Only hours had passed since Clementine had left, yet it felt like days. I spent almost the entire night in my room regretting every decision I didn't make. Not questioning the twin's disappearance more, trusting Marlon so blindly when he told us they were killed, not telling Brody I don't hate her before she died, not stopping Clementine from walking out that gate.. I felt like such a failure. Like I let everyone I ever cared about slip away. As if I was fucking cursed to lose anyone I dare to say I loved. I finally get a fucking shred of happiness after years of pain from losing Minnie, and that source of happiness just walked right out the fucking door. And I let her walk out. I let her walk away without even trying to fight. I put my head down on my knees, feeling the tears fall onto my jeans. "Vi?" I hear Louis call from outside my door. "Fuck off." I mumble, feeling embarrassed that I'm even reacting like this to begin with. I hated whenever people saw me crying, and yet here I was breaking down like a kid over this. "Violet I-" I cut him off before he can finish. I sat up just enough for him to hear me as I shouted. "I said fuck off Louis! Leave me alone!" I snap before laying my head back on my knees. I could hear Ruby mumbling something behind him, before the footsteps began to go down the hallway. I laid down on the bed, covering my face in the pillow as I desperately tried to calm down. I hate crying like this, being so sensitive and vulnerable. I hated it even more knowing Louis and probably everyone else saw it too.
Clementine leaving made me think a lot about things, especially about how I felt around her. I felt like such an idiot for not noticing it sooner. 'She makes me feel things I haven't felt since I lost Minnie.' I mean come on Violet are you that fucking oblivious? The thought had hit me that maybe that's why I was so upset, the irony of her leaving right as I discover my feelings for her. I hate it, I hate all of it. I miss her, I just want to see her walk back through those gates and it shatters me knowing that's not going to happen.
Clementine's POV
I could tell AJ was devastated, it was killing me seeing him look so sad and lonely. He always used to talk about how he wanted to meet people his age and find good people. It's all he really wanted and now he has to say goodbye to it. I push him on the tire swing of the train station that has now been abandoned by both raiders and walkers. I can't help but keep glancing over at the totaled car in the distance. I hated thinking about it, how that crash had gone from the worst setback we could have to the best thing that's ever happened to us. Thinking about it caused a pain in my stomach. I felt like such a bitch for how I treated Violet when we left, especially since I miss her so fucking bad. I didn't know what else to do, I wanted to prove a point to Louis so badly that I ended up basically shoving her off in the process. The thought of that making her hate me, making her not miss me, it brought back a pain I hadn't felt in a long time. I wish I would've said goodbye to her. I wish I could told her I wasn't mad at her. I wish I could just see her again...
"Clem, I want to go back." AJ says softly as I gently push him. "I know goofball, me too." I respond, hating the hint of sadness in my voice. I was supposed to be strong for AJ, and yet here I was moping about a girl I had barely known for three days. It was so ridiculous, how quickly I seemed to get attached to her. There's a silence for a moment before I sigh and walk in front of the swing, kneeling down. "We need to keep moving. Let's try to find another car and make our way south." We had to move on, we couldn't just keep sitting here as if waiting for something to happen. We were one our own again and now it's back to our original plan. We just have to keep moving and stay alive. Just like Lee and Kenny always used to tell me. Keep moving, stay alive. I thought back on Kenny's plan to go to Florida. It was the original plan I had before all of this had happened. "I hate the car." AJ mumbles as he makes more excuses as to why he can't go. He had been making excuses like that since we left the school, anything to try and get us to go back.
