Chapter 3
𝐽𝐸𝑂𝑁 𝐽𝑈𝑁𝐺𝐾𝑂𝑂𝐾
I was surprised when someone barged abruptly into the room. I rubbed the knot on my forehead, shifting in my chair. "You've got some food there? I'm famished." Dr. Min was frowning as he rushed to my small bag of snacks. I was checking my patient's medical chart, feeling quite nervous as I let Yoongi rummage through my food since he looked as if he was going to pass out any minute.
He continued, "I haven't eaten anything since this morning." I saw him take out a peel sausage and bento box before grabbing a chair from across the room. He sat as soon as he could and started eating. "You know what, sometimes I think I shouldn't have studied Medicine. I could just find another job and still make good money."
I stopped reading and gave him an understanding look. "I think like that sometimes. It's normal to hate your job when things get toxic." Doctors are busy people. I had always been so busy and missing sleep, but I loved doing this so I would stay.
I kept back to where I left off and heard him sigh. "What are you doing?"
"I've got a surgery in a few minutes. I hope Doctor Won will let me perform the surgery alone."
Yoongi shook his head. "I doubt that. He doesn't let second-year residents work on their own."
I shrugged my shoulders. For many months, I'd simply thought of myself in an operating room, leading the surgery and guiding the others, but that would happen after a few more years. I wasn't yet permitted to practice on my own, and we were closely supervised. It would have been okay, if only my attending weren't affecting burnout in my medical training. There was no doubt Dr. Won was a great surgeon and there were times I could find myself looking up to him, but the way he treated his residents was giving me a sense of inferiority. Maybe it was just me wanting to feel entitled or me having an impatient ego, but I needed at least a good working environment. You signed up for this, Dr. Jeon. Now, put that MD embroidered after your name to use.
Then, there was a faint knock. My gaze darted to the door and suddenly, a nurse I knew poked her head in. "Doctor Jeon, your patient is already in the holding area."
I hastily stood up from the swivel chair and grabbed the folders stacked next to my laptop. "Have you started an IV?"
"Yes, Doctor."
"Call Doctor Won and tell him we have to conduct preoperative exam."
"Actually, he is already there. And Doctor Min, Doctor Hong is also asking you to scrub in." My eyes averted to Yoongi and I recognized the sign he was a little upset about it. I shifted my attention back to the nurse and thanked her. "We will be there," I said. She nodded and left, closing the door shut.
"Man, I just want to eat..." He was shoveling as much of the food he could bring into his mouth in one minute. I walked to him, tapping his shoulder before taking off my doctor's coat.
Both of us rushed out and parted ways in the halls. As soon as I arrived in the holding area, I walked up to the bed where my patient was assigned in. Doctor Won instantly gestured me to start. I smiled at Mister Jang who was my fifty-six-year-old patient and asked how he was. "Nervous?" I asked.
He snorted a breathy laugh and gave me a light tap on my arm. "Not at all. I'm confident you're going take care of me."
It made me grin. I motioned at my attending and said, "He's Doctor Won, and he's your surgeon."
"Why is it not you?" He questioned with a confused look. I nearly would have stopped him from saying that, considering my boss was just standing behind me.
"I'm going to assist, don't worry. Besides, Doctor Won is one of the best doctors here," I assured him.
I began to take my patient's history and perform physical examinations. When I finished, I turned to face Dr. Won. "He's having a knee arthroscopy for a meniscus tear." He had a stern expression, well, he usually had that kind of face, so I brushed off my anxiety. He checked Mister Jang's identification band and asked for personal information before signing the surgical site. Doctor Won left without a word to prepare for the surgery.
A scrub nurse approached me. I glanced up at her and said, "Can you call his anesthesiologist?"
"Will do, Doctor."
An intern interfered, "I'm going to book an OR now."
I wore an appreciative smile. "Yes, please. Thanks."
Once everything was ready, he was taken to the operating room. It didn't take long until Mister Lee had been injected with local anesthetic. Dressed in a surgical scrub, I prepped the patient's left leg, sterilely cleaned and draped it. Right then, the surgical team gathered around and assisted Dr. Won as he made a small incision and inserted the arthroscope into the patient's knee. I noticed that the intern standing beside me was slightly flinching at the sight. I almost rolled my eyes.
An hour went on with me just observing my attending's every move, handing over every surgical instrument he requested and doing the suction drain, all the while watching the video monitor. As much as I wanted to do each procedure, I had no choice but shut my mouth, learn, and do as I was told.
I breathed in relief when it was over and Mr. Lee was transported to the recovery room. My scrubs was dirty when I went out of the OR while taking off my mask, head cover, and surgical gloves. I felt someone pat my back—it was Dr. Won. "Administer pain medication once he wakes up," he instructed.
"Yes, Doctor. I will discharge him home tonight, too."
"Right. Come by my clinic at seven pm."
"I will..." He was about to turn around and walk away when I chose to ask, "Doc, can I have a request?" Curiosity was written on his face and I couldn't help but feel intimidated.
"What is it?"
"Can you give me a chance to lead a surgery next time?"
His thick brows drew together. I already knew it wouldn't go well for me. "I can't allow that yet knowing you still haven't learned everything."
"How can I learn if you don't let me try?"
"Earn it and only take opportunities that are granted to you. You don't know the problems we can encounter because of medical malpractice. Go clean yourself up." He didn't even let me speak again and simply strode away with prompt steps.
