With ten minutes to spare, Nicole emerged from her room in a patterned olive green short sleeve sweater tucked into a black circle skirt. Her hair was blow-dried straight for the first time in months. She could hear her parents talking and moving around downstairs as she walked the hall to Michael's room. Knocking rhythmically on the door, she heard no response, then pressed her ear close. Water was running under the sounds of Michael's muffled humming to a classical song on the radio. Nicole knocked again before cracking the door open. She could see Michael across the room standing in the bathroom mirror.
Spotting Nicole in the reflection, Michael waived her in as he pressed a towel to his face and turned the faucet off. He sucked air in through gritted teeth as he grinned in the mirror to admire himself. Michael was wearing creased black slacks with a fresh fitted white t-shirt. His belt was laced but the front button and zipper hung open.
Michael: Wow, you look wonderful!
Michael took her hand and gave her a quick twirl, watching her skirt rise to show her bare thighs. She blushed a little when he ran his fingers through the ends of her thick hair. He'd never seen it straight before.
Nicole: Yeah? My mom always likes when I wear my hair like this...
Michael: Oh yes. You look lovely.
Nicole: Thank you Michael. Now let's get you dressed.
He stretched a black dress shirt over his shoulders as Nicole started fastening the buttons for him. Michael watched her petite hands grazing his chest as he started tucking his shirts in from the back. Countless strangers had helped him dress for countless events and functions over his lifetime. But her small touch, though so simple, suddenly felt so intimate. Her hands slowed as they worked closer towards his belly. Then lower. Suddenly flustered, Michael cleared his throat and pivoted back to the sink to button his pants and pick up a bold golden-colored cardigan he'd left on the countertop. Adjusting the layers in the mirror, he turned back to Nicole and smiled proudly. His arms were open, asking "How do I look?"
Returning the smile, Nicole approached him again to fix the hairs behind his ears. He looked amazing. Turning to the mirror, she was startled by the reflection. Like in a photo, the two sets of eyes watched her, making her realize she'd never seen herself and Michael together like this before. Like a pair. Like a couple. Like a perfect match. Still looking in the mirror, she reached for Michael's hand, pulling him until his arm flexed over her shoulders and she held him there. Michael's beauty was obvious and effortless, but this was the first time she considered if, as half of this couple, someone would ever think the same of her.
Michael: We look good, don't we, girl?
She smiled a little, looking straight into their reflection but didn't speak. He could see the wheels turning and wondered what Nicole was thinking of. He hugged her closer, pressing his nose into the back of her head. Her fingers reached back touching him softly on the cheek.
Michael: You're tense again.
She wondered how he always knew.
Nicole: Yes... But I've realized that the more my brain tries to fight it, the longer I end up standing still. If I had told you about Andrew sooner, who knows where our relationship would be right now.
Michael: That's true, in a way... But you can't worry about things like that. I like where we are now.
Nicole: Me too, Michael.
She closed her eyes as Michael kissed her hair so softly. With a deep breath, she relaxed her tensions away in the warmth of his arms.
Michael: So, are you ready?
Nicole: Yes.
She opened her eyes to see Michael glancing down at his watch and suddenly realized they were talking about two very different things.
Michael: It's almost 5. I really want to make a good impression... Are you sure I look okay?
She turned to him, smoothing his collar as she kissed his cheek.
Nicole: You're perfect.
She grabbed his hand and they bounced down the stairs together, right on time. The table was set beautifully, like something out of a magazine with flowers, glossy plates and food on serving platters. The lights were dim as the sun was starting to set. The house felt much more intimate than it had just an hour ago.
Eric and Janice were already sitting across from each other, sipping wine. As they exchanged pleasantries, Eric filled Nicole, then Michael's glasses with chardonnay. Though he and Janice didn't make a habit of offering their not-yet 21 year-old daughter alcohol, on special occasions, wine seemed acceptable. If they had noticed that she and Laura started stealing from the liquor cabinet at barely 17, they likely would've reevaluated that rule.
Janice: Before we start, I just want to say something...
Nicole froze, holding her breath, preparing to be chastised again.
Janice: Michael... I owe you an apology for the way I spoke to you yesterday evening. I was very out of line. I've watched my daughter make a few misguided decisions in her young life and her father and I have become very protective. Maybe too protective. When I see her with a man as... exposed and experienced as yourself, I got very fearful and that was unfair to you. I-- um, I did a little research on you today, and I must admit, you seem like a very good, hardworking young man. I was very impressed! So, I sincerely apologize.
Michael was shocked. She looked him in the eye for every word and the apology felt incredibly genuine. He wasn't sure how to react so he stared blankly at her. Janice touched him very carefully on the arm.
Janice: Do you accept my apology, Michael?
Michael: Of course, yes! Thank you, Mrs. Dillard.
Janice: You're welcome. I'm glad you're here with us tonight and I hope you and I can start over.
He just nodded silently, following her eyes as she turned towards Nicole. Pale as a ghost, Nicole was already on the verge of tears. Janice reached for her daughter's hand as she felt pressure building up in her own eyes too.
