I have realize that I haven't done a Zayn or Louis centric.. SOoO here is my Louis centric... Any thoughts on what my Zayn-Centric should be about?
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Louis's POV:
Watching the blood slowly covering the marks from the cold metal blade that was just there, I thought I could just finished it right now. Be gone forever. Be in a happier place. Be in a place where no one would hate me.
A knock at the bathroom interrupted my thoughts. I quickly turned on the sink cleaning any trace of blood on my wrist. Crap.
"Lou? Babe, are you okay?" Zayn called through the door.
It was hard keeping this from the Lads. I wanted to tell them all the hate I was getting from the fans lately. Actually I was surprised that Zayn was checking me. All four of them have been ignoring me lately. I have tried so hard to find out what was going on, why they were ignoring me.
"Yea, Zee. I'm fine. Just cleaning up." I assured him as I finished up cleaning the blood from my wrist and blade, hiding my scars with a clean long sleeve shirt. To make it less obvious, I put my Adidas jumper back on.
"We are going to order something for dinner, is that ok with you?" I wanted to give a smart ass comment back but I decided not to.
"Yea.. Sure Zee," I opened the door to walk straight into Zayn. Why am I short? Well at least Niall was shorter than me.
"Whoa. Sorry Love." Zayn said as he pulled me out to look at me. "Are you sure you are okay?"
"Zayn. I am fine! I just had to go to the bathroom. Am I not aloud to go to the bathroom?" I snapped.
Zayn looked shocked for a second. I didn't mean to snap at him, but he had asked me four times in the past five minutes if I was okay. I really should not have snap. That was one thing that would tell him or even the others, that something was wrong.
Zayn just shook his head, "What would you like? We are thinking about getting Nando's."
"I am not really hungry."
"Lou, you have to eat, love. You did not have lunch today." Zayn looked worriedly at me.
Shaking him off, I went straight down stairs into the kitchen to see the rest of my boyfriends looking concern.
"What?" I shrugged.
"Are you sure you do not want to go out to dinner with us?" Niall asked while he was putting his snap back on.
"Yeah, just not feeling good. I am going to have an early night, since we have an interview tomorrow, right?" I asked making sure.
"Love, that's in two days." Liam looked at me. "Are you sure you are okay?"
"Well you lads stop asking me that? I am just feeling a little under the weather. That's what I said I am going to bed early. But if you do want to bring me food for a late night or morning that would be great." I told them to show them that I was fine. Late night or morning snack, really Louis, is that the best I could come up with. That was the last thing I wanted. Well it seemed that it worked, since all four lads smiled, kissed my on the forehead, told me good night and if i need anything to call them.
Smiling my thanks, I closed the door locking it and headed straight for the bed. As soon as I was in bed, I got on twitter, Facebook and Instagram. I knew this was not the best thing for me to do, but I wanted to see what was going on in the world
Everything I saw was hate. Louis, you suck. Louis, go die. Louis leave the lads.. blah blah blah.
At the beginning, all of this hate did not bother me at all. I was having the time of my life. I was put into a band with my best friends, but we all decide to start a relationship together. It was the best thing, that we ever did. We were all happy together.
These past few months have been stressful on all of us, especially me. We had been on tour in South America, which was awesome. Now we were recording for our new album, that was going to come out this fall. I had to go do several records since I kept messing up with my notes. Julian would keep asking me if I was okay, and all. I just go on and keep trying. Several times I would just have to stop. I could not do it anymore.
Those nights, I would just got into my room and cry myself sleep. The Lads seemed to notice something wrong, but continued to ignore me. Have I done something wrong? Why did everyone hate me?
I had enough, I ran to the bathroom, searched everywhere, finally found my blade from my basket under the sink cabinet. Pushing the blade against my skin, I would remember everything I had been called on twitter. Every comment about the Lads, thinking everything was my fault. I would also remember that I could not reach any of my notes correctly lately. Also the Lads not noticing anything wrong, just plain ignoring me until tonight. What was going on?
Blood oozed out of my cuts, onto the cold tilted floor, I kept sliced against my skin until tears were streaming down my faces onto my shirt. I was done. I just wanted to leave. No one would care. Mom and the girls would not care. I had not heard from them in forever. No wonder my real father left mom before I was born. It was all my fault. No one wanted me. My family did not. The fans did not. The Lads did not. So why should I stay here?
To lost in my thoughts, I did not hear the door slamming and voices yelling my name. Everything was getting blurring. Every sound sounded like I was in a tunnel.
"Louis!!" I looked straight into Liam's and Harry's eyes as they were right in front of me.
"Oh. Lou. Why? Why Love?" I smiled as I heard Liam call me Love. Did he really mean it though.
"Hey Lou. Keep your eyes open please." Harry commented as he was wiping the blood off of my arm. Liam had grabbed him in his arms, rocking me back and forth whispering things in my ears, which I did not hear. Everything was blurry for one moment and then become clear the next.
I glanced around the room to see a heartbroken Niall wrapped into Zayn's arms as he sobbed. Why he really heartbroken? Would he miss me?
"Ni.." I whispered barely catching his attention. Niall ran into my arms.
"Louis. Lou. Why? Why are you doing this? Have I done something wrong?" Niall spit out as he was trying to calm himself down. I knew he was trying his hardest. I knew from then that NIall cared for me. He honestly thought it was him.
"No, Love. It was everything, everyone. The fans, the hate, family. I thought you all hated me since you guys were ignoring me."
"Oh love, No. We were actually planning a birthday party for you. We have been in contact with your family and friends back in Doncaster to see if they can make it." Zayn had said as tears were falling down his face.
Oh no. They were doing all of that for me. I was wrong. They all loved me.
""Did I do something wrong?" I asked, looking straight at my loves. I was glad I was finally in their arms.
"No, Love. Far from it. Your the best boyfriend we have. Your voice is amazing when you sing. True fans understand this love. We have plenty of those. Please do not listen to the others. We love you Lou. Your family loves you. They are excited about coming next week. They wanted to surprise you. Your friends were wanting to come a few day earlier. They all love you. Your family loves you. Fans love you and We love you. That's all that matters. We will help you through this. You are strong, love."
I was moved by Liam's words, then I was surrounded by several arms and was in the middle of one huge hug.
"I am sorry, please forgive me." I whispered. My eyes were getting tired of all the crying, and staying up crying.
"We do love. We love you." All four of them say. I smiled, letting my eyes closed and leaning onto Liam.
Liam then picked me up and carried me to our one large bed that all of us sleep in.
"Rest Love. We will be here forever and ever. We love you." Zayn said as he snuggled next to me followed by the rest.
"I love you lads." I was out after that. I finally knew I had been wrong the whole time. I did have people that loved me. I have a family with these lads, with my family back home, and of coarse our fans were part of our family