I was standing on a rooftop overlooking a dark body of water with splashing, foaming white waves. It didn't look like a place that was meant for visitors, didn't have comfortable furniture or lights, but somehow I got a familiar feeling from it all. A feeling like I'd spent up here, staring out at the ocean and empty street below. A familiarity that brought me towards the ledge and the dark silhouetted figure that sat there.
I came to a stop just a few feet away from them, standing on the ledge so that the toes of my shoes stuck out. Just one strong gust of wind away from plummeting to the dark sea below. Even with that thought, I felt no fear of that possibility.
"Still, literally, living on the edge, I see," the shadowed figure beside me said, sparking more familiarity with me. They looked up at the same time I looked down on them, the moonlight washing over their face and illuminating their features.
His eyes were the same dark color as mine, his jaw square. His hair looked nearly an inky black color, thick and wind tousled. Half his mouth quirked up in an uncertain smile, the slant of his eyes becoming slightly more prominent. He sat with his legs dangling over the side of the building, hands on the ledge holding up his broad shoulders. I would swear I'd never seen in a day in my life, except that I knew I'd known him for the majority of it.
Even if I couldn't remember it.
"Says the guy with half his body on the other side."
He laughed, his deep voice reverberating in the space between us before sobering up. His eyes scanned my face almost desperately, confirming my guess on his identity. "Do you know who I am?" he asked, tone quieter than before.
I looked away as I took a breath trying to keep my emotions in check. "You're my brother," I answered. "Roman."
His sigh of relief was audible. "I told Daniel you'd remember me, there was no way you'd forget your baby brother. But he kept insisting you wouldn't, that you weren't the same Emmy—"
"I said I know who you are," I interrupted, looking over at him tensely. "Not that I remember you, and just like I told Hurricane, I'm not your Emmy."
The relief and moment's happiness that had been on Roman's face just seconds before, suddenly disappeared. It was like a shadow had fallen across his face, extinguishing his light. "Right, yeah I heard," he said briskly. "You go by Madalyn now, right? Or Maddie, as your little boyfriend likes to say."
My teeth and fists clenched at his words. This was it, then; this was the message Dick said we would be waiting for. "Where is he? Jason better be alive, or so help me God—"
"What? Are you going to kill me?" Roman countered, the slightest bit of hurt evident on his face. "You're going to kill me, your brother, the only family you have left, for some weirdo who likes to play dress up? That's what you're telling me right now?"
I felt my own pang of hurt at the accusation, and I knew I couldn't do it. Whether I remembered him or not, Roman was my brother and I couldn't imagine getting rid of him like that. "I'm telling you that he better be alive," I replied shortly.
"Well in that case, sure, he's alive," he shrugged, waving a hand over his shoulder. I glanced back, doing a double take at the image filling the skyline behind us.
Jason was restrained in the same chair and room that I remembered from before, face bruised. His head was tipped forward, chin on his chest and hair falling into his face. For a second, I couldn't tell if he was breathing or not but then his neck rolled back, body tense as he uselessly yanked at his restraints.
I didn't realize I was doing it until Roman spoke, but I'd taken a step back as if to move towards Jason.
"You can't get to him here," he said. "Everything here is just a dream."
"Then how do I know he's really alive?" I snapped.
Roman gave me another silent, assessing look. "Why do you care so much about this kid? If what Daniel says is true, you've only known him for maybe a week. So why does he matter to you?"
"Answer my question."
"Answer mine."
I gritted my teeth, annoyed to see the same stubbornness that frustrated Dick so much, staring back at me. "The dream I had before with him and... Daniel, was that you too?" Roman's thick brows drew down but he nodded. "And what happened was real?" Another silent, confused nod. "Then there's your answer. I may not have known him long, but in the time that I have he's been nothing but a true friend. He's being beaten and bound by cowards and still hasn't given up any kind of information about me. He's had my back since that first night and I hesitated once to do so. That's why he matters."
I could tell it was grudgingly, but Roman gave another nod, this time of respect and acknowledgment. "To answer your question," he said. "You can know he's still alive because of you. We may not have understood it, but we knew he's important to you. We're trying to get you to come back home, Emmy, to us. We're not stupid enough to think you'd do it if we killed him."
