A long dark night turned into a beautiful dazzling morning, but he didn't feel this change. The annoying rattling of beetles turned into melodious chirping of birds and loud hollerings of morning hawkers, but he couldn't listen to anything. Just laying quietly on his side, he had dwelled over almost every kind of situation that Naina could explain in reply to his worries, but nothing could satisfy him. Very impatiently and restlessly, he looked at her once again, but unknown to all the turmoils of his heart, she was sleeping peacefully. Her face had the calming peace, her lips had a soothing smile but nothing seemed alluring to him this time. He was very restlessly waiting for her to open her eyes.
That night was long for him but seemed it was not the same for her. She slept late fighting her craving, then got up midnight for satisfying that crave and now sleeping peacefully but taking all his peace with just some words.
Once again he looked her restlessly and once again his eyes returned back disappointed. Though it seemed nothing serious in those few words of her and he too tried logically, tried to calm himself, tried to console himself but for some unknown unseen reason, his heart was trembling badly every time he recalled those words. He had convinced himself that there was no reason to worry about but still wanted to hear these words from her just once.
"Please Naina... Uth jao... Ab toh...", helplessly he muttered but caressed her hairs softly.
Like a sharp gleam of sun flickering from the thick clouds, she stirred and her eyelashes quivered. With a sigh, he hastily reached to her and about to ask it as a first of the morning, but she smiled and mumbled a good morning. The calm on her face, sweet smile on rosy pink lips, and serene peace in eyes; he felt his courage failing him. He didn't want to argue or anything that could disturb her but hugged her tightly.
Naina took a back on his tight grip. Since when he got to know about her pregnancy, he was extremely soft on her, and now suddenly this grasp. She immediately hold him, rubbed his back, and asked, "kya hua hai Sameer... Sab... Sab thik hai naa..."
"Meri chhodo... Tum btao... Tum... Tum thik ho na... Naina, tum... Tum mujhse kuch chhupa to nhi rahi... Tum thik ho naa... Sab thik hai naa... Hamara baby... Naina...", he restlessly asked.
Naina jerked on his sudden anxiety and looked him deeply. She softly cupped her palms over his cheeks and asked, "kya hua hai Sameer... Mai toh thik hu bilkul.. dekho... Lekin tum itna disturb q ho... Koi bura sapna dekha kya..."
"Nhi sapna nhi... Wo tumne... Tumne raat ko kha naa ki mai bhut acha papa banunga aur mummy bhi... Mummy q Naina... Q kha tumne aisa... Bolo... Q bola...", he was now more perturbed as his angel touched him, but that soothing calmness couldn't calm him and this grew his anxiety more.
"Shhhh... Shant ho jao Sameer... baat suno meri...", she softly tried to calm him.
"Nhi... Pehle tum bolo ki tum thik ho... Bolo ki sab thik hai... Bolo ki kuch galat nhi ho rha...",he insisted like a stubborn baby.
"Kuch galat nhi hai Sameer... Sab kuch bilkul waisa hi hai jaisa har subah hota hai... Dekho to... Dekho to...",she took a moment to reply and thought something before replying.
As she said that everything was fine, he was fine now. He left her, heaved some deep breaths and said kissing her forehead,"sab thik hi rakhna.... "
Naina nodded with a soft smile and got up to freshen up and Sameer got up and left to bring nuts and special glucose water for her.
He smiled, infact smiling all way peacefully thinking that everything was fine. His Naina was healthy and his nutty too. But in haste, did he miss something... Did naina reply his questions honestly... Or did she actually reply his questions at all...
Naina sighed, washed her face in washbasin and looked at her image in mirror. Her eyes reflected pain, she bit her lips and a tremor shook her heart. "Kaise btau tumhe Sameer... Maa ne kha tha ki tumhe prepare karu pr kaise... Bhagwanji please aap hi help kar do...".
