~ ~ ~ ~ SAM'S POV ~ ~ ~ ~
After the incident at the bar Megan and I had invested in the proper kind of protection, and now I not only had a can of mace but also a pocket knife, which made me feel a lot safer. I hadn't seen the man since that night, which was over a week ago, allowing me to battle the paranoia I had of seeing him again. I didn't want to relive that night, ever, but maybe he had just been some creep from out of town trying to pick up girls.
And he had tried to pick me.
I shuddered as I checked my phone, attempting to get his face out of my head but now it just seemed impossible. Something deep inside me wouldn't let go of his dark features, and somewhere deeper inside me I wanted to say I recognized him. I didn't know why I thought that because the harder I thought about him the more confused I got, simply because nothing jogged my memory when it came to him.
Was it possible that I did know him?
I shook the thought out of my head as Megan's voice entered my ears, pulling me out of my daydream. I attempted to forget as I looked at her, seeing her completely immersed in her lesson as she slowly glanced at me.
I smiled up at her while she lectured, gaining me a shy smile as she attempted to pull her eyes away from me without causing suspicion. I was convinced that I fell a little harder every day when it came to Megan, and knowing that I only had two more days of senior year was like seeing the light at the end of the tunnel but having to wait to reach the end.
I was almost there.
There was nothing I wanted more than to get the hell out of here but I knew these last few days were going to drag. I could see the freedom because it was so close, and immediately I realized I was actually about to graduate high school.
If you asked anyone a year ago I could've been voted "most-likely to be a drop out", but look at me now.
I was proud of myself, and I had a legit reason to be considering when I started here in August I'm pretty sure I had a negative GPA. Now I was passing with A's and B's and I had Megan to thank for that.
Then the bell rang, dismissing the class as everyone started packing up and getting up to leave. I wanted to hang around just for a few more minutes considering I only had two more days with Megan as my teacher.
And I had to admit, I was actually going to kind of miss it.
Megan gently closed the door behind her as the last of her students made it out of the classroom, looking at me and sighing, "Two more days Sam, then I won't be your teacher anymore."
I shrugged," Technically you'll be my teacher till I graduate, which is a little over a week from now."
She shoved me slightly, smiling, "You're such a smart ass."
"I get it from my history teacher."
I watched Megan's blue eyes look me up and down, and then one of her hands rested on my shoulder, "How are you feeling... you know, about the whole situation from Jinx?"
I shrugged then, nodding, "I'm fine... it's getting better."
She smiled sadly, "I hate the fact that I can't rip his balls off for doing that to you."
I moved in closer to her, smiling in humor at her response, "It's not your fault."
Her hands tangled themselves in my hair, pulling me into her as I rested my head on her chest. I could hear her heart, which was something that always amazed me because it never slowed down when we were together.
I smiled, pulling back, "I'm going to ace your final."
She nodded, "I believe you can."
I felt my phone buzz in my pocket, half expecting it to be Blair as I pulled it out but instead it read Becca on the front. I knew Megan had seen it but there was no going back, and knowing Becca had texted me was weird because we never really did that.
Megan sighed, "You and Becca text?"
I shook my head, "Not really..."
I opened the text, not knowing what the hell Becca could want but I figured opening it in front of Megan would ease her mind a little bit.
Becca, "Let's go get lunch, I'm starving. ;)"
I analyzed the text, and I knew Megan had too considering she made a noise of disproval. I looked up at her, "Would you mind if I went eat...?"
Megan's blue eyes seemed to darken a little bit as she shrugged, "See you tomorrow then?"
I shook my head, wondering why all of a sudden she had changed into a completely different person. "I wasn't gonna leave right now..."
She pointed to my phone and smiled sarcastically, "You have an opportunity to hang out with one of your friends."
I knew Megan wasn't the psycho type of girlfriend to ban me from doing anything with any other girl for the rest of my life. I knew she trusted me, but I knew she didn't trust other girls, which is why me and Becca's relationship scared her. She knew Becca liked me, but she knew I didn't like Becca like that, so she had conflicting feelings about the whole situation.
