"And just like the sun burnt out to let the moon shine, I would sacrifice myself a thousand nights just to get a glimpse of your light"
❃ B l a z e ❃
I squared my shoulders, waiting for Andrea to say something but she just pursed her lips in thought.
Aiden looked confused too at her reaction, a flare of irritation flitting on his face. "He's trouble, Blaze. The entire family is" Andrea finally spoke up, although her voice was still unsure.
"I can you assure you, he's not. Neither is Bree" I firmly shook my head. "You don't know about them" she argued but I didn't let that get to my head. "As long as I've known them, they've been the good guys" I sneaked a glance at Aiden, to see his fists clenched.
"I don't know how to tell you the truth" Andrea looked tired. "Don't. I'll figure it out myself, but I know that Rafael isn't what you're making him out to be" I stopped myself before I said something that would suggest that I had overheard her conversation with Mark.
"Just... be careful" she muttered and rubbed the bridge of her nose in frustration. I could swear she was trying to restrain from saying anything further. "Mum, why aren't you telling her to stay away from him? He fucking sent me to the hospital" Aiden all but yelled.
"Keep your tone in check, Aiden. I don't want to hear that language out of your mouth again or there will be consequences" Andrea's glower shifted to Aiden, who instantly shut up. She had never been one for disrespect.
"And as far as I know, you weren't without fault in the entire ordeal either. So unless you're completely innocent, I don't want your suggestions on this matter" she looked sternly at Aiden, her glare was ferocious and I think Mark had gotten through to Andrea about what had really happened.
I could see that Aiden wanted to storm out of the room or lash out, but he would get out of the room by midnight in his state without help.
He ended up muttering something under his breath, and turning his gaze back to the TV.
"I don't mind you being friends with them, but I just don't want you to get involved too much" she advised. Well, too late.
"Yeah that's fine" I nodded. "Are you hungry?" She chimed, Aiden was still glaring at the TV. "I already ate. I'll just go to my room now." I said but she stopped me.
"Actually, there's something we want to talk to you kids about. Let me call Mark first" this caught Aiden's attention and he sat straight up, grimacing from the effort. I smirked at him evilly, finding happiness in his pain.
Mark soon came into the living room, freshly showered and his salt and pepper hair was dripping a bit. Andrea followed him with a serious expression on her face. That caused me to slightly be alarmed. What was so important?
Mark forcefully smiled at us, his gaze wavering as it shifted over to Aiden. "How was your day, Blaze?" he asked me formally and I could feel the tension exponentially rise in the room. "Great" I smiled at him, but it was like he was preoccupied with something else.
"We need to inform you kids about something" Mark stated formally, as if fighting one of his cases in court. "I'm guessing from your tone that we don't have a choice in it" Aiden snarked. I could see Andrea's patience running thin as she icily glared at him.
"No" Mark curtly looked at him and continued "It's not something that'll happen overnight. But it is what we want".
"We're leaving Glensdale" Andrea suddenly blurted and that managed to knock the wind out of my lungs. I gripped onto the edge of the sofa to prevent myself from sputtering some utter bullshit. Aiden, on the other hand didn't get the memo.
"What the fuck?" he suddenly roared, the vein on his forehead pulsed as he spoke. "That's it. You're grounded for a week after you heal" Andrea's voice bellowed.
Aiden seemed to ignore that, as he continued yelling. "Who said you can make that decision? Are you forgetting that this is our home?" Andrea winced at his statement, hurt flashing across his features. Aiden noticed too, his voice suddenly stopping.
"Once you leave for university, we will be moving town and selling this house" Mark took control, but I was still shocked from the news. I managed to muster a small smile on my face as I looked at them.
"That's great news" I smiled, but Andrea looked at me concerned. "We'll make arrangements for you, Blaze. You won't have to live with your Aunt" her voice broke through my thoughts.
"We can rent out an apartment for you to live in" Mark offered but I immediately shook my head at that possibility. Allowing me to stay at their home was one thing, but paying for my living expenses was a whole other scenario.
"Absolutely not, I will go back to live with her. It's only until I graduate or move out" I'd be turning 17 in a few months and I really didn't want to be a charity case for them even after they left town.
"No, I am not sending you back there" Andrea argued but was interrupted by Aiden. "Why in the world would you want to move?" he gritted out, his rage barely controlled.
"Because this place doesn't have anything more left" Andrea's voice fell.
"Yes, it does! It has your daughter's grave. It has memories from ever since we were kids. This house is attached to her, she used to live here. You can't just pick up and leave. This is the last thing we have left. Why can't you understand that?" I looked over to see Aiden's face was red, but I was most surprised to see tears threatening to spill over. After all that he had done, not even a tiny shred of me sympathised with him.