She shivered thinking of his reactions when he actually came to know about everything. She sighed, frightened of that moment, but deep down knew that that time had to come. She washed her face and took deep breaths to calm herself and got out of the washroom. Meanwhile Sameer too came with her pre breakfast. She looked at him deeply; his sharp features, soft expressions and the serene smile. "Mai aisa kaise karungi maa... Kaise ye smile chheen paungi...",once again she fell into turmoils, her eyes filled with mist and heart lurched only with the imagination of that moment.
Naina heaved some deep breaths and tried to smile, but it was more difficult to pretend a smile than holding a sob back. However, she was sad.. somewhere the gloomy start of day his extreme reaction pushed her into a deep pit of thoughts. She somehow calmed herself and munched on the cookies and nuts.
Sameer noticed her quiet demeanor and thought to ask, but then saw her calm and eating properly, confused it with a general mood swing and talked anonymously to cheer her more.
********************************
Looks like time was running differently for the couple. At one side where Sameer couldn't wait to see his little one, time was passing like a slow moving tortoise, but just opposite of this Naina was so dreadful of upcomings that the time was running like blink of eyes for her.
However; days were passing on its natural speed. But sometimes with crazy excitement and sometimes with a normal flow. Some days were full of her mood swings, shouts and strange cravings, like one day she demanded to eat alu paratha with sambhar and other day a gulab jamun with chilly paneer. Though Sameer was vowed to satisfy her every craving, but somewhere now it was confusing him.
Finally on one fine morning, he got very agitated when she asked for jalebi and ketchup. He was confused and now a little concerned too. He looked at her and asked slowly a bit apprehensive of her shouting,"Naina... Sirf itna bta do ki ye sab temporary hai naa... Hamara baby to ye sab nhi khayega naa..."
Naina narrowed her eyes and looked deeply to him before bursting in a peal of laughter. Seeing her laughing that much Sameer made a pout but then himself laughed with her.
Well, either this strange combinations of food or her jumping moods sessions.. time was really beautiful. And in all this they themselves couldn't know when 17 weeks passed and time for another check-up came. This time it was for another scan and he was very excited. And as an addition to his happiness vishakha too came that week surprisingly with Vivek too accompanied her this time. Though ideally it should be a cheerful moment but they both were not only extremely silent but a bit distracted too, specially Vivek. As Sameer was too caught up in his office and also lost in hia bubble of happiness, he couldn't notice their lost looks but he was worried about Naina these days. She seemed a little sad inspite of his all the efforts of keeping her happy and more fatigue and tired too. He couldn't decide that this was normal or not, but mentally noted it to ask to doctor this week.
**********************************
"Sameerji... Aap bahar jaiye, mujhe kuch aur tests karne hai...",as the doctor asked him, a little hesitantly he walked out of scanning room.
As they were in doctor's clinic for routine check-up and scanning, he squealed listening the heartbeats of baby and seeing his small nutty grown up a bit. Everything was fine until doctor asked him to go out, he frowned and about to ask, but then decided to wait outside for details.
While in room, doctor hold Naina's hand gently and said slowly,"Naina.. you know naa ki hamare pass jyada waqt nhi hai... Sameer ko sab btana padega... Tumhe bhut jyada rest ki jarurat hai... And ye karna hi hoga..."
"Lekin doctor.. sameer ye sab...", Naina's dilemmas had no end.
"Nhi Naina... Now no more time left... Only a week... Agar is week me tumne nhi kha to mujhe btana padega... I can't take risk with you and your baby...", doctor said like giving her an ultimatum and it scared her more.
Well, if she was scared, then he was no less. And as soon as they came in the check-up room, he sprang up from his chair and asked anxiously,"Kya hua doctor... Kaise test kiye hai aapne... Sab thik hai naa... Ajkal Naina ko bhut weakness si rehti hai aur thakan bhi... Aisa q ho rha hai... Sabko hota hai kya..."
"Relax Mr. Maheshwari...", doctor smiled gently on his exsepration and said,"Don't worry about her fatigue too much... It can be for various reasons... Abhi jo tests kiye hai ek baar uske reports aa jaye, fr dekhte hai... "
"Doctor, koi chinta ki baat to nhi hai naa...",he felt his heart thudding hard.
