Friday, December 7, 1979
Nicole blinked her eyes open to a sleeping Michael laying beside her. Still nude, she found herself draped in a lush velvet quilt. The room was dark and peaceful and warm with soft music whispering from the record player making her wonder how long Michael was awake after she passed out. Nicole couldn't remember falling asleep but the dull ache in her core and scratch in her throat helped her reimagine... Her body was convulsing as she begged Michael's name over and over. Through heavy eyes she could see the look on Michael's face when he finally gave in to his own pleasure. And the strength in his body-- Dear God, it was glorious.
Nicole closed her eyes, silently praying the lover in her dreams would be half as good so she could leave Michael to rest, but the grumbles and growling of her stomach forced her out of bed. Nicole pulled on a clean pair of sweatpants from her bag and one of Michael's t-shirts left discarded on the floor as she tip-toed around the bed and out the room in search of food.
As she neared the kitchen, a faint light led the way.
Randy: Well hello, Beautiful! Care for a drink?
Nicole was startled to see Randy, Jackie, Tito and Jermaine sitting around the large kitchen island with a half-empty bottle of Cognac staring at her. Nicole jumped, rubbing the sleep from her eyes and clutching the front of her shirt, suddenly very aware that she was not wearing a bra.
Tito: Sorry to scare you, Sweetheart.
Jackie: Did we wake you?
Nicole: No--no, I was out cold actually... Just looking for a snack.
She could hear Randy giggle and whisper something under his breath, but Jackie punched him firm in the arm for it. Nicole could tell by the dazed look in his eyes, Randy was drunk.
Jermaine: Here, take my seat! I can make something for us. You like grilled cheese?
Jermaine hopped up offering his chair before she could even try to decline. A grilled cheese sandwich sounded so delicious, but she really did want to get back to bed.
Nicole: But I--
Jermaine: Oh, don't say no, you'll hurt my feelings! I'm a great chef, I promise! Have a seat.
Jackie: Come on girl, we won't bite.
All the boys had brilliant smiles impossible to deny. Then Nicole remembered her conversation with LaToya, "the more you know us, the more you know Michael." With arms still crossed over her chest, Nicole sat in Jermaine's discarded chair. Their voices were soft and calm like their mothers' but after even this short interaction it was clear all the Jackson men knew how to flirt, a trait they surely took after Joseph.
Tito: Let me pour you a drink--
Nicole: Oh, no, I don't really care for hard liquor.
Tito: I can mix up something for you. What do you like?
Jackie: Mike's girl? I bet she likes sweets.
Nicole just shrugged and nodded. Tito grinned and nodded back, hurrying off to the far side of the kitchen to prepare her beverage.
Nicole: What time is it?
Jermaine: Just after midnight--
Randy: You must've been knocked out good, huh?
Jackie: And you missed dinner. You must be starving.
Randy: Must've been pretty busy to skip dinner...
Nicole: Yeah-- I mean, not really... Just catching up and lost track of time I guess. Michael and I haven't seen each other in a while, we've both been pretty busy with work.
Randy: Are you in entertainment too?
Jackie: No, she's in school. Enid told me.
Jermaine: Oh yeah? Studying what?
Nicole: English. I'd like to be a journalist.
Randy: Hey, I know English real good. I can be your tutor!
She tried to keep her composure as she answered this new round of interrogations, but their laughter at Randy's poor grammar and slurred speech quickly lowered her defenses. They were kind and gentle and playful, just like Michael. Though she wished Michael were here, Nicole was genuinely curious to learn more about the Jackson boys, forcing her own shyness aside for just a while. Just in time, Tito appeared back at the table with a burnt yellow beverage. Two shots of dark rum on ice, mixed with pineapple juice, club soda and a squeeze of lime. It tasted delicious.
Nicole: Thank you. This is really good.
Tito: No problem girl. I'll be your bartender all night!
Nicole: How long have you guys been sitting out here?
Jackie: Oh, maybe an hour or so. We just never get a chance to hang like this, you know? We used to see each other all the time.
Jermaine: All day, every day. That feels like ages ago, huh?
Randy: It's weird having everyone back in the house with all the kids running around-- Oh yeah, sorry Nicole for splashing you before. Yall see LaToya's face!?
Tito: Man, she was mad!
Jermaine: I thought her whole head was going to pop off!
Jackie: And I forgot how quick Mike could run! He was doing laps on everybody. That boy is like a damn rabbit with all that energy! I guess today finally wore him out--
Nicole chuckled. Michael was definitely worn out.
Tito: Did you have fun today, Nicole? Hope we weren't too much for you?
Nicole: Oh gosh, I had a great time! Today's been amazing, truly.