It was hard being the mother to a young woman so much like yourself. Like Nicole, Janice was a loner growing up, always knowing what she wanted from her life, but never quite fitting in with her peers. Often feeling that she belonged with an older crowd, Janice grew up fast. Too fast. And when she found herself in over her head as a teenager, Janice didn't have her parents-- or anyone else-- left by her side. She spent many years feeling alone and abandoned until she met Eric. His family, especially his mother, welcomed her with open arms and no questions asked. The day Janice learned they were expecting a baby girl, she vowed to make sure her child would always feel loved the way the Dillard's loved her. The way all children should be loved. Last night, Janice realized she'd broken that promise.
Janice: Nicole--
Nicole: Mom, you don't have to--
Janice: Sweetheart, please... I am so, so sorry. I was so awful to you and you don't deserve that, especially not from me. I was upset and afraid and-- We love you, Nicole. And we've missed you so much. It's like a piece of our hearts has run across the country and came back all grown up. I just wished I had more time...
Nicole squeezed her mother's hand. A little paler, with thinner flesh and a shimmering wedding band, she couldn't remember the last time they'd held each other in this way. Nicole acknowledged the fault she played in her mother's anger last night. Eric and Janice were blindsided by Michael's presence, and that was unfair. But both women already knew this. And in that way that maybe only a mother and daughter could understand, they agreed the words were unnecessary. Instead they embraced, standing to hold each other tightly as they swayed together.
Janice: I'm so sorry. You know, your father and I are so very proud of you.
Nicole: I know, Mom. And I'm sorry too.
Michael sat there, silently feeling out of place, but grateful he had the opportunity to be a witness to the resolution, not just the fight. It was all any child wanted from their parents, wasn't it? To feel loved and accepted. And know that you've made them proud. As a son, that was still all he wanted. Was this what families are supposed to do? When Jacksons betrayed each other they held grudges and plotted revenge... or called Mother to have the offender force an apology. He couldn't think of the last time he'd cried with one of his brothers, much less Joseph. Reaching for his glass, Michael took a long sip. Soon the women returned to their seats dabbing their eyes and smiling peacefully. Then Janice chuckled, taking a look around the table as all waited for her queue.
Janice: Well! Now that we've gotten that out of the way, would you like to do the toast, Eric?
Eric: It would be an honor!
Eric lifted his glass and paused until the rest of the table mirrored.
Eric: Tonight, we raise our glasses to family, for this is what we are most thankful for. We are grateful for our happiness, good health and the love that we have always been blessed with. We are especially thankful that our beautiful daughter has chosen to come home and spend this holiday with us, and moreso, we are thankful that she has found a friend to share her heart and this home. Michael, for as long as you are friends with our daughter, our door is open and you are family here.... Cheers!
They all said "cheers" as their glasses clinked together. At that moment, it was like a weight had been lifted at the table. All the bad feelings from yesterday had disappeared. The sadness and fear, frustrations and confusions were replaced with joy and lighthearted laughter. The food was passed, wine was poured and smiles were shared. Eric was thrilled to finally tell all his sweet stories of Nicole as a child to someone for the first time, while Janice ran off to find her favorite photo album to gush over. Though Nicole would blush and roll her eyes, Michael's laughter would encourage him till the end.
Michael was shy, of course, but was engaged and listened intently. Nicole's parents were eager to learn more about him, his family, his interests and his career. Quite the storyteller himself, Michael kept it light, knowing to share only the positive memories of being a child entertainer. The excitement of auditioning for Motown and signing their first deal. The amazement when he moved out to California and met, then befriended, his idols. He recounted the many nerve-wracking live performances, like American Bandstand and Ed Sullivan, that made impact on his career. Then, after a job well done, the boys would wake up to a kitchen full of fresh donuts as a reward from Joseph.
There was no longer a question as to the status of Michael and Nicole's relationship. They gushed over each other, and Eric and Janice took note. Michael proudly proclaimed how intelligent and witty Nicole was, referencing the late night interaction with their friend Trevor, and how great Nicole was at diffusing the situation. Of course leaving a handful of details out... He bragged that it seemed she was good at nearly everything, school, cooking, keeping her apartment perfectly clean-- but she was a terrible dancer. Nicole retaliated making everyone laugh, "We can't all be on SoulTrain, Michael Jackson!" Then immediately boasted at what a skillful performer Michael was the night she saw him on stage. Though unable to play any instruments, it was amazing the way he could mimic the sounds with his mouth just after listening. They were all impressed when he beatboxed the melody of "Don't Stop til You get Enough" right there at the table. He then went straight into singing the falsetto of the second verse, "Touch me, and I feel on fire, Ain't nothing like a love's desire," laughing when he saw Nicole blush, realizing the lyrics weren't the most appropriate for the table. But Eric and Janice didn't seem to mind, they both clapped and loved it.
It was after 7:30 when Janice asked Nicole to help her clear the dishes so they could finally serve dessert. Time had flown by. Collecting the plates and disappearing around the corner to the kitchen, Michael and Eric were left alone.
Eric: You guys really did a great job with dinner.
Michael: Thank you, but I didn't do much. Nicole is a great cook. Laura and I were just being silly.