"Well.. to be very honest, ho bhi sakti hai... But I think ki abhi kuch bhi presume mat kijiye and let's wait for the reports... Okay..",she smiled gently but tried to make him ready too.
Sameer wanted to ask some more, but his words seemed died in his mouth only and his heart sank in pain. Meanwhile, doctor scribed something on the white paper and said giving that to Sameer," Sameerji.. jab tak reports nhi aati, yhi medicines continue karenge and Naina...",after giving him the prescription she turned to Naina and said to her,"Naina, I strictly recommend you.. infact requesting you.. please take care of yourself... Please, jo bhi maine kha hai yaad rakhna... ",Her gentle professional tone turned into a bit meaningful in last.
Sameer suspiciously looked at the exchange of silent conversation and thought to ask Naina later. As for now he had to ask something important to doctor,"kya request doctor... Aap mujhe btaiye... I promise mai sab karunga... Mai Naina ko koi taklif nhi hone dunga... Aap kahiye toh..."
Doctor thought for a moment completely awed on his concern and then replied softly,"Sameerji... For now, I will only say ki please Naina ka bhut khyal rakhiye aur apna bhi... Bas himmat bnaye rakhiyega..."
"Himmat... Doctor kuch...", he was hell worried now. His heart was thumping badly. And conscience was whispering something in his ears that he never wanted to listen.
"Sameer... Chale...",his words stopped in between as Naina interrupted and asked him to leave now.
"Lekin Naina...", perhaps for the first time he didn't want to listen Naina and objected in very moment.
Sameer turned to doctor to ask her again, but she only passed a soft smile as if waiting for their leave and even press the table bell for next patient. For a moment, Sameer couldn't understand what to do, and in that one moment Naina hold his hand and got up to leave. Sameer looked at her in dilemma, still reluctant to leave, but Naina had stood up, waiting for him. With a shaky deep breath he too got up and leave.
********************************
"Sameer... Kya hua... Kya kha doctor ne... Sab thik hai naa.. Naina... Naina thik hai naa...",as soon as they stepped in the house, much to his shock, vivek rushed to them and asked restlessly. Vishakha too came anxiously, but before she could, Vivek asked already, so she waited patiently for reply.
The whole way from clinic to home, went with silence. Deep inside his heart, something was trembling, a tremor was not let his heart settling. He looked at Naina every now and then, and she was laying on her back with closed eyes. He couldn't guess anything, he couldn't peep into her, but now sure that something was bothering her badly and now the enquiries of Vivek, left him more in suspicion.
"Haa, sab thik hai... Bas Naina ko thoda rest karne bola hai... Kuch tests bhi kiye.. ek week me aayengi reports...",he slowly replied looking deeply to his worried expressions and stepped ahead with Naina in his arms.
Vivek and vishakha nodded understandably and stepped aside. But just then the couple stepped on first stile, he said again," Sameer... Tum dono temporarily niche hi room me shift q nhi ho jate... I mean aise me Naina ko jyada upar niche karna to thik nhi naa..."
Sameer stopped immediately, pondered over the new suggestion and again observed his expressions. Though there was not that bitterness in their relationship now, but still they didn't interfere un eachother's matter at all as an mutually understood agreement. And now this sudden concern was not only confusing but scaring him too. But then he knew about the love and adoration he had for Naina as a daughter and didn't think much about the concern, though his suggestion was really thoughtful.
"Hmm... Kar sakte hai... Mai kah dunga ramdhari ko samaan shift karne... Thanks, really good idea...",he politely took the suggestion and smiled.
In this whole time, Naina and Vishakha was nothing but mute spectators. Though Naina didn't want to change her room, but for now she had more big things to think and vishakha seemed to lost somewhere. So, she didn't interrupt and thinking something deeply rubbed her palms as if calming herself.
As the couple slowly climbed on the stairs, Vivek looked their back with all the concern and worried frowns of his heart and then threw a sharp glance on his wife and stomped out wherein Vishakha helplessly looked at his retreating figure.
