Theresa could not remember falling asleep by the fireplace, but she was brought back to wakefulness by chef's voice.
"What happened to you, Theresa? Your face, your poor ear..." She sounded concerned. Theresa did not bother to do anything to respond.
What did it matter?
"Stay right here, my lady. I'll be right back." The chef rushed out of the room and the door banged shut behind her in her haste.
Theresa wondered what was the point of suggesting that Theresa remain when she was trapped regardless. She supposed that she could escape through the window if she really wanted to go. It was still sitting wide open.
After a short time, the chef returned. Theresa was surprised to see Thomas of all people.
"What happened to her?" he asked. He sounded concerned, just like when he had been sympathizing with her aunt. She narrowed her eyes at him.
"I don't know. I found her like this. The window was open so she was probably outside."
The chef lowered her voice, probably because she did not want Theresa to hear. She did not lower it enough. "Can you save her ear?"
"I don't know," Thomas whispered back. Theresa wondered how bad it really was. She did not want to lose her ear, but she still felt oddly calm about the ordeal.
The chef whispered another question too loud for Theresa not to hear. "Will it carry over when she is transformed back?"
Thomas shrugged to indicate that he apparently did not know.
"Don't worry, Theresa. Sir Thomas is a healing wizard. He'll put you to rights," the chef assured her. Theresa supposed that neither of them realized how sensitive a cat's hearing was, never having been cats themselves.
"Relax," ordered Thomas. She wondered if he would have dared to speak to her that way if she was in her human form. Would he still be bold enough to trail after Daphne if Theresa had her human tongue to ward him off?
He was clearly concentrating, unaware of Theresa's suspicious thoughts.
She was not sure what he was doing, but she just let him. She doubted Thomas would want to harm her and Wildwood probably would not look upon the matter too kindly if he did harm a guest.
Her face and head were becoming increasingly warm and then almost unbearably hot. She wanted it to stop. She meowed demandingly. She wanted him to explain what he was doing.
It was all she could do to keep the nervous cat inside her from trying to run away.
Her face finally began to cool and Thomas stepped back.
"Your ear looks much better, Theresa! Sir Thomas has healed it! Thank you, Sir Thomas. I was quite worried about her; I don't mind saying so now."
Theresa's ear did feel fine again. She twitched it experimentally. She could feel that there was still blood plastered on her fur, but the pain was gone.
Had she really come close to losing her ear? Would it have transferred over to her human form?
Assuming that she ever even got back to her human form.
"She'll be fine now," Thomas pronounced. "Missus Allendale, could you please clean the blood off? I don't want Lady Daphne to be upset when she sees her sister."
Theresa could not help but notice that he was worried about Daphne's reaction to seeing Theresa's blood, as opposed to being worried about Theresa's discomfort at having the side of her head caked in it.
She wished she could roll her eyes, but if she could roll her eyes she would have her mouth back and would not need the ability so dearly.
"I will do that," said the chef, smiling, clearly pleased as punch at Thomas' handiwork.
It was not as if Theresa was not grateful. It was just that she was also irritated.
"Lady Daphne will be worrying. I'll go to her now."
"Very good, Sir Thomas," said the chef and Thomas strode out of the kitchen.
Theresa held herself still while the chef washed her face, even though the cat side of her did not like it one bit.
If her cat instincts had been in control she would have been struggling to escape. As it was, she flinched every time the horrible wet cloth touched her fur.
She reminded herself she was grateful for the chef's concern and she even could even bring herself to admit that she felt a bit grateful to Sir Thomas for what he had done, even though he had probably only helped her for the sake of Daphne.
Could he genuinely care for her sister? He spent so much time trying to be charming that he surely must be insincere, but if he did actually have genuine affection and concern, it might be a good thing.
Daphne needed someone to care for her and take care of her. Theresa could not help with that much anymore.
If Thomas was not an untrustworthy bounder, she could be happy for her sister, yet her resentment was never far behind.
She wanted Daphne to be happy and find real love, but she did not want to have to watch it from the sidelines stuck in the body of a cat for the rest of her life.
Theresa did not need someone to take care of her, but it might be nice to have someone of her own who she knew she could always rely on.
* * * * *
After the chef was finished with her, Theresa left the kitchen and made her way back to her room. Or rather to the room that had been assigned to her. It was not hers. Nothing here was really hers.
Even the people were not hers.
She was beginning to understand that she would never have normal relationships with other humans if she was not transformed back into her old self.
It was no wonder that Daphne and Thomas irritated her so.
She missed how close she had felt to her sister. Daphne had always been a bit flighty and annoyingly emotional, but still Theresa had always loved her sister.
Isolated in Waldwick with their cold aunt running their lives and a multitude of servants serving their every need, Theresa and Daphne had still been alone in the world. Even the kindest servant was not a replacement for the loss of their parents.