I don't know why I even agreed with him, but a part of me wanted to understand their reasoning behind dropping this huge bombshell.
Andrea seemed to sense the question on the tips of our tongues and she was on the verge of breaking down too. "Because I can't live in the same place where I wasn't able to save my own daughter. I can't keep lying to everyone about how she died, just so we can grieve in peace" Mark pulled her into his embrace as she cried and my heart broke. This wasn't about moving, it was about getting whatever closure they could.
"No. I won't let you do that" Aiden was shaking his head furiously as tears spilled down his face. I didn't know if they were from hurt or anger, but I looked away.
"You need to move on too, Aiden. We're doing this for our family. And that includes you Blaze" I saw Mark speak softly to the both of us, but I understood their situation. I would manage myself, but if this was their form of finality, I was no one to object.
"Why are you acting as if she never existed? Ever since she died, all you've done is go on work trips and vacations. Don't you miss her?" Aiden's voice was barely a whisper, and this was the first time I'd seen him so vulnerable since her funeral. But no amount of grief validated what he had done to me.
"I think about her every single day. I do. I'm a mother, I could never forget her" Andrea's voice was hoarse as she spoke and Mark looked broken at the state of everyone.
"Then why are you doing this?" Aiden had forgotten I was even there as he poured his heart out. I wanted to leave, but I didn't know how to without seeming disrespectful.
"I told you, honey. There's nothing left here anymore. You'll be off to university and you won't even remember this place" her muffled voice spoke up.
"She was my sister! I would never forget her" he argued, his voice cracking and in that moment, I saw the boy I knew from a year ago. I refused to give in to it, who he was now was nothing short of a monster.
"I'm sorry but it's final" Andrea wiped her eyes and took a deep breath, removing herself from Mark's arms.
"You're erasing her from your life. How could you do that to her?" he suddenly yelled and got up. It must've been a surge of adrenaline, because he managed to get up by himself and stormed, well hobbled, out of the room.
The room felt into an eerie silence and no one made a move to say anything. The sound of his footsteps moving further away echoed. I was feeling extremely uncomfortable with this situation.
"I'm sorry about all that. I'm happy if you're happy" I smiled at them and they warily smiled back.
"Thank you, he just needs some time" Mark said, his voice strained. "Yes. I'll go upstairs now" I awkwardly stood up to leave. "Wait" Andrea called out and I faced her.
"Has Aiden changed?" her words were enough to make me feel very anxious. Even if I had decided that I was leaving him, telling anyone else wasn't something I could do right now. I simply didn't have it in me.
"He's not the same person he was a year ago" I frowned, settling on the half truth. I had to figure out how I was going to get myself out of his grasp. It wasn't as easy as it seemed.
His life was way too intertwined with mine. We lived in the same house, went to school together, his parents pretty much did everything for me. But I knew I needed to escape before he completely broke me even more than he already had.
"Is he okay?" Andrea was hopeful, as if I knew the answers. She was completely wrong. "No, I don't think so" I mumbled, not being able to look her in the eye.
She sighed softly, tears welling up in her eyes again. It was heart wrenching to see such a strong woman break down in front of me. It proved that you could never really know what went on in a person's head. Rafael's words echoed through my mind. Even the strongest exteriors have their cracks.
"It's okay, you can go" Mark softly said, comforting Andrea. I felt very out of place and shuffled upstairs, still a little shaken up by this sudden news. The people who were equivalent to my godparents were leaving Glensdale, for good. Even if it was after Aiden was off for university, it was still a bit unsettling.
I entered my room, and slumped on the bed after flicking on the lights. Aiden had shifted downstairs as he had trouble going up the stairs. I was glad as I didn't want to see his face right now.
I unlocked my phone to see a new group chat. The name Arcade Avengers was on the top of my screen and I grinned, recalling the fun I had today. I scrolled through the messages to see a petition to make the arcade a weekly thing. Signed by Travis.
I had already saved all their numbers during the car ride home and Annikah was agreeing with Travis for obvious reasons. Raf and Bree on the other hand, weren't so keen.
My eyes widened at the contact names. Of course, Travis and Raf would mess around with this.
Raffie Roofie
You do realise we've been kicked out buddy?
T-Minus Stupid
They didn't mention if we were banned from coming though. So, that implies we can go.
Cheesy Brie
I don't think they had to mention rat!
that^
T-Minus Stupid
You're cute when you think I'm going to listen to you.
Raffie Roofie removed T-Minus Stupid from the group
I laughed at that and scrolled down to see Bree and Raf arguing on whether she was cute or not. Bree was saying he should learn to take a compliment cause they were twins so it applied to both of them. Rafael was arguing that he wasn't cute and that Travis was his best friend, but flirting with her wasn't even an option.
