Up with your turret
Aren't we just terrified
The whole hall immediately erupted into cries of disapproval and protest. Harry's head was spinning, he felt sick knowing he had to share a dorm with that wretched boy all year. He looked over at the Slytherin table to find the blonde fuming just as Harry was. Hermione and Ron were already jabbering on about how this was complete bollocks.
"I'm so sorry Harry this is absolutely awful" Hermione offered a wry smile. "Good luck with that bloke mate" Ron said, still stuffing his face. "I.. um.. It's fine I can do this I can stay civil and calm I'm mature enough..right?" Harry said, looking at his two best friends for reassurance. They both nodded in agreement. The rest of the feast Harry sat there poking at his food, barely eating any. The thought of Draco being in the same room as himself made Harry want to yack.
This piece of news meant no calm year for Harry. No way he could have a quiet year living with Draco Malfoy.
The feast was over and students started filing out of the Great Hall. Harry was on his way out with Hermione and Ron when he heard his name called as well as Draco's. "Oh well I guess this is it." Harry said, pulling his friends into a hug "I will see you both everyday for meals and in our classes so this shouldn't be that bad right?" Harry smiled sadly while pulling away from the warm welcoming embrace "Yeah of course mate" Ron smiled the same smile Harry had on.
"Harry remember you're mature enough to handle this." Hermione smiled and lead Ron out of the hall. Harry watched them go as he heard a slow clap behind him. "Awe such a sweet moment within the golden trio" A voice who he immediately identified to be Draco's, taunted him.
Harry turned around to face him. "Yes a very sweet moment of me saying bye to my friends Malfoy." Harry didn't make eye contact with Draco because well Draco was very intimidating, but Harry wouldn't let himself look a like a scared child.
"You three make me sick." Draco spat out and crossed his arms. "Good to know" Harry smirked triumphantly, attempting to make Draco angry. Attempting to make himself appear confident. It seemed to work because Draco simply turned on his heel walking towards Dumbledore.
Harry followed and stood in front of Dumbledore waiting for him to address Draco and himself. "Ah my two head boys" Dumbledore simply smiled down at them. "I know this is hard considering you two have been mortal enemies since first year."
They both scowled at the same time, clearly both annoyed at the utter shit Dumbledore was speaking. "But maybe this will be an opportunity for a new friendship...Now I've already had house elves take your things to your new dorm." Dumbledore pulled a lemon drop out of a bowl next to him and popped it into his mouth.
Harry looked down at his feet not knowing what else to do. Draco was looking at Dumbledore waiting for the next idiotic thing that would come out of his mouth. "Well come on boys let me show you to your new housing" He smiled and got up walking in front of us, expecting us to follow. Harry started walking but Draco cut him off. "I will always walk in front of you, I will always be on top of you," Draco spat at him and followed Dumbledore through the many twists and turns of Hogwarts until they finally reached their dorm. It was in a secluded part of the building.
There wasn't much else going on around it. On the right side of the door there was a Gryffindor flag, on the left side was a Slytherin flag. They had clearly already prepared for their arrival. "The password is Phoenix as of now..you boys can change it to whatever you please" Dumbledore said then he repeated the password to the painting which happened to be Salazar Slytherin. Harry thought that Dumbledore hated that guy.
They entered the room and both boys were in awe of how gorgeous the room was. There was a fireplace with a gorgeous red couch placed in front of it. A coffee table with the Gryffindor and Slytherin emblems on it. Two red armchairs, a white fluffy rug, and four doors. "This place needs more green" Draco said crossing his arms and raising a disapproving eyebrow.
"Your room has plenty green Mr. Malfoy." Dumbledore said softly and cooly. "Now the door on the right side is Harry's bedroom, the door on the left is Draco's bedroom, the door towards the back of the room leads to the study."
"The study has two desks so both of you can work at the same time if needed" Dumbledore smiled satisfied with himself. "Sir you forgot to mention anything about that door" Harry pointed to a door, making sure his sleeve didn't lift past his wrist, in between his and Draco's room. "Oh yes my apologies, this door leads to the bathroom" Dumbledore smiled to himself.
"The bathroom, as in only one?" Draco did not look impressed "Yes Mr. Malfoy is that a problem?" Dumbledore simply turned to look at him.
