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Jaemin's POV - Thursday - 10:12 pm
"We can't do that!" Jisung exclaimed. We were all gathered in the dining room of our dorm.
"Do you not understand the stress nuna is already going through?" I retorted annoyed at what Haechan proposed.
"Aren't you tired of hyung mopping around?" Renjun said and I kept my gaze away.
Ever since Renjun, Jeno and Haechan sided with Mark, I've been ignoring them. I'd only talk to them when needed.
"He made that decision for himself," Chenle said as he drank milk, how does anyone just drink milk? I really need coffee right now.
"Nana," Renjun called out for me and I sighed. I narrowed my eyes as I looked at him.
"What?" I hissed, "You want to take advantage of the fact nuna trusts me? She trusts me because I don't plan things like this!" I glared at the three of them.
Haechan shook his head, "We're doing this for both nuna and hyung. We all know they belong together," Haechan crossed his arm's over his chest looking smug.
"It's their relationship. We're not supposed to meddle hyung," Jisung said. Chenle and I nodded in agreement.
"Why are you three so against getting them back together?" Jeno finally spoke up, "Mark-hyung and Jee-nuna are miserable. All they need is to talk things out and everything will get back to normal."
"I'm sorry to break this to you, but they've been broken up for 5 months already. Even if they both have feelings for each other, they're not together for a reason. Mark made up his mind about leaving nuna, he made that decision to hurt her. If he wants to get back with nuna, he could do it himself," I crossed my arms and shrugged, "why play matchmakers?" I scoffed.
Haechan pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed, "If you're siding with Lucas-hyung-"
"We're not," Chenle glared at Haechan, "we want what's best for the both of them. Mark-hyung is hurt because of his own doing, Jee-nuna is hurting because of him. Unless Mark-hyung wants to meet up with nuna. I'm not supporting this," Chenle shook his head.
"Why are you even bothered that they're apart anyway?" Jisung voiced out, "Didn't you choose to side with hyung?" He said annoyed.
"We didn't side with hyung," Jeno said his hands formed into fists, "we decided to protect nuna," I rolled my eyes at his statement.
"You're not protecting her, you're hurting her. She comes out of a coma and finds out there are people she loves, who choose to ignore her. Haven't you thought about that?" I gazed down at the dining table.
"Do you honestly think we like this?" Haechan raised his voice, "That's why we want to help them talk to each other. With or without your help, we're doing this," I sighed.
"Then what was the point of talking to us?" I asked and Haechan was glaring at me.
"Why are you so stubborn? You know nuna loves hyung, she cries to you about it. Why can't you see making them talk will make her happy?" He shook his head and avoided looking at me.
"Happy? Forcing them into a room to talk? You think that will make her happy?!" I stand up from the dining table, Jisung holds my arm. I look at him and he shakes his head, I sighed and sat back down.
"So what? You think letting nuna be, is making her happy? She's miserable! We're doing this to help her!" Haechan slammed his hands on the table.
"She's sad! Not miserable! Lucas-hyung -" I was cut off by Renjun laughing.
"Oh I see, you're simply choosing Lucas-hyung," he continued to laugh sarcastically, "it is just some shipping game to you guys," I stared at him wide-eyed.
"That's not true," I started to curl my hands into fists, "I want what makes nuna happy. Lucas-hyung has been there for her. This isn't some shipping game to me. Of course I want nuna to work things out with Mark-hyung, they love each other. But you didn't see how hurt she was when Mark-hyung was ignoring her," I started to tear up feeling hurt remembering how sad she was on her birthday party, "What will she feel when we have to trick hyung just for them to talk? What will she feel when she realizes that we had to force them together? She'll feel more miserable!" I squeezed my hands tighter, "If you want hyung to talk to her, convince him and let him initiate it," I took a deep breath before I continued, "Nuna deserves to feel wanted, don't make her feel any less."
I stood up from the dining table and headed to my bedroom. I needed to get away from the stress of the discussion with had. The idea of forcing Mark-hyung to talk to nuna was terrible. I understood their point, but that wasn't the way to get them back together.
Admittedly I've been biased towards Lucas-hyung from the start. But it doesn't mean I'm just shipping them. Lucas-hyung has been good to nuna. All I want is for her to be loved and taken cared of. It doesn't matter who it is.
11:15 pm
Knock. Knock.
"Come in," I said as I was scrolling through TikTok.
"Nana," I looked up and saw Haechan, "you're right."
I nodded my head and went back to scrolling on my phone. He sat down at the edge of my bed.