Randy: Janet said the girls grilled you pretty good at lunch, huh?
Nicole: Um, it wasn't too bad. I know they meant well.
Jermaine: You look like you can hold your own.
Tito: We all get a little protective with Michael. That's our baby brother, you know?--
Randy: What about me!?
Jackie: Yeah, you too, Big Head!
Again they chuckled as Tito poured another round for himself and Jackie.
Randy: What about me!?
Tito: Man, I'm cutting you off. Isn't it past your bedtime?
Randy: Hey Bro, I'm trying to get to know our new friend here-- So uh, Nicole, you have any sisters?
Nicole: No, it's just me.
Randy: Oh, so no brothers either, huh?-- Uh huh, that sounds real real nice. How old are you?
Nicole: I'll turn 20 in February.
Randy: Hey, you're just a little older than me! And I like me an older woman!
A firm fist hit Randy's shoulder again making him tumble off the chair in a fit laughter. As his laughter faded, he stayed lying on the floor. Nicole laughed too and took another long sip, now unsure if the circumstance or the alcohol was making her cheeks burn.
Tito: Don't mind him, he's just a kid.
Jackie: Yeah, he's just fooling around.
Nicole: Is this what it was like for you guys growing up? Always trying to steal each other's girl?
Jermaine: Always!--
Jackie: Man, nobody wanted your raggedy girls, Jermaine!
Tito: Nah-- Jermaine wanted everyone else's!
Jackie: Not Michael though, he was always trying to send the girls home! Like we was going to hurt 'em or somethin'--
Jermaine: Yeah, we were just... having fun... I mean, unless the ladies were into that!
The boys laughed proudly, certainly less bashful than Michael. Nicole shifted in her seat remembering the conversation from lunch. She wondered what young Michael saw that he was trying to protect these girls from. Clearly his experience was much different from his brothers'. Randy, still on the floor, was now snoring loudly.
Nicole: So Michael never 'had fun' with you guys?
Jackie: Nah, he would love to flirt though, you know, trying to peak up skirts when he was little-- harmless stuff. But he never did anything. He was a good kid.
Jermaine: He wasn't that good. Don't yall remember the prostitute!?
Nicole: The what!?
Tito: Man, shut up Jermaine! You know ain't nothin' happen. I bet you were the one who called that old lady--
Jackie: You probably had her number on speed dial!--
Jermaine: I would've got it from you!
Nicole: A prostitute?
Tito: It was just a prank-- We were out on the road and one of the guys called this lady, had her go to Michael's room. A birthday gift or something, I guess...
Nicole: And what happened?
Jermaine: Not a damn thing! Mike read the Bible to her for an hour! A whole hour with a woman with experience like that and he just wasted it!
Jackie: Oh, like you would've known what to do?
Jermaine: Hell yeah! I'd give it to her so good she wouldn't want nobody else! She'd quit prostitutin' and come live with me forever!--
Tito: Oh hush, you ain't know shit--
Jackie: And weren't you already married?
Jermaine: I was 18, that's grown!--
Nicole: Wait-- 18? So Michael was...?
Tito: Oh, about 15? Something like that.
Nicole paused again for another long drink. Who would think to hire a prostitute for a 15-year-old?
Jermaine: But it was just a joke, you know? Everyone knows Mike don't like girls like that--
Jackie: Hey! Watch it man! You know that's how rumors keep starting--
Jermaine: I ain't mean it like that! I mean he likes good girls!
Nicole: What kinds of rumors?
Nicole watched the boys shift uncomfortably. Normally eager to speak over each other, suddenly now no one had anything to say.
Tito: You know--
Nicole: Do people think Michael's gay?
Jackie: You know people just like to talk. They make up whatever they want just to sell papers. It don't mean nothing.
Tito: They been saying it for years.
Nicole: Well he's definitely not gay.
Jermaine: We know.
With a platter of toasted grilled cheese for everyone, Jermaine returned to the table, offering first to Nicole. The bread was warm and buttery between her fingers as she pinched off pieces for her mouth. Her glass was empty and though she missed the taste, the numbness on her lips and warmth in her belly lingered so she knew she'd had enough.
Nicole: What does Michael say to people who think that?
Tito: He says 'I'm not gay.' And that should be enough-- but they keep talking. So now he just ignores it.
Jermaine: Hell, he got a little hottie like you, it ain't really helping his case keeping you locked up in the house all day.
Nicole: I'm not locked up. We just spent a week together on a road trip.
Jackie: A week!? Just you two?
Nicole: Yes.
Jermaine: Alone!?
Nicole: Well... yeah.
Tito: When!?
Nicole: We got back two weeks ago.