It ended with Travis being added back in the group accompanied by a string of cuss words. Ah, what a way to end the night.
I saw another goodnight message from Rafael and grinned. I texted him back and then got changed into my pajamas. I nestled into the covers and it was still early, so I settled on watching a movie on my laptop.
Keeping my good mood up, I settled on watching the Hangover for probably the umpteenth time. It was definitely a movie that Kiara, Jonah and I had rewatched a million times.
I was laughing throughout the entire movie, and I was definitely in high spirits, even when I decided to call in for the day.
Sleep didn't come easy, like always, but this time it didn't frustrate me. In my head, I was thinking of a checklist of sorts on how I would escape out of this. The most important was gathering the mental strength to escape.
I knew I needed to move out soon back to Aunt Mary's place. I would just need to find a reason to convince Andrea about that. Anything she could say or do couldn't be worse than what Aiden had already done. He had taken away everything, just short of my life. And that thought was enough to make me want to flee.
I had a job, but the most difficult was avoiding Aiden at school and other places. I needed a reason to tell everyone for the break up, whenever I did it. I needed to make sure that I was safe before I made a move against him.
The last thing would be telling the Marshalls and the police, whenever I found the courage. I hoped that the last step took months, because right now I was in no state to showcase my life for the past year. I could barely speak about all the horrors without having a breakdown. One good day didn't lead to another and I was aware of that. But this time, I was sure I wanted out. And I would fight for it.
As my eyes fluttered close, the last conscious thought through my brain was that this was going to be one of the hardest things I would ever in my life. I just hoped in the end, I came out whole and alive.
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The next morning I woke up at a reasonable time. I still had a nightmare, but surprisingly I was able to fall back asleep. I was feeling significantly less groggy.
Once I was done with my morning routine, it hit me that I would have to walk to school. I really didn't want to and I even thought about asking Bree if she could pick me up. Friends did that, right? I decided not to, I might end up seeming too clingy.
When I went downstairs for breakfast, only Andrea was awake, considering Aiden wouldn't be going to school for probably the whole week. Just like Rafael.
She was munching on some fried bread and jam. She looked up from her phone and looked at me and I took in her puffy face and strained smile. My mood deflated a little recalling the events of last night.
I grabbed a bowl of cereal and took a seat next to her. "Morning" her quirky reply came and I noticed she had stopped eating. "Is everything okay?" I hesitantly asked and her face morphed into exhaustion.
"I feel bad for Aiden, we shouldn't have told him like that" she mumbled. "I'm sure he'll come around" I tried to offer, but even I knew that wasn't true. I planned on avoiding him at all costs as I thought about my way out of his clutches.
"Anyways, tell me how is school?" She dodged. "It's been an eventful week" I jested, it really had been. "I'm happy that you're moving on" she softly smiled and I wish Aiden could feel the same way. Instead, he had chosen to ruin me beyond repair.
We engaged in a little small talk after that until it was time for me to go to school.
"I'll be off then" I told her as I grabbed my backpack from the sofa. "Wait, I forgot. Aiden's not coming. I'll drop you off" Andrea chimed and I turned back to say I could walk when a car honked from outside.
I peeked out of the window and recognised Travis' car in the driveway. "My umm... friends are here" I called back to Andrea and for some reason, I felt awkward saying that. She yelled a goodbye to me as I slipped my trainers on and went out.
I climbed into the backseat and saw Annikah wasn't here. Bree was in the front seat on her phone and looked back and greeted me along with Travis. "Annikah?" I questioned and Travis was the one to answer. "We still have to pick her up, she actually lives close by".
We soon pulled up to a modest looking house in a a neighbourhood which was only about five minutes away from my own. The front yard was quite well gardened and several hollyhocks and rose bushes lined the borders.
Annikah soon rushed out while tying her hair up into a ponytail on the way. She slipped in beside me and her face looked flushed.
"Couldn't you text me a little earlier that you were coming to pick me up?" she huffed at Bree who sneakily grinned. "No".
"It's not that I don't mind, but why are we carpooling as if we were in a coming of age movie?" she asked and I couldn't help the laugh that escape my lips. "Well, grumpy over here" he pointed to Bree who glowered at him "doesn't like driving and her brother is quite obviously not here to chauffeur her around". Bree interrupted him all of a sudden "I wasn't the one who asked you to pick me up. I could drive myself alright".
Travis ignored her and then pointed at me. "And I'm pretty sure her boyfriend is in no condition to go the bathroom alone, let alone drive her to school" I narrowed my eyebrows at him, but I was internally grinning. It was clear that there was a mutual dislike for Aiden amongst us. They just didn't know about mine.