I walked over to her as she continued sitting at her desk, attempting to look as if she didn't care Becca had texted me. I grabbed her face in my hands and smiled, "Megan, it's just lunch."
She rolled her eyes, "I know... but I still get a weird feeling..."
I kissed her lips then, attempting to reassure her the best I could. There was no one I wanted other than Megan, and I wanted her to know that. Becca was just a friend to me, nothing more. Besides, why would I throw a diamond away for a rock?
There was no comparison between Becca and Megan.
I pulled away, seeing her worried eyes soften a bit. I smiled, "Do you trust me?"
She sighed, "You know I do."
I smiled harder, "It's lunch, that's it. I promise I'll come over after work and reassure you all night if I have to."
I could see her still battling with something but if we wanted to grow we needed things like this. We needed to trust each other, and she had plenty of reasons not to trust me, but that was my past and I wasn't changing for the worst. I was going to prove to her that there was absolutely no one else occupying my mind, but it would take time.
She nodded, "Go, I'll see you tonight."
She smiled softly, causing me to too. I mumbled, "You're who I want Megan, no one else."
I watched her blush lightly as I kissed her lips once more, turning to leave and texting Becca back.
Me, "Where are we meeting?"
~ ~ ~ ~
"I can't believe senior year is two days away from ending."
I looked at Becca who was picking at what was left of her pasta, allowing me to take in the fact that she was right. I had been thinking about it since the beginning of this week and now it was almost over.
I couldn't be more excited.
I nodded, "I'm so ready to get out of that hell hole."
She laughed, "Oh come on, it wasn't that bad was it?"
I looked at her, nodding my head, "It was, trust me."
Her light eyes continued to take me in as she leaned her head on her arm, questioning, "You failed your sophomore year?"
I nodded, figuring she would ask me something like that considering Emma had known and they were pretty close. I responded, "Yea, I did."
"What happened?"
It was weird to be talking about something like this with Becca considering I didn't really know her, but I felt oddly comfortable with her. I figured it was because we were so alike in many ways, and she was a pretty cool person to talk to. I didn't feel haunt of uncomfortable, and I think that had more to do with Megan making me come to terms with my past rather than being comfortable with the person.
I believed I was maturing as an adult and accepting my failures.
I began, "Uh well, I was into a lot of drugs and shit my sophomore year so... it kind of got in the way."
"You're not into that anymore?"
I shook my head, "Five months clean now..."
She showed off her white smile as she nodded, "That's pretty awesome."
I held my hands up, "Now that doesn't include alcohol, just the weed and cigarettes."
"Why would you ever give up alcohol?"
I laughed, knowing I would probably never ever quit drinking but that was okay. It was okay to drink socially and for fun as long as you kept it under control. I used to not have it under control, which could've killed me now that I thought about it.
I shook my head, "But yea, I used to be in a lot of deep shit... but now I'm about to graduate."
Becca leaned on the table and nodded, "Congratulations, want dessert?"
The sarcasm in her voice was obvious but it made me laugh, and the waitress put the check on the counter. Becca went to grab it but I snatched the ticket before she could. I spoke, "I'll pay, besides, you're probably already broke as fuck."
I gave the waitress the money and heard Becca respond, "Screw you, I'm not broke. I just don't carry around rolls of twenties like you."
I laughed, "I don't carry around rolls of twenties."
She pointed to my hand which held only a portion of what I had made last weekend at work, "Really, so you just always have a hundred dollars in your back pocket?"
I smiled, "It's just a hundred."
She threw her hands up, "Just a hundred! You should hear yourself. Hey, think you can get me a bartending job at Jinx? I would like to be a millionaire by the time I'm twenty-five."
I shook my head as I laughed, "You'd love working at Jinx, so many hot lesbians coming in and flirting with you. You'd be in Heaven."
Becca leaned on the table and smirked, "I bet that's the real reason you started working there."
I shrugged, knowing it had been one of the main reasons back then but now it was the furthest thing from my mind. I continued, "Well, it was... but now it's just old news."
"Does that mean you're tied down or something?"
I looked up at her, wishing I could tell her the truth but knowing I couldn't. I wasn't tied down, and I hated saying it like that because it wasn't the fact that I didn't have freedom, I just wanted to commit to one person.