They had been each other's best friend and family. Theresa had been Daphne's advisor and protector; Daphne had been Theresa's follower and confidant.
But now she lacked the hands to grasp and the mouth to maintain such a relationship. It was not even Daphne's fault or even Thomas'.
There was something about giving and taking amongst humans and all she could do as such a solitary animal was silently take.
She could do nothing anymore, at least nothing in a human way.
Theresa might never be human again. She had known it was a possibility; she had worried it might be, but had never allowed herself to really believe that it could be the truth of her situation.
Now she could not hide from it anymore. Theresa felt a choking feeling in her throat that would probably have meant tears if only she had her human eyes back.
She had heard time and again that transformation spells were among the most difficult sorts of magic.
Francine was apparently a more powerful wizardress than Theresa had ever imagined. There was probably no way to remove the spell short of returning to Francine, but she could never do that. She would never give up and let Francine win.
She would sooner die.
Theresa thought of the way that the cat part of her had taken over when she had been in danger; when the mother cat had swiped at her and when she had been cornered by the mad dog.
She could feel her cat side was always lurking, watching what she did and influencing her actions. She was not even sure that she could know the full extent of its influence on her mind.
Worst of all, she was getting used to it. She found that the idea it was there hardly bothered her anymore.
For the first time, Theresa considered if she would be able to simply live as a cat. The cat part of her mind could take care of her and maybe she could retreat into it. Maybe she could just let the cat worry about things for a while.
Theresa could feel lead in her stomach and the constriction of her cat throat.
She realized she felt grief; she wondered if she was finally mourning her human life.
Maybe the human Theresa was dead and it was time to let her go. Surely everyone would be better off without her being a burden, troubling them all with complex magical difficulties.
She was so tired of being isolated and frustrated and sad. She was tired of all the human feelings she could not express.
Was she being a coward, giving up like this? Even if she was, she did not feel like she had the strength to fight any longer.
Theresa decided she would leave that night.
* * * * *
Theresa waited for Daphne in their room. She ate the food brought for her by the maids and paced around the room impatiently.
Finally Daphne came in and rang a maid who helped her get ready for bed. Daphne would miss her sister but Theresa was glad that she was settling in.
With Theresa gone, Wildwood and Thomas would take care of her, surely they would. She realized with a start that she trusted Wildwood to do that for her. Perhaps they might even sort out the mess with Francine and Daphne's inheritance.
Without Theresa here to stop her, Daphne would probably tell them everything in short order.
Theresa walked over to the window by her borrowed bed and looked out. She would be trapped for the night if it was not opened. Theresa meowed loudly and scratched the window until Daphne came to see what she wanted.
Daphne's voice sounded concerned. "You want to go out now?"
Theresa shook her head, lying. She did not usually lie to Daphne, but what would it matter now?
She wished she could explain instead, but if she could have she also would not need Daphne to open the window.
She would have no reason to go. They would probably already be in the capital, petitioning the king for their freedom from their aunt's coercion as she had originally planned.
Instead, she lied to her sister and planned to leave.
"Are you too warm?" Daphne asked.
It sounded like a good enough innocent reason. Theresa nodded.
Daphne pushed open the shutters a bit. Not much, but enough for Theresa's purposes.
Daphne went back to her own bed and Theresa followed her. She watched Daphne climb under the covers. She reached over and put out the lantern and the whole room was covered in shadow.
Theresa decided that she should lie down too, so that Daphne did not become suspicious. She had her own bed here, but sometimes she spent part of her night on Daphne's as well.
It was not likely, Daphne was trusting by nature but it would still be better to act like she was sleeping for the night. She climbed onto the bed and rested her head.
"I'm glad that Sir Thomas was able to fix your ear, Theresa. He said it was pretty bad," Daphne said in a sleepy sounding voice.
Theresa nodded, even though she knew that her sister could not see. Daphne lay still and soon her breathing became deep and even. Theresa waited to be sure Daphne was asleep. When she was absolutely certain, she walked to Daphne's door.
With one final glance back at her sleeping sister, she walked towards her own bed and leapt up on the window ledge. She squeezed out through the shutters and made her way downwards.
Theresa landed gracefully on the ground and walked towards the woods. The guards on duty barely noticed her as she passed by.
The crescent moon hung low in the sky, giving enough light that Theresa could see clearly in the grey darkness of the trees to move swiftly. She could feel obstacles against her sensitive whiskers.
Theresa slipped agilely through the trees of the grey forest. When she thought she was far enough away from Wildwood, Theresa gave up the fight and let the cat have its way.
She felt herself fade into blissful oblivion, into a warmth and a darkness and at last, into nothing.