"Sounds like a good idea" Ann nodded. "Should we be grabbing coffees along the way too?" Annikah looked amused as Bree looked offended. "Raf and I usually do" she retorted.
We didn't end up getting any coffees and went straight to school. I was feeling queasy all of a sudden as I got out of the car. Some students were shooting me not so discreet glances and whispers. I suddenly regretted acting like a lunatic on Friday. My cheeks flushed as I heard a few conversation topics floating around.
Did you see her meltdown in the cafeteria? I almost feel sorry for her. Seems like she's lost it ever since Kiara died.
I wouldn't want to be her right now.
Who would've thought she'd be responsible for all this?
I heard she's cheating on Aiden with Rafael. If she wanted to do that, all she had to do was break up with Aiden. She didn't have to whore around.
I ignored the absurd thoughts that they were voicing. They didn't know anything about my situation, so their opinions were irrelevant. But I was a human, so a tiny part of me was affected by the things they were saying.
I saw Bree glaring at some of the people out of the corner of my eye and I gulped as I filtered out the annoying rumours. Just like in sophomore year. I was being overly paranoid, as if I could hear more than what they were actually saying.
I opened my locker and got my things out with shaky hands. I wasn't bothered so much that some people were saying utter bullshit about things they didn't know shit about. I was more bothered that this brought back unwanted memories from when Kiara died, when I had to keep a front and act like I was fine, when I was suffering all alone.
Bree was glowering at anyone who sent a second glance our way. Annikah was texting someone on her phone and Travis was now standing with a bunch of his other friends, who I vaguely recognised.
It wasn't as if everyone was focusing on us, some people had better things to do. But the ones who did, would stare and wouldn't even bother to look away as they murmured under their breath.
"What the fuck is wrong with these people?" Bree angrily muttered. She was cut off by the bell and we went to our different classes.
During English, Mrs. Lively was sick and we had a relief teacher, who was pretty laid back and let us do what we wanted. I couldn't hold back the grin that erupted across my face at the mention of her falling sick.
Annikah and I talked about the girl she had met yesterday. She told me her name was Serayah. "We talked about some stuff and I mean we've been texting a bit back and forth, but it's been a day. I'll just see where it goes" she smiled but I could see a bit of apprehension in her smile.
"Is everything okay?" I asked her hesitantly and she bit her lip as she thought it over.
"It's just hard not telling your parents about who you really like. All of my friends and the people I love know, except for them. How crazy is that? I used to have a girlfriend before I moved here, but to my parents she was always a friend".
I could see how painful it was for her to talk about this and my heart went out to her, it should never hurt to talk about this. I was about to ask her to stop if she wasn't comfortable but she continued.
"It's constantly living a life where I have to pretend like I'm not who I want to be, because being straight is the norm. It's not like saying my favourite colour is blue instead of red or something like that. I'm not even sure how my parents would react. No one really asks their kids 'Oh, so what's your sexual orientation?' I couldn't find the courage to come out to them, that's why she broke up with me a few months before we came here. She didn't like hiding it" I grabbed her hand in mine and smiled at her, trying to tell her that I was listening. She should never have gone through that in the first place.
"I'm sure my dad wouldn't mind or at least he'd ignore me, but I feel like my mum wouldn't be so accepting. I don't know if I'm overthinking it, but I feel the minute I come out to them, I'll be alienated from my own family. Being homosexual isn't something that I should be afraid of admitting, but I am. And that sucks" I could hear her voice crack up and I was glad no one could hear us right now since we were in the back.
This seemed like something she had holding in for quite some time, and in a way I was happy that she was talking to me about it.
"Hey Ann, look at me" I saw tears brimming her eyes and I instantly wanted to just hug her and tell her it would be okay.
"I'm so sorry you went through all that. You should never be going through something like this in the first place, because it doesn't make you any different. To me, you're just a human being. Just like I wouldn't judge you for liking pineapple on pizza, I would never judge you for liking girls instead of boys. It's normal and okay, and you shouldn't feel alienated for that" she smiled at me as a few tears slipped. Her face lit up at the mention of the debate we had yesterday.
"As for your parents, they should understand cause you're their child. But that doesn't mean they will. Whatever you choose to do is up to you, and I promise you all of us will always be here for you no matter what. The people who don't understand are missing out on having someone amazing like you in their life. For all I care, they can rot and burn in the deepest pits of hell" I jokingly grinned at her and I could see relief wash over her face.
"Thank you for that. I just needed someone to talk to" she murmured, wiping away her tears. "You can always talk to me. Hell, I'm sure you can talk to any one of us. Travis will most definitely be needing those tips" She smirked at that and grinned brightly as her flushed cheeks lit up.