"After you left, we talked about what you said," I continued to scroll as I listened to him, "we think you should talk to hyung."
"What?" I stared at him as I sat up straight and placed my phone away on my bedside table, "You want me to talk to hyung?" I asked and he nodded.
"You're the one who knows nuna best, you could tell him how she is and convince him," I stared at him, not entirely confident with his words, "he'll listen to you."
"You're closer to hyung," I said and he sighed, "you talk to him."
"Do you want nuna to be happy?" He asked and I nodded, "then you talk to hyung."
"It has to be you," Renjun said and I turned to look at my door. I saw the boys standing out the hall, looking into my bedroom.
"You wanted to change his mind, right?" Chenle said and I sighed, "but you were scared because hyung was so stubborn at the time. Why don't you try now?"
Everyone had expectant faces. I focused looking at Haechan, who was pouting purposefully.
I sighed and looked at all of them, "You guys are annoying," I shook my head and Haechan attacked me with a hug.
"Dog pile!" Chenle shouted and several bodies ran towards Haechan and I.
"Don't -" I ended up lying down on my bed, their bodies on top of me, "I ... can't ... breathe!" I struggled to say but they just laughed.
"Ow!" I screamed when somebody pinched my waist, "Who did that?!" More laughter erupted, "Get off or I'll change my mind!" I said and they quickly got off, "You owe me coffee," I said as I stretched my arms and legs.
"Sure thing!" Haechan smiled and all of them headed out of my room, "Tomorrow okay?"
"Yah, yah," I waved my hand dismissively and then closed my door when they were all out.
Tomorrow is going to be stressful.
Friday - 3:10 pm
We were on a break and the boys were urging me to talk to Mark-hyung. I was looking at Haechan from across the dance studio and he pointed with his lips towards hyung. I shook my head and he continued to point with his lips. Renjun stood next to Haechan and they both proceeded to point at hyung. I looked away from them and saw hyung wiping his sweat away with a face towel.
I take in a deep breath and stood up from the dance floor. I really hope this goes well.
Hyung was drinking from his navy blue bottle of water when I walked towards him. "Hyung," I said and I glanced at Haechan and Renjun, Jeno had joined them looking at me with smiles. I glanced away, "Can we talk?" I asked and he raised his eyebrows as he swallowed his water.
"About what?" He asked as he placed his bottle of water down on the table. His face towel was around his neck.
"Nuna," I said softly and his facial expression looked so sad.
"What about her? Did something happen?" I heard the concern in his voice, so I quickly shook my head to ease his nerves.
"Nuna's fine," I said and he took in a deep breath before nodding.
"Then what do you want to talk about?" He asked and I glanced at the three. They smiled and brought their thumbs up, annoying brats.
I look back at hyung, "You love her right?" I asked as I followed him sit on a couch.
"I do," he said without any hesitation, "if this is about the decision, you're not the first one to talk to me about it," his guards were up, "if you want me to change my-"
"I don't," I quickly cut him off, "I just want to understand," he kept quiet, "why make a decision that's hurting you and nuna?" I asked and he gazed away into the dance studio.
"She got hurt because of me. She was kidnapped because a sasaeng hated her, because of me," he said as he hung his head low gazing on the floor.
I looked away from him and saw our reflections in the mirror. He looked completely crushed.
"That was out of everyone's control," I said as I turned to look at him directly. He shook his head and then took a deep breath.
He gazed up at me and had a sad smile, "I know what you're doing, and I don't blame you for trying. I love her and it hurts not talking to her, it hurts knowing Lucas is the one next to her lately, but I can't risk her getting hurt again," he turned away and stared back down at the floor, "I want to protect her."
"The car accident was simply that, an accident. Why did that push you to make this decision?" I asked and I waited for him to respond. He grabbed the towel from around his neck and held it in his hands.
"I was scared of losing her again, but I guess I've lost her," he said and I forced myself not to roll my eyes. You made that decision to lose her. She already chose you!
"She loves you," I said and he closed his eyes. He gripped on the face towel tighter. "You can make things right, you can work things out. Everyone has their worries, but I've seen how you and nuna worked through so much. How could you throw it all away?"
I don't know what came over me, but I actually wanted to change his mind. Nuna loves him and he loves her. The only thing standing in the way was his fears.
"I can't help it," he said as he looked at me, his eyes watering. He turned away and gazed back at the ground, "Whenever I see her, all I see is the hurt and pain she went through because of me. How can I make things right? When everything feels so wrong?" He twisted and turned his face towel.