But telling Becca that was not a good idea.
I shrugged "No, I'm not tied down but... it just gets old I guess."
I could see Becca studying me with her curious eyes, probably wondering when I had changed so much. We hadn't hung out since the softball days but I had really been wild at the beginning of the year.
Now I was talking about how I no longer picked up women at the bar I now worked at.
She sighed, "You seem so different since I first met you."
I nodded, "I am."
I could see Becca thinking something but I had no idea what it could be so I decided to dismiss myself. I stood, "Well, it was nice having lunch with you."
She smiled, walking side by side with me as we walked into the parking lot. She mumbled, "Glad you decided to pay because I'm on my last ounce of Christmas money."
I looked at her and laughed, wondering why I hadn't become friends with Becca a long time ago. She was one of the coolest people I had met, and she was extremely fun to hang out with.
As I walked through the parking lot with Becca besides me I could feel eyes on my back, which was a little weird because I was pretty sure we were the only ones in the parking lot. I glanced around, not being able to settle the thoughts of the man I had encountered at Jinx all those nights ago.
Ever since then I had bad feelings whenever I went anywhere alone.
I wanted to blame it on paranoia because it was the only logical explanation as to why I was acting so strange, but a part of me knew that something weird was going on. The only reason I wasn't making a big deal out of it was because I hadn't seen the man in weeks, giving me absolutely no proof that he was still following me.
So blaming paranoia was better than admitting my thoughts to someone only to have them call me crazy.
Then as we approached my car Becca's voice pulled me out of my thoughts, "Please take me for a ride in your car."
I looked at her, "You sure? I might scare the shit out of you."
She rolled her eyes, "Please, I just want to see how fast it can go."
I looked at her and shrugged, "Get in."
She yipped in excitement as I got into my seat, cranking my car alive as I backed out of the parking lot. I turned on my radio as I looked at Becca, "You sure you're ready for this?"
She rolled her eyes, "Sam, I'm not scared. I trust you."
Something about the way she said that sounded a little more than friendly but I decided to ignore it. I knew Becca liked me, I just wasn't going to make her think I liked her too because I didn't. I mean yea, she was pretty and cool but she didn't make me feel what Megan made me feel, and that was the difference.
I sped off down the road, switching gears as I looked at Becca who had rolled her window down. She wasn't afraid, and watching her put her hand out the window made me smile. She cranked up the radio as she spoke, "How fast are you going!?"
I responded loudly, "Almost ninety!"
"Holy shit, try and hit one-hundred!"
The road was straight and long and I knew I could hit one-hundred, which was something I rarely did but I pushed forward. Eventually my speedometer confirmed I had hit three digits as I let off the gas, knowing I needed to slow it down before I got caught.
Becca looked at me, "Holy shit that was the coolest thing I've ever experienced."
I laughed sarcastically, "You have a boring life then."
She shoved me, "Shut up, not all of us are lucky enough to have a fast car and freedom like you."
I looked at my speedometer which read seventy-five now even though the speed limit on this road was fifty. I figured there wouldn't be any cops on this road at this time, but that was until I looked in my rearview and saw flashing blue lights.
I cursed, "Shit, the cops."
Becca looked behind us and spoke, "Oh shit, that's bad."
I pulled over reluctantly, praying that I could get myself out of this ticket. I knew it would be tough but I had done it before, but I had been going really fast and I didn't know when they had clocked me.
They could've clocked me at a hundred for all I knew.
I stayed in my car and rolled my window down, seeing the man walking up to my car. I felt regret doing this but now I had to face the consequences, I was just hoping it wasn't jail time.
Out of all the shitty things I had done I hadn't imagined me going to jail over speeding.
The officer leaned on my window and looked at me, "Sam, really?"
I recognized the cop and my hopes to get this ticket removed were heightened, and maybe I could keep it off of my record.
I smiled, "Dan, hey! How are the kids?"
He shook his head, "Sam, what the hell were you doing going eighty in a fifty."
I felt my smile tighten as I sighed, "Um well, see what happened was..."