**********************************
"Naina... Tum rest karo.. mai kuch khane ko lata hu...", He carefully made her laid on bed and said softly.
Though Naina thought that he would talk as soon as they found some privacy, but seemed like he was pushing the moment, perhaps dreaded so much in heart. But now, she knew that it's high time to talk. She gently tugged his hand, when he was about to leave.
Sameer looked her hand tightly clasped on his, quickly thought something and sat beside her. He softly wrapped her in his arms and said,"don't worry Naina... Kuch nhi hoga... Pichhle week tum roz office gyi naa, isiliye thoda exertion ho gya... But don't worry, I will take care of everything now... Tum bilkul bhi mat ghabrana... Yaad hai naa, tum hi to kahti ho ki hamari life me kuch bhi seedha nhi hota to ye khushi seedhe seedhe kaise mil jayegi... Haan..."
Softly he tried to calm her and left without even another word. Naina sighed knowing his empty words very well. It was nothing but his hollow try to pushing back his own trembling heart. But perhaps for the first time she too had nothing to console him.
However, Sameer came with a fruit bowl after sometime, and fed her talking anonymously. Though all the time he was trying to avoid her eyes, pushing back the most awaited talk or perhaps trying to be normal.
"Sameer...",she tried to say something again and he was probably thinking of some excuse to slip, but this time his luck or might be hard luck, the phone rang and he ran. Naina sighed and looked at him talking on phone.
"Shit... Ye kya kiya maine...",he muttered a line of curse to himself and banged his fist on steering wheel.
That phone call was from office. He was informed about a new deal and his assistant asked that if she could laid a meeting about that on next day. He agreed, but after hanging the call, excusing for an important work in office to Naina he left hurriedly. But now, even before crossing the second lane, he cursed himself to leave her alone. All he was doing in this whole time; desperately pushing back the unwanted revelations that he didn't know but his heart was sensing. But now, he didn't want to avoid that anymore. He sighed, took some deep breaths and turned the car.
******************************
"Vivek... Aap aise q kah rahe hai...",vishakha said a bit louder than usual to her husband.
"Mai... Really Vishakha.... Mai kya kah rha hu... Tum khud ko dekho aur socho ki tumne kya kiya hai... Tumhe kuch andaza bhi hai ki tumne...",vivek retorted back almost immediately.
"Please Vivek... Maine aisa kuch nya nhi kiya... Mai koi anokhi maa nhi hu aisa karne wali... meri jagah koi aur bhi maa hoti to yhi karti...", Vishakha interrupted him and said still maintaining her loud voice.
"Isi baat ki to taklif hai Vishakha... Tumne wo kiya jo shayad koi bhi saas karti lekin wo nhi kiya jo tumhare jaisi maa ko karna chahiye tha...", Vivek couldn't help but a bit emotional now.
"Nhi Vivek...", Vishakha softened seeing his husband being emotional. She came closer, rubbed his back and said softly,"Vivek, aap samajh nhi rahe... Maine jo bhi kiya hai Sameer ke liye hi kiya hai... Wo aane wala bachha, is ghar ka pehla chirag, Sameer ka waaris... Mai kaise use aise jane deti.. wo bhi tab ki jab fr se... Aap samjhiye naa Vivek, please...",she left her sentence incomplete and made a soft requesting tone.
"Mai samjhu..", Vivek again sneered and almost roared on her. He jerked his hand from hers and growled,"kya kha tumne... Mai samjhu... Is waqt is ghar me mujhse jyada Sameer ki condition koi nhi samajh sakta Vishakha... Dukh to is baat ka hai ki tumne apne bete ko bhi nhi samjha... Utna bhi nhi jitna ek pati hone ke hisab se... Ek hone wale bachhe ke baap hone ke hisab se mai samajh rha hu..."