Eric: Oh, yes. That girl is a goof.
Michael: She's very playful. Much different from Nicole in that way.
Eric: Mmhm. But I hope you two got along alright?
Michael: Sure, we had a great time!
Eric: That's good. Because if Laura didn't like you, oh boy-- You'd be on the next bus back to Motown!
Eric's laughter was hearty, but his words were serious.
Michael: Gee, I think you're right! They are very close. Closer than I am with my brothers even.
Eric: Do you believe in soulmates, Michael?
Pausing, Michael considered the question and wondered the intention.
Michael: Um, I'm not really sure, Sir.
Eric: If you hang out with the two of them a little longer, you'll have no doubt. It's like they're twins separated at birth. It's almost spiritual what they have. Girls these days just go through so much... More than I ever did at that age, that's for sure. But I'm sure you've probably had it rough too though, huh? They really lucked out finding each other so young. The world can be so cruel. It'll chew you up and spit you out. And one day, it'll feel as if everyone on the planet has turned their back on you. If you live long enough it'll happen to us all... But when that day comes, make sure you're surrounding yourself with people who truly love and care for you. And if I can give you a little advice-- If you don't already have one, go out and find you a 'Laura.' Because that'll be the only way you get through it.
~*~*~
In the kitchen, Nicole had just pulled the warm apple pie from the oven while Janice laid out clean dessert plates.
Nicole: So...
Janice: So?
Nicole: Mom... What do you think?
Janice: About what, Honey?
Nicole: Mo-ooom!
Janice smirked as she teased her daughter. Clearly Nicole wanted to know her opinion of Michael, and honestly, she liked him a lot. He seemed like a great match for Nicole. Of course the celebrity aspect was concerning. There would be issues he and Nicole would face that Janice couldn't begin to imagine, but Michael seemed so humble and well-adjusted. She told herself it would make no difference how many households knew his name or how many times he was on television, the young man sitting at her table was modest and perfectly respectable.
Janice: I think he's very nice. Charming and very bright--
Nicole squealed as she hugged her mother tight around the waist, cutting her words mid sentence. Janice loved that her daughter was happy, but it was scary to see her excited about a man. For Janice, the physical act of sex was never really the concern. Not anymore. Nicole was grown and could do whatever she wished with her body. Though Nicole rarely engaged in conversations about relationships with her mother, especially after her rape, Janice was confident that sex was not a decision she would take lightly. When she felt ready, Nicole would be cautious and only engage with partners who would cherish and respect her physically.
No, after being witness to the way her daughter eye'd that boy, Janice worried far more for Nicole's heart.
Janice: Okay-- Calm down now. He seems like a very nice person, but his life is very complicated, isn't it? Is this what you want?
Nicole: Sure. Why not?
Janice: He has a lot of priorities and dreams--
Nicole: Yeah, so do I.
Janice: Yes, but doesn't that seem awfully stressful? He travels all over the world. He's so busy, my goodness! I can't imagine how difficult it would be to maintain a household or--
Nicole: Household!? Mom, what are you talking about?
Janice: Well you do want to get married, don't you?
Nicole: Geez, I don't know... One day... But we're still getting to know each other. We haven't even talked about that stuff yet.
Janice: Oh... Well Michael is a little older than you. Surely he's ready to find a wife?
On second thought, maybe they had discussed it? Michael made no secret that he wanted a big family with lots of children. Most of his brothers were already married, maybe he was hoping to be next? As Janice sliced and plated the pie, Nicole topped each with a generous scoop of vanilla bean ice cream.
Janice: Though I'd hate for you to become a housewife and pass on the journalism career you always dreamed of!
Nicole: Mom, I'm still going to be a writer. We're just having fun right now.
Janice: 'Fun?'
Nicole: Yes. We get along really well.
Nicole smirked as she thought of the game earlier, the way they laughed when Studio 54 came up. A little secret only she and Michael shared. Janice watched the smile form over her daughter's lips and grew suspicious. She suddenly remembered Laura's poorly-timed joke as they passed each other at the door that afternoon.
Janice: I was young once too, you know? It's easy to get lost in a moment-- But raising a baby is a great deal of work!
Nicole: What!?--
Nicole jumped with a flustered shriek, dropping the ice cream scoop to the floor. Her face was flush as she picked it up and threw it to the sink. Killing Laura was definitely going to be at the top of her priority list now!
Nicole: Mom! God, we haven't even-- Just-- Oh my God, nevermind!
Janice: Just be careful!
Nicole took a deep breath as she grabbed two plates and led her mom out of the kitchen and back into the dining room, hoping the boys wouldn't notice that her cheeks were still beet red. The two couples ate dessert, still chatting, but much slower now. Everyone was tired and it was time for bed. Janice and Eric volunteered to clean the kitchen, but it would have to wait until the morning. The parents said good night, and warning of the long drive looming, "don't stay up too late." Michael and Nicole agreed, grateful to finally be alone at the table.
They sat there quietly smiling for a long minute, staring plainly at each other, proud to have survived this busy day.
Michael: Let's go for a walk.