"It's been years... why now? Why are you trying so hard now to bring me home?"
"I didn't know you were alive!" Roman burst out emotionally. "They told me you died during that last phase of testing. They showed me a picture of you lying on a steel table, dead. How was I supposed to know that you weren't?"
"Actually see the body for yourself, maybe. Make sure that they weren't lying and didn't just dump me by a river for anyone to find. Those seem like pretty good options to me."
"So how do you explain that you're still breathing now? Daniel said he was there when you were shot a few days ago. That you were bleeding out so quickly that there was no way you could've survived it. Seeing it for himself made no difference in the end. He thought you were dead and yet you're very much alive."
"No thanks to him and his gun- wielding squad," I replied, crossing my arms over my chest.
Anger flashed across Roman's face as he looked up at me, but I could visibly see him force it to change. Within seconds, everything about his features and posture turning pleading as he climbed to his feet and stood across from me. If he'd been closer, he would've towered over me, at least half a foot taller. There was nothing baby about my brother. "You don't have to worry about those guys, okay? I already took care of them. Just please come back to me, Em. I need you, Emmy. I need my sister."
As much as I hated to admit it, my heartached at his begging words, making me feel guilty. But it's not my fault, I had to remind myself. None of this is my fault, except for Jason. If I'm going to feel guilty for anything, it's going to be Jason.
Roman's body tensed some, his eyes narrowing ever so slightly as he said again. "Please."
I sighed. "If I go, you have to let him go. Alive. An even trade or no deal."
"Done," he agreed without hesitation, a smile crossing his face. "I mean, that's been the plan all along anyway, you know?"
"And Hurri—Daniel needs to leave him alone," I added. "No more hitting or torturing him or asking whatever pointless questions—"
"That might be a little bit more challenging to guarantee," Roman interrupted. "Daniel's always been uncontrollable with anything that has to do with you. You apparently don't remember this, but he's been in love with you since we were kids. To say he's jealous of you falling for someone else would be an understatement."
"I don't give two fucks how that makes him feel, he needs to leave Jason alone," I said sharply, pointing to the image still on full display behind me. "If he looks any worse than that, if I found out Daniel or anyone else so much as breathes on him, I will show you what uncontrollable truly looks like."
"To be fair, someone is going to have to breathe on him to release him..." There was a bitterness to his smirk, but it disappeared as he realized my words weren't just an annoyed, empty threat. He let out an exasperated sigh but nodded. "Fine, I'll handle it. But all of this only works if you come alone. I mean it, Emmy, no one. Just you, or things are going to go bad, fast."
"Promises, promises," I said sarcastically, Roman's jaw tightening in response. "I'll be there alone. Just know that if you cross me in anyway, that little threat can go both ways."
Roman laughed humorlessly. "I think Mom and Dad would've been happy to see us agreeing on something for once. Even if we are on different sides."
I flinched at the mention of our parents, but otherwise didn't acknowledge his words. "Where am I going?"
"You'll know when you wake up."
"What the fuck do you mean—" Before I could finish the question, I started to wake to the real world. Tangled in the bedsheets, feeling Dick's body heat beside me, I stared and blinked rapidly up at the ceiling. While the foggy feeling of sleep and the image of Roman drifted away, they were replaced with a vivid image of an address. "Guess that's what he meant," I mumbled.
Biting my lip, I looked over at Dick, wondering what I should do next. It wasn't as if the demand for me to go alone was unexpected, because it was far from it. whatever else we would come to plan, it was always going to somehow involving going around that fact.
Up until I'd woken up, I really had planned on going with backup. Especially with Dick, our anger and in sync movements could easily get through any security at the building. Unfortunately, the security wasn't going to be the problem.
Hurricane and Roman were; especially Roman.
While he'd been busy assessing me, I'd been doing the same. There was something innately dark in him; something I recognized because I had it in me too. Maybe we were born with it, or maybe it was another by product of the experiments. In the end, the only thing that matters is that it exists and unlike me, he didn't seem very inclined to keep it at bay. I heard it in the way he said he "took care" of the ones responsible for my most recent death. I saw it in the way he reacted every time I showed more concern for Jason than caring for his return in my life.