It was frustrating to think that I graduated from med school with huge hope of saving lives and doing whatever I could to help people, but reality slapped me hard. In actual training, we have superiors to ask consent from and boss us around; however, I also knew it was essential to follow those ones who were even more experienced than I was.
Letting out a sigh, I headed to the designated changing room and threw on my clean scrub suit after I properly scrubbed in. I was making my way back to the on-call room when a voice called for my name. There was an alarm in my head. I felt so ashamed just as I remembered I was supposed to phone her and see the new resident to go for coffee. It totally slipped from my mind. I watched her come towards me, her hands dug into the pockets of her white coat. I must have looked awkward the moment I flashed a strained smile.
"Hi. Are you free now?" Dr. Park really appeared expectant and it made me feel bad.
I pressed my lips together, then decided to tell her I couldn't make it. "Unfortunately, I still have documentation work. Can we move it tonight? Or tomorrow if something urgent comes up. My shift will be finished tomorrow by eight in the morning."
I observed how her face fell. Obviously, she wasn't pleased, but she was quick to hide it with a wide grin, only that it didn't reach her eyes, and she was a little unenthusiastic to me now. She was biting her lower lip, as if contemplating the idea. Few seconds later, she was nodding her head in a languid manner. "I won't be free for the rest of the night..."
I ignored the fact that her tone signified disappointment.
"Tomorrow, then? I'm really sorry." I tried to sound very apologetic because I was, only not completely.
"I have a conference."
I sighed. "Let's just see if our schedules match tomorrow. At night."
"Okay." She didn't seem convinced. Next, we were both lost for words. I didn't know how to keep the conversation going because we weren't close, and I was only good at it when I was dealing with patients. Dr. Park Soohyun awkwardly beamed at me. "I'll see you next time, then?"
I smiled back at her. "Of course. I'm sorry again."
"No, it's fine. I understand." I watched her go with her chin up, leaving me with a tinge of guilt. But I knew she would understand. She was a doctor like me, so she knew better that I was really tied up to my job, and there was no choice.
Was it just me or she was a little weird? I didn't want to be rude and I agreed to have coffee with her because why not? We were colleagues, both surgical residents, and working in the same hospital. It was nice to know a lot of people in my field, but she was giving me a strange vibe. I sensed it the same time she willingly offered to give her phone number though we weren't yet close to being friends. I wasn't even planning on getting her number had she not suggested it. If I refused, it would be impolite of me.
I wasn't being judgemental or anything, but I really didn't want other than the people I was close with to know my number. I'd had enough of strangers calling me up and even sharing it to others.
I spent the next hour facing my laptop and reading through my paperwork. My eyes were dry and I had to take a break when I felt my nape numbing. I made sure to complete my task before handing in the documents to the assistant professor.
"Jungkook, a doctor came by and asked me to give this to you," my senior resident informed me as soon as I came back. I didn't have an idea who would give it to me, but I accepted anyway. She handed me a cup of coffee, a yellow post-it note stuck on it. I read what was written in there.
'still looking forward to the coffee date. — PSH'
As if on cue, everything added up and registered to me. Something was odd, I knew it. I was aware of this kind of thing. I experienced this many times before, and even without confirmation from her I could tell by her stares besides her actions that I was thinking it right.
Dr. Park had a crush on me.
. . .
I realized I still had my reading eyeglasses on when I was heading to the residents lounge but I pretended to not take notice. My pager was securely placed inside the pocket of my coat in case I would be called for an emergency. I just finished dinner with my fellow residents at the cafeteria and I usually would catch up with others in the lounge.
Taehyung waved his hand at me when we met gazes. I occupied the seat opposite him.
He looked excited when he spoke. "I saw someone familiar earlier."
I crossed my leg over the other and fished out my phone to post another selca on my Instagram. I was quite active on social media and got over a hundred thousand of followers, though I didn't exactly know why. The only plausible reason I knew was the fact that I was made to advertise a few local brands of clothing, shoes, and watches. I also appeared in some YouTube videos when I was asked for interviews by young youtubers. Also, was it because I was one of the students who topped the Korean Medical Licensing Exam? I was still confused.
I raised a brow, not looking at my friend.
Taehyung went on, "Park Soohyun is working here."
I stopped scrolling on my gallery. "You know her?"
"Of course. Why would I not? She was from our school. I think she has just started her training here. I haven't heard about her for so long."
"Wait... I already know that. She was introduced to me days ago, and I got really embarrassed when I couldn't remember her."
He grimaced, like I told him something ridiculous. Why was it a big deal? "That's impossible. She's one of the gorgeous ladies in our batch! How come you don't know?"
"There are lot of students to name. It's been years. And I didn't study to take note of every attractive girl in school."
He kept saying I was lying but I stayed silent so he would not reiterate his point. I dared not to mention that I had a hunch Park Soohyun likes me because that would give him ideas. Taehyung was notorious of helping out the girls who were hitting on me. I had no time for a woman. My days and nights were filled with work.
'I don't need a girlfriend. I need sleep, or a vacation!' I yelled in my mind.
》AUTHOR'S NOTE《
this book is close to 900 reads and i'm so thankful for that!
i will be starting my classes next week but i'll try to update my books every now and then :")
also, dynamite mv will be out tomorrow! don't forget to stream <3 have a great day/night!