His voice lowered and he sat on the couch in a defeated way and continued,"aise hi ek waqt maine Rohini ko khoya tha... Us waqt maa ne bhi yhi kiya tha... Vishakha, tum soch bhi nhi sakti ki rohan ke janam ke waqt, hospital me bitate huye wo kuch ghante aj bhi meri jindagi ka sabse bhyanak waqt hai... Rohini meri biwi thi, mere hone wale bachhe ki maa thi... Obviously mai usse pyar bhi karta tha, Fr bhi maa ko kuch nhi kha... aj tak ye baat chubhti hai mujhe.. aur tumne..."
"Maine kya Vivek... Aapke saath jo bhi hua pr ab toh sab thik hai naa... aise hi Sameer ki jindagi me bhi sab thik ho jayega...", Vishakha sat beside him and tried to make him understand.
"Really Vishakha...",he lost his cool again and shouted,"itna hi janti ho apne bete ko... Arey Naina sirf uski biwi ya hone wale bachhe ki maa nhi hai... Wo dono sirf shadi ke bandhan se nhi jude hai... Unko jodta hai unka pyar, unki saansei, unki dhadkan... Arey pagal ho tum jo ye sochti ho ki sab thik ho jayega... Ek pal bhi nhi ji paayega tumhara beta agar uski Naina ko kuch ho gya... Tumhe kya lagta hai ki bachhe ko dekh kar wo Naina ko bhul jayega... Arey, Ek saans tak nhi le paayega wo... aur agar, ji bhi gya naa to wo jindagi kabhi normal nhi hogi... Wo bachha... Tumne socha hai kabhi is bare me ki kya Sameer us bachhe ko kabhi apna payega jiski wajah se usne apni Naina khoyi... Vishakha wo..."
Vivek had to left incomplete as a loud sound of crash asked for their attention, but as soon as they turned to see the culprit and stunned as if the time froze.
*******************************
Sameer hold the knob of door tightly as if fearing for falling on the floor, but despite of this, he badly banged in low wooden case and almost all the expensive crystal pieces met their luck shattering in pieces. Though it was a loud crash, but the explosions he was feeling around himself were way louder and bigger than anything else. His eyes were froze on them but ears were ringing with the words he just overheard.
"Sameer...", Vivek and Vishakha already paled, but controlling himself, Vivek stepped ahead to held him.
Sameer took a back step hastily showing his palm to him.
All the information he accidentally got, was not difficult but impossible for him to take. His eyes red, fiery and wide as if wanted to jump out of socket and breaths ragging.
"Sameer, tum...",worried Vishakha stepped to hold him, but he again took a back step.
His feet got injured on scattered glass, but he didn't even flinch, just looking at his mother with empty eyes. The hollow, the emptiness in his eyes made Vishakha shivered. She wanted to say something but nothing came out of her throat.
Yes, it was right that for the first time, his step father could understand his hurt more than anyone else. He wanted to hold him, but knew that he didn't need him but his Naina only. He thought to bring Naina downstairs and looked up towards their room.
Sameer too followed his gaze, suddenly his heart shrink. He felt suffocated. The breathing air felt like thickening in the room. He choked badly. Keeping a hand on his chest and other on mouth, he coughed hoarsely and doubled in pain.
Their anniversary party to today morning, every little thing, that he was overlooking, suddenly made the blurry picture clear. Her wishes to her diary and every other thing, that she gave him one or other explanation, now stood naked before him. He was in deep pain, but didn't know which was difficult to endure, the fear on her life, or the feeling of betrayal to his love.
It was near that he would collapsed on floor and injured himself badly, but all of a sudden he ran. Avoiding his injured feet, avoiding the persons standing there in a state of major shock, avoiding everything else, he just ran, not outside, but towards his Naina.
Sameer ran upstairs, opened the door with a bang and closed with a thud.
Vishakha and Vivek couldn't say a word, but just helplessly looked at the bloody trail he left behind.
"Ho gya ab... Mna lo ab pote ki khushi...", Vivek sneered again.
"Nhi Vivek, aisa nhi hai... Sameer, abhi shock me hai... Aap dekhiyega sab thik hoga... Aakhir uske pyar ki nishani hoga wo bachha...", Vishakha replied slowly, but for the first time a bit disoriented and unsure.