"We should definitely tell Bree to be a bit careful when they're around Rafael. They're making it so obvious, they should probably just hold a sign saying the tension is astronomical" Annikah laughed and soon after the bell rang.
"Plan to grill her in Lunch?" she asked. "Affirmative" I grinned.
I met up with Bree in Biology and I noticed she was on edge. She was constantly glaring at the people around her who were talking amongst themselves.
"Hey?" I snapped my fingers in front of her eyes and she whipped her head towards me. "Yeah what? Sorry" she muttered distractedly. "Don't listen to them, they're probably just talking about something else" I tried to convince her, and it was partly true. When you were stuck in the spot, you'd usually think everyone was talking about you when they actually weren't.
"Yeah, I know. It's just this morning everyone was saying how Raf should be expelled and that he's crazy in the head. They don't even know anything about him" her voice was aggravated as she cracked her knuckles anxiously.
I saw a girl look back at the noise and shoot us a judgmental look full of spite, before staring back ahead. I don't why, but that made me angry. "Do we have a problem?" I glared at her as she turned back.
"No. But if you must know, you shouldn't have cheated on your boyfriend. You're going for a fucking psycho" her words infuriated me further and I gripped the edge of my desk as I leaned forward.
I tried to calm down, but I hated how people were judging Rafael. They didn't know a thing. I wasn't going to let them speak crap about me or him. I had learnt from my mistakes in sophomore year.
"I suggest you don't comment on stuff that you don't know anything about. No one is a psycho, but I could gladly be one if you want me to" the bitter words burst out of my mouth before I could stop them. What was wrong with me?
She looked at me with widened eyes and turned back ahead. Bree was looking at me in the same way, but amusement danced in her chocolate brown orbs. "You've sure gotten feisty" she smirked. "No, I don't know why I said that" I whispered to her as Mr. Harris came in.
"I don't mind, you should be more open" I thought over her words for the rest of the class. It wouldn't hurt to open up, would it? Yeah, just take a look in the mirror. No, I was fine just the way I was.
The next two classes were a repeat of the earlier ones. The looks had died down but I could still feel my skin prickle as if I felt that every eye in the room was on me. I hated that feeling.
It was now Lunch and I saw Ann and Bree talking near the cafeteria. Ann was a bit shaken up and by her face, I was guessing she had shared what she was going through with Bree. Bree pulled her into a hug and my heart warmed.
"Hey guys" I spoke up softly from behind them, Annikah smiled at me. She wasn't crying but she seemed tired. "I'm starving, I could probably eat a rhinoceros right about now" she piped up. "Wouldn't the horn pierce your throat?" I grinned at her and she scowled at me.
We approached our table with out lunch trays and saw Travis already there, typing on his phone. He looked up and a grin split across his face. "Let us dine" he flourished with his hands.
We ate in silence when Travis cleared his throat. "Did anyone else say anything?" he spoke but his eyes found Bree. "No" she muttered, pushing her chips around. "Just tell me if someone said anything" Travis insisted and Bree stared at him blankly. He sighed and got up, but not before shooting her an intense look.
"Everything alright between you two?" I asked and she hesitantly shook her head. "You know, you guys should be more discreet around Rafael. He thinks you guys hate each other, but I think it's the quite opposite" I grinned at her and she looked at me, horrified.
"We-uh-huh? Where did you get that idea?" she spluttered, suddenly turning red.
"You guys aren't so secretive with your love filled looks and flirting. Rafael's the only blind one here" Annikah grabbed a chip from Bree's tray and smirked at her.
"Yeah, well you're wrong. Trav's a flirt, we don't have any history. I mean, does it look like it? It doesn't, right? We're polar opposites. See, he's probably out there flirting with another girl right now" she turned around and darted her gaze around the cafeteria with narrowed eyes.
She then looked at us, embarrassed as Travis was nowhere around. "And then she has the audacity to say they have no history" Annikah muttered and popped a chip in her mouth.
"Hey, those are mine" Bree yelled at her, garnering the attention of a few students. That seemed to be something we were really good at.
Bree sighed and then blurted out "Okay fine, we used to hook up over the summer" and covered her face with her hands.
"And?" Annikah prompted. "He caught feelings, I did too. It got too complicated. It ended. Simple" she muttered. "Okay" Annikah shrugged her shoulders and I was wondering where this conversation was going.
Bree started speaking of her own accord and Annikah smirked at me. "I don't know when it actually happened, but one thing led to another and yeah, we hooked up a couple of times. Raf didn't know then and he still doesn't need to know now" she shot a warning look at me. What? I wasn't going to snitch.