"I have to give you a ticket Sam I've let you off of too many, and you were doing thirty over."
I felt my heart drop a little at his words, and I knew Becca was watching me from the passenger seat. I continued, "I'll pay it, but what can I do to keep it off of my record."
He sighed, rubbing his brow, "Sam, I won't make you go to court but get Shawn to talk to the Chief, he's good friends with him. But your tickets gonna be over four-hundred."
I grimaced, wishing I didn't have to waste almost an entire night's work over a ticket but it was better than having to appear in court. I nodded, "Okay, that's fine with me."
He shook his head, "Look Sam, I know you like going fast and all but maybe it's time to slow down."
Even though the hype of the moment still had me a little shaky his words seemed to hit something inside me. I knew he was referring to me speeding but I took it in a whole new way, which was weird because it really struck a chord within me.
He issued me a ticket and Becca sighed, "I'm sorry I got you a ticket."
I shook my head, "It's not your fault, I should've known better."
I pulled up into the diner parking lot and walked her to her car, still thinking about the ticket I had to pay and how I had to bring it up to Shawn. I didn't want to but I knew I would need to if I wanted to keep it off of my record.
I just didn't want him to ground me again.
Becca looked at me, "I'm sorry."
I shook my head and waved my hand, "Seriously, don't be, it's not a big deal."
"Good thing your pals with the cops, no wonder you haven't gotten arrested yet."
I rolled my eyes and laughed, "Goodbye Becca."
Then before I could turn away I felt her embrace me in a hug, catching me off guard. I never really hugged anyone, but she hugged me anyway and spoke, "I had a good time with you."
I pulled away and nodded, "Same here."
She pointed to my car, "Now go get that ticket fixed."
I laughed, "Wish me luck."
Then I got into my car and watched her back out, allowing me to take witness to the old Ford truck sitting on the far end of the parking lot. I recognized the truck immediately and the visions of the other night poured into my head. The man's strong arms grabbing me, the fear I had, the bile that had risen into my mouth from the excessive fear.
It was that man's truck, but no one was in it.
Had he been here with Becca nad I, watching me from another booth somewhere in the restaurant? Did he work here? Was he watching me right now?
I felt the fear rising up in my chest as I cranked up my car, not looking back at the old Ford as I escaped towards my house.
And no matter how hard I tried I couldn't tear my eyes away from his truck as it disappeared in my rearview mirror.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
"You invited Megan over for dinner?"
Shawn nodded, unloading the groceries he had picked up, "Yea why, did you two have plans or something?"
I felt the speeding ticket in my back pocket and wondered if this was a good time to bring it up. I didn't want to mention it in front of Megan because I knew she would be upset, especially if she knew I had been with Becca.
It's not like I wanted to hide it from her but... okay maybe yes I did.
But if I brought it up now Shawn would most likely be upset and show it during dinner, causing Megan to question me and it coming up inevitably. I just wasn't sure what exactly to do, but I knew if Megan found out she would trust me a little less, which would result in her being more insecure with me hanging around with other people, including Becca.
I decided not to tell Shawn yet, and maybe I could just wait till after Megan left to break the news. I wanted to tell him ASAP but maybe waiting to tell him was for the best, I was just hoping he didn't get to crazy on me.
Eventually Megan was knocking at the door as I rushed to it to greet her, seeing her standing there looking at me made me want to break in guilt already. I hated lying to her, but I technically wasn't lying to her I was just hiding the fact that I had been racing down a street at eighty miles an hour alongside Becca.
Btu she hadn't asked me if that happened, so I wasn't lying, I just wasn't telling her.
Megan smiled, "Hey how was lunch?"
I smiled, trying my best not to provoke her to look further into my weird actions, "Pretty cool, we just talked about graduation and stuff."
Megan nodded, seeming to relax a bit at that, "She didn't try and kiss you did she?"
I rolled my eyes and shook my head "No," but she did hug me...
I pushed the weird thought out of my head as I followed her into the kitchen, seeing Shawn over the stove. Megan smiled, "Thank God you invited me over because I had absolutely nothing to eat at my house."