"Does it feel wrong to love her?" I asked, scared of what he'll answer. He was quiet for a while, he was taking deep breaths.
"It doesn't," he answered and I sighed in relief, "loving her feels so right, it's as if we're meant to be," I smile to myself as he spoke fondly of nuna, "it hurts so much doing this to her, but I feel-"
"Hyung, this is honestly not the way to protect her," I said placing my hand on his shoulder, he turned to look at me, "if you want to protect her, you need to be by her side. I'm not here to change your mind, but I hope you would yourself," I gave him a reassuring smile, "I understand why now and I respect your decision. So think about it again, please. For your sake and hers," I slightly squeezed his shoulder and pulled away.
I stood up and was about to walk away when I heard Mark-hyung say something, "Mhmmm?" I turned to look at him.
"Thank you," he smiled as he stood up and I nodded my head, "time's up, let's get back to it!" Mark clapped his hands three times getting everyone's attention.
We all gathered in the center and went to our starting positions.
I looked at hyung from my spot and hoped that he would change his mind.
Jenny's POV - Saturday - 10:19 pm
It's been two weeks since I woke up and two weeks since Mark decided to let me go. It's been hard, but I was getting by.
I was currently in my bedroom watching Gossip Girl on Netflix on my laptop. I wanted to wait for Johnny to arrive home. He's been staying at home ever since I was discharged from the hospital. Although he tells me I shouldn't wait for him, I wanted to.
Lucas texted this morning that he wouldn't be able to come today. I was a little sad, but I understood. So for the whole day, I've been alone. The only times I left my bedroom, was to eat or go to the bathroom to pee.
The food I ate were either takeout or food Johnny prepared and all I had to do was microwave them.
My cast was going to be taken off in two more weeks and I was excited. Apparently I was going to undergo physical therapy for a while. But that didn't bother me, I'll be back to walking normally and I was looking forward to that. My days have been bleak. I couldn't go outside, or go for a swim. The only thing that brightened up by day were Johnny, Lucas, Betty and the dreamies who were talking to me. The group chat with the dreamies was dead quiet. Jaemin, Chenle and Jisung would message me separately.
I missed Haechan, Jeno and Renjun so much. But I let them be, they made their decision and I wouldn't want to force them to talk to me again. They had their reasons.
I itched away from my laptop as I saw Dan and Georgina make-out. It was disgusting.
Ding dong.
10:22 pm
I pressed on the spacebar, pausing the video. I look up towards my bedroom door.
Did Johnny forget his keys?
I grabbed my crutches and made my way out of my bedroom. I seriously can't wait to walk normally again. Being in crutches was bothersome.
Before unlocking the door, I looked through the peephole and I was stunned to see him.
I move away from the door and stared at it. What is he doing here?
Days passed since I last saw him and now he was here, unannounced, why?
Deep breaths, Jen.
Inhale.
Exhale.
Inhale.
Exhale.
I look through the peephole once more, to confirm it was him. It is.
"I got this," I said as I stared at the doorknob. Taking in a deep breath I unlocked the door and opened the door.
Mark stood in a white tee, a un-zipped black jacket on top and dark grey joggers. He looked at me with a soft expression.
"Min Jee I-" I dropped my crutches and hugged him. I didn't know what came over me, but I just needed to hug him.
All the thoughts I had about moving on from him, vanished. He was here and I couldn't help but be happy. There was a part of me that was scared, scared he'd say something hurtful again. But it didn't matter, he was here and I love him.
"I don't know why you're here," I said and he hugged me back, "but I'm happy you are," I stared to cry, "I missed you so much."
"I missed you too," he said and I cried into his shoulder, "I'm so sorry," I felt my whole body soften at his words, "I should have never said those things," I couldn't believe what I was hearing.
I slowly pulled away, and cupped his face. He held me by my waist as I stared at his eyes that was glistening with tears, "Is this real?" I asked and he smiled nodding, "You're really here?"
His smile grew wider, "I am," I hugged him again and he chuckled, "I didn't expect this reaction, but I'm glad," I simply enjoyed being in his arms.
There was nothing I wanted more. Mark was here and everything felt right.
"Let's get you inside," Mark said pulling away and he scooped me up, "woah, did you gain weight?" He joked and I slap his shoulder.
"Bedroom or living room?" He asked as we stood in the foyer.
He took of his shoes while he held me and closed the door.
"Bedroom," I said and he nodded as he walked towards my bedroom. I simply admired his features.