"I guess it was more than that though. He said so and I just froze. I'm just scared of this sort of stuff" she mumbled and I instantly saw how Rafael and her shared the same fear. He didn't show it, but it was there. It was like they had witnessed how wrong relationships could go.
"Then we just grew apart, he would text me and stuff, but then he quit altogether. Then, during the end of summer, he asked me to have a talk. We decided we could be civil and be friends" she scoffed bitterly. "Yeah, that never worked out. I don't know how to tell him that I like him and then we have the major problem here- Rafael".
"You should just be honest with each other. It's obvious he's very much into you. And I'm sure Raf wouldn't do anything that bad, it's his best friend" Annikah told her.
"Have you seen her boyfriend?" Bree pointed at me. "That's because he was her boyfriend. He obviously had more than one reason to" Annikah ignored my glare.
"Yeah, I know. But there's so many things that could go wrong" Bree was looking hesitant.
"Doesn't mean you shouldn't give it a shot" I told her with a soft smile.
In reality, I should've been the last person giving advice on relationships. It was obvious how that went for me.
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Today was Thursday and I was standing in front of the Hernandez household. It had been three days since we had the conversation about Bree and Travis in the cafeteria and they were slowly accepting whatever it was between them.
Rafael and I had been texting back and forth for a few days and he asked me to come over yesterday to hang out, but I had work.
Travis was just as in denial as Bree, when I smirked at him when he flirted with Bree. When he found out we knew, he looked embarrassed and rushed out of there faster than a cheetah on steroids.
They were figuring out whatever it was that was blooming between them, and after Ann and I playing matchmaker, they were finally going for a coffee today after dropping me close to the house. Of course, I had to walk for ten minutes. If Rafael saw them, I wasn't sure how things would go down.
Work had been easy so far, Charlotte taught me the ropes and what I was supposed to do. It wasn't much, just making sure all the books were in the correct genres and knowing a few good books here and there. I also helped clean and dust the place and honestly, it gave me time to think.
I was here as today was my day off, and I hadn't heard from him since yesterday night. I wasn't worried, I just wanted to surprise him. Friends do that stuff. Right?
I rang the doorbell and it was soon opened to reveal Mariana. I was still embarrassed after our last meeting, and I sheepishly smiled at her. She ushered me in.
"Aubree's not here and Rafael is up in his room" she smiled at me. "Oh, then I should probably go..." but she instantly shook her head.
"No, he hasn't been out of his room since last night. You should go and check up on him" she cheekily smiled at me and I flushed, looking away.
"Is he sick?" I asked and she shook her head again, hesitantly. "No, I'm not sure. He didn't have lunch or breakfast" she stated worriedly. I nodded my head, a hint of concern creeping into my thoughts.
I walked towards the staircase and was halfway up, when I awkwardly turned around. "Which one is his room?" I asked sheepishly. "You've seen the guest bedroom?" I nodded. "In front of it" she smiled at me. That's how he had heard me that night.
I thanked her and physically, I was feeling much better. My wounds were healing and the bruises were fading. Aiden and I hadn't interacted besides an icy glare or a little forceful shove. In my books, that was paradise. I was working up the courage to tell Andrea to move out, but I needed time.
I walked down the hallway and knocked on the door opposite the guest room. I heard no reply, so I stood there, fidgeting with my fingers. I knocked again. "Raf?" I asked and there was no reply.
I slowly creaked the door open and saw the entire room was bathed in darkness. Only a small slit of light was falling directly on a mop of ruffled brown hair through a peek of the curtains.
I couldn't quite make out what the room looked like, but I saw Raf lying shirtless on his stomach, sprawled across the bed. As my eyes adjusted to the darkness, I gulped at the sight.
The onyx silk sheets were pulled up until his bare torso and his back muscles gleamed in all of their glory, the sheets almost artistically draped around the dip of his spine. His tattoos were hard to make out, but his muscles were bunched as his hands loosely gripped his pillow. I could however distinctly make out the veins snaking around his arm as if they were cords intertwining, all the way up to his palms.
My eyes travelled north across his bare back, towards his brown hair that was mussed up, and his droopy lids that were characteristically slightly open. His face looked serene and peaceful, as if he was floating away in some kind of wonderland, away from the dark realities of the world.
I envied him for his ability to sleep so peacefully without rolls of flashbacks playing in his mind, or terrifying manifestations making him writhe in pain.
I approached him, and he showed no sign of life, except the barely noticeable flutter of his hair as his own breath tickled his golden brown strands.
I tried not to stare, but I couldn't help myself from drinking in the sight before me. It was as if he was a muse for some abstract painting, despite his gruff exterior, and I appreciated how chaotically beautiful he was.
Okay, stop before you write a whole book about it.