Roman was hardened and angry, had nothing to lose in life and more than willing to burn if it meant taking every one and thing down with him.
Which was more than dangerous for me because I couldn't afford to make as reckless and spontaneous moves as him. Moving wrong could mean losing someone I care about; it could mean losing Dick. And with Donna already gone, I didn't even want to imagine what his death would do to me.
I felt like for as long as I'd spent staring at his peaceful, sleeping face, he should've woken up by now. Like he should've felt the heat from my gaze, open his eyes and just know in that way he does that I was planning to run off on my own. But he didn't, and the longer I stared at him, the more I wanted to make him.
I wanted to argue with him again about which one of us was being more stubborn. I wanted to feel the tension in the air around us as we fought not to grab at each other before coming to even the smallest agreement on something.
I wanted to get lost in the feel of him for just a few more hours, soaking up every moment like a sponge. I wanted to just lay there against him, just listening to him describing a future for us that I could only ever dream of having.
I slipped out of the bed and headed for his bathroom. Along the way, I paused long enough to take another glance at his still sleeping form before grabbing my new suit from its case.
Once I'd changed into it in the bathroom, I felt like an entirely different person. I suddenly looked as fierce as I always wanted myself to seem to others. I looked like someone with nothing to lose and patience that shouldn't be tested. Someone who could be angel or devil without anyone knowing which.
With my hair loose around me and a purpose burning inside of me, just for a second, I could swear I looked like Donna before she headed out on a mission. My fingers skimmed along the floral pattern on my bodice and suddenly I was reminded of Donna explaining the flower meanings to me again. "Black Roses usually represent the feeling of loss and acknowledgment of mortality... Dahlia's symbolize inner strength and staying strong and true to your values..."
My other hand drifted into the pocket with the vine covered dart as the words drifted through my mind, chased by the violent image of my first death. In that moment, none of it seemed connected to me in anyway at all, but I couldn't help but feel like it was. I looked once more at myself in the mirror, trying to pull that feeling into an idea that made sense, but came away with nothing.
I had someplace I needed to be and couldn't afford to waste any more time on that mystery.
Opening the bathroom door again and stepping back out into Dick's room, I froze for a moment. His was empty and the room door was left cracked open. I'd stupidly hoped for it before and now he was awake somewhere in the suite and my sneaking out had become that much harder. "Dumbass," I mumbled to myself.
I made my way to the door and peered out carefully into the hall. It was silent and empty in both directions which only made me feel more on edge. I tried to remind myself how wide the tower was and how empty with almost everyone gone, but it wasn't as comforting as it should've been. Walking back down the hall, I paused to glance into my room and verify it was empty too before moving on. The closer I got to the main hall and elevator, the more suspicious I was that I hadn't seen Dick anywhere.
I assumed he would've gone looking for me when he woke to an empty space, but the man wasn't an idiot. I was gone from the bed but the bathroom door had been closed; he could've easily put two and two together. He was smart; a detective and a leader.
One who'd delegated tasks to his team.
I let out a laugh at myself for how stupid I'd been all along.
I didn't see Dick anywhere because he was checking in on his team, not because he was hiding behind a fixture just waiting to jump out at me. I was being ridiculous.
I shook my head as I pushed the button for the elevator, the arrival bell dinging automatically. The doors opened to reveal an occupied cab that made me flinch guiltily.
This one was an entirely different suit than the Robin one I'd come to associate with him. This one was nearly all black with blue accents here and there and a blue geometric bird across his chest. There was no more cape; a new sleek and mature look. I just caught a glimpse of escrima sticks just behind his back.
Dick's body was a hard line, leaned against the elevator wall with his arms crossed over his chest and boots crossed at his ankles. Framed by mask and hair, his facial features betrayed the frustration he clearly felt. His dark eyes bored into mine, rooting me to my spot, a muscle jumping at his clenched jaw.
"I thought I was pretty clear when I said I had every intention of keeping you with me. I've lost you more times than I care to count. I'm not doing it again."