Eyes glanced around the table, Nicole unaware of the secrets just revealed as her exhaustion slowly returned.
Tito: ... That's why Joseph was so heated! I guess Mike had been avoiding him until today.
Nicole: ... Huh?
Jackie: We had to cancel two big gigs because Michael never showed for rehearsals. He said he had the flu and went to a detox spa...
As the realization of Michael's lie hit, the boys began to snicker. As the story came together, the laughter grew louder.
Jermaine: And when we had Mother call him and he sounded so pitiful!? I told yall that sounded just like his frog voice!--
Jackie: And when he got back this boy was on Cloud 9, skipping and singing all over the place! I said 'Mike, shouldn't you be takin' it easy!?' And he said, 'No way Bro, I'm cured!' And I said, 'Damn that place must be something magical. What's the name, Mike!?'--
Tito: And what'd he say, Jackie!?
Jackie: THE FISH TANK!
Though Nicole didn't understand the joke, she knew that was a terrible name for a health spa. A knot collected in her stomach as she watched Jackie's eyes fill with giddy tears. Cheese sandwich was spilling from Jermaine's full mouth as he laughed soundlessly, struggling to breathe. Tito, normally the coolest of the Jackson brothers, was hammering the table with his balled fist.
Nicole: I--I don't get it...
Jermaine: And YOU'RE the FISH!
Nicole: ... I don't know what that means... Look guys, promise you won't say anything to Michael about this, okay? I didn't know this was supposed to be a secret.
Jackie: Ah, Mike's harmless. You need to worry about Joe--
Tito: Oh, he would throw a fit!
Jermaine: He can't do anything to Michael. We're grown.
Jackie: His little cash cow just let a girl keep him from a big fat paycheck. Did you already forget, Little Bro, how angry he got when you chose to stay with Motown? Is that really a chance we wanna take?
Nicole: Oh-- okay fine. You guys promise you won't say anything to Joseph? Please!?
Jackie: Yeah, of course.
Tito: No problem, Sweetheart. Secret is safe with us.
Jermaine: Sure, sure-- but I just gotta know, what was this 'road trip?'
Nicole: We, um, saw my parents for Thanksgiving. In Texas.
Jermaine: Texas!? That's quite the drive.
Nicole: Yes, it is.
Jermaine: Just the two of you, huh? No security or nothing?
Nicole: That's right.
Jermaine: Uh huh... Well, I hope yall uh... 'had fun?'
The innuendo was clear in Jermaine's inflection and meddling expression. As Nicole looked around the table at Jackie and Tito's raised eyebrows and giddy smiles awaiting her response, she couldn't help but laugh aloud at the irony. After spending hours in a state of pure ecstasy at the hands of a man, Nicole was now being confronted with rumors of her lover's sexuality. Though she knew Michael's brothers understood the media had no basis for their claims, their eagerness for gossip was entertaining to her. Maybe that's how all sibling relationships are? How bizarre...
Feeling like she'd learned all she could handle for one late night, Nicole rose from the table, pushing in her chair as she spoke. It was time to go back to sleep.
Nicole: Oh yeah, we had a LOT of 'fun' ... So much 'fun'-- Actually, I think I should get back to bed.
With a wink Nicole walked off to the sounds of the boys hollering and cheers-ing to another shot of brandy. She was embarrassed that she'd said anything at all, but the small confession also made Nicole feel powerful and sexy. Though she wasn't normally one to kiss-and-tell in this way, Nicole was a happy woman and was proud to let those around her to know how confident she felt in her relationship with Michael.
Carefully Nicole creaked open Michael's bedroom door. He was still laying just as she'd left him. She peeled off her clothes and crawled back into the space she left, pulling the blanket over them both. Michael reacted to the shifting weight, half awake, but mostly asleep as Nicole snuggled closer.
Michael: Mmhm ... There you are...
Nicole: Hey, Michael.
Michael: You smell like orange juice.
Nicole: Shh, I just got a drink. Go back to sleep.
Michael nodded as she soothed his back, his eyes still closed. Then he shifted a final time, burrowing his face into Nicole's chest. A heavy arm held her stomach, their legs intertwined. She couldn't get up again if she wanted to. Unable to shake the earlier conversation from her mind, Nicole whispered softer in hopes Michael could answer her one lingering question.
Nicole: Michael?
Michael: Mmhm?
Nicole: What does it mean when you call someone a 'fish?'
Michael: Umm... Good swimmer... ?
Nicole: No, you and your brothers... Like a nickname... ?
Michael was quiet again for a moment. Just as Nicole thought he'd fallen back asleep, she heard him giggling softly.
Michael: Beautiful... Sexy girl... You... 'Good Fish.'