I gently prodded his cheek, afraid to know if he was someone who lashed out as soon as they woke up. His eyes fluttered a little and I noticed how his eyelashes curled and brushed his cheeks, casting miniature shadows that were illuminated by the faint light.
I poked his cheek a little harder, pressing my finger into the sharp bones sculpting his godly face. He grumbled a little and his lips twitched, diverting my attention towards them. His plump bottom lip jutted out, almost as if in an adorable little pout and I had the strange urge to lean forwards and feel them against my own. Nope, mayday mayday. Mission abort.
I settled for more ammunition this time, using two fingers to prod his cheek. As soon as I leaned forward and lifted my fingers towards him, his hand shot forward and he grabbed my wrist in his hold, his touch was gentle yet electrifying.
I gasped at that and his eyes fluttered open. The light caught on to the mesmerising hues of his irises, a swirl of sage green and golden alluring me closer to appreciate their transcendent beauty.
"Hi" his husky, baritone voice shot tingles across my skin, and I could see him faintly smirking, a corner of his lip lifted in an amusing manner.
I was too busy admiring the beautiful colour of his orbs, that I didn't heed any attention to the redness surrounding them, like a plague swarming around a flourishing green meadow. It was as if it stole the beauty of the same meadow, sucking the life out of it.
For a fleeting moment, I conjured up the thought that he could've been crying or have a massive headache. But all those thoughts quickly dissolved as soon as my eyes fell on a packet of pills and a smoked out blunt on his bedside table. I wanted so badly to believe they were legal and prescribed, but the crude packaging was enough proof to contradict that.
I looked back at him to see him watching my face with a glint in his eye. Then, as if he snapped out of a daze, his eyes darted to what I had witnessed and his grasp on my wrist loosened.
I released my wrist from his grasp and edged back a step. His guilty eyes found mine, and I tried to convince myself that this was none of my business. But my flicker of concern now burned as a raging fire as I wondered why he would do this.
"Blaze" my name slipped out from his mouth and the raspiness in his voice should've been appealing, but right now I was plagued by a million thoughts. It's not your business.
I put on a wary smile and turned my gaze to him, burying the questions on my mind. "I was just here to see if you were okay". I could see guilt clouding his face, but he had nothing to be guilty about. I was no one to be butting into this matter.
He got up and my eyes fell to his bare chest, admiring the shadowed hard lines and planes that defined his sculpted upper body. I couldn't see the tattoo on his chest, that I desperately wanted to figure out, due to the lack of light.
He was again wearing grey sweatpants that were slung low, worn just above his hip bone, giving a dangerous view of his striking muscles. I brought my mind back to the present, and his bloodshot eyes were enough to make me question - was he really in his right mind right now?
"I should go then" I pointed towards the door and turned around. "No wait" he seemed to be okay, so I turned around to see him looking at me intensely.
"I wasn't expecting you to come here today" he muttered, shifting his gaze onto the pills. "What if Bree had been the one to walk in?" I retorted, but clamped my mouth shut as he flinched at my words.
"I'm sorry, I don't have a right to say" I turned around but this time he grabbed my arm before I could take another step. "Will you just look at me?" He pleaded as he leaned down a bit.
"I am looking at you" I huffed, keeping my eyes on his tattooed upper arm. His hand reached out and gently tilted my face towards his. "You weren't supposed to see that" his gaze pierced into mine, a thousand words spoken just with a look into those hypnotic sage green irises.
"Doesn't mean it wasn't there" I mumbled and I wanted nothing more than to just leave. I was saying this as if I was perfect, but I was far from it.
My guilty gaze darted to the pills as if I had found some incriminating evidence for an unsolved mystery.
"It's really none of my business. I have to work, I should go" He scoffed lightly. "If it isn't your business, why are you still looking over there? And, you don't have work today, princesa".
I folded my arms over my chest and glared at him. "So? I can still go there if I want to. It's a free country". His deep laughter filtered through my eardrums and I looked at him in annoyance. "You're adorable" he ruffled my hair and I growled at him. It was like he was purposefully dodging the question lingering in the air.
"I'm going home now" I turned around but he stopped me again, this time pulling my forearm and I stumbled back. 'What? Are you holding me captive for ransom now? I'll have you know that I'm still a working student and can't afford it" I grumpily stated and he lifted an amused eyebrow, shaking his head. "I- that's not how it works. Plus, you'd willingly stay here" I narrowed my eyes at him and then pinched his arm.
"Ow. What the fuck was that for?" He yelped and I grinned at him. "Being a cocky prick".
The room then fell into another uncomfortable silence and I shifted on my feet. "You would've stayed if I wasn't like this" I winced at his words. "I had just come to check up on you. I didn't intend on staying" He didn't seem to believe me, so I continued.