A car was a dream at this point anyway. We got lucky with the last one, most are either siphoned for gas or in no condition to run at all. Our options were limited, and we were running out of daylight. I open my mouth to speak, only to be interrupted by the sound of rustling in the bushes. In a panic I grab AJ and try to run to a hiding spot, or at least cover if they fire. I wasn't quick enough though as a group of people surround us and block off any chance we have of escape. One of them I recognize from the train station incident. "Well well, look who showed up boys." The man from earlier says with a smile. "Leave us the fuck alone, there's no more food here." I snapped at the man, holding AJ behind me protectively to keep any of these bastards from touching him. "We know, we checked. Where's the rest of your group?" The man asks as I glare him down. "They're gone, they aren't coming back." The four men surround us, guns pointed from every direction. "Well, that's a shame. Truth be told we've gotten some good hands from that group of brats. After that food incident though, you'll do fine." The man says as another grabs AJ's arm. "AJ! Get the fuck away from him!" I yell trying to get to him before a pistol hits me across the face. "You better think twice before you pull some shit like that again." The man who hits me says as he helps me to my feet. I try to think, there's gotta be a way out of this. "Let's go Abel. I wanna get this shit over with." The man says as we begin to walk. "We'll go back for the rest of them once we get these ones locked up." Abel says as he drags AJ and I into the woods. AJ continues to struggle, I try to stop him but before I could get the chance he breaks free from the man's grip. The other panics and points his gun at AJ. I felt my blood run cold as I saw the gun pointed in his direction. "No!" I scream as I kick Abel's knee out behind me to make him let go. I quickly run in front of AJ as the man fires. I could feel a burning pain that seemed to hit me all at once, like an intense wave. "Clem!" I hear AJ yell as I fall to the ground. The burning feeling in my stomach only seemed to get worse as my vision blurred, sounds slowly growing muffled. "Clem! You gotta get up!" AJ's voice sounded as if it was miles away as my vision slowly faded to black.
Violet's POV
I sat on top of the watch tower, watching the few walkers that passed by as my mind continued to race. I thought getting back to work would make me feel better about what happened, but it only made the school feel more empty. With Marlon and Brody dead, and Clem and AJ gone, everything felt so quiet. No one had really gotten over what had happened. Willy and Aasim were out on another hunting trip, and I hadn't spoken to Louis at all since Clem had left. "Violet!" I hear my name called out in the distance. It sounded like AJ. I look up and see nothing, sighing as I curse myself for imagining his voice for what felt like the millionth time. "Violet! Help, please!" The voice comes back louder, I sit up and start scanning the tree line. I must be going insane. It felt like my heart stopped as I finally noticed the three figures running towards the school from the trees. AJ was running besides what looked to be a walker, holding Clementine in his arms. "Shit!" I yell as I quickly jump off the tower and open the gate. As they get closer I get a better look at Clem. She was unconscious with her shirt soaked in blood, I couldn't tell if she was breathing or not. It felt like the air got caught in my throat as a chill sent down by spine. The sight felt like I had to go through the pain and grief I was feeling all over again. "Louis! Ruby! Help! We need medical!!" I yell as I help the guy with Clementine and run with them towards the dorms as Louis and Ruby come running outside. Ruby sees Clem soaked in blood and gasps covering her mouth. "Oh my god! What the hell happened?!" She yells, the boy who I now see had covered himself in walker skin handing Clem over to Louis. AJ explained what happened as he fights back tears. "Raiders attacked us in the woods and Clem got shot! It was all my fault!" He yells, starting to break down crying. He was obviously very worried about Clementine, and I don't blame him. In the state she was in, I was worried too.
As concerned as I was for Clem, I kneel down to AJ's level and hugged him. Without Clementine around someone had to comfort the poor kid. "Hey, hey it's okay. Clem is gonna be okay." I say trying to comfort him, while also trying to reassure myself. The boy takes the walker skin off and looks at Clem with a concerned look, not even noticing the judgmental looks he was receiving. Louis carries Clem up to her old dorm room, the room quickly flooding with people as he sets her down on the bed. Ruby immediately took Louis' place at her bedside. It all felt like a dream, as if I was imagining it. I felt so happy to see Clem again, but so scared at the same time. Seeing Clem there covered in blood felt like being shot myself. It wasn't clear if she was gonna pull through or not, and the thought of Clementine dying because we sent her away left me feeling a wave of guilt crash onto me. I should've said something, I should've fought harder for her to stay.
An hour or two had passed, and I kept pacing back and forth in the hallway outside the door. I was insistent on not leaving Clem's side, but Louis kept telling me how Ruby needed space to work. Louis had taken AJ back down to the library with him to watch him much to my surprise. Louis was pretty adamant that AJ was a murderer not even six hours ago. Now he's down there with him playing piano like they did when they first met. Ruby finally opens the door and I run up to greet her. "Is she gonna be okay?" I ask the second the girl stepped into view. I was terrified of what the answer was, especially seeing Ruby covered in blood. "I managed to remove the bullet and stop the bleeding. In short, she's stable. We won't know for sure for a couple days." Ruby says gently as she moves out of the way. "She needs rest, but you can go in for a minute to see her. I know how much you missed her." Ruby says with a gentle smile. I knew that smile she was giving me, and I wanted to say something about Ruby's comment. But I was so focused on Clem I just thanked her and ran into the room, shutting the door behind me.