"Seriously Vishakha..", Vivek slapped his forehead and added,"tumse baat karne se acha mai kisi deewar me sar fod lu... Arey jab pyar hi nhi rahega, jab use pyar karne wali Naina hi nhi hogi toh pyar ki nishani ka kya..."
"Vivek, aap...", vishakha rubbed her palms in nervousness, for the first time feared of outcome, but Vivek interrupted.
"Chup raho tum... tum samajhna hi nhi chahti... arey, kya Kabhi tumne sameer ki baate dhyan se nhi suni... Meri ya tumhari tarah wo vivek ya vishakha nhi khta... Uske liye Naina 'meri Naina' hai... wo ek pal ke liye bhi uske bina... Lekin tum toh... Mai bhi pta nhi kisko samjhane ki koshish kar raha hu... Pagal ho gyi ho tum... Itne saalo se mummy ke saath reh kr, tum bhi waisa hi sochne lagi ho...", he shouted, tried to made her understand calmly, but then blabbered in disappointment.
******************************
"Sameer...", till now, unknown to the storm in her house, Naina was sleeping peacefully in her room, but as soon as the door banged open and closed, she got up with a startle and looked at him.
Sameer had closed the door, and resting his back on door, he was breathing very heavily and unevenly.
"Naina...",he looked her, vehemently walked to her and took her in his embrace.
"Kya hua Sameer...",she asked softly.
"Naina, ek baar... Sirf ek baar...",he breathed hard and said again,"sirf ek baar kah do ki... Niche... Mummy... Mummy aur unke husband... Wo... Wo... Wo jo baat kar rahe the wo jhut... Jhut hai... Jhut hai na..."
Naina looked at him, tried to assess the situation. Her heart pounded guessing the right thing but she chose to be sure and then replied softly,"kaun si baat Sameer... Mai to so rahi thi naa... Mujhe nhi pta chala..."
"Naina.. mummy... Tum... Tum thik ho naa... Wo sab jhut tha na... Tum mujhe chhod ke nhi jaogi naa... Kabhi nhi...",he asked somehow gathering the right set of words.
She trembled in his arms badly. Her eyes squeezed shut and she breathed deeply. Slowly he caressed his back and exhaled audible. His arms tightened around her instinctively and once again he asked,"Naina, nhi naa.."
"Sameer tum...",she wanted to say something but he asked again, this time a bit louder,"Naina... Jhut hai naa..."
"Sameer... ",She shivered but interrupted again.
"Naina, jhut naa...",he was very desperate, but unwilling to listen anything unwanted.
"Naina, jhut naa.. please ek baar bas...",he pulled back from the tight hug, hold her hand and kept on his heart.
His eyes were ready to spill pain, but somehow he was holding back and looking at her like his life depended on the word of her mouth. But this was not just a probability, his life was actually on stake.
Naina knew, it's the time to revelations. She closed her eyes. Some tears trickled on her lashes, and slowly she pulled back her hand from his heart.
As a sudden horror striked in his eyes, when he saw her hand going away. Her eyes closed, cheeks wet, lips shivering, he got the reply, or perhaps already knew it, but ignoring it till now.
He jumped and got up of the bed with a jolt, his hands were trembling, he was shaking his head in no, eyes zeroed on nothing and he took some hasty back steps. He badly banged in cupboard, then tv table and coffee table, but perfunctory of all this, he walked towards washroom. He loudly banged in washroom door too but then entered and closed the door.
Naina was still sitting with eyes closed, listening to the sounds of bumps, flinching with every breath and let out a choked sob and cried. Suddenly at this moment her eyes fell on blood stains here and there in room. Her heart sank, quickly she got up and ran towards the washroom.
******************************
I WAS TOO CAUGHT UP ON LAST WEEKEND, SO COULDN'T POST EARLIER.
I PLANNED TO POST LIVE TO LOVE ON COMING WEEKEND, BUT NOW AS IT IS LATE, THAT WILL BE A LATE TOO.
SORRY IN ADVANCE... WILL UPDATE VERY SOON... BOTH THE BOOKS....