"No I really mean it. I should get going" and this time he didn't hold me back.
"Wait" I turned around just as I was about to exit the room. "I'll drop you off" I furiously shook my head, he didn't seem to be in any condition to drive, but I didn't want to mention it.
"I can drive just fine Blaze" he snapped as if sensing my suspicions. "No, you should go back to sleep" I insisted but he glared at me. "I took those eight hours ago. I'm fine. I'm driving you" I cowered at the sharp edge to his voice, his bluntness catching me off guard.
"Okay" I looked away from him. He sighed and opened the curtains an inch more, only to flinch away from the harsh light. "Where's my shirt?" he grumbled looking around, and my eyes involuntarily traveled across his chest.
My eyes fell on the few tattoos inscribed on his chest, but a particular one demanded my attention. It was just below his collarbone, above his heart. I took a few unintentional steps forward to make out what was written. There were initials and two lines underneath them.
c.h. "siempre en mi mente por siempre en mi corazon"
Rafael caught me staring and turned away, slipping on the shirt that he had found.
He clenched his jaw and without saying a word, he opened the curtains all the way, shielding his eyes and his room fell into view. It had an entirely black theme, from the sheets to the wallpaper. The sheets as I had previously noticed were black silk and there were a few pieces of decor that were the same ebony black.
Before I could look around, he grabbed my hand and dragged me out of the room. "Hey!" I protested but he didn't say anything as he gently pulled me down the stairs. "Do I look like a hostage to you?" I grumbled and he looked at me, amused.
Mariana was in the kitchen and Rafael grabbed his sunglasses and keys which were on the island, avoiding her gaze. "Let's go" he muttered and Mariana was looking at us with equal parts curiosity and amusement.
"You can let go of me now" I stopped and he ignored me, still urging me forward. "What is your problem?" I muttered after we were out the door. Once we were near the car, he opened my door and gestured with his hand for me to get in. All the while, he wasn't speaking a word.
Once he got in the car, he turned to me, his eyes covered by his sunnies. "What? Haven't you brushed?" I joked, waiting for an answer. His face blanched at my joke and he instantly spoke up. "I already brushed and showered in the morning" I couldn't quite see if he was glaring at me or not.
"I pulled you along, cause you probably wouldn't get in the same car as me right now" he joked, a strained laugh escaping him. "No, I don't mind. You better not crash us" I nudged him with my elbow playfully.
"Definitely not. Don't you trust me?" He raised a dramatic hand to his heart. "Of course I do" I murmured. He smiled at me then started driving.
"Where are you actually taking me?" I was curious to know if he actually knew the bookstore. I had told him the name, but wasn't sure if he knew the place.
"To your house" he said in a duh tone. "What makes you think I want to go home?" He ignored my question. "You should rest, it's your day off" He deadpanned. I scowled at him and looked out the window.
There was the question lingering in the air ever since I saw the pills- how often did he do this? But I didn't dare open my mouth to ask. I had already overstepped my boundaries.
As if deciding to address it, he spoke up while still focusing on the road. "I'm not addicted. Yet." He said the last part so softly, that I barely heard it but I stiffened nonetheless. I didn't say a word for the rest of the ride and neither did he.
"You should drop me off a little far away" I said and he nodded, as if understanding the reason. I didn't ask how he knew the address.
He pulled the car to a halt but I made no move to get out.
"I know how easy it is to be addicted to pain. Don't do that to yourself" the words spilled out of my mouth as I turned to look at him. My hands subconsciously ran over the self-inflicted scars on my legging-clad thighs.
His fingers clenched around the steering wheel and his jaw tightened as he went over my words. When I noticed he wasn't going to say anything, I opened the door and went to get out, but stopped at his words.
"I don't do this to feel the pain, Blaze. I do this to numb it."
Hey Babes! How are y'all feeling today? I am so hungry right now but like when am I not. Nothing new here folks.
THE NEW COVER OMG YOU FUCKING QUEEN I LOVE ITTT. vividlyash And then she has the audacity to say I'm the better one here smh. Yours is definitely way better love and I effing love youuuuuuu. You are one motherfuckin talented person, and I don't see anyone denying that. I'm gonna stop right there before I write a speech, show her some love in the comments because she's nothing short of a superstar. If you say any different, I'll fight.
Everything that I showed in the chapter about Annikah going through is loosely similar to someone I know that went through this. It was emotionally very hard and I could feel how difficult it was for her, even when it shouldn't have been. So spread positivity and be kind.
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Also, I wrote this chapter in like three days so can I get a whoop whoop. Do you like longer chapters or shorter ones? I could break them into two if you think they're too long, cause that's a major insecurity I have with this book.
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