"Well yes I cannot share a bathroom with this git he will take up all the tim-" Draco was cut off by Harry "No sir there is not problem thank you for taking time to show us to our room I believe we can take it from here"
Harry smiled insincerely just wanting Dumbledore to go away. Harry had already dealt with enough Dumbledore for the day. "Oh well yes I do believe there is no reason for me to be here anymore, you boys get comfortable and make yourselves at home. Goodbye"
Dumbledore left the room and the painting closed behind him. Harry sat there for a moment just staring at a wall. "Well then Potter, stay out of my way and I'll do the same for you." Draco said with anger as always. Just as Harry was about to be rude back the painting opened back up. "Oh and you boys have been excused from your classes for the first three days so you can become accommodated to your new room" Dumbledore said with a smile and left once more.
"We have got to change that password" Draco and Harry had both said at the same time. "For once we agree on something, I don't want that twit popping in whenever he pleases." Harry said with anger brooding in his tone.
"You don't want your beloved Dumbledore to come check in on little old Golden Boy?" Draco said and it hurt Harry. He hated the nickname 'Golden Boy' it made him out to be much more than he was. Harry had said nothing and just continued talking about the password. "What do you want the password to be Malfoy." Harry asked. He looked up at Draco who seemed to be looking at Harry with a questioning look.
Harry looked down at arm where his sleeve had lifted, it was only the backside so if Draco saw anything it wasn't the...markings upon his wrist. Harry swiftly pulled the sleeve down and looked back up to Draco. Draco seemed to have a look of concern or worry, but he quickly dropped that look.
"You can choose I don't care but don't make it something Gryffindor like" Draco said not as angrily as if he was still thinking about the bruise he had seen. Quite a large bruise. Right on the backside of his wrist. It looked as if he had been grabbed roughly. Like someone grabbed him aggressively and dragged him away.
What or who had caused that? Draco thought. He was getting slightly angry at the thought of someone putting their hands on Harry like that. Draco tried to push the thoughts aside. He convinced himself he wasn't getting angry because someone was hurting Harry, it was because he wasn't the one doing it.
"What did you decide for the password Potter?" Draco said trying his best to sound cold and angry. "Unicorn Hair" Harry said smiling. "Interesting choice Potter what made you choose it?" Harry was not about to admit that he knew Draco's wand was unicorn hair core. "It just had a nice ring to it" Harry said with a convincing smile. "Do you need to use the restroom?" Harry asked, that had probably came out oddly.
"What kind of question is that potter?" Draco said "No no, not like that I was going to take a shower, I was just asking so if you had to use it you could before I did." Harry said now embarrassed and a little red in the cheeks. "Oh well no I don't have to, go shower Potter you smell anyways" Draco said glaring down at him. "Oh alright " Harry immediately turned away and scurried to the bathroom.
Harry turned on the shower then undressed and laid his robes out on the counter. He stared at himself for a moment, absolutely hating what he saw. He saw bruises on his body, he could see his ribs. He saw all the times his family had hit him.
He saw all the times he had cried himself to sleep. He saw all the times he went to bed without breakfast, lunch, or dinner. He had saw how weak he was and how inferior it made him feel. He tore himself away from the mirror and got in the shower. He felt the hot water hitting him and relaxing all his tense muscles.
He could hear a door shut and figured Malfoy went to his room. Harry sat down in the shower and tried not to cry once more about how ugly and weak he felt. He ran his hand through his hair and started washing himself. He ran his finger along each one of his ribs. Harry wanted to cry, break down, and hide. He wouldn't, not this time. He finished washing himself and got out.
He wrapped a towel around his waist and went to grab his clothes which were now missing. Bollocks, the house elves always cleaning something they shouldn't be. He sighed and kept the towel wrapped around his waist. Harry unlocked the door and walked out. He was on his way to his room when he stopped dead in his tracks to see the blonde staring at him from the couch with a book in his hand. Harry's cheeks went red with embarrassment. No one is supposed to see his weaknesses.
Always told 'don't let anyone see any weakness' 'always cover up your sadness or fear'. Harry tore his eyes away from Draco's concerned gaze and ran to his room. He shut the door behind him and felt tears streaming down his face. Harry quickly wiped them and got dressed. He was embarrassed. Someone had seen him how he truly was. Even worse it was Malfoy who would probably tell the whole school and make fun of him.