Clem was asleep on the bed, her jacket and shirt discarded on the dresser beside it as she laid on the bed in a sports bra, a bandage wrapped around her abdomen. Seeing the blood stained bandage left a sharp pain in my chest. I walk over to the bed, pulling over the chair from the desk to sit beside it. I gently put my hand on top of Clem's as my eyes scanned over her wound. "Clem.. Jesus fuck." I whispered, not wanting to be too loud and risk waking her up. I could feel tears threaten to fall as my eyes trail up from her wound up to her face. I felt as if I was trying to remember everything about her, as if I was never going to see her again. Every scar, every mark, the way her curly brown hair naturally fell into her face when it wasn't tied up and when she didn't have that damn hat on. I committed every single detail to memory in that moment. It probably was because I hadn't done so the first time, and didn't want to lose my chance if this was the last one I'd ever get. The thought alone made my throat burn from the sobs I was desperately trying to hold back. I noticed the large bite shaped scar on her left forearm, recalling her mentioning a bad experience with a dog. Slightly above it was a mark that looked as though it was branded into her skin. The sight of the mark made my blood boil at the thought of who it was that could've put her through that kind of pain. A similar gun wound was on the left side of her chest. I don't know why but it helped me feel more at ease knowing she had survived a similar injury before. The scar across her eyebrow from what I assumed was a cut from glass. My eyes dropped from the scar to her peaceful sleeping face, her beautiful caramel brown skin, her stunning curly brown hair, her lips that looked so soft and inviting. "Clem, I don't know if you can hear me, but you need to wake up. I know you're a fighter, you can't give up like this. The school needs you even if they don't see it. AJ needs you to keep watching out for him." It felt the words kept getting stuck in my throat. I move my hand under hers to hold her hand in mine, remembering the feeling of her hand in mind when I protected her from Marlon. "God Dammit Clem, I need you. I need you here with me, please don't leave me again. Please." Fighting the tears was getting harder and harder. I lean over, looking down at the floor as I continue to fight breaking down entirely as the tears fell down my face and dripped into a puddle on the floor.
"I fucking love you Clem, so please fucking fight this." I manage to say out loud before a sob manages to break through. I grip her hand slightly before hearing someone clear their throat behind me. I turn around to see Louis standing in the doorway. I quickly let Clem's hand go and back up nearly falling off the chair. "Shit, I can't believe I just said that. How much did you hear?" I ask hesitantly looking back at Louis as I quickly wipe away the tears. "I heard enough. I fucking love you Clem! I need you!" Louis teases. I grab my knife and point it in his direction. "You heard nothing you got that?" I try to glare at him, but I could tell my usual tough aura was just not there. Louis puts his hands up defensively, backing up slightly with a smile. "Don't worry Vi, your secret is safe with me. Honestly I had a feeling, after she left. I hadn't seen you that upset since the twins." Louis says, shutting the door as he walks across the room. He crosses his arms before looking down at Clem. "I'm sorry I wasn't there for you. You were right, I just didn't want to believe it. I was so upset about Marlon's death, but he did so much fucked up shit. Giving away the twins, leaving Clem for dead, murdering Brody." Louis seems to trail off at the mention of Brody, understandably seeing how we both left things with her. He quickly regains his composure though, looking down at me with a soft smile. "I don't agree with what AJ did, but I see why he did it. I don't forgive him just yet, but I know he is trying and that does mean something." Louis puts a hand on my shoulder, before looking over at Clementine. "She is a good fit for you. You two would make a good couple."
"Dammit Louis, shut the fuck up." I say as I playfully punch his stomach as he once again tries to tease me. I could tell he was just trying to cheer me up, but it was still embarrassing. He just laughs and backs away from me, pretending like I broke one of his ribs. "I'm gonna go grab AJ, I'm sure he wants to see her." Louis says as he walks out of the room. I sigh, feeling the warm blush that was definitely covering my face. I look down at Clem one last time before standing up, AJ running through the door and past me to the bed. "Clem!" He yells as he runs up to her. "Shh! She is still asleep little dude." Louis says as he enters the room not long after him. "Oh, is she gonna be okay?" AJ asks looking over to me. I give him a soft smile, kneeling down to his height to ruffle his hair. "You know Clementine is a fighter. I'm not too worried." I say with a smile. That was such a fucking lie. I was terrified.