Warning: suicidal thoughts, mentions of homicide
So I'm feeling very depressed today and I feel like just writing a depressing chapter, and let me explain why I chose to do it through Dick Grayson.
I came across a Pinterest post that said everyone writes Dick Grayson wrong, and they're upset about it. And I couldn't agree more.
Dick Grayson is very happy a lot, I'll give authors credit for that.
But people don't understand the real reason behind why he acts like this.
One of the ways people use to cope with things that happen in their life is through happiness. This is how Dick went about getting over his emotional trauma from his parents death.
Bruce on the other hand, went into a drive to do everything in his power to stop what happened to him from happening to others. But he put himself in a dark place in the process.
One of the reasons I love Dick Grayson so much as a character is because I understand him. He pretends everything is fine to heal.
And that's what separates him the most from Bruce. Is how they get over their traumas, even though they're almost the same thing.
But everybody views Grayson as JUST the really comedic character all the time, and that's not true. He's so much more than just comic relief.
He's a hard worker, and feels the weight of the world on his shoulders all the time. He chooses to enjoy things in life as they are, which is something not a lot of people actually do.
He's also the glue to many families. The Batfamily, the Teen Titans, heck everyone in the superhero community.
Without him, Bruce would be lost. In fact, Bruce even claims out loud Dick is his rock. Even with their weird relationship, the point still stands.
Jason is very hard headed, but part of the reason he's back in n the Batfamily is because of Dick's contstant nagging.
Tim is very smart, but Bruce tends to just use that to his advantage, but Dick sees Tim as an equal, and treats him like he should.
And Damian. Don't let me get started on that topic. Dick is basically like Damian's second father.
Point being, he's the only reason the Batfamily is still thriving. He also started the Teen Titans. Because he knew the hardships of being a teenage superhero.
But he also feels like everything is his fault, although he wouldn't admit that out loud unless completely nesscesarry.
Everything was a mess.
Bruce disowned him. He actually did it for real this time. And it was all his fault.
Jason left town and hasn't spoken to any of them in months.
Damian won't speak to him either.
Barbara won't even look at him.
Cass only looks at him with pity.
And Tim... the thought alone was hard enough.
Dick sat on his couch in his apartment in Blüdhaven, staring at the blank white wall across from it. Thinking over the events of the past week.
He killed a man. He killed a person. And nobody would listen to him. Nobody bothered to hear his side of the story. They just went along with whatever Bruce said.
Bruce.
Dick clenched his hands tightly into fists, his knuckles turning white, his bones feeling close to cracking, his blue eyes narrowed into a slim line, his anger bubbling in his chest.
Why would no one listen to him? He lost control.
He thought Tim died. He thought Joker put Killer Croc up to it. He saw Tim's uniform in shreds. It all made sense. So why was everyone mad at him? What did he do wrong?
He killed a man. No, he killed Joker. He broke the rule. There's no turning back from it now.
It felt like he's been staring at the wall for hours, and he had enough of it. He needed to let his anger out somehow. The bags under his eyes felt heavy, as if they added an extra 10 pounds, and maybe that's what caused him to sway.
On his way to the bathroom, Dick grabbed a knife from his stone kitchen counter and walked onto the bathroom tile floor after walking through a small cramped hallway.
Dick slumped down into the white bathtub, and already started to feel numb. He hated feeling numb. He needed to cut. Cutting would help being him back to his senses.
He slipped off his shorts and shirt, leaving him in just his boxers, and quickly swung the very tip of the blade against some of his skin on his legs, leaving a small trickle of blood.
But that still wasn't enough. He still felt numb, still felt nothing. The cut didn't hurt at all, and it worried him. He needed to feel pain. If he didn't, he'd be just like them.
He'd be a monster too.
Dick went for his forearm this time. A little deeper than the cut before, but still nothing. He felt nothing.
He didn't even feel the small little water droplets leaving his eyes. He only knew he was crying because his vision was getting blurry.
He went to cut again, even deeper on his other leg, and let out a chocked sob when he still couldn't feel anything.
Dick tried again, even deeper than the last, hitting his bone on his arms, leaving a deep red slit that started to pool with the red liquid.
And he tried again, and again, and again, until he had no more room to cut himself on.
The strangled sobs he tried so hard to hold back escaped his mouth, and soon all he saw was red. He aimed his knife towards his wrists. He couldn't do this anymore.
If he couldn't feel pain, he's a monster. He couldn't stand hurting people. It would be better if he were dead. Dick went to cut deeply into his wrist, but before he could do so, he felt something hold his hand back.
Following back up to see what stopped him, he could see a man with blonde hair and concerned blue eyes wearing a red costume.
Barry.
He could see Barry's lips moving, but he couldn't hear him. His voice sounded distant, so far off he couldn't hear.
Meanwhile, Barry was worried as heck. Bruce had explained he disowned Dick, which sent the entire Leauge to start ratting him out about how that was possibly the worst decision he ever made.
Wally and Bart were helping look all over America for Dick, but what Barry saw, it was horrible, and he didn't want either of them to see this.
Dick was covered in blood. And he held a bloody knife in his hand, ready to slit his wrists. Barry was suprised he hadn't passed out from blood loss.
"Dick, listen to me. Let go of the knife. I have to take you to a hospital." Barry told the younger man, trying to gently remove the knife from his hands.
But Dick looked out of it, like he was in a trance, which only further worried Barry. He managed to remove the knife from his hands.
And right after the knife was removed, Dick passed out. Barry tried to calm his pounding heart and quickly grabbed Dick out of the bathtub and raced him over to the closest hospital, sending silent prayers the entire way.
The doctors quickly rushed over to him, taking Dick out of his arms and rushing him into the emergency room.
Barry called Bart and Wally first and informed them to tell the Leauge. He would be delivering the news to the Batfamily. He knew they would be very upset, but this was partly their fault.
Unfortunately delivering the news to them would be the easiest part. The not so easiest part? Taking in their reactions.
I just... yeah. That happened.
Don't mind me, just gonna avoid the possible death threats coming my way.
See you later!