Harry sat down on his bed he hadn't even looked around his new room yet, he was too busy being embarrassed and trying not to cry. Harry put his head in his hands when he heard a knock at his door. His heart skipped a beat. Harry was about to be made fun of or beaten up he thought. "Y- yes?" Harry said trying to keep a steady tone.
"Potter" Harry's heart dropped. Harry quickly wiped his eyes and got up to open the door. "Have you come here to pick on me or beat me up? Pick one and get it over with." Harry said sounding tired and sad. "No..I.." His gaze dropped down to Harry's now fully clothed body, wondering where he had got all the bruises. Draco was about to continue speaking when he saw rough ragged red lines along Harry's wrist. Harry noticed and pulled his sleeves down further hoping Draco hadn't seen.
Maybe golden boy wasn't so perfect after all. Draco felt his heart sink, had Harry been harming himself? Was it because he was always such an insufferable git to Harry? "Why do you have so many bruises" Draco said staring at him "No reason malfoy, I'm really not in the mood to speak about this." Harry stayed in front of the entry way not letting him in.
"Tell me I would just love to know how you got all of those ugly bruises" Draco said smirking Harry felt tears threaten to sting his eyes. He knew they were ugly, he knew he was ugly. "Why do you care?" Harry scowled, really not in the mood to be picked on. Draco looked dumbfounded for a second as he sort of just stared at Harry. "I don't" Draco said coldly. His eyes narrowing slightly.
"It's none of your business where I've gotten them, I would like if you could keep this between us please. Don't tell anyone." Harry looked at him with a hint desperation. "I don't see the big deal Potter. Fine" Draco said but he looked like he had more to say, turns out he did.
"Well then looks like I'll be on my way back to my much better color schemed room, this one has much too red and gold" Draco looked hesitant almost as if he regretted saying what he had. "Yeah right Malfoy, red and gold are much more elegant than that wretched green that you and all your Slytherin worship." Harry chuckled at his own remark. Draco looked impressed. "Didn't know you had some snake in you." Draco smirked.
Back in the Gryffindor quarters Hermione was trying to have a serious discussion with Ron. Ron on the other hand was too busy complaining about how hungry he was. "I think something is seriously wrong with Harry, didn't you notice he's acting a little..off?" Ron simply shrugged "I didn't notice much" Hermione scoffed
"You never do. It's just ever since the battle he's been...different or possibly distant.
"Listen I may be over the hill on this one but I swear I saw a hint of red on his right wrist" Ron looked up at her shocked and leaned in close "You think he.." Ron looked around to make sure no one was listening and leaned in "...cuts?" Hermione nodded. "I don't want to ask him though. He would be extremely offended if he doesn't do that " Ron nodded "Let's just leave it be, the poor lad is already dealing with Malfoy's shit."
"Well in my opinion him living with Malfoy is even more of a reason to ask. I mean being stuck with that twit wouldn't be much of a stress reliever" Hermione sighed, exasperated. "Darling, let's just leave it. Until a later day" Ron nodded to her. "I guess" She shrugged.
"You're right, let's just hope for the best." Hermione said and kissed his cheek, getting up to go to her quarters. Ron smiled as he went to his.
"Well...Potter as nice as this banter has been I should be going to my room" Draco shuddered at even having a slightly civil conversation with Harry Potter "Yeah enjoy yourself Malfoy."
Draco smoothly turned around and walked to his bedroom. Draco sat down on his bed, he smoothed the covers. He liked the way the material felt beneath his hand.
Draco had wished things were different. He didn't like being rude to Harry. He just didn't know how to deal with his feelings. Draco had always had this yearn for Harry. He never could bring himself to do anything about it. He knew he would be rejected.
Harry let out a breath of relaxation and relief now that Draco was gone. He never thought once in his life Draco would be the first to find out. Draco doesn't know the whole story and Harry had hoped he never would. Harry couldn't control himself anymore, he broke down crying. Draco was the only person Harry had ever truly wanted. Harry promised himself he would never ever act on it. The things Draco said about Harry made everything worse. He thought Harry was ugly.
Harry cried and cried on. His tears staining his cheeks. He slowly got up and reached around the back of his wardrobe he found his blade. A small blade, yet mighty enough to do enough mental and physical damage to scar Harry for years.
