra's life.
The best parts had been an indescribable feeling of liberation. The freedom of acting upon his own volition, doing what he wants, giving Colby a blowjob. Isolated, those aspects were fantastic. Especially when he was at school and surrounded by people who genuinely cared about him.
However, once school ended and those people all returned to their homes, reality would strike Ezra to remind him that he no longer had that privilege. He hadn't thought going home to be much of a privilege when he could do it; as it would often lead to him either being yelled at by his father or simply returning to a house too cold and too big for one person alone.
As soon as the school day is over, he is forced to -once again- obsess over the fact that his own father kicked him out and his own mother refuses to help.
He'd been sleeping in his car at the school car park for the past week. Nobody really questioned it as he tended to stay late after school anyway to avoid going home. He still had access to his bank account so he wasn't starving and he used the showers in the gym and the school bathroom for other hygiene matters.
Maybe his father was right. Maybe he should've been more grateful for the roof over his head and having his own bed. But, then again, isn't that just the bare necessities you're supposed to give your child? If so, somebody should tell his parents about this radical idea.
On Saturday evening, he had spent the evening eating a warm meal with Colby's family and lounging on Colby's bed. It was a welcome distraction.
Ezra was lying on Colby's chest with his arms wrapped around his torso as Colby gave him a shoulder massage. Sleeping in the car wasn't exactly good for your back. "I just don't believe salmonella is real, I mean, how can you get sick from an egg? You're just eating a chicken's period. How can that make you ill? I don't know, maybe I'm just built different." Colby rambled nonsensically.
Ezra laughed. "Something about the way you're built is definitely different. A brain malfunction perhaps?"
Colby dug his elbow into Ezra's shoulder causing him to groan. "Oi! I'm giving you a back massage, the least you can do is listen to my thoughts and try to catch up with my progressive way of thinking."
"Progressive? That's a big word for you, Colby." Ezra teased, turning his head up to give Colby a boyish smile.
Colby dug both his elbows into Ezra's back.
"Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow." Ezra whined. He didn't move away from Colby but instead just hugged him even harder. Eventually, Colby let up his attack once Ezra had pleaded for mercy.
"You staying the night?" Colby asked. "I have to go to Sophie's church thing at 6:30 but I should be back by 8ish, you can stay here till I get back?"
"Can't." Ezra replied. He was thoroughly disappointed that he couldn't stay, although, Colby's new habit of inviting Ezra to stay over as often as he could was very endearing. "I'm meeting with someone tonight."
"Who?"
"My mom."
*
How long had it been since Ezra had last seen his mom in person? Four years? Three? They would sometimes talk on the phone, but other than that...
He was sitting in a small coffee shop that was known for staying open late at night. It had the typical hipster aesthetic. The walls were painted red with the words 'Live, Laugh, Love Coffee' written in white on top and the floors were covered in laminated wood. The shop unsurprisingly stank of the bitter smell of coffee and there was an indie song that Ezra could hardly understand the lyrics of playing in the background.
He felt unsettled. He couldn't stop fiddling with anything within his reach; from the paper straws on the table to the fabric of his own shirt. He tapped his foot to a fast paced rhythm that he couldn't hear and he kept scanning the street outside for signs of his mother.
She arrived 20 minutes later than agreed. She walked into the shop wearing a long fur coat. She looked much healthier and much happier than the last time he'd seen her, as at that time she had been going through an ugly divorce with Ezra's dad.
Ezra had definitely inherited his mother's looks as they had the same blonde hair and blue eyes.
She smiled at him when she spotted him and came to take the seat opposite him.
"You've gotten so big since the last time I saw you." His mother said sweetly. "It's been so long, darling." She placed her hand very gently on top of Ezra's that rested on the table.
He hadn't seen her in so long. It's not that he hadn't wanted to but after what happened in court.
"Yeah, it's been a while. You look good." Was the best response he could muster.
She giggled, "Thank you. I read your texts about... your current situation. Are you sure your father won't let you back in?"
If you're asking me that then you clearly haven't read my texts, Ezra thought. "He won't unless-" Was this his coming out to her? He'd written in the texts about why his father had kicked him out so technically she already knew, but saying it in person was a lot scarier than he had anticipated. "-unless I stop seeing my boyfriend and date girls."
"I see." His mother replied. "Well, can't you just do that?"
"No."
"Why not?"
"Because I am tired of having to do everything he wants, not being who I am. I am exhausted of having to please him every second of the day just so he doesn't kick me out for not listening to him." How could she of all people ask him why he couldn't continue to live under the tyrannical rule of his father when she had been the one to leave without taking Ezra with her.
"I understand, Ezra, I do. But, this doesn't seem like too hard of a request. High school relationships don't tend to last and maybe it is all a phase, don't throw away your future because of feelings that you have right now." She responded calmly, but he knew what she was doing.
"There is another option though, isn't there? I could come live with you so that I -a 17 year old- could have a place to sleep and I could live freely. Just like you."
His mother removed her hand from his and the gentle smile fell from her face. "I know what it is you're asking of me, Ezra, but this was already sorted out by the court. Your father has full custody of you because I-" don't want you, Ezra thought, admit it, say it "- don't have the capabilities and resources to look after you."
"All I'm asking for is a place to sleep. Nothing else. You don't have to pay for anything for me, just give me a bed like mothers are supposed to." It was a blow but he was so fucking tired of this stupid game between his parents. Could he even call them parents? He didn't think they deserved the title.
"The court said that I have no custody of you. Do you want me to break the law? Plus I've gotten remarried and I don't know how he would feel about this whole arrangement. I want things to work this time around, Ezra. Don't you want me to be happy?"