Mark placed me down on my bed and I pulled him with me, "Yo wait-" He was on top on me, his arms on each of my side and I giggled, "you're really clingy," he said our face inches a part. He adjusted his position, his knees on each side of my body.
"Can you blame me? You've ignored me for days," I pouted and he let out a chuckle. He was about to stand up but I held him in place by wrapping my hands around the nape of his neck, "I'm not letting you go," I said my voice shaking, "I'm not allowing you to go again," the tears start to well up again, "please don't leave me again."
"I won't," he smiled and glanced at my lips, "may I?" He asked and I smiled.
He leaned towards my face and I closed my eyes. His lips molded perfectly with mine. I run my hands through his hair as we deepen the kiss. His hand slips down under my shirt and he pulled away, "May I?" I smile at the fact he asked and nodded my head.
Our lips meet once again and Mark's hand was on my bare skin. He was gentle and sweet as his hand rubbed my skin.
It's been a while since I made-out with Mark. I didn't realized how much I missed his touch. So much time has passed since the last time we truly kissed.
"Mark," I pulled away, "as much as I want to continue," I looked at his eyes that were curious, "we need to talk," I said. He smiled and nodded.
He moved away from my body and sat criss-cross on my bed. I sat up straight and adjusted to sit comfortably.
"Let me just do this," before I could react Mark cupped my face and kissed me passionately. Honestly, all I wanted to do was cuddle and make-out with him, but there were things we needed to talk about. He pulled away and placed a soft kiss on my forehead, "I love you."
I tear up and looked at him, "Why are you here?" I asked as more tears streamed down my face, "If you were just feeling lonely and you wanted someone to make-out with -"
"No, don't ever think that's all you are to me," he moved closer to me and cupped my face, "you're much more. I'm sorry if kissing you instantly made you think that way I didn't mean to. I just ... I missed you so much," he said tears streaming down his face as well, "I don't know where to start, but I'm really sorry."
I held onto his left hand with my right hand, "I'm happy you're here, but how can I know you won't hurt me again?" I voiced out. The thought about moving on came back to me. "Are you coming back to me because you really want to? What happens if another problem comes? Will you think of leaving again?"
He frowned as he pulled away, "I am sorry," he said as he wiped the tears with the sleeves of his jacket, "I know how badly I screwed up. But I'm willing to make up for it, I promise -"
"You promised so many things," I said as more tears streamed down my face, "The moment I woke up, you were the one I wanted by my side. But you left when I said chose you. How do I know you're staying this time?" More tears spilled and he cried as well, "Are you here because you started to become jealous over Lucas?" I stared at him and he went silent.
He gazed on down on my bedsheets and then looked up, "Jaemin talked to me," he said and I quietly listened, "he made me think about what I was doing. He helped me realize how terrible I've treated you," he chuckled but it was a sad one, "I've been a dumbass, haven't I?" He asked and I nodded my head.
"Very," I chuckled as well and I held his hand. He didn't bring it away this time.
"I don't know what to tell you. Because I still think being away is a better option," I was saddened at his words, "but I love you and I want to keep loving you," I teared up more at his words, "I like to properly court you," he said and I giggled.
"I think you skipped steps when you kissed me," I said and he chuckled as well.
"I guess I did," he shrugged with a smirk, "but seriously, I know I've put you through so many things and I want to make things right. I want to start all over again, a new slate," he squeezed my hand gently and I simply stared at him, "what do you say?"
There was a part of me screaming no. It was the part that was scared to get hurt again. Mark had hurt me so many times and I've forgiven him for them. Could I really take it again?
I wanted to say yes, because I love him. Because I know that we could work things out.
But with all that has happened, did it make sense to give him another chance? What about Lucas? He was more consistent. He never hurt me the way Mark did.
I chose Mark for a reason. He's the one I love and no matter how good Lucas has been to me, Mark's the one I loved with all my heart. It wouldn't be fair to Lucas to simply choose him out of pity.
"Mark," I said softly and he looked so nervous, "I love you and I still choose you."
He grinned and hugged me, "I'll make it up to you, I promise I'll make things up to you," I giggled as I hugged him back, "I promise."
My heart ached a bit at the word promise. But I had to believe him. Mark made plenty of mistakes, and it hurt every time. I don't know if it was the right decision to choose him, but I want to believe it is.
Hopefully is it.
"What the hell?!" Mark and I pulled away to see an angry Johnny standing by my doorframe.
A/N: whoops looks like Johnny isn't too thrilled about Minmin 😬
Soooooo, how do you feel?