Harry winced at knowing what he was about to do, he sat on the floor. Harry's vision was blurred, his hands were shaky. He slowly did what he tried so desperately not to. He let out a deep breath when he felt it. Harry looked down to see his blood spilling out. Harry was always careful to not cut too deep. He loved the way it felt, but he didn't want to die. Not yet.
He sat there and just let himself bleed. He looked down at his wrist and cried more. Harry hated what he was doing to himself, but he couldn't stop. He could never stop.
Draco was in his bedroom just staring at a wall. He heard Harry cry. Draco heard Harry's whimpers. They hurt him deeply, deeper than Draco would ever care to admit. He had hoped Harry's tears weren't because of him. Draco wanted to go comfort Harry.
Draco liked to think he was strong and much better than Harry. When in reality they laid at the same level of weakness.
Harry walked out of his room and into the bathroom. He grabbed a rag and wet it. He slowly dabbed his new wound with it, cleaning the blood. Harry winced when it hit the cut, it burned.
Harry felt angry and embarrassed. He felt embarrassed because Draco had seen his wrist, he was angry for obvious reasons. Harry slammed his fist down on the counter top. He hated himself. He hated the way he looked. He hated the way his family treated him. He hated being so weak. Harry just wished he was what everyone made him out to be.
Draco had moved over to sit next to his door so he could hear what was going on outside better. He heard Harry's door open and the bathroom door shut. Draco sat there holding his breath waiting for something to happen. Draco couldn't stop thinking about the cuts and the bruises.
Draco wanted to kill whoever put their hands on Harry. Draco was always having a constant internal battle. He wanted to tell Harry, to let Harry know how he felt. At the same time he didn't want to be labeled as some guy who got rejected by 'The Boy Who Lived'.
Harry wiped his eyes and took deep breaths. He closed his eyes softly and sunk down to the floor. Harry had no energy to move. Harry hoped living with Draco would've made Draco a little nicer. He thought maybe they would come to an agreement that the feud was silly. Sadly they didn't. He was still some prat. A prat Harry had wanted since 3rd year. In a friend way though, because Harry was straight. Or so he tried to convince himself.
END OF TW
He took his glasses off and set them beside him. Harry rubbed his eyes, Harry thought he had gone into his bedroom. Although he was most definitely still in the bathroom. He slowly fell asleep on the bathroom floor. Exhausted from all the emotional stimulation. It was more of a pass out than a sleep. He didn't intentionally do it, he just did. It was like his body collapsed.
Draco looked over at the clock on his wall. It read 12:04. He got up from the floor and opened his wardrobe. He got out his pajamas and slid them on. Draco ruffled his hair and yawned. He slid into his bed and covered himself. Draco looked around at the empty room. He wasn't used to sleeping alone. He was used to having dorm mates. Draco had always hated sleeping alone because when he slept he was most vulnerable. Anyone could come in and kill him and he would have no help.
Draco finally drifted off to sleep after about 15 minutes of staring at his room examining every dark corner and crevice someone could be hiding in. I guess he was pretty paranoid. Draco slept soundly, his dreams taking him to a calm place. A place where Harry returned the feelings Draco shared with him. A place where it was quiet and peaceful.
Draco had awoken only 30 minutes later. It was 12:49. He heard a slight quiet bang. Draco got up and opened his bedroom door slowly. Harry's door was wide open. Draco's eyes widened, he thought Harry left. Draco walked over to Harry's room. He found the bed made and everything untouched except for Harry's wardrobe. It was wide open but all of his clothes were still there. He completely missed the blade on the floor.
Draco started to panic. He opened the door to the study, it was empty. His heart rate quickened. He thought someone had taken Harry. He shouldn't have cared as much as he did. Draco went to the bathroom and opened the door slowly. His eyes fell to the floor. He saw Harry sleeping peacefully on the bathroom floor. His foot was jammed up against the cabinet, that must've been the bang.
His eyebrows furrowed. Why the hell had Harry slept on the floor? Draco's eyes looked around the bathroom and saw a rag on the counter. He slowly picked it up and saw..blood. Draco's heart dropped. He hoped the blood wasn't from what his mind instantly went to. Draco let out a quiet breath. He was deciding whether or not he should wake Harry or leave him there.
He decided to wake him. He got down on his knees and whispered "Potter" Draco got a little louder when Harry didn't wake. "Potter" He said once more. Harry never once even flinched. Draco put his hand on Harry's neck to make sure he wasn't dead, he was indeed alive. Draco let out a sigh of relief and watched the raven haired boy barely move.