He was furious. How dare she come here and use the Court as her excuse. How dare she come and try and guilt trip him into going back to his father so that she doesn't have to look after him. How dare she use all these excuses when it simply boiled down to the fact that she didn't want her old life intercepting with her new one.
"I am sorry, darling. I can give you money to help with finances. Maybe you could buy your own place, you're old enough to be independent."
"I'm only 17."
"Exactly, nearly old enough to be living alone whilst you go to University, consider this practice for living on your own." She smiled at him as if she was offering genuine advice.
"I get it. I don't know how you and dad's marriage failed when you two and your fucking self-centred egos were practically made for each other. I'll take your money and I won't contact you again. I get it." He stood up from the table and stormed out, his mother didn't try to stop him, after all she'd gotten what she wanted.
He got back into his car and drove to the school's empty parking lot and tried to will himself to go to sleep so he didn't have to obsess about what he had done to deserve parents like his.
*
He awoke to a pounding sound. He tried to ignore it as his brain hadn't woken up enough to remember where he was. Once he'd woken up, however, he shot up from his lying down position nearly hitting his head on the car roof. His heart nearly stopped when he saw Colby standing outside his car.
He collected himself and put a brave face on before getting out the car.
"What's up with you, Colby?" He tried to play off. "Can't a guy take a nap around here."
Colby looked like he was about to cry but also like he was about to beat the shit out of Ezra. "You've been sleeping in your car for the past week, haven't you?" He all but yelled at him. Thank god nobody else was around.
"What? No. I was just out late last night and didn't want to be told off by my dad so I decided to sleep here for the night. I'll just tell him I stayed the night at Brent's and it'll all be fine. Don't worry about it."
"I'm not that stupid, Ezra! I'm sorry that I didn't notice before, but I see it now, you dummy. Why didn't you tell me? I would do anything to help you." Ezra still wasn't sure whether he was going to get punched by Colby so he tensed a bit when Colby ran towards him. Colby wrapped his arms and squeezed Ezra against him as hard as he could. "You're such an idiot, you're dumber than I am."
Ezra hugged Colby back and felt like he was about to collapse. There was something so draining about finally being caught, but not in a bad way. In this case, it felt like he finally had some of the weight taken off of him for a second, he was able to breath properly if only for a minute.
Colby took Ezra's hand and dragged him to a nearby car. That's when he saw Jemma looking at him with a worried expression as well.
She didn't ask him what was wrong or what was happening, she simply asked: "Should we take you home, dear?" He didn't even have to answer as the mother-son duo forced him in. He locked his car and agreed that he'd get it on Monday.
The drive was silent. Colby still clung to his hand and Ezra refused to let go as well.
They arrived at the Williams household and Mr Williams was in the kitchen cooking something that smelled divine.
"That took longer than expected." He called to them as they entered, he peeped his head around the corner to look at them. "Morning, Ezra." He greeted before going back to the kitchen.
"Colby, why don't you go get some clean clothes and other things for Ezra." Jemma gently ordered Colby.
"But-" Colby tried to argue and squeezed Ezra's hand tighter.
Jemma smiled at the action. "I'm just going to have a quick word with him, okay?"
Colby nodded and reluctantly let go of Ezra's hand.
Jemma led Ezra out into the garden, then sat down on some garden chairs and closed the glass door that cut it off from the house.
"Do you want to tell me what happened?" She asked. Compared to seeing his own mother last night, something about Jemma's genuine concern for Ezra made him tell her everything that had happened between him and his father that had led to him being kicked out.
Jemma didn't interrupt and listened to every word that Ezra poured out. He got the same feeling as when he had been caught by Colby, a weight being lifted from him.
When he finally finished, Jemma began to talk. "Oh, my dear." She held his hand and -like her concern- there was something genuine about it. "When I was your age, I was kicked out of my house too, you know."
"Why?" He couldn't help but ask.
"When I was in high school, I was quite the school slut. I didn't have the greatest childhood growing up and for some reason there was something about sex that would just make me feel better for a brief amount of time. When I turned 16 I banged this nerd so that he would do my science homework for me and the very next day he said he was madly in love with me. Anyways, that scrawny nerd was called Trevor Williams and he had the weakest pull out game in existence and I didn't like the way condoms felt; it was a recipe for disaster.
Naturally, I got pregnant after a few hook ups with Trevor from that killer combo we had going on and my parents found out. They said, and I'll always remember this, 'My daughter isn't a whore, you are a whore and therefore you're not my daughter.' And just like that I was out on my own. Trevor has gone off to Uni as he had been in the year above, and I just remembered so vividly how helpless and alone I felt.
After a few weeks of roughing it, I managed to get back in touch with Trevor when he came to visit his family and I decided I would tell him that I was pregnant with his kid. I was expecting him to give me some abortion money or tell me to get fucked. Instead he promised me then and there that he'll do anything to look after the baby and me. Williams men are just different like that." She laughed to herself as she looked through the glass door to see Colby and his dad messing about in the kitchen.
"I know what you're going through, Ezra. It seems like hell right now but I promise you it gets better. The universe has got a plan and that included getting you out of that horrid place and now you can live for yourself and that's what I want you to do."
She leaned towards him and placed her hands on his shoulders. "Sometimes you gotta be a little bit selfish, Ezra. It's nice to think of others but what do you want? Who is Ezra Dickinson and what does he want out of his life? You can stay here for as long as you need. You're going to be okay."
His entire body gave in on itself and he collapsed onto Jemma. She cradled his head and stroked his hair. She kept whispering to him as he wept, "You are going to be okay."