Shawn turned and smiled, "Just figured we could catch up since Tampa, I haven't seen either of you that much since."
Megan smiled, "Life tends to get in the way."
Shawn looked at me, "You have work tonight at Jinx right? It's ladies night."
I nodded, attempting to seem calm and collected even though I was drowning in my own thoughts. I spoke, "Yea, I don't have to be there till eight-thirty."
"Good, so you can enjoy dinner."
We fixed our plates and began eating, talking about school and work and nothing real significant. I was trying to keep the subject off of this afternoon as much as I could considering I was really bad at lying under Megan's glare. I knew she could tell, and so could Shawn.
I didn't want Megan to not trust me but the fact that I wasn't telling her the truth could really result in just that. If she found out without me telling her I knew she would doubt me, which was something I really didn't want, but it really didn't feel like the right time to tell her. I just didn't want her to think I had done it because of Becca, even though I kind of did.
I was so fucked man.
Dinner ended and I offered to do the dishes considering I didn't want to engage in anymore conversation between Shawn and Megan. I needed to talk to Shawn about the ticket but Megan was lingering, and for once I actually wanted her to leave jut for a few minutes so I could tell him, but I knew she was hanging around because of me.
I scrubbed the pot in the sink as I heard Shawn behind me, "What's this?"
I turned, seeing him pick up a slip of yellow paper that was folded up and lying on the ground. I felt my heart drop at the sight, knowing it was my ticket and that it must've slipped out of my pocket when I got up from the table.
I sighed, "It's a-"
"Speeding ticket! Sam you were doing eighty in a fucking fifty!"
I dropped the pot and dried my hands quickly, feeling Megan's eyes on me but I refused to look at her. I sighed, "It's not as bad as it seems..."
"Seriously Sam, you were doing thirty over the limit. You're gonna have to appear in court."
I continued defending myself, "Shawn, it was Dan that gave me a ticket, he told me to get you to talk to the Chief to keep it off my record. There's no worries."
He shook his head, "Except for the fact that I have to get a ticket fixed for you. You know this is gonna cost like, four hundred dollars."
I nodded, "Look, paying it is no problem, I just need you to talk to the Chief."
He groaned, shaking his head, "I'll call him tomorrow. Sam you better chill out with that car before you wreck and kill yourself."
He began finishing the dishes as I looked at Megan, who seemed to be pretty pissed over the situation too. She spoke firmly, "Let's talk, outside."
I felt my stomach tighten in fear as I followed her outside into the hot summer night. I knew she was mad at me but I didn't want to tell her I had been with Becca. Maybe I could play it off without having to tell her that part happened, I just hated thinking about lying to her.
She questioned, "You were with Becca weren't you?"
I looked at her dumbfounded, hesitating in answering her question which caused her to roll her eyes. She shook her head, "Sam were you really not going to tell me?"
I could hear disappointment in her tone, making me wish I would've done this all differently. I didn't want to make her upset, and now she was even more upset over the fact that I had kept it from her rather than the fact I had gotten the ticket in the first place.
I shook my head, "I was going to tell you Megan..."
"But when were you going to tell me? And were you going to mention that you were with Becca when it happened? You said you two were going eat lunch and you come home with a speeding ticket..."
I groaned, "Megan it's not that I didn't want to tell you, I just didn't want you upset with me..."
"Sam keeping shit from me is not how you gain trust, it's how you lose it."
I grabbed her hands, "Megan, it won't happen again. I just didn't want you to think bad about me hanging out with Becca, the ticket was my fault."
She shook her head, "Sam... I trust you but things like this make me question things about us, and I really hate that."
I protested, "Don't question us, please."
She nodded, "I'll see you tomorrow."
I wanted to ask her if she still wanted me to come over but figured it was probably a bad idea. I knew she was upset with me, and I knew I should give her time to process everything. I didn't want to be overbearing, and I needed her to understand it was an accident and that it wouldn't happen again.
So giving her space tonight seemed right.
I nodded, "Okay."
"Thank your brother for me."
I nodded as she turned on her heels and walked to her car, leaving me standing at the door confused and upset that I had disappointed her.
Just like I had predicted would happen eventually.