Draco hit himself for what he was about to do. He picked Harry up, bridal style. He carried Harry into his room and laid him down under his silky green sheets. It hadn't occurred to Draco in that moment that he could've probably just taken Harry into Harry's room. Draco covered Harry and laid down on the opposite side of the bed.
Draco eventually fell asleep.
Harry awoke at around 1:13 am. Harry's head was pounding. His eyes fluttered open and he began to look around, to take in this setting. Green banners on the wall. He looked down, green duvet. Where could he be? Harry had no idea where he was.
Oh no. Green. Slytherin. Draco.
Harry turned on his side and saw Draco laying there. Well someone he assumed was Draco from the platinum blonde hair. How in hell did Harry end up in there? Harry yawned quietly and got out of Draco's bed slowly. The cold floor under Harry's feet caused a shiver to shoot up his spine.
Harry rubbed the back of his neck and stared around the room, trying to make sure he wasn't crazy or dreaming.
Draco woke up as well. He had woken up once he felt the bed lift from under Harry. Draco sat up and looked at Harry. "What the hell are you doing in here?" Draco stared at him coldly. Adding onto the cold floor, Draco's icy gaze didn't help the shiver's shooting through Harry.
"I could ask you the same question. I fell asleep in my room." Harry stared back at him. "Clearly not. Do you sleep walk or something Potter?" Draco rolled his eyes.
"No I do not sleep walk Malfoy. We will figure this out in the morning. Good bye" Harry scowled. Draco got up and opened his door for Harry to leave. It hadn't hit Draco yet that he was the one who had brought Harry there.
Harry pushed past Draco and started walking to his room when he grabbed onto the mantle of the fireplace. He was woozy and groggy. Draco came over to him. "I feel it's only right if I see you off to your room. So I know you're actually in your bedroom and not wandering off into mine" Draco snickered and watched Harry go into his room. Draco made sure Harry actually made it to his room.
"If you don't mind, don't scare me anymore with your appearances in my bedroom. It's odd and quite nerve wracking to know you're probably just watching me sleep." Draco huffed. "Why in the bloody hell would I want to watch you sleep?" Harry rubbed his eyes. "And where are my glasses?" Harry felt his eyes once more to make sure his glasses weren't on his face.
"I don't know why you're asking me Potter. I wouldn't touch anything of yours. I may catch your ignorance." Draco smirked and stared down at Harry. Draco found himself trying to see Harry's eyes. He didn't know why he felt a sudden urge to, but he did. Yet Harry refused to look at Draco in the eyes.
Draco couldn't control what he was doing anymore. He needed to meet Harry's eyes. Draco put two fingers under his chin and tilted his head so Harry was now looking Draco in the eyes. Draco had prayed Harry wouldn't remember this in the morning. Draco smirked devilishly as if he was just messing around. He honestly didn't know what he was doing.
Harry was actually looking at Draco's eyes for the first time. The fire in Harry's eyes turned to question and confusion. Harry had never noticed how genuinely beautiful Draco was. Harry stayed there just looking in his eyes, exploring them.
A stormy sky, clouds and rain. As Harry looked, truly looked, into Draco's eyes he could begin to see a story playing out. A stormy day, a small cottage. Two people lived there alone. They absolutely loved the rainy days. The two people would just sit on their small couch and watch the rain fall against the window. They didn't mind the couch was small, they would just cuddle up to one another. Lovers. They must be lovers. The pitter patter of the rain and the soft grey tones running through the sky were calming. It rained almost everyday in those two people's version of paradise.
Harry knew Draco wasn't straight. That always sparked some sort of odd interest in Harry's soul. Draco's ex boyfriend, Blaise had outed him. Harry had always had a thing for Draco, whether or not he convinced himself it was hatred it was still there. Harry always hurt the ones he loved in some way. Whether or not it was intentional, they ended up hurt emotionally, physically, or dead. Harry was doomed to be alone for his lifetime.
In this moment all Harry knew was it was him and Draco.
Just looking in each other's eyes with no hatred just a low burning passion and yearning for the first time in his life.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Authors note:
I've started including song lyrics to the beginning of each chapter, just songs I listened to as I wrote the chapter.
This chapter was very fun to write!! it kind of set up the story. It showed some anger and passion. I'm having fun writing this book so far. Anyways that's all